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Oppenheimer (2023)
Massive failure
I haven't seen a worse movie in at least five years, at every level scripting, directing,editing, production. Embarrassingly amateurish, boring, repetitive, incomprehensible, written for low-IQ viewers. Almost all dialogue and attention is drowned out by the worst film "music' ever composed - and entirely unsuited and unnecessary. An nsult to intelligence and taste. A very important true story is buried in the endless blathering hype and cutting. The acting is irrelevant and interchangeable. Even the sex scenes are extraneous, laughable and cold. No woman comes across as a credible character. The film attempts to offer a vision moral confusion and disgrace without the slightest concession made to the sequential clarity viewers expecting a 3-hour film.
Marriage (2022)
So....?
This is a very mixed bag. The acting is fine, the camerawork is fine, so is the editing and the directing. But the premise is weak, the writing is amateurish and the relationship unconvincing. Many of the scenes are deliberately cut short as a way of leeching drama and anticipation out of a poor storyboard. As a portrait of an individual marriage, the feeling produced is....so what.? After 27 years of marriage the behavior of the characters seems far fetched and forced. Bergman's iconic film "Scenes from a Marriage" says 20 times more about marriage, and with fewer words and no prolonged kisses. Some scenes seem inserted just to fill time, or in hopes that the viewer will give more meaning to them than the writer was capable of doing.
Marriage Story (2019)
Much Ado about Nothing
Just saw "Marriage Story." A disaster, an embarrassing, schmaltzy excuse for human interest. Despite the two excellent leads, it features at least three despicable performances (and casting choices), including the worst child acting since "Room." Shoddy, ludicrous self-indulgent writing, unbearable set design and cinematography. Many of the key, dramatic, two-person dialogues are shot close up, are stationary, and appear to have been done with the actors in separate locations, which is extremely alienating and ignorantly counter-intuitive. Adam Driver sings - yes, he bursts into song, one of Randy Newman's worst ever! - as if he were CGI'd into the script. This all goes down like American cheese on white bread, soaked in gluten-free L.A. sauce. Noah Baumbach deserves a future directing ED commercials
At Eternity's Gate (2018)
What a waste
A completely cinematically self-indulgent film by Schnabel that, despite Dafoe always-great acting, is boring, disjointed, pretensious, redundant, and pointless.
The Lovers (2017)
The Director Should be Embarrassed
It's important every few months to see a truly shitty movie. Kind of resets things. Luckily we got the chance today, since Tuesday movies are free for us, to see it. Most of you probably never heard of it or will find it near you, but it's called "The Lovers," written and directed by someone unfortunately burdened with the name of Azazel Jacobs. Since almost all the action and drama occurs off-screen, you'll get a big jump on the film by not going to see it. We did because we like Tracy Letts, the great playwright and one of Homeland's stars. But he and Debbie Winger don't get to do much acting because the characters are as thin as a plastic bag, and unattractive, the story flows like a blocked artery, the film has no rhyme or reason, has about the same sex as method without rhythm, and its music is randomly lush and inappropriate, a desperate, ironic attempt to supply the emotion the characters lack. Think Beyonce dancing to the Adagio from Mahler's Fifth Symphony. The entire enterprise is a director's nightmare, like a med student doing heart bypass surgery with a sharpened baseball bat.
American Honey (2016)
A Must-See Film about Desperate and Compassionate Lost American Youth
I'm giving it an A- despite its flaws. It's way too long, and unnecessarily so, badly needs editing, has some character inconsistencies, and at times seems randomly written or improvised, can be redundant and wandering, and in some scenes seems wary of, yet intrigued by, the shock value of its gritty realism. Yet its spirit, its intensity, superb lead and ensemble acting (especially by the multivalent Sasha Lane and Shia LaBeouf ) and a great soundtrack, imaginative scene settings, cinematography, a welcoming sympathy for its characters and for their youthful strength, desperation and compassion, and for portraits of American life rarely seen or explored - all earn very high points for director Andrea Arnold. In five or so years she should, I hope, achieve a film combining the coherence, passion and messaging that here have a floundering relationship, yet underlie the ambition and artistry that surf madly above the mere content of the film. Highly recommended, though I don't know anyone personally who'd like it as much as we did.
Café Society (2016)
A Complete Failure
F. It is a complete failure. Hands down, the worst film he's ever made. Embarrassing. Pathetic. 713 cinematic clichés strung together almost at random, many of them ones he himself coined 40 years ago. Here are the same jokes perpetrating Jewish stereotypes, harping mothers, facial characteristics, Spinoza, waffling intellectuals, the same unattainable romantic ingenues falling unbelievably for a schlep (two in this case), the same pristine crowd-free dusky Manhattan skylines, now visible perhaps only in three locations if a filmmaking permit is granted, the same madcap scenes thrown in to distract from a weak, predictable story to keep you awake at Woody's arthritic nostalgia party, the same visually untranslatable but wholly textual old jokes. Here is Jesse Eisenberg looking almost - and sounding exactly - like a young Woody, a mannered performance, no doubt another of the director's self-worshipping tongue-in- cheek inside-seeking jokes. If that doesn't work, there's Woody himself opening the film and interrupting it every so often in a weary, zombie-like voice-over sounding oddly like Al Sharpton to explain to the viewer the point of what his writing and editing is incapable of realizing. Poor Woody has become a senile old man playing chopsticks on an out-of-tune piano, trapped in his own legend and incapable of a single new idea. If you remember Woody's great films, do yourself a big favor and don't see this: it'll be almost impossible to remember him well afterwards. It's sad to see great artists - and there are others - compulsively make fools of themselves late in life. Someone needs to rescue his dignity from his overpowering myopia, or he may crash into the mirror and cut himself badly. Allen's strong suit has never been self-awareness, only self- consciousness. Here is a film that surely almost everyone over 70 living within two blocks of East 70th Street and 3rd Avenue in Manhattan can relate to. There must be dozens. Think Grandpa in Depends crashing your teenage daughter's pajama party.
Dough (2015)
Yucchhh!
It is impossible to imagine a worse, more infantile, unbelievable, patronizing film, replete with stereotyped Jews, struggling worshipful Muslims, unlikable characters, an impossible story, no setting whatsoever except the interior of 2 or 3 rooms, dull, predictable click clock pacing, a story-line that telegraphs all its moves, a theme that appeals to dreamy- eyed do-gooder clueless fantasists, a few clever Jewish jokes out of the 1950s, a nauseatingly 2-dimensional sex-starved, probably deodorant-soaked Jewish widow, a feel-good ending you could sense from the first minute, and a generally pandering quality that pervades every scene, act, line of dialogue, the musical soundtrack and the finalizing madcap idiocy that the director hopes will be acceptable as a substitute for action and guffaws. This travesty of comedy looks like it might've been a a term paper shot with dad's camera by a 10th grader studying film, and might've earned a C+ from a generous teacher nearing retirement. Reportedly, it was the only entry in the "Good Jews should be nice to bad Muslims" Film Festival that did not cause the judges to vomit up their pork sliders. All in all, I give it a Yucchh+
Room (2015)
It doesn't get any worse
It opens badly, but this is deceptive. If you watch carefully, are very, very patient, look at what's actually there, and give it three minutes-----it gets worse. But wait. This too is unfair. Are you actually seeing what's in front of your eyes? Are you sure? The film demands that you give it at least another ten minutes, and you do. And as soon as you do, it gets worse. After that it gets worse, and then worse, and worse, and worse. And it's only just begun. The setting hasn't even left the room. Then it does. Finally. Surprise! A goodly portion of the film, in fact, at least 30 percent, takes place outside the room. I have no idea why. To show that the outside world is just as claustrophobic? That would've been a good point, but the story doesn't allow it! The writer is adrift. The shift of scenery doesn't help. It makes Room even worse - and it gets worse yet, and even worse than that, despite the brief, welcome, charitable appearance of two superbly talented actors (William H. Macy and Joan Allen) who can actually act, whether they have a character to play or not. Acting, in fact, is not an issue in the movie. To be fair, the child star of the film, Jacob Tremblay (made deliberately genderless as only a 5-year-old could be) gives as execrable a performance as any adult ever has, and deserves a lot of credit for it. If the director intended it that way, he probably either has no children, or doesn't know or like any. It's not totally Tremblay's fault: he obviously found it impossible to believe in the story, as did the writer, director, actors and producers who concocted this infinitely boring, one-dimensional, unfelt drama. Here and there throughout the story, that sickly, treacly piano that has invaded the soundtrack of hundreds of anemic films like a skin rash makes an appearance. To top it off, Room is made with the highest of production values. They are the only values visible, and may lift the movie to the heights of Trumpian emptiness. Americans love nothing better in their movies: production values are the new family values. The overall impression is of a movie, clunkily directed by Lenny Abrahamson, written by someone (Emma Donoghue) whose entire experience of life must have been acquired in a room, probably a classroom, possibly a cloakroom, a writer unashamed to display her bad handwriting, and constitutionally unable or unwilling to share with the public how little she knows or cares about the world she inhabits. A lot has been written about the hell the cinematographers went through to make parts of this movie, jamming their equipment into a tiny cramped space for countless hours. It doesn't show, and what does is not interesting. If they'd shown us the hell, and not the Room they made of it, I'd have had a lot less to say but would've left with more than a craving for a quick burger on my mind.
Phoenix (2014)
Blehh
If only I could post a spoiler! It might relieve the endless boredom this inane film produces. It's one of those films that exists primarily in the mind of the filmmaker (or possible script writer), as it offers almost nothing to the viewer but close-ups of a glum, self-centered silent actress, a few rooms, a few painfully selected sets containing clothing, cars and artifacts from the 40s, tons of guilt, confusion, and a plot I didn't find believable from the get-go. Actually, the plot might be considered a spoiler if it wasn't enunciated over and over again, with almost no context given, and only the main character's - and her depressed best friend's - word for it. Or do you find the notion of living with someone with a reconstructed face (that supposedly looks exactly like her original one- though both of them need more work) for weeks, a woman who used to be your wife, and not knowing it, believable and just the perfectly ironic metaphorical twist for confronting the sad horror of identity-erasing war and the extermination of a now-faceless people? Why this film has been acclaimed, rewarded and taken seriously is beyond me but seems typical of the young German intellectual's need for obfuscating in the name of shame.
Irrational Man (2015)
Couldn't be worse
I hated this film, and Allen should be strung up by the balls for being allowed to make it. For one thing, it could discourage many young people from seeing some of his great films of decades ago. Every element of this one - the writing, the casting, the acting, the music track, the scene design, the overall production, is a disgrace - repetitive, boring, senile, tired, sexless, and pretentious. Never has Joachim Phoenix been worse. In fact, no actor shows the slightest interest or investment in their one- dimensional parts. They look and sound wooden. Clearly this film is an OCD exercise made by a bored and frightened old man with dwindling energy and imagination trying desperately to imitate and recapture his enthusiasms of 40-50 years ago. It's an insult to his fans. The ending is a major infantile cop-out. The horrific score consists of an endless repeat of a 60s anthem ("The In Crowd"). The discussions of "philosophy" repeat Allen's old shtick - including the same-old irrelevant boring names like Heidigger and Kant - he's used in the distant past. I'm surprised a long-bearded Chasidic Jew doesn't make an appearance somewhere in the soulless set. The story, issues, characters, setting (Newport, RI) have no resonance whatever in the present, and the clever "moral issue" was all covered infinitely better in "Crimes and Misdemeanors." A 13-year-old making a movie in the style of Woody Allen would be far more interesting. The world would be a better place if this film had never been made. It's a major embarrassment, like a wedgie or a fart in an elevator. Allen must be suffering from dementia.
Open Range (2003)
Pretty, unremarkable and almost pure cliché
Despite spectacular photography, a story that is potentially of interest to historians, and, unsurprisingly excellent acting from Duvall, the film is completely unremarkable. Costner's acting and directing is wooden, Bening might as well be serving wine in a Manhattan high-rise, the plot is actionless until an hour passes, the story is predictable, cliché-ridden, unbelievable, overlong, copies from 100 better westerns, shows no character development, is prudish, two-dimensional, populated by stereotypes, and derives its only action and interest from a long-prepared, bloody, painless endless vengeful, hypocritical gunfight, kind of 2-against-100, that turns out exactly as you expect and want it to. Costner's worst effort, evidence of a 2nd rate mind devoid of guts, depth and imagination.
Interstellar (2014)
Awful Beyond Imagining
I was bored and love science fiction movies, so I saw half of "Interstellar" - way too much of it. Since I expected nothing, I wasn't disappointed: that's what I got. Few friends probably planned to see it, so there was no point in telling them not to. It has not a single redeeming feature, and shamelessly copies many films and TV series - 2001, not the least of them. I've seen better sci-fi on 50s or 70s television. It's 100% cliché-ridden from the git-go - the characters, the story, the actors (no acting is necessary!), the "cinematography" (almost non-existent) the music, the locations, the sets, even the editing. What an embarrassment, an insult. It's a film worthy of this year's midterm elections, as it cynically abandons all pretense and respect for imagination, experience, science, detail, creativity, or humor. It is written and plays to the lowest level of intelligence - the entire film does nothing but fulfill expectations set in the first few minutes. You might as well listen to the movie as a podcast. Matt McConnaughey has never been so stereotypically bad. I hope it destroys a few careers. It should.
To the Wonder (2012)
It doesn't get any worse
Quite simply the worst film I've seen in 20 years. It is empty, repetitive, angry and cynical beyond description, without any feeling for its characters, for place (imagine portraying Paris, let alone soul-numbing oily suburban Oklahoma, as barren) for story, for acting, for love itself, or for viewers, a tired, self-indulgent cliché from start to finish. It's a shame that Malick's reputation and career will probably be ruined by this film. He once did good work. Virulent anti-Americanism, of the most clichéd and unobservant kind, abounds. Only Javier Bardem seems even vaguely human. Ben Affleck has never been more of a cipher (resembling Keir Dullea in 2001), and the pouty, one-dimensional sex object he hangs his loins on (Rachel McAdams) is an embarrassment to femininity. The first five minutes will tell you everything you need to know about the style and content of the film. It never changes or progresses. If you stay longer you need a life.
Silver Linings Playbook (2012)
Putrid adolescent garbage
One star because zero stars isn't an option, nor is a black hole icon. I should know better than to dis this film, as most films I hate only draw comments from idiots. But for the sheer pleasure of it, I'll say this: I hated the writing, the acting (especially deNiro, who has been doing this same role for at least ten years and has apparently abandoned the use of his talent, and his wife-character), the characters themselves, the directing, the cinematography, the casting, the scenic design and the overall conception - where a "silver lining" is imposed on the story rather than grows out of it. I didn't find a single scene emotionally believable, felt the script demeaned mental illness, thought the film pandered to blacks, sports, dancing-with-the-stars fans, Philly itself, endorsed gambling, rewarded incredible stupidity and risk-taking (deNiro's character is willing to throw away his entire family's future based on nothing other than an idiotic hunch by a sexpot) while the film pretends to endorse other "moral" life choices, thought the entire film depended on "cute" writing and cliché (where plot is a substitute for canned laughter), and that it was predictable after the first ten minutes. By the way, the audience I was with, maybe 50 people, didn't laugh that much. What's not to hate? Over many years I've learned that many people often think something is funny if someone else tells them it's supposed to be. I'm not one. Now go ahead and trash me if you like. But if I can keep one person from seeing it I'll have done my duty. And if one other IMDb reader has the guts to agree with me: brother, (or sister) - welcome to the real world!