tellstar Reviews

The Unheard (2023)

Works when it's going somewhere

[5/10 · 8 April 2023]

I liked the basic scientific/supernatural ideas offered here, and I would have found the film a lot more interesting if it stuck with and developed them. Why has this girl become attuned to otherworldly messages and how can electronic devices be used to monitor supernatural phenomena? That's good stuff. Unfortunately, the thriller aspect of the film is the least successful, and that becomes obvious as those elements begin to dominate the plot in the third act. If you can't figure out who's behind a series of murders in the area in just a few minutes, then you're a really bad judge of character.

Among the Living (2022)

Why did they want to make this film?

[3/10 · 23 October 2022]

While watching a decidedly low-budget film, I often ask myself why the filmmaker's chose to devote time and money to making it. Was the story so compelling to them that they felt it must be told? Did they believe they'd make a killer sale to Netflix? Or did they receive a government grant that needed to be spent?

It's hard to say what motivated the team behind this film to undertake this talky, static production that barely qualifies as a zombie entry. It features an ineffectual and deceitful sod wandering around the countryside supposedly looking after his sister as he tries to find their father. Along the way they meet some other folks, have long conversations, drink beer - or get smacked about.

You meet a few "infected", but this is mostly a film about hiking and camping, punctuated by gabby intermissions and the main character - the author of his own misfortune - weeping at his self-inflicted fate.

With surprisingly few edits, this could be sold as stock footage of the English countryside.

Project Legion (2022)

Demonic invasion my ass

[3/10 · 15 October 2022]

Non-actor Don Cerrone tries so hard to fill the shoes of the main character, you may actually find yourself rooting for him to pull it off - just to suspend the misery. Most of the film features Cerrone stomping around an apartment unit and mumbling to himself during a demonic invasion. He breaks some furniture, fights a couple of people in demon suits and hides in a trash bin. When you think this can't get any more absurd, he dons a sombrero and starts pasting duct tape across his window for protection, while threadbare sets waver and wobble. There's also a painfully mawkish love scene and a "surprise" ending. It's strangely watchable if you're in the right mood - half asleep perhaps - and can get into the groove, which is why I give this ***.

Painted in Blood (2022)

Honest genre effort

[6/10 · 6 October 2022]

Everybody does a decent job in this story of a working-class artist caught up with a supernatural entity who elevates his artwork - at a terrible price. It's not riveting, but certainly watchable. Somebody really stretched a very low budget to make something decent.

Actors are sincere, and I found it interesting to see that the employers in the film - for once - weren't depicted as typical a-holes.

I also appreciated that the film didn't telegraph a likely outcome early in the story. Too often, the protagonist in a film such as this winds up killing someone a half-hour into the proceedings and you know things won't really end well.

House of Darkness (2022)

Surprise... there is no surprise!

[5/10 · 16 September 2022]

The actors give this their all, but really this is just a slow and predictable ride to a dull payoff. Starts off fine with some fun interplay and dialogue between Long and Bosworth. Becomes less interesting as more characters are introduced. Within 20 minutes, I suppose that there may be 6 or 7 people in the world who don't understand that this doofus is spending the night with vampires. If you're not getting it after the characters identify themselves by name, you're just not into vampire movies. Because I liked the actors well enough, I was willing to finish this in the hopes of a twist ending...

Well.. NO!

You Might Get Lost (2021)

Passable low-budget fare, nasty characters

[4/10 · 25 July 2022]

This is an OK time waster, which doesn't spend much time on the mechanics of time travel or the reason that the "Endeavour Institute" provides such a service at all.

Most of the characters seem to be irresponsible, or nasty sorts, including the protagonist who is clearly the author of her own misfortunes. It's truly difficult to feel much empathy for a person as solipsistic as this. Once she strangles a dog to death, late in the film, it makes it easy to root against her.

3 Demons (2022)

Well acted and disquieting

[6/10 · 14 July 2022]

One of the better low-budget horror efforts I've seen recently, with competent actors selling the story. Don't worry too much about the plot - this is more of a mood piece that aims to create a surreal and illogical atmosphere of unease. If you demand detailed explanations, this is not the film for you.

Offseason (2021)

An interesting journey to a predictable destination

[6/10 · 15 March 2022]

I'm the type of viewer who doesn't mind seeing people walking around, investigating an interesting setting for long stretches of time. If you like to see a film with regularly-marked story beats and linear progression, this one ain't for you.

Really enjoyed the efforts to create atmosphere in thick layers, especially some earlier scenes in an ocean-side grove. At times I could sense a Lucio Fulci vibe, which the director effectively channeled. Actors are all working hard and do a good job.

It's all very watchable, but the conclusion holds no real surprises. The film runs fairly short, and left me with a curious feeling - even if it ultimately goes nowhere, I wanted an enjoyable ride to last a little longer.

The Darkness Outside (2022)

Sincere effort hampered by plodding script

[3/10 · 8 March 2022]

Clearly the writer and the performers are trying to convey a lot of deep feeling here, but there's no real spark. The story moves like molasses for an unsupportable length of just shy of two hours. There are a few bright spots that are almost interesting, but they're swallowed up by an opaque plot and a lot of rambling dialogue that required the services of an objective editor.

6:45 (2021)

Dull, predictable, derivative

[3/10 · 27 February 2022]

It's a half-hour Twilight Zone episode dragged out to 90 minutes. The plot has been recycled, you won't be surprised by the ending, and you've seen it done better before. There should be a special hell reserved for people who give these mediocre efforts pumped up ratings to mislead viewers.

The Jack in the Box: Awakening (2022)

Plop goes the weasel

[4/10 · 25 January 2022]

This threadbare film plays out like a synopsis for a better movie. The cast seems game, but the movie never fires on all cylinders. Even the title Jack in the Box is a prop that looks cheaply thrown together. Deaths are timed like clockwork but generate little interest as Jack just runs after people and then claws them to death. After the first kill, the film repeats itself in cycles until it plods to an obvious end. OK to leave on while you're doing something else, but not as the focus of a night's entertainment.

The Free Fall (2021)

Hoping for more from the Triangle guy!

[4/10 · 18 January 2022]

The cast is game, but this is a tedious, threadbare story that you've seen so many times before. Because it's so familiar, you wait for a twist that will justify your patience. A twist comes, but it isn't worth waiting for and the available clues are largely red herrings.

Lots of plot holes and inconsistencies. For example, if the main character is experiencing a delusion, the camera should not be able to reveal a plot point of which this person is unaware.

Some of the reviewers think this is about the role of men in destructive relationships. Sure, if the men are actual demons from Hell, which is the case here.

The Legend of La Llorona (2022)

You'll be the one crying after 20 minutes of this claptrap

[3/10 · 14 January 2022]

Bottom-of-the-barrel retelling of the Mexican legend of La Llorona. Everyone seems to be dialing their performances in, but it's doubtful the director was helping them along. La Llorona appears onscreen with all the dynamism of a reject from a cosplay event. More of an ill-tempered corporeal fruitcake than a ghost, she repeatedly kidnaps a child and the family keeps retrieving him - only to leave him alone again so the ghost can give it another go.

This film teaches us that nightfall looks a lot like someone placing a blue lens on the camera. We also learn that a great way to defend yourself from ghosts is to blast them with a shotgun.

Who's crying now? Anyone who makes it through this plodding mess to the credits.

Multiverse (II) (2019)

Passable time filler

[5/10 · 17 November 2021]

If you don't expect much clarity about the laws of the multiverse, this is not a bad film. The young cast works hard in their roles and some of the ideas are intriguing enough - but the multiverse is a pretty random place and you'll find yourself scratching your head much of the time. I appreciated that the film goes the extra mile of using deaf actors to play the roles of deaf characters and pulls off one neat trick with a voice-over assist.

Double Walker (2021)

Moody, thoughtful ghost pic

[7/10 · 15 November 2021]

Intriguing supernatural story that follows a ghost who is offered a chance to settle some scores. Strong performances and cinematography underpin frequent jaunts through time and space, and a big nod to A Christmas Carol. The story provides no easy answers, as we're not even sure the Ghost is a reliable narrator. However, I don't believe the filmmakers are being deliberately obtuse here - too many rationalize lazy storytelling as artful. In this case, they're simply asking you to pay close attention before drawing your own conclusions.

Needle in a Timestack (2021)

Bloodless time travel romance

[4/10 · 17 October 2021]

As other reviewers have noted, this film is more about relationships than it is about time travel. With love as the central theme of the film, it's strangely and pervasively bloodless. We're instructed by music cues how we should feel about these characters, but they never generate their own spark. These people make a lot of money doing who-knows-what, with endless opportunities to spend disposable income. They live in spare, minimalist surroundings and speak entirely in cliché. They care or don't care about each other on cue, to serve the narrative.

The aspects of time travel were interesting, but not reasonable. If any trip into the past allows for time ripples to obviously and thoroughly alter and destroy other people's lives, it's hard to believe time travel services would operate freely and publicly, with just a signature on paper binding them not to mess things up.

Paradox Lost (2021)

Fun film for light viewing

[6/10 · 10 October 2021]

The actors work hard in this sweet-natured film about time travel and time paradoxes. What I enjoy about titles like this is that they include inventive ideas that would never have made it into larger-budgeted productions - like the "cake test" for determining whether a time paradox has occurred. Don't worry so much about internal time travel logic - this film is more about human relationships.

Would have bumped it to 6.5, if that rating was available.

A Spark in Nothing (2021)

Surprisingly engaging (but overlong) film

[7/10 · 28 September 2021]

I wasn't sure what to expect here, with little introduction to this title. As it turns out this is a surprisingly ambitious piece of filmmaking that almost chews what it bites off. At two-and-a-half hours it's much longer than it needs to be, but it delivers a carload of interesting ideas (perhaps a few too many), sincere performances by likeable actors and effective moments. Nice filmwork and score.

I'm not usually the first reviewer of any particular film, so I want to stress that this is a real review by an independent party - not one of those hopeless first responders who knows somebody involved with the production.

Armageddon Tales (2021)

One good monster, threadbare Armageddon

[3/10 · 4 March 2021]

Apparently, following Armageddon we all find large industrial buildings to haunt... or stick to open fields. This is a pretty cheap looking Armageddon, and, short of minor interest in the first segment, the rest of the film is slow going. Notable for one Canadian segment where a polite intruder begs for water, obediently drops her gun when challenged - and then gets some water. If this had been filmed elsewhere, there would have been three people dead and a fourth exsanguinating. If you're working late at night, it's all passable enough to watch out of the corner of your eye without too much distraction.

The Lost Vlog of Ruby Real (2020)

Vlog should remain lost

[1/10 · 8 November 2020]

I'll give them a point for chutzpah! Three amateur actors play vloggers who investigate a mysterious tree that sends them into alternate dimensions when they march around it. Most of the film features the characters pissing and moaning as they get separated running clockwise and counterclockwise around the featured tree. Occasionally, the video goes multi-colored indicating that something interesting might be coming - but it doesn't. A single rental should cover the film's apparent budget.

Time Loop (2019)

Go back in time to fix the script

[2/10 · 11 September 2020]

I'm willing to meet any film about time travel halfway, but that's too much goodwill for this worn out tire of a film. No new ideas, and a storyline that quickly wears out its welcome. Lead actor Sam Gittins is OK, but the rest of the cast is painfully wooden, delivering lines with accents that make the dialog difficult to understand. It's interesting to see that aerial drone footage is now so inexpensive that it's become a hallmark of low-budget efforts like this, which use it as cheap filler.

Will Reading (2020)

Ouch!

[2/10 · 8 September 2020]

Some game actors negotiate an unpolished script for a film that looks like it was shot on an iPhone. Static direction, and some vicious green screen effects. Not worth waiting for the big reveal. I was curious about why this film was made, so visited the web site listed here - tried to force me to download some malware.

The Unfamiliar (2020)

Builds an exceptional air of disquiet

[6/10 · 30 August 2020]

Some of the plot elements are familiar, but I credit the filmmakers with creating an exceptional atmosphere of brooding malevolence. Some reviewers here have called the film "dull" but I disagree. It's methodical in its presentation and quite enough happens to liven things up. The cast also works exceptionally hard.

Robot Riot (2020)

Better than you might expect

[5/10 · 24 August 2020]

No SF gold in them thar hills, but the robots look pretty good, despite their inability to hit the broad side of a barn with rapid-fire machine gun volleys. No surprises, but no boredom either. Actors were working hard, too. The type of movie that you can enjoyably leave on while you work at something else.

A Wreck Without You (2019)

Really weak stuff

[3/10 · 27 June 2020]

I have no doubt that everybody involved with this film was very sincere, but it really screams "student project." A lot of very flat dialogue, mixed bag of actors, meandering plot, and inappropriately loud music levels add up to an irritating viewing experience.

Viewers need to ask themselves one question posed early in the film: "Is the main character in hell?" If he is, then not much that happens matters, particularly minor scenes involving other characters that do not involve the protagonist.

I wanted to like it, but can't recommend.