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The Walking Dead: Splinter (2021)
Absolutely the most ridiculous episode ever
So Princess dreams and the producers make it look as if it's real. But it isn't. So they are basically playing a joke on the viewers, tricking them into thinking something is real... but it isn't.
Absolute garbage and annoying.
Orphan (2009)
Greatly Annoyingly Stupid Film
No actual person could act like these idiots in this film. Well done script writers and producers for making a ridiculously impossible group of characters in a stupid story line into a ridiculous film.
Don't both watching this garbage.
The Company You Keep (2012)
Superb
I can't believe I haven't seen this before now.
The only thing I would have changed at the end was a family meeting of the father, two daughters and the reporter.
Attack of the Unknown (2020)
Absolute Garbage - But Not in a Nice Way
What really p1sses me off, is that my Cable TV provider actually charges me money to watch this crap.
And why is the guy with the black tattoos all over his neck always in these crap films?
Air (2015)
Preferred Wayward Pines and The Walking Dead
Djimon Hounsou was so much better in Wayward Pines. He also had visions of dead people in the series too.
Norman Reedus mumbles his way through this film slightly more clearly than he does The Walking Dead.
I wonder how much elocution lessons would cost Norman? And a haircut.
I suppose he hasn't had much work since the virus stopped shooting of more Walking Dead episodes.
This appears to have been filmed below decks in an old boat.
Anyway, the story is pretty awful, and the direction, and the script and the plot - can't remember if there was one - and the actors really should have turned this one down.
First Reformed (2017)
Sick, Climate Crisis Garbage
OK, I watched only the first few minutes and got so annoyed by the ridiculous end-of-the-world garbage that I turned it off. Some people obviously like to hear this nonsense. I don't. Perhaps Greta Thunberg should add it to her list of favourite films, along with Waterworld, 2012, The Day After Tomorrow, The Day The Earth Caught Fire, Geostorm and Interstellar.
All Doom and Gloom. All garbage. Nice computer graphics though.
Timeless (2016)
Oh no! Not Matt Frewer. Oh the humanity.
I've watched the first 5 minutes only, so I'll update this later.
But I can't stand Matt Frewer. Can he actually play a character other than Max Headroom?
And at the very beginning, the actor who says the immortal words "Oh, the humanity!"... did he ever listen to the original reporter saying those words? Because, dear actor, your rendition of those words was pathetic.
And why didn't the director make you say them again with a bit of feeling? Maybe the director hadn't heard the original heart-felt words either.
I hope this series gets better. It can't get much worse.
Mind Blown (2016)
Z Movie
So bad it's funny. Such bad wannabe actors and actresses. (Oops, is it OK to call female actors "actresses"? I'm old school).
Here's a laugh: I only came here because it was so bad and, before I saw the rating, I said "I bet this is a 3". Ha, ha. and it was.
Excuse me while I change channel. Ah, that's better - snooker is on.
Now, where was I? Oh yes, this pile of nonsense. Just don't bother with it.
Swamp Thing (2019)
Can't Be Bothered Any More
Rating of 7.6? What is wrong with you people? And all those reviews that are 9's and 10's? Good grief, you must be starved of decent TV.
The pilot was good. The next episode went downhill fast. Now it is just a joke.
Not even worth a rating of 3.
Wasted oppotunity.
Rampage (2018)
So Funny In Places
It also has Negan in it! The guy from The Walking Dead! And he even acts like and talks like Negan.
But what made me laugh out loud was when the giant wolf jumped up and brought down the helicopter. So unexpected (phhttt).
Just too funny.
I suppose I should watch more of it, but there's something much better on another channel.
Grand Isle (2019)
Please Don't Laugh At The End
Two points:
1. You are better than this, Cage. Please choose your films more wisely. You are getting as bad as Bruce (Sucking my cheeks in so my face doesn't look fat) Willis.
2. Is it bad to burst out laughing at the end when Walter gets shot full of bullets by the police? Sorry, but I did.
Color Out of Space (2019)
Annoying and Ridiculous
What is wrong with Nicolas Cage? Is he trying to ruin his career by appearing in third rate movies?
The trouble is, I assume whenever I see he's in a new film that it will be a good movie, and not a load of sci-fi nonsense like this .
Come on, Cage, don't go down this path just for the money. Have some self-respect.
Trauma Center (2019)
Note to self: Avoid films if Bruce is the only "star"
I hope Bruce got paid a lot for this nonsense.
Fancy building up a great reputation and then letting it all go for a film like this.
I should've realised when I saw he was the only name I recognised that this film was a turkey.
Ah, well.
Lady in the Water (2006)
This Is "The Village", part 2
Same lead actress, Bryce Dallas Howard, same weird creature, just two years later and he comes up with this version of the same idea.
The "Village" was actually much better. There were characters you could identify with. But Paul Giamatti? Really? After all the hard-nosed capitalist Wall Street types he's known for? We have to have some empathy with him? Nah. Was never going to work.
Poor Bryce should have been given many more lines. She's good, but not used to her best in this film.
And don't make us accept silly ideas like the batteries running out in the walkie-talkies! That's about as bad as a long truck pulling out in the middle of a car chase and blocking the pursuers. Too silly. Cheap trick.
Come on, M. Night - you can do better than this. I hope.
Interstellar (2014)
Missed Opportunity
Why, oh why, did they pick the mumbling, bumbling, whispering, incomprehensible Mathew McConaughey for this part? Did't they have a speech coach, sound engineer or SOMEONE that could turn his ridiculous inaudible mumblings into actual understandable English?
Thank God the music was great, the story was great and CGI was great.
Maybe one day - in 20 years or so - someone will remake this with a lead actor who doesn't try to talk with a ridiculous unintelligible accent.
Or re-issue this one with subtitles.
Such a shame.
Feel the Dead (2017)
Worst Series Ever
I suppose any series with the word "The Dead" in the title might be enough for a cable TV provider to decide to buy it. I can't think of any other reason why they would show this rubbish, other than it is incredibly cheap and saves them money.
The "Awards" mentioned on the front page must be a joke. There is even an acting award! That is hilarious. If there was an Oscar for the worst acting, the worst script, the worst direction, the worst editing and the worst plot, this would be the outright winner.
In fact, it is so bad you have to watch just to see if it gets any worse. And it does.
Death Kiss (2018)
Total Garbage
Garbage like this ought to be banned. It is a complete waste of time with pathetic acting and gratiutous violence.
Clearly the "reviewer" called gregorpatterson is a paid promoter of the film. No one with any sense of history of films or cinema could call this anything but garbage.
To say "Robert Kovacs" is the spitting image of Charles Broson" is just laughable.
This is not a "MUST" for fans of quality vigilate films. This is a "throw it in the bin" film.
Jurassic Galaxy (2018)
How are they allowed to pretend this is a "Jurassic" film?
Surely the makers of the real Jurassic series films can sue these charlatans for producing such utter garbage as this film, which a lot of people will assume is another in the "Jurassic" series?
After 5 minutes, I came to IMDB thinking "2.2". To my surprise it was at "2.3", currently, anyway. Maybe it will sink lower soon.
As another reviewer said, this is probably the worst film I have ever seen.
It's one of those films where you hope and pray that the wild creatures eat up all the humans and continue their existence in peace.
The Lucky One (2012)
Zac Efron has made other films. Really!
To quote one of the first reviews of this film:
"Zac Efron is obviously a good looking bloke, but his acting here is far too wooden."
Wooden? More like a lump of lead. I cannot recall him in any other film. Maybe because they were all failures. I can't believe how many other films he has been in. His acting was appalling - emotionless voice, bland-faced... even Roger Moore would look out of control next to this guy.
Just think how much better it would have been with another actor in the lead role.
Such a shame.
I still liked the film very much, but his acting... dear, oh dear.
Reprisal (2018)
This was painful to watch (2)
Oops, I came here to say how pathetic this film is, only to find I've already been here and done that:
"I presume Bruce Willis has decided to take the money and run. This is the second film he's "starred" in recently that has been absolute garbage.
This film was more hilarious than painful, to be honest. It was also quite annoying in that the other main character - apart from Willis - was the spitting image of the bad guy, so you couldn't really tell what the heck was going on."
Bad Samaritan (2018)
What a pity
If only they'd made the ending a bit more believable.
If only the FBI hadn't screeched to a halt at the gate with some idiot saying "private property we need a search warrant" while people were about to be murdered inside.
If only the good guy had looked behind him to see the bad guy creeping up on him about to smash him on the head.
If only the bad guy hadn't managed to shoot the shovel (a ridiculous shot) as it was about to whack him on the head.
If only. But too late. Instead of being a riveting drama, it turned into a comedy. What a pity.
The Purge: Election Year (2016)
How Come The First Review Is Always A Good One?
It's not until you scroll down the reviews that you actually find one that's close to the average - i.e. a 1, 2 or 3.
Anybody would think that IMDB were promoters of the films they list.
This one has so many plot holes I can't be bothered.
Now changing channels. Bye.
Unstoppable (2010)
Big Spoiler Here - DO NOT READ!
There's just one massive problem with this film.
Actually, there are two.
1. After one guy dies after not getting on to the train using a rope from a helicopter, why don't they try it again.
2. At the end, a guy jumps from a pickup onto the train's engine compartment and stops it. Why the hell didn't they do that first?
Lots of action, lots of fun, but stupid plot holes.
Mad World (2018)
After 2 Minutes I had To Check The Rating on IMDB
Just one pathetic scene was all it took for me to think:
"I'd better check the rating on IMDB in case I'm just wasting my time hoping that this will get better".
Ha ha ha ha. Rating of 2.2!
And it didn't get any better.
So only about 10 minutes wasted. Thanks IMDB reviewers.
The Transporter Refueled (2015)
The Brits Return
So the old Brit star got replaced by a new Brit star.
But at least Statham got his teeth fixed.
Wish I had more to say about it really. Nice looking females.
-drumming fingers-
-whistling-
I suppose I could change channels and see the ending.
Nah, an old re-run of Friends sounds better.