Change Your Image
VapeJuiceDude
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Reviews
Downsizing (2017)
Proof Hollywood has an agenda apart from making money.
So what have I just witnessed?
I've just watched about six different movie genres poorly stitched together like some celluloid version of Frankenstein's monster.
I'm watching a comedy...no I'm not I'm watching a satire....wait, it's a drama...or is it a social commentary?....actually now it's an environmental awareness propaganda piece.
What have you done Alexander Payne. How can someone who directed movies like Sideways and Nebraska then create such a rambling, shambolic, unstructured mess as Downsizing?
It's a deplorable, ill-conceived disaster of a movie which wastes the talents of a whole host of ably talented comedic actors, sacrificing them on the altar of political correctness.
If you are so concerned with "saving the planet" then why waste so much time, money and energy producing garbage?
Why not instead use the sixty million or so it cost to make this movie to buy a yacht for some sixteen year old so she can sail the world and lecture us? ...
....oh wait, she has one already!
The Incredible Jessica James (2017)
A propaganda piece for our times...
Jessica the main character has been dumped by her boyfriend (although as the movie progresses it becomes unclear as to who actually dumped who?), and takes comfort in teaching young kids about playwriting.
But here's the thing...
This movie is all about promoting the whole self-absorbed, self-gratifying, self-focused attitude of the me, me generation. Everything and everyone should revolve around the ME.
But those children she takes comfort in working with wouldn't exist if everyone were to adopt that self-absorbed stance.
When children arrive on the scene, ME must be parked at the door.
ME must take a back seat and your time and dedication and love must be focused towards THEM. This is the only way it can work.
So a lie is being sold to the younger generation through movies like this.
If it's always going to be about the ME, then it can never be about the US, get it?
Apart from the 'message' being promoted, this movie fails on so many other levels.
Every scene involving the kids (and there are quite a few) is cringe-worthy. It's like as if the writer had no real experience of children, because they're not like real kids and more like a caricature of what they expect kids should be like.
Her 'best friend' is also a self-gratifying caricature of a ME person, totally lacking any depth of personality. The only redeeming aspect of this movie are a couple of scenes she has with Chris O'Dowd, but even these are hampered by poor dialogue.
A couple of nights before watching this abomination I saw another movie about relationships.
"Blue Jay" is the polar opposite of this movie, a superbly acted, scripted and executed little gem, which basically consists of two people talking over an afternoon/evening. But Blue Jay is about people and not about the agenda, so probably wouldn't even register with the victims of the ME generation who have given up on rational thought.
Fargo (2014)
Season 3: A complete hotch-potch of garbage ..CONTAINS SPOILERS!
I thoroughly enjoyed both seasons 1 and 2 but season 3 is a mess.
SPOILER ALERT *******
The whole idea of a series is that the parts eventually fit together to form a whole. This bit seems to have been omitted entirely in season 3.
S3 Episode 3 was all about the sci-fi books, We had a flashback to how the young author was scammed, we had a cartoon representation of book, we had officer Burgle flying to LA to investigate/interview. And then, nothing because the books had zilch to do with the plot?
I mean, 1/10th of the series had nothing to do with the plot?? Yep!
Then we had the Russian baddie Yuri Gurka, remember him?
After spending days relentlessly hunting down Nikki Swango, he goes into a bowling alley, is chatted to by a random guy (supposedly a homage to the cowboy in the Big Lebouski??) who tells him a story about 17th century Jews..and he disappears from the series, just like that???
Or, how about the scene where Emmet Stussy's car breaks down, Swango arrives and confronts him, she's involved in a shoot out with police and Stussy makes his escape. Except..he makes his getaway in the very same car which had broken down two minutes earlier!!!
Then there were the subliminal messages put there for no reason other than to demonise Russia notice them?
As in the story about Jews being killed by Russians in the 1700's.
Or the prominent picture of Lenin on display each time Varga was working on his computer (and why would a globalist, capitalist have a picture of a communist leader on his wall?)
There were some good performances from the lead actors but otherwise the storyline was totally banal, and not in a good way.
I have no inclination to search out season 4, if it ever comes out.
An abject lesson in how to ruin a good series.
Detectorists (2014)
Ordinary People, Extraordinary series
Watching this is like watching University Challenge on a night when you know all the answers! (viewers of the series will know what I mean)
Reviewers have already mentioned the superb script, the great cast, the beautiful cinematography, but for me the crowning glory is how Mackenzie Crook blended the whole thing together creating what was obviously a labour of love for him.
It's choc full of quirky, zany characters, my particular favourites being Bishop, Russell and Sheila, but then again it seems a bit unfair to have favourites when they're all superb.
Of course at the core of the series is the brilliant Toby Jones, and obviously Mackenzie Crook (who did everything in creating this series except perhaps make the tea, although I wouldn't be surprised if he did that too!)
I hadn't seen this series when it initially aired, but bought the three series & Christmas special box set on the strength of reviews.
Having watched the entire box set in a matter days, a strange feeling enveloped me on it's completion, almost as if I had lost some good friends.
Two weeks after obtaining the box set, I'm already on my third viewing, each time unearthing hidden gems I had overlooked on previous visits.
That's the type of series it is, it takes you on a journey with these ordinary people and allows you to be part of their extraordinary adventure.
Lilyhammer (2012)
And I really wanted to like this..
I'm a fan of Steve Van Zandt, both from his appearances in The Sopranos and from his years with the E Street Band. The premise of the series was good too, an ex-Mafioso on witness protection in the wilds of Norway attempting to navigate the countries PC culture and build a not-too-honest future.
This whole fish-out-of-water concept had the makings of a sort of Sopranos/Fargo hybrid. All good so far, right?
Unfortunately, a good series needs a good concept, writing, acting and execution.
Lilyhammer has the concept but everything else is missing.
The storyline quit frankly is ludicrous. Everything just happens through a series of unbelievable coincidences. I could list a dozen or more totally implausible occurrences in the first few episodes alone, but don't want to introduce spoilers.
And as for the love interest...When the series was first aired in 2012, Steve Van Zandt was 62 and Marian Saastad Ottesen was 36. Can you really believe a Norwegian blonde would fall far a man who's shorter than her and 26 years older?
Regarding the acting, I know that most of the supporting cast had to contend with playing characters that were essentially wooden caricatures with no depth, but still.. quite a lot of the acting was pretty amateurish unfortunately.
And that includes you Steve. Mafia tough guy seems to be the beginning and end of your acting skills, with no subtlety or variation to the hunched shoulders and knowing nods, a bit like "mafia guy by numbers" acting.
The execution was pretty poor too. I have no problem with subtitled movies, but found the constant chopping between spoken English and subtitles jarring and confusing. Quite a bit of the dialogue was switching between languages mid-sentence, resulting in not knowing whether to listen, look or both. For me it simply didn't work.
Also, the cuts between scenes didn't work for me either, appearing haphazard with little thought or consideration of transition.
As I said at the beginning, I really wanted to like this series.
Unfortunately for me it fell short on so many levels, and most especially on not having a coherent or plausible storyline, that I can only rate it two stars, both of which I'm essentially awarding for the concept.
Apart from that I'd consign the series to "sleeping with the fishes" as they say in the Mafia.
Enough Said (2013)
Typical Hollywood 'Touchy-feely' fare...
What is it about American movies? Ten minutes into this movie, I knew it was directed by a woman. Female directors of Hollywood comedy/dramas don't seem to understand that if this is your target audience, it should by definition contain some semblance of both comedy and drama maybe?
A one and a half hour movie should contain more than purely the 'emotions' of the characters involved. Things like an interesting story-line maybe, or snappy dialogue, quirky characters or a sub-plot? There were maybe three lines of dialogue in this movie which could be classed as mildly humorous, and ditto for the 'drama' content. The rest was just fluff.
Toni Collette is a very watchable actress as evidenced in movies like 'About a Boy' and 'Little Miss Sunshine', but here she struggled like the rest of the cast. A dialogue driven movie should have good dialogue....and yes I do recognise good dialogue...from 'His Girl Friday' to 'The Sunshine Boys' to 'Sideways' and many more.
James Gandolfini is the only reason I'd give this movie more than a three. In spite of the story-line and script, he manages to transcend those limitations to create a character of warmth and vulnerability.
Another reviewer waxed lyrical about this being a fitting end to James Gandolfini's career.....They're wrong because it wasn't this touchy-feely mess thankfully! His last movie was 'The Drop', an excellent movie and a fitting finale to a fine actor.
In Bruges (2008)
If a gun were put to my head....
...this would be my number one movie. I know, I know...how can you choose one movie above all others? Yes, it's difficult to pick a favorite from each genre even, let alone mix and match genre's an pick an ultimate winner from the whole pile.
But I did say "if a gun were put to my head".. and a gun could be put to my head.. anytime, anywhere, sitting on a park bench in a children's playground even?
Of all the movies I've seen (and I've seen lots in 50 plus years), this is the leanest. No fleshing out, no padding, every frame has a purpose, every word uttered has a meaning. I've viewed quite a few of my favorite movies more than once, and on repeated viewings there's always a scene or a line of dialogue I notice which could have been better, or omitted even. But not here, and I've seen this movie A LOT!
I've read a review where the reviewer accuses the movie of being homophobic? RUBBISH! This movie treats everyone equally...Everyone get's hammered. Irish, English, Belgian, Dutch, American, Canadian, Homosexuals, Prostitutes, Hit-men, Midgets....EVERYONE! And if you treat everyone equally how can you be accused of being biased?
Gleeson is perfection as always (could he be otherwise?), ditto Fiennes, but the one who pulled out all the stops and was brilliant throughout was Colin Farrell. I simply didn't think he had a performance as good as this in him... I was wrong.
When I saw this movie initially, I thought to myself "Martin McDonagh, you're in deep s**t". I mean, how can he follow that up? Whatever comes next is bound to be inferior. And I was proved right.
He should have just packed his bags, found a cave somewhere and became a hermit, because following In Bruges was going to prove impossible. Funnily enough, his brother had the same problem, following on from the excellent (but not in this league!) "The Guard" with that horrific mess that was "Calvary". So why is that? That "2nd album" syndrome? I have a theory... it's time. On the first film, they have loads of time.. time to write, rewrite, check and re-check, add bits, throw out bits over months, maybe years, until it's perfect (in their eyes at least). But then it comes out, and... and another idea has to be found, and a script, and the studio is putting pressure on, so corners are cut, and scripts aren't redrafted as they needed to be, and ..... and that's my theory anyway.
But that's beside the point. This film is a cinematic masterpiece. If you haven't seen it...you just gotta! (unless you happen to be a gay, midget hit-man from Belgium of Irish/American and English/Canadian parentage.. then there's a chance you may be offended)
Greenberg (2010)
OMG, I died a thousand deaths watching this..
First off let me set the record straight.
I have no problem with this genre of movie, and I much prefer a movie to be dialogue driven rather than hi-octane fast cars driven, if you get my drift. I loved Nebraska, Sideways, Safety Not Guaranteed etc. so I'm partial to a bit of clever, whimsical dialogue. In fact, the film I saw before this was Last Chance Harvey, and before that, The Grand Seduction, both entirely dialogue driven and both of which I enjoyed.
Neither have I a problem with Ben Stiller. Yes I liked There's Something About Mary and The Heartbreak Kid, but enjoyed even more his change of direction for the excellent The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. Another reviewer pointed out that Ben Stiller's departure from the norm in this movie was similar to Adam Sandler's in Punch Drunk Love. No it wasn't. Punch Drunk Love was a quirky, jarring movie which was enjoyable.
Greenberg is vapid, pretentious, and a stinker. The dialogue is terrible, the contrived situations are embarrassing, the story-line must have been written on the back of a matchbox, the acting is poor. In fact, to me the actors actually look embarrassed by the script, and have a look in their eyes that's saying "what the hell have I got myself into, and how will this affect my career".
Is the movie that bad? No, it's actually worse, a lot worse.
Before finishing this review I looked up the director. Noah Baumbach... never heard of him. So I said to myself, how did someone who oversaw such pretentious rubbish ever come to get a job directing films? Then I noticed that mummy and daddy are both film critics...ah, so now I know. Somehow that old adage "It's not what you know, but who you know" springs to mind.
If you respect your brain cells, and appreciate the fact that 90 minutes of your time is actually a valuable asset, then give this movie a wide berth. You have been warned.
Hector and the Search for Happiness (2014)
Walter Mitty wannabe without the intelligence...
I endured this movie for maybe thirty minutes, until finally deciding that ultimately, life is too short to continue with the likes of this mess. First off, this is a blatant rip-off of "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty", even down to the diary and the on-screen scribbles. A reserved, slightly sad individual who goes on a journey, finding himself and discovering life-affirming lessons along the way. We see Hector walking through the snow-covered Himalayan mountains.. have I seen that scene before somewhere? Walter Mitty found himself in a third-world bus with chickens, Hector finds himself in a third-world plane, with chickens...hmmm.
Sound familiar? But "Walter Mitty" was humorous, poignant, and above all, had a background story regarding what made him set off on his reluctant journey which actually made sense. This movie smacks of writers thinking "wouldn't it be funny if..." and then then just cobbling a "story" around the (supposedly) funny or uplifting or (so-called) poignant scenes. Here's a couple of examples, observed in the first thirty minutes, that demonstrate the lack of thought put into this script. Hector goes in search of happiness, so he heads off to China. Why? I mean, why China? What possible reason does he have for thinking China is going to answer any of his questions? So he heads to Hong Kong, one of the most densely populated cities in the world.. with a back pack, tin mugs jangling and a silly jungle hat! There he befriends a rich businessman, who brings him to a nightclub, throwing money around, and then he's shocked to discover the beautiful Chinese girl half his age who's slept with him the night before is actually...gasp! a prostitute? Wow! (Oh yeah, and he puts an entry in his 'Walter Mitty' diary that maybe the secret to happiness is loving more than one woman, complete with drawing...er, is this not the diary his wife gave him as a gift, and maybe she might want to read it on his return, and, that mightn't go down too well maybe?) So then it's off to the Himalayan mountains, where he meets some monks, and discovers that the wind blowing through some coloured rags apparently makes the monks ecstatic, causing them to dance around in the billowing cloths. Well it obviously doesn't take much to make these guys happy then, because I'd imagine that up there in the Himalayan mountains, the wind must blow every other day at least...
If you're looking for a movie that just has some 'things' randomly happening which aren't really tied together in a cohesive way, then by all means park your brain in the lobby of the cinema (or in your kitchen for home viewing) and blankly watch it all go by before your eyes. But if you're looking for a movie which is well thought out, and you actually like engaging your brain while viewing... then avoid! Walter Mitty was class, this unashamed wannabe clone is crass!