michael-561-692892 Reviews

Downey's Dream Cars (2023– )

Dude flies in on helicopters

[3/10 · 27 July 2023]

The hypocrisy of this show is just mind boggling. You've got an ACTOR that has been known for his extravagance throughout his life... trumpeting green energy and conservation by manipulating older cars into either 4banger engines or fully electric nonsense.

The opening of the show has Robert flying in a military chopper that probably burned more fuel than most Americans use in a month to get to their retail and office jobs. OkAy, I'll jUsT cHaNge My LiFe to suite your requirements.

Y'all know the guy also flies private jets, has large houses all over the country, purchases more than he needs and does all of the above more than you will ever do in your entire life regularly?

Why is the Hollywood elite so addicted to pushing a narrative but then never living by it?

Jokes aside, he's aged dramatically since that first Ironman. His boyish ego is just intense. Hard to watch. Completely out of touch with the struggles of most people living in todays world.

Top Gear (2002–2022)

OG cast rocks, Matt lablank is terrible

[9/10 · 5 March 2023]

While I am aware of the reasons the original cast was booted or left on their own free will, the hosts after the original trio just absolutely suck. There's no vibe. Feels completely disjointed or a replica of something they simply don't understand. Why on earth was the dude from Friends ever brought on to this show? The guy played a moron on that show for years and then has the ego to think he came replace the greatest auto trio on earth? Nope. The producers lost their golden goose just like Amazon is repeating now with grand tour. I sound miserable when I write this. Probably because of disappointment. Why ruin a good thing and replace it with garbage?

My 9/10 is for the Jeremy, Richard and James years. It would have been 10/10 if it felt a little less predictable. I didn't bother rating the other cast as that show should have been an entirely different IMDb post. The new group is a 0/10.

Sharper (2023)

Written by ignorant people

[4/10 · 17 February 2023]

The script was written by fools. With huge money comes huge security. The billionaires get their billions by protecting their ivory towers and not by inviting in a Trojan horse. The old rich guy would have had his dating pool thoroughly investigated before inviting in the queen bee. In this film we are lead to believe a guy with 9B never did this to discovery that her son really was her boyfriend and accomplice? This is so naive on so many levels. Anyone who has ever been around money knows exactly the games that are played between family and their protectors. Instead we are given an anti heroes (casted specifically) that cons the whole bunch of pretty stupid cons (casted specifically). Nope.

The Menu (2022)

Artsy and empty

[3/10 · 4 January 2023]

Zero point to the entire length of this artsy mess. A bunch of stars stuffed into a room on an island. No twist. No plot line. A bunch of lame recipes served as acts in a play.

Summary: idiots stuck in room don't fight back eventually burn up as s'mores. Yep, s'mores. After we get to watch the lady actor with huge eyes pretend to devour a cheeseburger.

I feel like this film was pitched to a room of people dosed with some heavy meds and then asked if they dig it or not. The room replied: I dig it.

This is a stunt you'd typically see on Netflix. This somehow was approved without that checkbox.

I have really nothing great to say about this. I guess I could comment it was shot well in some studio full of actors that need attention. If you're into that then waste your life like I did.

Queen of Versailles Reigns Again (2022– )

Horrible!!!

[1/10 · 15 December 2022]

In the same episode that Jackie swindles an old man out of his $2500 slot machine for $500 less, the show brags about hundreds of thousands spent on pointless stuff like a heated floor in Florida...

The male "children" (20 year olds) in this family speak like they're going to become terrible people. Smug smiles as they admit that flying in private jets is as average to them like "brushing teeth."

How many of us have had the choice of a gold elevator or a staircase be built to enter our 1,000sq ft bedroom? How about choosing 9million dollars of marble instead of stucco to cover the exterior of our palace? How about our 17 year long commercial grill obsession that somehow isn't realized impossible for 17 years resulting in demolition of the entire room?

So many people struggle with affording gas to get to work. This family struggles to get a full nights sleep because of a water leak above a million dollar stained glass dome that may impede their plans for a NYE bash.

The Mosquito Coast (2021–2023)

Season 2!!!

[4/10 · 9 December 2022]

What happened to this show in the second season???? Part of the interest was the MYSTERY of why they were running and demonstrating their intelligence to do it. The mess came from the random characters that got in the way or were pretending to help.

Season 2 is one giant mess. The directors decided to give away the entire mystery and then string us along through boring dialogue based episodes. Kids hate dad then don't. Kids hate mom then don't. Kids hate each other then don't. This is the most frustrating let down of a concept and I cannot believe it played out as such.

Did the creators just give up? Yay! We reached the mosquito coast and now we don't care anymore!

Black Adam (2022)

Foolish

[4/10 · 9 December 2022]

Did the fools of DC not learn a dang thing from the failure that was Justice League? This endless explosion followed by explosion with a demon with mutated voice is almost a copy cat of that horrible mess. About a hour into this you begin to wonder if this was written by teenaged boys. I feel terrible now that I have wasted so much of my time and money watching this. There's no redeeming this garbage pile. The scene with black Adam ripping the Satan dude in half was enough for me to forever give up on DC. I think I only watched up until the very end to see Superman one last time. Such a sad day.

Nope (2022)

Waste of time

[5/10 · 26 November 2022]

The media made this out to be some scary AF film that everyone was raving about. Now I have invested my time to confirm that its anything but what they made it out to be. I can't even begin to imagine what makes people think this is a good film. You're constantly left wondering what anything has in common with main plot or how it supports the narrative. The homicidal monkey? The relentless desire to take photos or film the alien. The random transformation from flying saucer to jelly fish flower sheets flying around the ranch. There's nothing sinister of the craft. The entire summary is bogus. I felt like I was conned into wasting my life and somehow it has 82% on RT. Nope.

Limitless (2022)

Love it

[10/10 · 23 November 2022]

Great mix of what all these producers put together. Documentary of science combined with big time action actor. Love the cinematography, build up of story and sound combined with the challenges and openness.

It's like watching real life training to be invincible. Chris did it all. Very impressed. I couldn't do these tests. Surprised we haven't seen other actors show their training like this. Makes a ton of sense and is quite entertaining. Love that Chris brought his pals along for the ride.

I don't want to give much away but I think this was done real well and I still have 35 characters to write...

Ultrasound (2021)

Yuck

[1/10 · 4 November 2022]

Vincent Karthieser is one of the worst actors of our generation. He's neither powerful or commanding. He's neither believable or convincing. If put into a villainous role: he fails. If put into a gray worm suit and asked to wiggle around: he'd still fail to convey what a worm feels or fears.

Time and time again this person is cast as something he isn't. Maybe it's time to stop casting him altogether as an actor because then I'd believe that role: a person who can't act who tries time and time again to act.

It's a sad pathetic world we live in where Vincent Karthieser gets paid more than doctors just to pretend to act. This film is trash because of Vincent Karthieser. If you want to see him in his prime as a person who can't act casted as an actor to play a villain: go watch Titans. HORRIFIC.

Maybe it's time for Vincent to get casted as Vincent. Can't wait for hollywood to think he's the next Willy Wonka or James Bond. You know it's bound to happen...

Titans (I) (2018–2023)

High budget low value

[6/10 · 4 November 2022]

I had written a review and somehow that one vanished. I'll try again.

This show seems to have a decent budget but lack in the screenwriting category. It's almost as if they blocked the scenes out during production and then failed to develop the blocking and dialogue. It feels rushed.

Characters feel immature. Dialogue feels unnatural. Acting overdone, especially Blackfire- like what on earth. "I'm here to wiggle my fingers, pierce my lips, raise an eyebrow and strike a pose" x1,000.

Feels like the entire show is governed by producers that had unlimited power but had no clue what makes a story believable and delightful. "Just go do that thing you do again and again."

When one of the characters die, no problem! Just undo it. When a new character arrives, no problem! Just accept it even if it makes no sense or value to the story. When one character disagrees with another who happens to be their best friend, no problem! Just pretend that everyone always naturally backstabs everyone. Constant teenaged brooding and anger.

Hostages (2022– )

CNN disguised as HBO

[5/10 · 5 October 2022]

Here we go... the newest form of propaganda that they'll flood HBOMax with up until the midterms and beyond. Today we simply say words like investigation or circumstantial evidence and the general population says "oooo, ahhhh" and forms an opinion.

Carter paid a 8 billion ransom to try and free hostages that were needlessly held captive for a year. Carter oversaw a disaster of a rescue mission that caused 8 American soldiers to die by crashing a helicopter into a plane full of people. Yet he's praised. "Carter made many other mistakes... but he was kind."

They tell the story of the incoming president reagan and all they can do is flood your mind with controversy and "circumstantial evidence."

No one remember the Carter gas lines? The 14% inflation rate? His utter inability to DO ANYTHING?

This documentary does a good job piecing material together. It should have left the bias garbage out but since CNNplus got absorbed into HBOMax.... Here we go in the propaganda bus.

The Munsters (2022)

What in the world

[1/10 · 30 September 2022]

Proof that the initial reviews were bought and paid for.

This remake should have never been remade. I remember growing up watching the endless reruns of this garbage show on Nick at night or some cable channel simply because there was nothing else on the 60 or so stations. It felt like tv back when the original was made was garbage and people had even fewer stations to watch so they just dealt with the original Munsters. This remake is even worse.

Why is it so overly lit and overly acted? Why was it shot like it was made by Instagram influencers with a gimble and an iPhone? So much wasted energy creating something that will (hopefully) just be forgotten.

Clusterf**k: Woodstock '99 (2022)

Interesting

[5/10 · 5 August 2022]

Interesting doc up until the end. Then it dumped the forced agenda on y'all. The promoters were the villains but sure let's go blame the straight white college guys for all that's wrong while showing women willingly crowdsurfing without tops on. "We are now the parents looking out for our children" - OKIE DOKIE, betcha went to EDC and other raves recently where ya met your hubby but sure let's lecture the new generation about the evils of "American society." Netflix is rancid.

Last Night in Soho (2021)

Yikes

[1/10 · 2 July 2022]

Style over substance. Lots of neat parlor tricks for cinematography and loud music. The second and third act literally collapse into a puddle of blahb. Simply nonsense.

Best stupid part was when a 70 year old somehow smacks down a 20 something chick and boy.

This nightmare within a nightmare within a nightmare was anything but worth the money the production companies spent on producing it.

Sing 2 (2021)

Cute film

[7/10 · 1 July 2022]

Cute story but some pretty ugly character models. Some of these animations these days spend so much time on texturing and lighting they forget that the style of character building matters more. Compare any number of these ugly animal characters to one of Pixar and you can see the lack of creativity.

Aside from this the story is fun and entertaining with some humorous moments.

Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore (2022)

Ugh

[1/10 · 1 June 2022]

"Make it end already"...

That's all that went through my mind for the two hours in inured of this nonsense. I can't help but feel like there's zero plot or I'm always missing something. If all these wizards can do whatever they want then why all the extended drama. Just get it over with ... one spell is all it would take ... bam! Instead we get these weird scenes where they can conjure stuff when it doesn't really matter to the plot but during trivial fight scenes they all seem weak and powerless.

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022)

Wanda in the Multiverse of Sadness

[5/10 · 20 May 2022]

Literally felt like the ratio of Wanda plot to Dr Strange was 4:1. What did I just watch, a sequel to the Wandavision show? Also, did Wanda simply just give up on her accent? Anyone?

There was once a moment where I simply cracked up when it was meant to be serious. I heard others in the theater laugh too. We must all be sociopaths. Or there's just something awful about the direction.

And the music by Danny Elfman was a disjointed mess- sometimes rock, sometimes techno, sometimes symphony, sometimes avenger theme but rarely matched the actual scene unfolding on screen. I guess you could say it was part of the madness but not really.

I left the theater wondering why I spent the money on my date and I to watch this vs going to some bar. I don't feel up for another Marvel film if this is how it's going to go from here on out. Definitely have zero desire to buy this and rewatch unlike some of the older films.

I'd put this on par with Iron man 3, Moonknight and Elementals. Disjointed and pointless.

Minx (2022–2023)

Joyce :(

[6/10 · 11 May 2022]

The main character and the actor that plays her are bad. Everything else is entertaining.

I don't know what's worse, Joyce's poorly aligned teeth that make her speak weird or her inability to admit wrong.

So many prosthetic male parts! Lol!!

Billions: Succession (2022) Season 6, Episode 11

What IS this show now?

[1/10 · 4 April 2022]

What is this show? It's certainly not Billions anymore. The Villain: gone. The Anti-hero: gone. Man vs man: gone. Monster vs society: gone.

All themes: gone.

Now you have almost every single character making the same mannerisms and delivery of dialogue as if they're all the same exact person. Every person also delivering references to obscure societal moments or one liners.

Chuck is now a nobody. No weird kink oddities.

Axe is gone. Without a trace. What the f?

Wags literally duplicated as a black male that can do no wrong. Yet Wags stays but has been stripped of all oddities.

Wendy powerless with no connection, no spite, no arc.

Kate... can you please stop delivering lines with your eyeballs bulging out of your head and your mouth cocked open like you're the coolest thing on earth?

Prince... literally the most average billionaire with literally landing flat as a performance.

Everyone is literally after each other like cats running wild in a house. Who goes there. Who goes where. Who does what to whom. Literally brainless mess every episode.

Billions: Hostis Humani Generis (2022) Season 6, Episode 6

Uh????

[1/10 · 24 March 2022]

So the prince list of investments has the police pension. You've got a person of color wanting his money out of the fund because police pensions is part of fund. Why is this garbage in the show? What happened to the intensity and intellect of these groups under axe? Now it's social justice warriors. Who is this show appealing to now? I can't imagine it's the reality tv generation. It's not me anymore.

Billions: Burn Rate (2022) Season 6, Episode 4

Woke Joke

[1/10 · 21 March 2022]

Now that axe is gone you've got a weird play on what was once not a PC show. None of the characters play their original roles anymore. No more drugs, no more girls, no more partying or insane circumstance. Now it's been replaced with mediocrity. This particular episode even ends with Chucks #1 femme fatale as hopping over to the new cap group. Hard to ignore the race plays here. Femme fatale who makes odd looks while speaking, Princes sidekick, new recruits - all POC. Last two seasons it was about powerful chicks. This season it's about politics and race.

What happened to this? We've traded the unbelievable with the fully predictable garbage only hinged on the race wars of America. Facepalm.

Cobra Kai (2018–2025)

W t f

[2/10 · 3 January 2022]

Season 1 was great. Well balanced show with comic relief and a ton of nostalgia with original characters resuming roles from 30 years ago. An unreachable goal, character arc and growth, all sorts of great foundations for a decent show.

Season 2 literally lost all the comic relief of the first season. There's a 20 minute karate riot in a public school spanning hallways, stair cases and classrooms. 20 minutes of punching and kicking people in the face repeatedly like a Zach Snyder superhero finale. Why are we supposed to believe these kids can resist knock outs??? You witness nonsense in this scene that really acts as the summary for the entire season- unrealistic and pointless. Then when it couldn't get any more ridiculous one of the main characters get kicked off a second floor onto a staircase and he breaks his back. The kicker of it all... those who are rioting think this is going too far? Like they think all the riot and insane violence before that meant nothing. No formal charges on anyone... no aggravated assault with a weapon for the chick that rips up the arm of another, no lawsuit against the school for allowing this endless fight to go on and on and on...and why did the split lip kid go from prosthetics to make it look real to all of a sudden just two red marker lines drawn on his pretty face adorned with a massive Mohawk???

Season 3 you get an encore of this... every character becomes even more illogical. And the over acting becomes even more extreme. A full on karate riot explodes in the Larusso house. Individual fights all equally spaced around the house destroying everything for 20 minutes and again no knock outs or sense. Just more pointless violence followed by life lessons that no one ever seems to remember. Still no comic relief of the first season, no unreachable goal, no character arch, nothing. Insanely over dramatic music tho... and at one point there's a climax where a character mutters a thanos/agent smith line of "this is inevitable" over music straight out of a gothic cathedral. And you can't forget the scene where everyone reunites with people who punched and kicked them in the face not long before that and simply forgave them all. LOL

And hey... this teen drama is rated amazingly high. When you realize the dude that produced this show was the same dude that produced the bad film reboot with his son it all begins to make sense. What in the actual heck is this show. Am I the only one left on earth who has actually been kicked in the gut and punched in the head enough to realize the realities of fighting and how this show is nothing like real life?

Home Sweet Home Alone (2021)

Horrible.

[1/10 · 27 December 2021]

Most convoluted waste of time and energy by a film studio. How was this garbage green lit?

The whole premise is that two idiots who can't manage their lives blame a child for stealing a doll at their open house. Then you proceed to watch these morons neglect their own children to go and steal it back ... by jumping a fence and destroying the backyard of the wrong home followed by breaking and entering another home...

In the originals you watch as criminals do their thing and you root for the main character with his funny little traps. This was so warped that you had no clue who to care about and who to hate. And the traps destroy the house far worse than the other films.

When we all heard original cast would reprise their roles we all assumed Kevin would return but nah... just the fat ginger older brother for a weirdly placed cameo about getting punked by his younger (now 40 year old) brother. Yeah okay.

The ending made no sense. Let's all gather and celebrate our ability to burn through the cash from the sale of the doll, boast about a trip to Europe and praise middle management job of loser dad... with the British mom and child whose home you broke into and trashed.

Yak yak yak yak yak.

Station Eleven (2021–2022)

Yeah okay

[5/10 · 24 December 2021]

World ends. But not really. There's a traveling group of theater actors... because that's what hollyweird thinks would exist once the world ends, rather then... you know... rebuilding or farming or anything at all. Let's all just dress up in scraps of other people's lives and let our poor horses pull our busted 90's Ford Broncos. When stuff gets rough, just throw yourself into your deepest hated life moment... and bam! Another melodramatic monologue.

How does this have higher than a 5 on this site?