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dred110
Reviews
Halloween II (2009)
Rob Zombie is the Worst Thing that's Happened to Horror
This movie is as bad as the first terrible remake of the all-time classic, Halloween. Why any film company would put their money in his hands is beyond me. His film-making skills are like that of a high school student, only with millions of dollars at his disposal. John Carpenter should punch his nose, and then say, "Michael Myers is not a pro-wrestler! Michael Myers is not a wandering mysterious warrior on a quest. You don't know how to make movies. Please stop." Brad Dourif was cool, and it was nice to see Dobber (sp?) from Coach make a cameo. Malcom McDowell must have secretly been crying in his trailer each night, wishing Stanley Kubrick was still alive so he could bodyslam Rob Zombie on to a pile of thumbtacks...
The Gingerdead Man (2005)
Come on!
Anyone who says this is a bad movie must be insane. Why? Because if they couldn't tell that it was an awful piece of garbage just by looking at the cover of the DVD, they're brain dead. This movie was never meant to be taken seriously! It's camp, folks! If you honestly expected to be scared or find some kind of horror, you've missed the point. The point is to make the cheapest, crappiest, piece of garbage ever caught on film, and make it so bad that you just can't help but laugh. That's why this movie gets 10 of 10. It did precisely what it set out to do, which was to make my friends and I laugh our butts off at how hilariously ridiculous it was...
Lady in the Water (2006)
Microphones!
Not a bad movie, but Shyamalan should have spent more time with the character that he, himself, portrayed. This character had a very interesting predicament that wasn't fully developed. I think the reason the character was somewhat shallow was because Shyamalan didn't want to seem anymore self-indulgent than people are already accusing him of being, but he should have cast someone else in the role and wrote the character stronger. Paul Giamatti knocked out his role, excellent job. But let's get to the microphones... what the hell? Boom mics in something like thirty shots! No kidding! Once or even twice is forgivable, but this was unreal. It completely removes you from the story because you've got boom mics following the characters around, bobbing up and down above their heads. That's just ridiculous. I mean, isn't that the first rule on how to be a director? Don't get your friggin boom mics in the shot! Was Gary Coleman holding the mics? With CGI and all they can do today, it's totally unforgivable. Lazy. Oh, and I'm sorry, but the monkey-people gotta go. When they showed up I felt like we moved into a Godzilla film where people in rubber suits should be stomping cities flat...