zendyude Reviews

Inconceivable (2017)

Plastic

[3/10 · 22 February 2022]

Nicolas Cage is in this for like 2 minutes, it's not really his movie. More like a soap drama with actors that have a load of plastic surgery between them so much so that you cannot tell what emotions they are trying to express. Their faces look stiff and cartoonish..lol Just be real!

Too Old to Die Young (2019)

Ambient psychill

[9/10 · 18 January 2022]

Well, it takes a little getting used to at times, but I'm still giving it 5 stars cause this show is simply awesome - artsy, funny, chill, meditative, very different from the shallow junk of mainstream. However, I feel the director/creator has totally ripped off Japanese filmmaker Beat Takeshi's style of the stoic, calm, nonchalant characters and oddity seen in movies like Sonatine. Even then, I ain't complaining cause it works with the mix of other influences like Guy Ritchie, Tarantino, etc.

All actors are amazing, but Yaritza is smoking with honorable mention to Janey. They're not the typical Hollywood lightweights.

El Candidato (2020– )

11 Stars

[10/10 · 14 January 2022]

I don't know if I have given 10 stars to a show, and I'm super picky about the dime a dozen shows these days. But Amazon hit it out of the ball park with this one. It's a hidden gem it seems like since there are not many reviews. Very tight show with an amazing plot, great actors and keeps you engaged throughout. Every scene is crafted with an artistic flair, and at times the camera stays on a face for much longer than expected but it fits in. Isa was a bit cold initially but warms up nicely into her role. Unnecessary drama is at a minimum, action is tight without excessive blood, shooting and gore. Eagerly awaiting the next season - the filmmakers did an outstanding job here!

Causality (2021)

Maybe written by a 5th grader

[1/10 · 10 January 2022]

Except for the wow factor of a single camera take, everything else is terrible and dumb. The plot is just all over the place and was so dumb, I thought I lost brain cells. Halfway through, I watched it on fast forward and even then it was dumb.

You Were Never Really Here (2017)

Horrible

[1/10 · 4 January 2022]

The closest and very generous analogy for this movie would be if you were watching paint dry while someone was clawing on a blackboard.

Not that the emotional aspects, blood and violence were overdone, but the fact that it was a messy, incoherent and extremely amateur filmmaking is what fails this waste of resources. Joaquin's talent is wasted in this mess, and good for him that he did Joker to make up for junk like this. Absolutely avoid this unless you want to feel depressed for no reason.

The Assistant (III) (2019)

Utter junk

[1/10 · 1 January 2022]

What a drab, boring movie, and quite a downfall for Julia Garner who played that awesome character in Ozark. Her character was super annoying and not nearly as smart as she's supposed to be. Who greenlights and produces such junk movies? Total waste of resources.

The Wheel of Time (2021– )

Stop the whining

[5/10 · 9 December 2021]

The Wheel of Time...moves slow, so slow. It could've been a 5 star show had it not been for the cheesy fillers of forced emotions and people continuously talking about their feelings. Great sets, effects, actors, plot but ruined by inconsistent pacing and fillers of boring melodrama.

Yellowstone (2018– )

Ok except for the political agenda

[3/10 · 9 December 2021]

I watched 2 seasons of this cartoonish series, but not sure I can watch any more. It has a lot of stupid random things that happen, and if you can suspend reality and watch it like a cartoon, it can be engaging. However, the plot is amateur at best with no depth. It's basically Cowboys vs Indians with a modern twist.

For all the tough cowboy talk, there is heavy melodrama - at any given chance, they start talking about their feelings and whining till the cows come home. Most shows use misplaced drama and forced emotions as fillers when they don't have much substance, and this show is no exception. The writers' confusion is evident with the messy incoherent family dynamics and the misgivings of all involved. It's very childish to put it mildly.

Kayce goes through every scene with the same exact expression but ok, he's got a kinda presence. Beth is just annoying and disgusting, and I cringe at every scene she's in. John (Kevin Costner) is a super narcissistic regressive control freak who owns like thousands of acres of pristine land which was probably stolen by his ancestors from the Indians, and yet he has an unholy attachment to it so much so that he'd cross all lines to keep it including the destruction of his family. However, Kevin Costner makes the character tolerable. The moral hypocrisy is all-pervasive. Everyone thinks they are selfless while they are the most selfish except for maybe Rip. Rip, Monica, Lloyd, Jimmy and the Indian chief are the most likeable characters.

The alcohol abuse is definitely not good, difficult to understand why these shows and movies glorify such things when they are already huge issues in society. It's disgusting how Beth and some others are always drinking, and they reach for the bottle to cope with the smallest issues. Not a good social message! And what is up with the California bashing? It's way over-the-top - either they're trying to keep it real or they're propagating a right-wing agenda. It's not a good precedent, I have never seen such things in movies/shows before where they're outright bashing another state like this.

The series does have some redeeming qualities of humor and heartiness at places, and some of the information about the native genocide is presented quite powerfully including how the destruction of the native lifestyle has also brought about the destruction of the environment and American society as a whole.

Beowulf: Return to the Shieldlands (2016)

Terrible script

[3/10 · 3 December 2021]

Nice sets, costumes and effects ruined by a terrible script and dialog. The mystical beasts and effects were quite alright. Beowulf was hyped up so much throughout as being the greatest warrior and what not, but his character just cannot deliver on that hype. The acting is just ok. The script and dialog writers are to blame here because the production quality is not bad. And the opening theme song is such a rip off of Game of Thrones, it's cringy. It could've been pretty good. Couldn't watch past first few episodes.

The Outpost (2018–2021)

Splendid

[10/10 · 12 November 2021]

I'm giving it a 10 to make up for all the negative reviews, else it'd been an 8.

Within the first few minutes of the first episode, I was about to turn it off as it seemed like a cheesy B series but am I glad I decided to keep it on. The special effects are nothing to brag about, but the show makes for a lack of budget with a highly refreshing/engaging story-line with an amazing cast of quirky and beautiful people. It has that warm cozy feel to it which actually makes you feel like you're in the outpost.

As some other shows like The Witcher, they are trying to fill the void from Game of Thrones which is quite obvious but no big deal. For me, the standout actors/characters were Gwynn/Rosmund (simply outstanding and would've made a much much better Mother of Dragons), Tobin, Elianor, Falista and of course Janzo. Janzo brings a lot of soul into the show and his presence stands out in every scene he's in, though I feel they should have toned his emo/beta thing down a few notches. Falista is just delicious. Talon and Garrett Spears are ironically the weakest links despite being the main characters. Talon (Jennifer Greene) becomes irrelevant and annoying with every season, quite wooden and does not have the charm of say someone like Xena.

No Time to Die (2021)

Sappy soap drama

[2/10 · 12 November 2021]

I'm glad this thing ended as it did cause I wouldn't be able to watch another installment of it the way it has been corrupted by Hollywood's increasing superficial politically-correct, do-goodership theme.

As usual the redeeming qualities are exquisite locations and cinematography, but this installment is ripe with soap-type drama similar to some of the past ones. Gone is the cool, detached, emotionally non-needy persona of Bond, and is replaced by a sappy needy emo with some mildly-amusing cheesy lines. They essentially turned into a shallow sappy romantic drama which is the opposite of what the original attraction to these movies were.

Infinite (2021)

3 stars only for the concept

[3/10 · 13 August 2021]

It was refreshing to see a mainstream movie being made on the beautiful topic of reincarnation. Finally, after covering all kinds of topics under the sun. However, they turned it into this shallow Hollywood formulaic crash-boom-bang junk. There was really no hope with Marky Mark playing the lead anyway, I mean this guy is not too bright. Maybe a Tom Cruise or even Matt Damon could pull it off. The plot seems like it was written by amateurs. The action scenes were also nothing great or outstanding. Couldn't even finish it.

If you want to watch a really amazing movie on reincarnation, check out I Origins with Brit Marling.

Underworld (2003)

Why the big ratings?

[1/10 · 2 August 2021]

I watched it again after several years, and I'd forgotten what kind of garbage this was. The so-called vampires who appear to be more like yuppie goths with fancy clothes seem to have absolutely no powers compared to the lycan. The Lycans tear them apart at will with almost no resistance. The only thing the so-called vampires can do is shoot 100 bullets per minute without hitting the target at even 10 feet. Kate Beckinsale did not get a good expression here.

Blood Red Sky (2021)

Well, it sucked!

[1/10 · 31 July 2021]

Probably the dumbest vampire movie made. As usual, with a lack of quality, you find fillers of blood and gore and tepid drama. But you cannot expect much from these streaming services these days. A huge quantity of garbage movies and tv shows but no quality. The main female vampire is shown more like a dumb weak zombie than a vampire. The plot and acing is all over the place, and nothing to keep you engaged. I had to skip through the entire movie. Someone needs to tell these guys that mafia and vampire movies are outdated after sucking the life out of them for decades. If you make one, it has to be really creative and tight.

A Quiet Place Part II (2020)

Better to sit quietly than watch this junk

[2/10 · 29 July 2021]

Too much drama, less action. Even Cillian Murphy could not save it. He really shouldn't have taken this role. How can they pour in so much money and resources into a movie and still have the dumbest, silliest most illogical plot?! Why does the deaf girl have a hearing aid, and still cant hear a thing? How is the deaf girl the only one to figure out that a certain frequency of noise is harmful to the creatures? Like, could the military or no one else figure it out? And, where is the military? These creatures didn't look like they could take on F16s, choppers and battle tanks. What were those explosions in the sky in the beginning? These creatures cant fly so how? Just dumb, so dumb. At least Krazinsky was not a lead in the movie, he is super annoying too.

Tehran (2020– )

Very cool albeit some misses

[8/10 · 14 July 2021]

Pretty good series - great actors, direction, gripping story and beautiful Persian language and people. But there are a few misses - the female protagonist comes across as an immature delinquent rather than a trained Mossad agent. The things that she does by breaking protocols and putting everybody else's lives at risk is unintelligent scripting. But ok.

To their credit, they have touched upon some deeper layers of the issues in Iran. On one hand there are the ultra-conservative religious bigots, and on the other, total loose "liberals" who want to bring the culture of drugs, alcohol and vain indulgence in the name of freedom. There is no middle ground it seems. The filmmakers have taken a balanced approach in showcasing this, so that is appreciated.

The East (2013)

Dud but good social messages

[4/10 · 13 July 2021]

I like Brit Marling's movies, especially I Origins and Sound of My Voice. But it's a hit or miss with her. And this was a sure miss, in that her character was super annoying with the self-righteous bull. The story is a total dud with all kinds of plot holes, forced superficial goody goody stuff and lacked any connection. The social messages however are poignant but will never be taken seriously by the powers that be.

Gangs of London (2020– )

Absolutely horrid

[1/10 · 12 July 2021]

Wannabe Peakey Blinders but fails at every level. Too much blood and gore trying to make uP for terrible acting, story, etc. Does not succeed in any way. 2 ePisodes is all I could watch of this waste of resources, and terribly violent junk.

Into the Storm (2014)

Good effects, bad writing

[4/10 · 11 July 2021]

This is a clear example of the imbalance between the talent of the special effects and production crew vs the writers. The former have done a great job and hence the 4 stars. But the latter have done a terrible job. If you can get through the first 20 minutes of unnecessary and superficial personal drama, really annoying preamble which is like nails on a blackboard - then you can get to the part where the tornadoes hit, and are treated to some really good effects and set production. But even then, there is intermittent drama which spoils the tone. And they should have taken a more sombre tone than the goofy one. Donk and bro were cool though..lol.

We Are the Flesh (2016)

Absolutely disgusting

[1/10 · 6 July 2021]

I'm no prude, and explicit sex and all that is totally fine. But this is a whole diff level of twisted. You cannot unsee some of the psycho junk in here. In the guise of being "artistic", this is an expression of some demented minds and should be avoided like the plague. Yup, with mainstream culture reaching this kind of a low, the world is probably going to end soon.

The Marksman (2021)

Worth a watch

[8/10 · 4 July 2021]

It's not action-packed and the title is misleading because you think it might be something like The Shooter or Sniper. However, it kept me engaged, and it flowed pretty well. The actors are terrific - Liam Neeson of course, and the cartel guy, but the Mexican kid stole the show with his sense of presence and maturity.

The movie touches upon the complex nature of illegal immigration and humans in general but not too deep.

But one of the most ironic scenes for me was when Liam and the kid are burning some cartel money cuz its dirty money and then Liam hands the kid a Pop Tart. I mean the American food cartel/industry is as bad if not worse than the Mexican drug cartels, feeding poisonous foods full of harmful chemicals, sugar and preservatives to kids.

The Vault (2021)

Pretty darn good!

[9/10 · 3 July 2021]

It's not perfect but it's one of, if not THE best heist movies ever made. It makes all those Ocean's 11 type fluff look like 5th grade amateur projects. I prefer this even to The Italian Job.

It has a sense of unexplainable sophistication to it, and the dramatic parts are also of the right measure and woven in well. Smart, suave and well-acted with clever social messages embedded in. Plot is well thought out and intelligent. We need more movies like these than the dumb stuff that comes out of Hollywood these days.

After Earth (2013)

Spectacular opera

[10/10 · 1 June 2013]

I almost did not see this one because of all the bad reviews. Boy, am I glad I did. The movie is so perfectly balanced, though I have to say, it could have used a bit more action. The acting is solid, cinematography is spellbinding, soundtrack is super classy. And it had a lot of depth to it with spiritual undertones and warm-hearted messages. M Night is in a league of his own, and this fact is quite prominent in this movie. And the Smith crew have performed brilliantly, Jaden has put his 100% into this. It's just a serene atmosphere build up from start to end with those little cozy scenes of family bonding and silent reflection. Don't know why they made it so short, I could have easily watched it for longer. This movie is a new chapter for sci-fi flicks. So, go watch it and makeup your own mind.

Crossing Over (2009)

Camouflaged racism

[1/10 · 27 November 2012]

The director and makers of this movie just had one goal, and that is to kiss their own asses for being American, and looking down upon people from other countries. It is quite obvious from the dialogues, and adjectives used for the immigrants and their home nations. They make it sound like all immigrants have AIDS, and come from 'third-world' countries. The reality is a lot deeper than the shallow outlook that arises from the minds of these filmmakers. People get drawn into the illusion of richness, and then they begin a spiritual learning process, and realize that America is actually the 'third-world' country in terms of spiritual and cultural depth.

Slumdog Millionaire (2008)

Horrid, racist movie

[1/10 · 7 November 2012]

This movie had no soul. It comes from the mind of a very sick, depressed and sadistic individual aka Danny Boyle. His ambition in this movie was to show India and Indians in a bad light, which is not the reality at all as it portrays. There are many layers to Indian society, and being a complex and sophisticated culture, the layers are equally complex. All said and done, even these poorest of slum 'dogs' live happier and culturally rich lives than most millionaires in the west. This is the spiritual aspect which Boyle lacked the depth or the intention to portray.

There was this one scene in the movie where the boy is stealing tires from the car of an American tourist couple, and when caught, he tells them: "This is the real India", and the Americans give him $100 as say: "This is some real America for you". I mean how cheesy is that? Clearly Boyle was trying to patronize the American audience and awards' judges. It's a pity this movie was held in such esteem at the Oscars, but these are the days of Gaga and such talentless folks, so..