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Reviews
Last Girl (2013)
Bad. Real Bad Not in a good way
I only watched this because I thought I started a film with a similar name. Started out with some promise. But that's it. It's as bad or worse than any horror film you will come across. Nothing ever happens.
The description says it was once only available in the Detroit underground movie scene. I wish it had stayed there. Then I would never have been exposed to it. The description also says it's the first film of director so and so. I hope it's the only one.
These people made a movie using only the top ten complained about horror movie short comings. Kudos for that I guess.
I won't bore you with a a plot or synopsis. There is no point. Try another movie. Any other movie.
Antichrist (2009)
Self Absorbed Crap
I tend toward the grotesque horror. This is not that. Not that I don't appreciate an art film, just wasn't ready for this. So if you are like me and just want to see the good stuff watch the first 5-10 minutes to get a feel for why these people are so messed up. Then fast forward to the 1 hour and 5 minute mark when things kick off. 1:15 if you are really impatient. I'm sure the art house folks loved this movie. But it's so in love with itself that it's just brutally boring. Sadie is great as always. This woman who is the director's muse will suck you in. I just felt like I was cheated out of an hour or so of my life.
Good luck.
Suspiria (2018)
Not a bad story but too long and too self important
I had high hopes for this. Everyone is entitled to what they like in movies , just like how they like their coffee, how they want their steaks cooked, and which wine they like, ect. This just didn't do it for me. It is a great story, but dragged out 45 minutes to an hour too long. The director was so in love with his artfulness that he just kept piling it on. It's more of a thriller than horror. A couple of scenes that qualify as horror. But they don't come often enough for the length of the movie. I know it's a witch movie, but the spell casting and whatnot seemed more like a repeated Deus ex machina. If it was whittled down to the bones of the story and had a little fill here and there I would probably love it. Unfortunately it's all filler and not much meat.
Basically a movie that is too in love with itself.
We Need to Talk About Kevin (2011)
Takes itself too seriously
I love and watch every kind of horror and thriller. 1 to 10 stars. Don't care. I'll watch.
This was neither horrific nor thrilling. It needs its own new category....... Boring and self absorbed.
I wish this story had been presented in a more palatable way. I'd would have liked to have seen Kevin overtly doing Kevin things, not just implied and faintly remembered. Doesn't mean I don't appreciate that type of storytelling. I do. It just didn't work for me in this film.
If you want to have a couple of cocktails and sit back and watch something that will depress, bore, and confuse you, here it is.
If you want a really good movie about a questionable kid named Kevin.....watch home alone.
Westworld (2016)
Started so strong
Then died a painful, boring death. If you are of the age that you loved the original....just stop watching after Anthony Hopkin's demise. If you liked "A. I. Artificial Intelligence or iRobot, then keep watching. Simple as that.
Good bones, good outline to the opening season or two. But goes so deep into the weeds of the creation of that world that it lost my interest. I didn't not understand, I just didn't care. If you do, then great. I wish I had.
Yes. The back and forth of the creators and the original "guests" are interesting. But not so interesting that they need several
Episodes each to flesh out.
I guess watch until you lose interest.
Legends of the Fall (1994)
One of the finest pieces of American cinema
For me this is in my top few movies, constantly fighting The Godfather 1/2, The Shawshank Redemption, and Goodfellas for the top spot.
I can see why some reviews think it is too long and melodramatic, but that's part of the sweeping tale-telling of this most interesting family. The melodramatic parts contrast perfectly with the hard actions taken by the main characters, thus making the toll these actions take on their souls and lives ever more relatable and poignant.
The photography in this movie is as good as it gets. From WW1 battle, to sweeping vistas of the Montana mountains and plains, to close, quiet, character and dialogue driven moments, they nail them all.
Settle in for a long, beautiful movie that spans decades and continents. You won't be sorry.
Clifton Hill (2019)
Worth a watch, but falls short
This had all the promise in the world, but didn't quite pay that off. The outline of the story is great. The production is well shot and acted, but the story goes a few too many places for a movie of this length. If it had been a three episode series they could have tied everything together in a more satisfying way.
For example, they needlessly hammer away at the protagonist's main character flaw in the second half. We get it. Time could have been better spent more fully wrapping up the ending. And no, it's not just a "leave you hanging/wanting more" ending. It just kind of stops with little to no real explanation. The final twist is a little insulting because it MAY render the entirety of what you just watched meaningless. Unless there are plans for a sequel it was useless.
I would absolutely watch a sequel. I'm not ,in the least , sorry I watched this. I just feel like we were cheated out of a very good movie so that the writers could show us how endlessly clever they are.
Escape from Cannibal Farm (2017)
Had promise, but....
The promise ended in the first scene. Childish dialogue and acting. I imagine the outline for this was promising but the writers, directors and actors conspired to make this one of the absolute worst movies I've ever seen, horror or not. .
I appreciate horror of all stripes.
But I just can't recommend against watching this one enough if it's a "good" movie you are after. If you are looking for just a terribly made film, then look no further. Sometimes I'm looking for one of those. Just wasn't this time.
Late in October I'll take a flyer on just about anything. I paid for it this time. No cinematic redeeming qualities whatsoever.
Wounds (2019)
Bigger waste of time than It Follows
No sympathetic characters. It goes out of its way to make sure you have no idea what is going on or who is responsible. Not even a hint of answers at the end. It's the middle of a story. You just don't get the first or last third.
I love and watch all types of horror at all star rating levels. This is no good.
Beneath the Leaves (2019)
Good bones, but laughably executed
As an aficionado of horror of all star levels, I took a shot at this one because the story and cast sounded interesting. It had promise, but soon devolved into a mess of surprisingly phoned-in acting and eye rolling plot developments. It really could have been good.
Elf (2003)
Perfect modern Christmas movie
Great for all ages. It's in the permanent Christmas rotation with A Christmas Story, Four Christmases, Trading Places and Just Friends. Anyone who rated this less than a 10 is a Cotton-Headed-Ninnymuggins.
Tell Me Your Secrets (2021)
Very good
I don't get the reviews that don't like Lily Rabe in this. This is right up her alley. Weird. Spooky.
This is a dark story that moves fast. Buckle up.
This has lots of threads that you aren't sure they can pull together.