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Reviews
Whatever Happened to the Likely Lads?: Affairs and Relations (1974)
Not dated at all
This incredibly funny episode was on TV yesterday evening and I was rolling about with laughter all the way through it. Terry and Bob go away for a "boys only" fishing weekend. However,,,,,,they are distracted by the rather dishy bar maid (Carol Anne Ford, the original Dr Who girl). Also, Bob's father in law turns up at the same hotel with a rather attractive horizontal secretary. To further complicate matters Bob's wife arrives and the next twenty minutes are straight out of a Brian Rix farce. However, that does not mean that the comedy has dated in any way although fussy PC types my pretend to disapprove. An easy ten out of ten for a series made over forty years ago. Modern "comedy" writers please take note.
The Avengers: Castle De'ath (1965)
Atmospheric if a little plot hole filled
I love re-watching these old black and white episodes from my very early youth. This one, though stylish and haunting in parts, is riddled with plot holes.
1. Why on earth would an organisation plotting against its enemies invite not one but two total strangers into their midst? 2. Why, after the laird ordered the cellar door locked was it kept open? 3. Why was Mrs Peel allowed to carry on wandering around the castle after she was attacked by the bad guys? 4. Why did Angus appear to be briefly on the same side as Steed before suddenly trying to attack him? Despite all this I remember as a child wishing that I could fish in that wonderful looking moat, I still do.
New Tricks (2003)
Started well but...............
The first few series were fresh and very entertaining. The characters ranged from the icy Sandra Pullman to the womanising Gerry Standing. In between were the Aspergers Brian Lane and the ever efficient Jack Halford.
Plots were generally simple and easy to follow, although one episode which showed a thug permanently watching over a local lake to deter anglers from using it was a little silly.
However,,,,,,,,,,,later series descended into the usual modern politically correct abyss.
Examples.
1. Brian (an angler himself) wildly criticising the keeping of animals in zoos.
2. Sandra (upon first meeting her) instantly and constantly rounding on the zoo's female manager for the same reason.
3. And worst of all Sandra ripping into the headmistress of a girl's public school. Her "crime"? There were no black pupils in evidence there.
All of this PC nonsense and the utterly unfathomably complicated plots led me to stop watching this once great program.
Jonathan Creek: The Letters of Septimus Noone (2014)
Pretty awful by the standard expected
Well this modern episode is pretty dreadful and I hasten to add that I'm a huge JC fan. I came very close to turning it off after thirty minutes but stuck with it for the whole tedious hour. Come on David, you can do better than this. There was no attempt to grip the audience in the first few minutes. The very thin story line wandered from place to place and included a totally unnecessary sex scene and a horrible young girl who delighted in vandalism. The format departed from the norm and was all the poorer for it, depicting a locked room attack,,,,,,that never took place. All in all a terrible episode of what has been an incredible series for many years. Even the delightful Paula Wilcox couldn't save this one. If you're a fan and missed this one, you missed absolutely nothing.
The Quick and the Dead (1995)
OK,,,,so it isn't "Stagecoach", High Noon, or Shane,,,,,but,,,
This mildly atmospheric western does have some redeeming features. For a start there is the stunningly beautiful Sharon Stone. A heartless, snarling villain that you want shot dead from the moment the movie begins. A host of OTT characters who are foolish enough to go up against the said villain in a gun fight. The flawed "hero" who is a preacher with a shameful past. The usual grimy faced close ups and spaghetti Western music. No,,,,,,,,,,it's not a classic (it does not pretend to be) but there are far worse movies out there. Yes the plot is stolen from OUATITW. Yes the premise of a fight to the death competition is a little far fetched. However, I loved it. Ms Stone is pure eye candy and if this film were on this evening I'd watch again.
Computer Chess (2013)
Utterly DREADFUL
I watched this movie a few weeks ago and boy am I glad that I didn't pay to see it. I have always had a fascination for computer chess from the late 70s and was very disappointed to (quickly) realise that it was not a documentary but an awful spoof "comedy". Frankly I've had more fun with the flu and never made it to see the naked lady at the end. I have heard of folk who actually sat all the way through it thinking that it was for real. lol If you have an interest in machine chess avoid this rubbish like the plague. It has been badly researched as I can assure you all from my interest in the subject that CC contests were nothing like this.
The Scold's Bridle (1998)
Absorbing but too many sub plots.
I came across this interesting drama on an old VHS tape recently. It certainly has plenty of intrigue and atmosphere but rambles into just one too many side stories along the way. Simpler would have been better in my opinion. Mathilda, played by the still stunningly beautiful Sian Phillips, is found naked in her bath. The victim of apparent suicide?
Along comes near to retirement, local flat foot Sergeant Cooper, hoping to crack the case and leave the force on a higher pension rate. Of the main characters I found Joanna, played by Trudie Styler the most compelling. Although most men would view her as rather plain looking I have to confess that I couldn't keep my eyes off her. She has the most amazing, chiselled from granite (but sexy) face of any women.
After several side issues (one or two somewhat kinky) have been resolved plod gets his man and we are treated to a VERY disturbing final scene. I enjoyed watching it again but it could have been 45 minutes shorter and better for it. 8 out of 10.
Dr. Who and the Daleks (1965)
The REAL Dr Who, forget the modern rubbish.
Lots of (I assume) youngsters brought up on the absolutely DREADFUL modern Dr Who shows commenting here. I saw this movie at the cinema as a very young child and loved it. It has an eerie atmosphere all of its own. Peter Cushing was born to play the movie Dr Who. There is a mixture of (mild) terror, comedy, and sci-fi interest here. I was enchanted by the petrified forest and the long shot of the Dalek city in the distance. I see nothing wrong with the acting or the Dalek voices. And those that find it slow paced are missing the point of the whole movie. What a shame that these days Dr Who has sunk to the depths that it has. It's like watching a sci-fi version of Eastenders. UGH!!
Star Trek: I, Mudd (1967)
An amusing episode with a few flaws.
Another fun episode from the original series. The scheming Mudd returns to cause more intergalactic mayhem. I love the perfect comic timing during the interaction between Kirk and Mudd as Harry explains how he was arrested and escaped. I must be getting old as I'm now finding Stella rather attractive. Alas it is a flawed gem as I keep wondering how impostor Norman came to be on board the ship without being detected. Also, am I the only person who HATED the illogical behaviour scenes? I found them as embarrassing as the episode where Spock plays music with the rich kid hippies. BUT,,,,,,,,,,the part of this enjoyable episode which confuses me the most has not been mentioned by any other reviewer. Towards the very end as a gaggle of different looking female androids start to gather behind the stars of the show these are two or three absolutely REPULSIVE looking women among them. Why on earth is that. My best guess is that they held a competition with the prize being an appearance on ST. The producer must have shuddered when he saw the winners.
Star Trek: Shore Leave (1966)
Entertaining if a little silly
Apart from the obvious and many plot holes this is a very entertaining episode. I'm afraid that even I can't suspend my disbelief to the point where even an advanced alien civilisation can manufacture a fully functional WW2 fighter in just a few seconds. Also, why was the knight's face plastic looking when the show girls and Finnegan looked perfectly human? And as for Kirk's ex girlfriend? Am I the only person who found her totally unattractive? On the other hand I found yeoman Barrows an absolute doll. Bones and Sulu enjoy themselves and if you ignore the faults this is one of the best episodes if somewhat silly. Worth watching just to see the look of death that Barrows gives bones as he emerges arm in arm with two show girls at the end.
The Vikings (1958)
A hugely enjoyable romp.
O.K, let's get my only gripe out of the way first. How can a slave grow from being a tiny baby to manhood wearing a precious stone around his neck without somebody taking it away from him? The premise is clearly preposterous.
Having got that somewhat glaring plot hole out of the way this was (along with High Noon) my favourite movie as a child and I still love it.
The breath-taking scenery, the rousing music, the rain lashed landscapes. All the characters are believable and Janet Leigh has never looked more beautiful. The build up to the final battle is incredible beginning with the transportation of a huge, wheeled log (tree) to the gates of the enemy castle. The sword fight between Kirk Douglas and Tony Curtis is the stuff of legend.
Finally, one contributor here described the movie as sexist (!!!!!) and historically inaccurate. That is utterly laughable. Step down off your high, PC horse and enjoy a great movie.
Bullseye (1981)
Harmless fun on a Sunday afternoon
I'll always have fond memories of this show. It was the epitome of a lazy Sunday afternoon's TV viewing. The hapless, amateurish, but always entertaining Jim Bowen was brilliant to watch. From the embarrassing pre-game interviews of the low IQ contestants to the "here's what you would have won" ending, it was pure low bro stuff. The awful prizes became the stuff of legend. I wonder what most winning contestants did with their speedboats? The lowest ebb came on a Christmas special when Jim introduced pantomime costumed Eric Bristow as "ghost Eric" and continued to call him that throughout the rest of the show.
There was one thing that I could never work out though. The none dart player must have known weeks in advance when they were appearing on the show. Why on earth didn't they get down to their local and a have a bit of practise. Some of them had obviously never thrown a dart in their lives and couldn't even get them to stick in the board. Why make an idiot of themselves in front of millions of people for the sake of a little practise.
Space Patrol (1963)
Very dark and dour to a seven year old.
I regularly watched this program as a very young child in the early 60s. At that age I found it (and the characters in it)extremely dark and creepy. I found Fireball XL5, Supercar, and Thunderbirds much more pleasant and enjoyable to watch. The music was eerie, the faces of the puppets were stark and staring, and every episode seemed very bleak when compared to other sci-fi puppet shows. All in all a bit of a cuckoo in the nest and a pale shadow of the infinitely superior aforementioned Fireball XL5. I could relate to Steve Zodiac but not the dour characters from Space Patrol. No surprise then that this third rate show has sunk into obscurity.
I Didn't Know You Cared (1975)
In a comedy class of its own at the time.
Well, what can I write about a comedy that I haven't seen for almost forty years. I remember watching it with my brother when we were late teens. Without being elitist in any way I believe that it was a thinking person's comedy. It dealt with dry, cerebral issues of working class family life. Fussy, PC types of today would object to the stereotyping but that's their short sighted problem. My favourite character was the dad played by John Comer, a very gifted comedy actor who deserved more than bit parts in Summer Wine. The dreary Carter made Summer Wine's Barry seem lively by comparison. I had the hots for the dreamy Anita Carey, and still do. We see endless repeats of Summer Wine and Fools and Horses. Why is this mini classic never shown anymore?
The World's Fastest Indian (2005)
It could have been so much better
Although I rather enjoyed this movie there were some points that irritated me. First of all, why the annoying transvestite? Perhaps he/she was just there to satisfy the PC brigade. Also, why would a complete stranger allow Munro full and free access to his workshop facilities including the burning of expensive welding gas? Thirdly, why did the still delicious Diane Ladd sleep with this awful looking and disgusting man five seconds after they met? There was also the matter of him turning up at the salt flats WITHOUT prior booking. Would anybody be so stupid as to think that all one had to do was turn up and take part!! Most damning of all was the urinating scene. The movie would have been all the better with the trannie and lemon tree scenes cut.
Miranda (2009)
Well worth waiting for
I only started watching this show a few weeks ago and what a treat it is. I'm not really sure why reviewers here cite this amazingly funny comedy as lacking in originality. I've never seen anything like it in my 57 years. What other comedy can you liken it to? In several shows I find myself rewinding the action to watch a particularly funny bit over again. I could watch her trip over and fall into a pile of cardboard boxes all evening. Mum is an absolute doll to a man of my age and the rest of the supporting cast are great too. OK, so it isn't high cerebral stuff but who (except a few stuffed shirts) cares. I still have loads of new (to me) episodes to enjoy and long may they continue.
Rosemary & Thyme: The Gongoozlers (2004)
Refreshing episode
First of all I have to confess that it's been a while since I last saw this episode. I remember it being very entertaining but rather odd as Felicity Kendal is hardly in it. The lovely Belinda Lang does however step into her shoes rather well and FK was barely missed. The storyline has her injured after falling from a scaffold. It did cross my mind that she may have been injured for real during filming and been written out. Because of the sequence of the filming later on though this seems unlikely. Just why BL was brought in to virtually take over the roll is anybody's guess. The plot was fairly complex and involved the usual dead bodies in the undergrowth and the guilty whispering about their secrets with our hero pair hidden behind the nearest tree. The climax was set on a canal route; hence the episode's title. Altogether an above average and very watchable yarn which I'm surprised nobody else has commented on.
Croc (2007)
Absolutely AWFUL
This movie was on last night and was truly AWFUL. I didn't expect much because the channel that it was on shows nothing but ninth rate "horror" movies. The acting was sub local rep standard. The "plot" was absurd. The characters were children's cartoon book like. The "hero" and his pal were utterly nerdy. The "giant" croc appeared to be about six feet long. The bad guys were inept losers. The local girls all looked like back street prostitutes. The "hero" got into trouble with the bad guys TWICE in the first few minutes and his geeky pal just happened to be driving close by to rescue him both times. What more can I say. Save yourself the sleep inducing time and avoid this none film.
2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
I sat through it as a child but.............
Although I actually waded through this movie in my early teens I could no longer watch it. And yes, I do like "slow" movies with extended scenes to add to the atmospheric nature. I'm not a fan of the modern shoot-em-up sci-fi genre. I do have a brain (I'm a 2200+ elo chess player). I am capable of understanding the thought processes of a director and I am not a soap opera watching moron. The fact of the matter is that this film is slow, boring, and absolutely miss-able. I agree fully that most fans of this awful movie have been struck down with The Emperor's New Clothes syndrome and need to get out more. It is tedious to the extreme. It is overrated and would make watching a nail rust in the rain seem worthwhile. In case I haven't made myself clear; this time bloated waste of an evening is a none film. Fans of it can criticise my intellectual capacity all they like. They are as wrong about me as they are about this awful movie.