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rboy8
Reviews
A Year in Mooring (2011)
i thought i was watching a documentary about the making of molasses
well...lets see. i admit to being an avid movie-holic. (i am currently on a 12 frame program). i honestly don't know what movie the other people found in their DVD container. the only way i could rate this movie on the high end of the scale is to drop massive amounts of ecstasy and view the entire film through rainbow colored glasses. what an insult to waste the talents of such experienced good solid actors with this drivel. i am the first to admit that the cinematography was solid but most of it was a little too derivative. i would like to think i understand the concept of still photographic images on film, but after awhile it became rote and lost its initial impact. i pretty much had the film figured out in the first 10 minutes. (i did not know the car accident where the lead character loses his entire family was due to an illicit affair he was having.) just about everything that transpired was telegraphed way ahead like when you fighting someone that pulls their arm way back before they strike. don't get me wrong. i like thoughtful, insightful, quiet character driven movies. just don't mistake this leaden, draining, bloated jackwagon of a film as one of those kind. if i had a choice between watching this movie or paint drying, i would definitely go for the wall. if you are still not deterred from wasting any of your precious time and still wish to view this throughly turgid affair after reading this piece, don't forget to go to the hardware store first and pick up a few gallons....just in case.
Lost (2004)
desperate man, foolish plan
i really wanted to enjoy this movie. it started out with a nice premise and as it unspooled, it just ended up a bungled mess of celluloid on the floor. when i found out the lead was actually involved in a bank heist, i became very interested until the actual robbery was revealed. that is what took all of the air out of this tire. what was the lead really thinking? he helps criminals rob a bank that he works at and attempts to take half the money instead of the agreed upon 5%. his plan is that he will disappear while the bad guys get caught. what?????? first of all, if they are apprehended, don't you think that they would be happy to implicate this idiot to gain revenge? and what was this lead truly thinking? the minute the robbery is committed, he and his fellow employee vanish with the loot. oh yeah. he's gonna take a plane to somewhere and will never get caught. just move to a secret place with his photo and description plastered all over the media. with a wife and kid in tow. yeah. right. sorry......i know the guy was in over his head financially, but that does not mean he could pull off something so thin and flimsy. plus on top of everything else he never thought to have several escape routes just in case so he gets........lost. wonderful, i guess there would have been no story if he had actually used his head. bah
I Am Legend (2007)
caution: watching this film may turn some viewers into zombies
well its been awhile since i have written, but this movie compelled me to put keyboard to screen. i am a 56 year old died in the wool horror and zombie fan. i am somewhat of a studios' wet dream in that i constantly go to the movies as much as i rent or buy them. i have seen the last man on earth with vincent price and the omega man with charlton heston many times each and always enjoy them with every viewing. now i understand that the average viewer probably has not seen either of these films and has no perspective to judge by, but i am so disappointed with the vapidness and empty calories that some of these MAJOR STUDIO RELEASES end up with. will smith is an experienced professional along with the entire group of people that actually produced this project. i can almost always tell when the fingerprints of the studio weasels have been left behind and believe me this movie is definitely a renter at best. please do not spend good money to see this. the film started well enough. it just does not sustain. mr smith has been in enough movies at this point that there are scenes where he does his "will smith cutesy talk" this time mostly to a dog. how disappointing. its like the studio says...now we have to keep these "cutesy scenes" for all the people that want to see him be cutesy. what drival. all of the flashbacks with him trying to get his family out could have had much more impact with continuity instead of breaking it into little bite size pieces. the cgi work seemed to diminish as the film went on. the woman and child characters later in the film were cardboard cutouts just there to evoke smiths' dead family. lame. i found it interesting that towards the end of the movie the grenade that utterly and totally destroyed the basement lab did not harm a hair on the woman and child. it was just a thin metal door between them and the blast. they should have been buried alive. also how did the "colony" figure out a way to replicate or make any type of antivirus from one measly tube of blood? please; spare me. i guess the real sad part of all of this is the fact that nothing will stop me from continuing to hope for the best and expect the worst when i attend first run films that are virally promoted and pumped up for six months before they are released. i know that there are talented people out there and i understand that the studio is more more interested in "product" rather than movies and demographics mean more than creativity and originality. most movies these days are remakes, sequels, and adaptations from books. lets hope that the powers that be will let this one finally rest in peace.
30 Days of Night (2007)
actually 30 days of nothing
well i suppose from my summary you can tell that i was not impressed with this film. i feel once again like a stupid fool for getting all worked up for this movie after seeing the trailer and thinking about what an interesting concept this could be. what started out as something i might be able to get into turned into one of the biggest turgid messes of a train wreck that i have not witnessed in my 50 or so years of movie going. now mind you, i am one of the easiest guys to please. sometimes i go see a movie because i know that it is going to be a stinker and have a great time laughing at the horrible dialogue or completely out of kilter plot holes and so forth. as the film unspooled, i sat in amazement.......did he just say what i think he said? no. you mean to tell me that the director and screenwriters finished this half baked flawed project, went into the screening room and actually emerged with their heads held high and high- five-ing each other on a job well done? i know that making a film of any kind is not easy but come on! stale dialogue...stupid music cues for the horror discovery scenes and on and on. i want to know why the vampires, who at the beginning of the movie can run fast enough to catch a speeding car and can group together and lift one become more stupid and slower with each passing scene. at one point they are snatching bodies with lightning speed and at another the two leads are trapped in a car and the baddies just stand around and screech and make grabbing arm gestures that are easily fought off. huh? why did the vampires set out to kill everyone immediately and not pace themselves? it seemed like it was just killing for killings sake. no rhyme or reason. very very boring. Danny Huston was the best thing going for this film. i actually payed a little more attention when he was on screen. as for the ending, its the same old story. Hartnett goes mano e vampo with the lead vampire while all the others stand around and screech and do nothing to help kill Harnetts character. i actually felt no passage of time for the 30 days that passed and there was really no tension built up for any kind of climax what so ever. at the end of the movie when Josh Hartnetts character sits on the edge of the cliff and watches the sun come up with his lady love i would like to think that he is actually thinking of his career at this point turning to ashes just like his body. would somebody somewhere please please make a horror movie thats really fresh and even a little scary?
V for Vendetta (2005)
lets understand what works for film, o.k.?
i am sitting here after reading several of the 'hated it' comments for this film. i really want some of you that were so livid about this movie to relax, take a deep breath, and listen please to what i have to say. ready? O.K. i will be the first to admit that i have never read the V graphic novels and the film is my introduction to this character. you know, when a studio decides to produce something there is that unfortunate thing called money that somehow always rears its ugly head. as much as some people involved with this movie would have liked to remain completely true to the original writings, the money thing, coupled with the ego thing, and the power thing all combine to sometimes get in the way of what perhaps should have been up on the screen. as an introduction to this character, i felt that V for Vendetta served its purpose well. can't any of you realize that in a production of this sort there are always too many chiefs and not enough indians. i would challenge any of you "armchair directors and fan-boy critics to make anything even remotely as good as what was done by the people at Warner Brothers. Hugo Weaving was tremendous as the main character. wearing a mask for the entire film without a facial reveal and yet still being able to convey such a sense of humanity in the process. as for ms portman...what a great sense of relief she must have had after coming off of those lifeless "Star Wars" films. she truly sank her teeth into this one. sometimes i feel that you that are truly disappointed were so worked up before you even saw this film, what with all of your websites, fan conventions and the like. as much as some of you would like everything to be exactly what you want it to be come hell or high water need to understand that this is the vision of the director,cinematographer, art director, scriptwriter, and oh yes the money-men. i wish that you could have seen the movie with an open mind and a fresh perspective. the music was perfect. the effects during the last fight in the station were "illustrative". get it? when natalie portman realizes that she has been held captive by "V" and not the government, were you sitting in your seats so bored and smug that you could not feel the epiphany her character was going through? i am a movieholic. i should be in a twelve frame program. i have seen a countless number of films of all kinds good and bad, but contrary to all of you nay-sayers, this film works and it works well. simple, straight, and true. i would challenge some of you to at least rent it again when it comes to DVD and give it the true chance it deserves. lets put it this way.... i remember when the first batman film was released. many of the same kind of fan-boys screamed in horror when it was revealed that michael keaton would be batman. sacrilege they cried! the film will be ruined!i thought it was perfect. Keaton made the batman character his own. i do admit that the franchise fell on hard times before the superb batman begins breathed new life into it. i also imagine that the writer of the "V" novels took his name off the production for one reason or another. but the truism in Hollywood is that everyone will promise whatever it takes to get something made regardless of whether those specific promises are kept or not. that is the reality of it. so i am asking you to understand that even if this movie was not the "pitch perfect" one that you had to see........it was done as best as could be expected coming out of a major studio as it were. i highly recommend this picture and plan to purchase a copy when it is released. i would ask all of you that were disappointed to give this another viewing with an open mind. thanks
Paparazzi (2004)
its the early bird that gets the worm, but its the second mouse that gets the cheese.
that comment just about sums up the entire movie. i knew going into this film after having viewed the trailers that i was in for a hoot-fest galore. how heavy handed can a movie maker get! viewing this film was like watching a bland made for t.v. flick with perfect cue areas where the commercials should be inserted. the lead actor, cole hauser whose total facial expressions amount to two (smiling and vapid} is stuck in this stinker with no way out. its amazing that his character is so new to being in la-la land that his truck license plates still say montana, but his character is the lead actor in a major action franchise! from background to bruce willis in one swoop. robin tunney, playing the wife is totally underwhelming and nothing more than a plot point for the story. i find it fascinating that the screenwriter and mel Gibson supposedly met up on the when we were soldiers set and made a gentlemans agreement on this overcooked ham. the entire audience laughed out loud when the one paparazzi character is riddled with police bullets and when the sizemore character starts chewing scenery in the third act....all i could think of is that this was the same actor that was in heat. directors are people that normally spend anywhere from one to ten or more years perfecting their way of making a film and actually inspiring and working with the cast to hopefully create entertaining and even thoughtful movies no matter
the subject. there are so many creative voices out there in Hollywood and truly talented people. its a shame that most of the powerbrokers that make the decisions to release comedies disguised as thrillers, sci-fi as soap opera and just plain poor films have lost any interest in the true creative talent pool that does exist in the marketplace. so, by all means see paparazzi and see what passes as professional movie making "product". don't forget your hankie. you'll be laughing so
much you'll be crying and soon the crying will be real tears for the state of assembly-line formatted commercial movie making that exists
today.