pahaake-474-839610 Reviews

Alone (V) (2020)

How to do everything wrong on the road - no spoilers

[7/10 · 18 March 2024]

First, rest stops at night are sketchy.

Second, if someone talks to you on a road and seems sketchy, they probaby are.

Third, I can't speak for every trucker in the US, but if you ask or tell you one you need help you're likely to get help,

I am only 27:minutes and I've watched every mistake in the book on solo road trips.

Tell someone where you're going, check in regularly and tell them where you are.

If at all possible only stop at gas stations or truck stops with people around.

I've driven across country several times, north to south on both coasts and up and down the middle. I'm a big guy and even I follow these rules.

Great movie, well acted, directed and filmed. Just watch it as a what not to do.

Leave the World Behind (2023)

Garbage

[1/10 · 15 December 2023]

Julia Roberts, who has always been meh to me, but her character is just ridiculous and over the top. No one acts like that is a decent human being.

Ethan Hawke, who is a personal favorite, is abysmal. He's embarrassing, insulting, and obviously pandering.

The only scary thing about this movie is who the producer is and the knowledge he may have about the future.

Do I recommend you watch? No - just go the book or a synopsis and save yourself some time.

It's very obvious the bent this takes, I mean - he had the keys to everything - and well of course let's see who produced.

Save yourself some time, watch ANYTHING else.

Last Seen Alive (2022)

Made you look, I won't spoil anything

[10/10 · 15 October 2022]

This is purely the GB show, he actually tries, he gets 4 stars

Jaimie Alexander also seems to try, and is amazingly georgeous 4 stars

Ethan Embry does a great job in the few scenses he's in 1 star

The director and writer get 1 star

Machvegas is not a real estate developer's dream -1 star

No one seems to notice that he's got a slight accent and lives in Manchvegas, developing real estate

Some scends look like they were filmed with a camcorder or whatever they use to make LMN movies (production maybe?) 0 stars

It's an interesting combintation of Breakdown and Vanished 1 star

As a film, it's a solid 4* without Mr. Butler and Ms. Alexander

Watch it if you are a die hard GB fan, as I am.

Dave Chappelle: The Closer (2021 TV Special)

WIll Bring You to Tears

[10/10 · 22 October 2021]

If you are one to berate, blame, or insult Dave Chappelle for being Dave Chappelle - YOU are the problem.

This was both touching and hilarious at the same time. I laughed so hard I cried, I cried some I was so moved.

Dave Chappelle is a fierce intellectual force and a genius in how own right.

If you part of the cancel culture - do us all a favor and turn of your internet and electricity permanently.

Get Out (I) (2017)

A conservative review

[8/10 · 10 February 2018]

I gave this movie 8 stars, which for me is high praise indeed. On my first watch, I would have given it 2. That said, now that I have viewed this title several times I can truly appreciate what Jordan Peele is going for. It's not just a "black and white" film, and if you think it is - you miss the point.

Peele captures much of the ridiculousness of modern American society while also playing to those that think everything boils down to race. Is this is an oscar contender (little o intended) - who cares? All the film awards do is help already narcissistic overpaid morons celebrate themselves.

Does this film look at some serious stereotypes while making fun of so many of things we preoccupy ourselves with? Yes! To appreciate the humor and "thrill" of the film you must watch it more than once. Again, I consider myself a very conservative individual but still appreciate the humor to be found throughout this film.

If you didn't like it the first time, try it again - you might find some very clever things you missed. I have actually watched it about a half dozen times and find something new in every viewing.

The Human Centipede III (Final Sequence) (2015)

So bad I had to review

[1/10 · 18 May 2016]

If -100 was a score, it would still be too generous.

I don't review movies, this was SO bad I had to.

It's rare that I don't at least make it 15 minutes into an absolutely awful "horror", this insults the word, movie - but I couldn't do it.

The acting is horrific.

The direction is horrific.

The casting, you ask - horrific.

The script - what's a word that's more horrifying than horrific?

The only thing not horrific about this film is.... Hmmm... Nothing.

OK, so maybe this is a horror film. I actually found myself feeling insulted by the stupidity. If you like a "movie" that actually disgusts you from the first scene and continues to slap you in the face with stupidity and poor acting - watch on.

I love bad movies - this thing is an insult to bad movies. Everyone associated from this tripe should be banned from film for eternity.

I could go on, but this title isn't worth it. Oh wait, your first clue should be that Eric Roberts is in it. After this, he should have his SAG card pulled - assuming he didn't after his last 50 atrocious "on screen", cough "home video", appearances. No offense to Mr. Roberts, but I mean come on - he has to know he's a terrible actor on his best day.

Garden of Love (2003)

Utter Crap

[2/10 · 15 August 2015]

So, I ignored my better sense and watched this disaster of a film. It's not funny, and even the gore is ridiculous and shot so poorly you can't even enjoy that aspect.

The acting is funny, it's horrific and not in a good way. I used to think freddy got fingered was the worst movie ever made - then I watched this. If I had't been on a plane with nothing better to do I would have stopped watching after the first 5 minutes. But I watched it to the end, and no it doesn't get any better.

The story is stupid, the direction is pathetic, there are 6 year olds that act better than any of the "actors" in this movie, and the script is literally so dumb I was wondering if there is a country somewhere where people actually talk like the actors in this film.

It's bad - really bad - like so bad I would rather have been cleaning toilets than watching this movie. Ignore the good reviews, it's crap - I only gave it 2 stars for the "plot twist" at the end and even that was cliché.