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7/10
A creative, original and hilarious independent gem
16 December 2009
I found Wasting Away on the shelves of Fopp recently after its Region 2 release here in the UK. I didn't buy it the first time I saw it because I find myself in a permanent state of skintness and therefore have difficulty justifying buying DVDs. However, packaging can be a powerful thing and the DVD cover for 'Wasting Away' looked great, had an intriguing synopsis and some positive reviews, so finally after watching the trailer (and, admittedly, after checking to see if the film was available online, which it wasn't) I bought it on DVD for a very reasonable £10, which is still the most I've spent on a DVD for about 2 years.

To cut to the chase it was worth every penny, and probably more. This is an independent film from California, with a fairly low budget of $1m, but it's nearly impossibly to tell this from the finished product, which is bright, ballsy and polished. Presumably the filmmakers must have had to cut corners to keep within their meagre budget but it's hard to see where they did so and this look of the film easily competes with higher-budget studio fare.

'Wasting Away' fits neatly into the "romzomcom" genre pioneered by 'Shaun of the Dead', but I hasten to add that 'Wasting Away' is not 'Shaun of the Dead', and is not trying to be. Four twenty-somethings spending time in the bowling alley where Tim (Michael Terry) works are unfortunate enough to eat soft-serve ice-cream composed of beer and the toxic waste from a military experiment gone wrong, subsequently die, and wake up as zombies. Except they don't know it. Their confusion is quickly compounded by an encounter with Nick Steele (Colby French), who has also been zombified but insists that they have all been transformed into 'supersoldiers' whilst everyone else in the city has been infected by an inferior brand of the same chemical (in fact, no one else has been affected).

Director Matthew Kohnen bravely tackles the zombie perspective and all the problems that come along with it (sample problem: if living human beings see zombies, as slow, lurching and groaning, how do zombies see us?) and clearly has a lot of fun doing so. The plot races along fast enough that the audience is never bored, but well-paced enough that we have time to get to know the characters and meditate on the ridiculous situation they are in. The dialogue is rife with humour and the actors sell it perfectly. Honourable mentions should go to Colby French, whose hard-nosed, sincere performance as "black ops" soldier Nick Steele is played straight rather than camped up and wouldn't be out of place in any Romero zombie film, and Matthew Davis, who delivers every line handled too him perfectly and never fails to bring the humour out of it.

Before I get too carried away I should point out that this film isn't perfect. At times it is laugh-out loud funny but at others the humour falls flat, or is just a little bit lame. Also, while the acting is mainly strong, particularly in French and Davis' performances, in other places it is weak or wooden. Some of the plot points feel a little contrived and the humour is occasionally too juvenile to be genuinely funny. But at the end of the day, these flaws are not only eclipsed by the positives, they even add to the film somewhat, making it more likable because of its imperfections.

This is a strong directorial debut from Matthew Kohnen, a filmmaker whose other credits seem to mainly consist of clerical or technical jobs, and I will certainly be looking out for more of his work. 'Wasting Away' stands out amidst the boggy mire that is modern horror cinema, a diamond in the mud of tired remakes and boring sequels that is all Hollywood seems capable of producing. It's refreshing, original, gleefully gross and most of all, it's fun. It's fun to watch and it looks like it was fun to make. The only thing that particularly disappoints me is the marketing failure. As far as I'm aware, 'Wasting Away' did not get a theatrical release over here and were it not for Fopp and their avid promotion of smaller independent films I would probably ever have heard of it. So watch it, enjoy it, and pass it on to ensure it gets the recognition it deserves.

I leave you with a quote from the film's theme song, which pretty much says it all: "You know your day will suck when the dead start walking the streets, And their only source of nourishment is Human meat."
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8/10
Sick, twisted and utterly brilliant
12 June 2008
But leave your moral values at the door for this one, this film is definitely not for everyone and many will be unable to see past the depravity (which is plentiful). Let me put it this way; if you're one of those people who read 'Paradise Lost' and fell in love with the character of Satan, then this film runs along similar lines.

The film opens with the 'Devil's Rejects' holed up in their house, surrounded by the police and with no obvious way out. A shoot-out quickly follows with casualties on both sides, and those that escape hit the road in search of refuge and slaughter, not necessarily in that order. Hot on their trail is Sheriff Wydell (an excellent performance by William Forsythe) who has a personal stake in the capture of this cheery family of serial killers.

Despite what this might imply, this film has no good guys, a fact that forces the viewer to sympathise with the most likable characters around: the Rejects themselves. At total twist of perspective near the end of the film may leave even the most outraged viewers reeling and unsure of which direction they want the film to go.

To lighten up the whole grisly affair, Zombie throws in a fair amount of humour, some of it dark and some of it surprisingly innocent, all of it hilarious.

An outstanding horror film that looks the devil in the eye and smiles.
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Pet Sematary (1989)
8/10
Awful in all the right ways
6 June 2008
A faithful and effective adaptation of the original Stephen King novel that also works well in its own right, portraying the original themes and tone superbly. In contrast to a lot of its fellow eighties horror flicks, Pet Sematary does not rely on gore to frighten its audience but instead juxtaposes different emotional extremes that have a far more sustained effect on the viewer. It may sound strange, but what makes this film different is that it does not simply include death, it is truly about death, and about the powerful and awful nature of grief.

The film has a difficult premise - the resurrection of the dead - which if handled without care could have become a farce or just another zombie film. A strong cast ensure make the fantastical story seem believable. Particularly worthy of mention is Dale Midkiff, who plays the father, Louis Creed, who plays a difficult role convincingly and effectively. Also Miko Hughes, who for a 3 year-old was already almost unnaturally talented and who won the hearts of many Stephen King fans. The score for this film also goes a long way to make it what it is, the chilling discordance is reminiscent of earlier classics like Psycho.

Of course, the film is by no means perfect. The dialogue is a little weak in places and is strongest when almost directly quoting the novel. Some people may find the whole thing too much and will laugh instead of cry, which is often expected when a film takes itself this seriously. And horror fans who were expecting a nonstop bloodbath may be disappointed or bored by a film that builds suspense slowly before snowballing to its final, terrible climax.

In summary, this is a chiller rather than a slasher, but works because the horror is so very real and close to our own lives. The truly terrifying parts of this film are not the "zombie" scenes but the portrayals of human fallacies such as sickness, madness and ultimately death. A truly memorable classic that stands up to multiple viewings and stays with you long after the end credits.

"What you buy is what you own, and what you own ... always comes home to you."
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Urban Legend (1998)
8/10
Worth watching
13 September 2006
The story of a serial killer re-enacting urban legends at a university -a simple but effective premise that explores the idea that sometimes the scariest stories are the ones that never happened. As these "cultural admonitions" come to life and students start dying, it is up to the main character (Alicia Witt) to find the killer and save herself.

Strong writing and directing, and a welcome change from the mediocre or worse horror flicks that emerged from the 90's. The story works on a similar premise to the Scream films but is much darker. Maybe not the scariest horror film around but still highly enjoyable with a chilling menace throughout. Christopher Young's haunting score fits the atmosphere of the film perfectly, as does the lighting that the director uses. There are strong and entertaining performances all round, especially from Michael Rosenbaum and Rebecca Gayheart.

Horror movie buffs might also find themselves looking at a few familiar faces. Robert "Freddy Krueger" Englund plays a creepy psychology professor. Brad Dourif, the voice of Chucky in the Childsplay films, makes a brief appearance as the stuttering proprietor of a gas station. Finally Danielle Harris, Jamie Lloyd in Halloween 4&5, plays Tosh, Natalie's goth roommate.

The death scenes are gruesome and imaginative. The gore isn't OTT because the story is strong enough that it doesn't need to be - a couple of the death scenes are left up to the imagination of the viewer, which is perhaps even worse than actually seeing them. Finally, when the killer is revealed, the motive is interesting and there's a nice twist (or two) right at the end.

Definitely worth either renting or buying if you're looking out for the best of 90's horror.
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Invasion (2005–2006)
No hook, no line, no sinker, no plot
18 January 2006
Warning: Spoilers
They best way to describe this would be "if Lost didn't work." Yes, it's a show about aliens, or at least about swimming lightbulbs. The aliens themselves haven't made a real appearance yet, and the vibe I'm getting from the show is that they never will, or it will take about 5 seasons before a character finds a blurry picture of what could be an alien or could be a hoax.

Basic plot - family in crisis, full of angst, kids you'd like to throttle and maybe one or two good actors among the adults. They're pretty to look at, but then again so is an iceberg. It's always nice to see character development in a show but sometimes it might be nice to season it with a little plot. The writers of Lost managed to do it - have character, very little actual appearance of aliens or monsters or anything but still a plot that moves fast enough to keep you hooked and lots of great dialogue. Invasion doesn't have a hook, let alone any bait.

I've watched three or four episodes but I won't sit through any more. It seems that in some shows the writers are afraid of having actual aliens in case they get laughed at. Me? I like my sci-fi with a little more science fiction, thanks.
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Average Joe (2003– )
Absolute trash
16 August 2005
Well, I guess I'm just happy that Larissa didn't end up with any of those so-called "Average Joes" because, quite frankly, they were all way too good for her. Maybe for the next series they could set her up with a cardboard cutout of David Hasselhoff or something. She'll probably find it attractive and they'll have about the same IQ. The perfect match! Seriously, though, those guys stepped off the bus and all I could think was that there was absolutely nothing wrong with them. Maybe they aren't movie stars but they're still pretty good-looking. It just goes to show how shallow and superficial the whole nature of the show is. Watch just one episode and you'll see that if these are examples of "Average Joes", then an Average Joe is my kind of guy. They're all smart, funny, charming men and they were set up with a girl who wasn't fit to lick their boots.

Whatever the message of this show was *meant* to be, all I got was that this is a sad, sad world if those guys are considered to be unattractive.

The show is absolute trash, but watch it if you feel like a good scare.
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Dog Soldiers (2002)
9/10
Now my favourite werewolf movie ever!
30 June 2005
Warning: Spoilers
Yes, I just caught this and couldn't believe it had taken me so long to get round to watching it. There's some fantastic dialogue in there, especially if you're a movie buff. My favourite line has to be "there is no Spoon", just because it was thrown in right when I was scared out of my wits and also grieving for poor old Spoon ... perfect timing. Applause.

Another thing I love about this film is that a lot of the time the victims don't just scream, get eaten - The End. Because these people are soldiers, they're Scottish, and they are ticked off. More than once a victim actually tries to have a fist-fight with the werewolf attacking them before meeting their grisly demise. Right up to the point of their deaths the characters spit insults at their enemy - literally in some cases! And well done to all the actors as well. The sheer frustration felt by the soldiers really shines through.

Although this is a horror movie, it could almost be perceived as a war movie. It has soldiers fighting a guerrilla war, a lot of bullets being fired and a lot of blood. We have a battlefield - the cottage that they are hiding out in - and a limited amount of ammunition. The characters treat it like a battle and unconsciously so does the viewer. Admittedly a slightly one-sided battle, but a well-fought one nonetheless.

Some people have complained about the special effects, particularly about the werewolf costumes. I have no quarrel here. I'm just glad that they chose to have real costumes instead of CGI. CGI monsters do nothing for me. You don't have nightmares about Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd for a good reason. This is the main reason why American Werewolf in Paris failed miserably in frightening me. Computer generated images can't compete with the real thing, and I found the werewolf costumes in Dog Soldiers sufficiently chilling.

Summary - like I said, this now qualifies as my favourite werewolf film, even managing to beat Ginger Snaps (which was a challenge). Sean Pertwee was fantastic. There was a good mix of horror and dry humour. Not suitable if you don't possess a strong stomach but other wise, a bloody good watch!
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House M.D. (2004–2012)
Pure genius
16 June 2005
Warning: Spoilers
And I mean everything about it. I just caught the first episode. Hugh Laurie blew me away - if I didn't know better I'd say he was a born-and-bred American - and his performance is outstanding. This is why I have always loved his work. His attitude is perfect for the lines he delivers and despite being a complete anti-hero he still manages to win the viewers hearts in his more vulnerable moments.

The writing is not only clever, it's - as I said earlier - genius. This is one of the most quotable shows I've ever come across, and even though it's not a comedy some of the dialogue will make you laugh. Subtle but smart, and wonderfully abusive at times. Who would have thought that condescension could have such a wonderful entertainment value.

Special effects - although occasionally a little squeamish (needle in the eye ... ewww!)- are as clever as the writing. The medical details are not so obscure that the viewer can't keep up but neither are they patronising. The plot is intricately built on throughout the show.

I particularly enjoyed the performance by the boy playing Dan.

Watch this. Get it on DVD if you have to but watch it. 10 out of 10. Applause to the director, the writer, to Hugh ... to everyone.
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Holes (2003)
10/10
If you have not seen this movie you have been DEPRIVED!
29 April 2005
And I'm serious! Truly one of the most fantastic films I have ever had the pleasure of watching. What's so wonderful is that very rarely does a good book turn into a movie that is not only good, but if possible better than the novel it was based on. Perhaps in the case of Lord of the Rings and Trainspotting, but it is a rare occurrence indeed. But I think that the fact that Louis Sachar was involved from the beginning helped masses, so that the film sticks close to the story but takes it even further. This film has many elements that make it what it is:

1. A unique, original story with a good mix of fun and humour, but a mature edge. 2. Brilliant actors. Adults and kids alike, these actors know how to bring the story to life and deliver their lines with enthusiasm and style without going overboard, as sometimes happen with kids movies. 3. Breathtaking scenery. And it doesn't matter if it's real or CGI, the setting in itself is a masterpiece. I especially love the image of the holes from a birds eye view. 4. A talented director who breathes life into the book and turns it into technicolour genius. The transitions in time work well and capture the steady climax from the book, leading up to the twists throughout the film. 5. Louis Sachar! The guy who had me reading a book nonstop from start to finish so that I couldn't put it down. He makes sure that the script sticks to the book, with new bits added in to make it even better. 6. And speaking of the script! The one-liners in this are smart, funny and unpatronising. But there are also parts to make you smile, make you cry, and tug at your heartstrings to make you love this story all the more. 7. Beautiful soundtrack. There's not a song in this film that I haven't fallen for, and that's something considering I'm supposed to be a punk-rocker. The songs link to the story well and add extra jazz to the overall style of the film. If you're going to buy the film, I recommend you buy the soundtrack too, especially for "If Only", which centres around the story and contains the chorus from the book.

I do not work for the people who made Holes, by the way, I'm just a fan, plugging my favourite film and giving it the review it deserves. If you haven't seen it, do it. Now. This very instant. Go!
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Noah & Saskia (2004– )
Fantastic!
1 February 2005
An excellent, well-written show, that does an applaudable job of describing the nature of internet friendships. The normality of these two teenagers' lives in comparison to the way they see each other is humorous and really endears the viewer to the show. Just another example of the excellent material being produced by the BBC these days. It's nice to see a show that doesn't try to patronise young people, but remains funny, dramatic and highly entertaining. The scripts are thought out extremely well and the dialogue and effects are superb. Another aspect that is interesting to see is how the two teens struggle with their feelings for each other and their feelings for 'real-life' friends. When it comes to choosing (as Saskia has to choose between Max and her friend Renee, or her more-than-friend Ernesto) a monologue of their thoughts keeps the viewer up-to-date on their feelings of guilt and frustration. The technique of having characters talk to the camera is one employed in many shows, which doesn't always work. But in Noah and Saskia it compliments the themes of the show perfectly, and ensures that the viewer is not left behind and can really empathise with Noah and Saskia.

The acting from the two main roles is incredible, and they have a lot of talent. I hope to see both of them take their careers further, because I was genuinely impressed by the level of maturity that is clear in every single episode.

If you haven't seen this show yet, be sure to check it out. I love it!
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Hollow Man (2000)
A film to take your breath away
27 November 2004
Kevin Bacon stars as the perfectly creepy scientist turned invisible man in this beautifully directed sci-fi/horror. The plot is frighteningly plausible and intricately woven, with each character having their own unique personality tied in with the consequences in what leads up to a climax that calls for either a sofa to hide behind, a deafening round of applause, or both. It's nice to see a modern movie that remains unceasingly interesting throughout, mixing horror with science and actually having a storyline as opposed to an excuse for bloodshed.

One of the things that I loved about this film was the special effects involved. They will truly creep you out and blow your mind simultaneously, especially the transformation scenes. This movie had the potential to be a complete disaster, another failed rework of a comic-book world. Instead, it is a fascinating tale of power, corruption and rage, with no unlikely explanations and a world so close to reality that afterwards you will find yourself looking around nervously every time you get changed, wondering if you are alone.

The only thing that might turn some viewers away is the gore involved. Some of the things that happen in it are quite shocking and can make you do anything from wincing to vomiting.

What I especially liked about it was that the characters are actually smart. Unlike most teen slasher movies, where the victims invariably run about screaming and waving their hands above their heads until they die, the people in this film know how to survive. It is just as well, because they are all scientists and you would expect them to do more than run away in an attempt to save their lives. I especially liked the performance by Greg Grunberg as the excitable and slightly immature Carter Abbey.

If this film is on, take a few hours to watch it. It will blow your mind. I give it 9/10.
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Harper in this film! Must be good...
13 November 2004
I loved this film mainly because it has GMW in it. I watched it casually with a friend once and about 10 minutes into I sat up really straight and said, "holy s-, that's Harper!" He is the best character in the whole film, even when... wait... no spoilers!

Seriously, if you haven't seen this movie then you are either crazy or you just haven't heard about it yet. If you haven't seen this film, trot down to your nearest HMV and buy it. It is AWESOME, incredibly funny and with some of the best actors in America/Canada I have ever seen. It made me laugh so much I was falling off my seat and the lovely gory death scenes are as brilliant as ever.
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Pleasantville (1998)
WOW! Go see this film.
27 September 2004
A surreal mixture of The Stepford Wives and Back To The Future, it's such a shame that this film was so overshadowed by The Truman Show, because it's a true film masterpiece. Although this film is mainly described as a comic fantasy, it's not all funny. There is a serious side to it, and underneath the fantastic special effects and nostalgia jokes lies a deeply woven subplot of racism and sexism which takes inspiration from things like the Holocaust. It's there to be seen if you look close enough.

The basic plot is two modern day teenagers being paid a visit by a smiley happy TV repair guy (Don Knotts) who gives them a very different kind of remote, which somehow sucks them into a black-and-white 1950's TV show called Pleasantville. Forced to assume the roles of Bud and Mary-Sue Parker (cue Spiderman joke), the two teenagers try to get along in a world that is absolutely perfect, where firemen are required only for getting cats out of trees because nothing can catch fire, where double-beds are unheard of and where the basketball team is undefeated because they can't fail to put the ball in the basket.

The acting in this film is very good in some places and not so good in others. Reese Witherspoon is perfectly accurate in her portrayal of Jennifer, the spoiled, sexy sister of the slightly geeky David (Tobey Maguire). Although Tobey is good in some films, I don't think he was a strong enough actor to support the character of David, especially at times when he has to swear and hit people, although he does well in quieter, more sensitive times of the film. Also, keep an eye out for a member of the Buffy cast in a very minor role.

This is definitely a film to suit anyone. If you're a real thinker you can appreciate the underlying issues and hints at other points in history. If not, you can just enjoy the fun and surreality of the film, especially the great way they mix colour with black and white. If you get the opportunity, definitely take a couple of hours to watch it.
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