nachocheeselibertad Reviews

Called to Duty (2023)

Called To Booty

[1/10 · 25 July 2023]

This movie has a lower production value and worse acting than adult films.

It's possibly the worst movie I've seen in recent memory.

Every single aspect of film making was executed at a homemade level.

Even the lighting looked like it was rigged with house lamps and the color temperature reminded me of Sony Handycam's.

Terrible, absolutely horrendous acting. I'm not kidding, children in school plays often act better than this.

Worst story, character arcs, and screen writing that I think I've ever seen. No one who worked on this movie should be allowed back into movie production.

Movies like this don't deserve to be made. It was a waste of money and time, and it's an embarrassment on their careers.

Dane Cook: Above it All (2022)

I don't remember actually laughing

[2/10 · 22 June 2023]

The entire special feels like Dane trying to show everyone that he grew up and has more mature priorities and values these days.. immediately after telling everyone about his 23 year old girlfriend who was 17 when they started dating.

Generally, his comedy has lost all of its bark and bite, and this performance was more like listening to someone drone on and on rather than an actual comedian.

Maybe he was going for a softer, more genuine approach to his delivery, where you feel like you're talking to a friend, but what comes across is a mediocre performance.

And seriously dude, it's weird to have a girlfriend who's that young. No one who's in their 20's is mature or even has a concept of adulthood like you do by the time you're almost 50. Gross.

Castaways (2023)

Truly terrible everything

[3/10 · 1 May 2023]

They did a good job with their very limited budget, but that's the only positive thing I can think of. The acting was tremendously bad, I know people who are depressed or otherwise hiding an internal struggle who do a better job every day.

It would have helped to hire someone who knows the first thing about survival, but apparently making a survival movie where the survival aspect is anything close to accurate or genuine is WAY too much effort for studios who'd rather lose money on the movie instead of risk making something of quality.

I'm getting very tired seeing terrible writers, actors, directors, everything ruin the survival genre so that large studios think it can't be profitable for larger audience.

True Lies (2023)

Limited by its budget and mediocre writers

[4/10 · 14 April 2023]

Could have been good but the writing is very CW, like it was outsourced to high school drama students.

This is also an example of either having a big enough budget, or not doing it at all. Because the limited budget was very obvious.

Generally very predictable, from dialogue to plot. I'm not talking finishing sentences, I'm talking guessing their entire responses.

The technobabble was also genuinely terrible, and the visualizations on the phone screens are cartoonish, like when it magically zooms in on enemies a mile away.

I try to suspend disbelief but when ZERO effort is made by the creative team, it gets difficult. Help us out, try to care about your VERY EASY jobs.

Outlast (2023– )

A survival show where no one has survival skills

[3/10 · 11 March 2023]

Heavily flawed attempt to make a show that's as good as Alone.

No one knows how to start a fire or properly process kindling in a wet environment. They could have all put some in their pockets and their body heat would have dried it better than that.

They don't know how to choose shelter locations, choosing cold sinks, aka, locations where cold air naturally sinks and stays.

They made poor use of the surrounding geography, very amateur, boy scout-like shelters.

They're bad at locating, filtering, and boiling water.

They're bad at foraging.

The one trap they showed was terrible, it wouldn't work and it showed a lack of understanding of the fundamentals of trapping. There's a reason 22 gauge wire is the most common, and when you don't have wire, and the cordage is soft and flexible, that's when you have to add tension and a trigger mechanism, like a spring pole.

This show already looks like it would have been better if, instead of using the excuse of wanting diverse contestants but ending up getting clueless people who aren't entertaining to watch... maybe hire a single expert, aka someone with real credentials like having gone to BOSS, and vet the contestants for basic skills.

Even the contestants here who claim to have hunting and fishing experience, and more, clearly didn't apply those skills in a survival setting. It's super easy to use modern hunting gear, sit in a metal stand, etc. Not easy to spot and stalk at less than 25 yards, average, in dense woods.

I'm positive that a single boy scout knows more than these adult "survivalists" who lack basic skills like knots, carving, fire starting, shelter building, locating and boiling water, and more.

It's a success if the point of this show is to prove that even people who are convinced they have outdoor skills because they went camping a lot or grew up hunting, really don't know anything and clearly haven't even read a single book on it.

But for those of us who are aching for another show like Alone, or even a better version. For those of us with as many outdoor skills as a 12 year old child, we're once again let down.

Bunker (I) (2021)

Someone tell Jenny Perlin that "dead slow" isn't a pace

[1/10 · 6 March 2023]

The most boring documentary I've ever seen, loaded with bland, empty shots that last three times longer than necessary and lack context or information, while no investigating was done, no information is provided at any time, there's no narrative, and there isn't even evidence these men are lonely per the synopsis...

This is more like random clips from trips to meet interesting people that completely wasted the opportunity to learn about them and how they live.

Presumably the "director" wanted the content to speak for itself except the end result is a movie that seems like it wasn't directed at all.

CSI: Cyber (2015–2016)

Worst depictions of technology since Hackers (1995)

[1/10 · 6 March 2015]

Writing, acting, everything mediocre, just another crime show with generic characters, the hardcore geek, etc.

However, every single depiction of technology is horrible incorrect, it's like they want anyone that's technologically educated to want to turn the show off.

This show is very popular in a forum called "It's a unix system" that makes fun of horribly inaccurate and downright ignorant computer use in television and film.

CSI: Cyber would benefit from hiring an actual geek to consult on the mind-numbingly poor depictions of anything hacking, programming, or computer related.

And seriously, the acting is so mediocre, there's a million better things to watch.