Change Your Image
patrick-oc
Reviews
You (2018)
One-dimensional, poorly acted, badly directed and opaque.
I can only assume the "I've read the book already" brigade have just graduated from comics or maybe they've read a Dan Brown (hoping they'll get the irony of that statement).
This is NOT good TV. It is dreary in a way that seems undeliberate (not like for example, Luther that is meant to be that way), the music is almost unbearable I would imagine to anyone that wasn't an EMO in the 90s and now protests about veganism and the right to bear hairy armpits.
It is directed in a stinted way that doesn't befit the story, which incidentally is easily predicted.
The characters are one-dimensional. The lead should stick to audio books. His face has 2 expressions at best. Pretty sure he scratched his nose and got a splinter.
The rest of the acting is 70s/80s B-Movie at best, especially by the female cast.
I found myself watching and thinking that I don't care about any of these characters, I hope they all die so I can watch something else.
I can only assume it's high rating on here is mostly to do with bots or employees of Netflix?
Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (2018)
Potential but...
There's no jeopardy. None. We know she grows up to be a teenage witch then goes off to college, so let's not pretend she's ever in mortal peril. Find me another hook? There's some clever writers, you can do it.
Whilst you're at it, please hire Michelle Gomez another voice coach. Or even better, just let her use her own voice. She is a fabulous actress, wonderful to look at and fills every role she's ever taken, full of awesomeness. Except for when she speaks in This show and I'm transported to any of a thousand park benches in the UK, occupied by a drunken Glaswegian.
The cast is really strong. Please, give them a script and storylines to reflect their talent. Lighten up a bit too. I couldn't care less what path Sabrina chooses. Neither are exactly free of teen angst or dreariness. At least Buffy had some humour. And she clearly provided some storylines along with Supernatural.
And to the director: THERES NO SHAME IN HAVING YOUR CAMERAS IN FOCUS.
I won't give up on you. I still have visions of marrying Mellisa Joan, so I feel I owe it to myself.
Top Dog (2014)
Old dog
Straight off, I'm not a huge fan of the genre. I find the Mockney accents and the incessant "Geez" muttered from the edge of a sneer, a bit cringeworthy. I don't generally find it possible to believe in the characters and be taken away from the thought that they're all RADA trained actors that call each other darling when the cameras are off (Big exception to that is Tom Hardy of course!).
So I watched this film not expecting much and wasn't disappointed.
The overall story was extremely predictable, I was never at the edge of my seat. I thought it was poorly directed in so much that it didn't build tension, it didn't develop the characters to create any empathy with any of them and more importantly, when our lead has reached his crux moment we were treated to a flashback montage that wouldn't have looked out of place in a 1980s episode of Neighbours.
The acting was average overall. The best friend's wife clearly used Waynetta Slob as her inspiration (although at least her accent sounded more authentic than others).
The lead actor needed to shave and punch the make-up artist who apparently hasn't worked in Hi-Def before.
Vincent Regan was the most believable in my eyes, always a pleasure to watch. He stole every scene although that wasn't exactly the Brink's Mat Heist. Ricci Harnett is OK but better as a henchman than a boss. Jason Flemyng must have been too busy working on good projects for a real part in this film. Shame, because he's a fantastic actor.
To summarise, don't bother watching it. You already know what happens or will quickly get to the point where you don't care.
Watch the Offender instead.