phoenison Reviews

Thousand Fangs (2021– )

It was OK

[5/10 · 12 March 2022]

It had potential. Great production quality, I found the acting good. Everyone's soul was in this, I felt, except for the writers. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but honestly I feel like I wasted nearly 7 hours of my life for a story to go absolutely nowhere. The monster designs were phenomenal, there was such a creep factor to the way some scenes played out, but there wasn't really a storyline. I'm all for changing up the expectations and letting evil win once in a while if there's a point to it, but there was no point to just watching tons of soldiers die violently over and over. Someone would have to get smart at some point - I guess this wasn't the type of show to showcase smart characters, just people who either run into suicide missions or cower and wait to be slaughtered. Not good.

NOS4A2 (2019–2020)

It's Okay

[6/10 · 12 September 2020]

Interesting characters, very interesting premise... I should have loved it but I found myself getting bored with the predictability of the storyline. Sometimes these network TV show adaptations can really drag out a story, although I'm not sure if this timeline and set of events closely matches the book (this is one I have not read). I enjoyed watching Vic as a character and she is definitely the only reason I watched this for two seasons - she is persistent and kind, despite coming from a slightly broken home. There were a couple of indicators in the season 2 finale that this could continue for a 3rd season but I'm out, these two seasons were pretty exhausting for me and there are a lot of other great series to watch nowadays.

Midsommar (2019)

Predictable but still fascinating to watch

[9/10 · 25 September 2019]

If you've seen the trailer, you'll pretty much know how 65% of the movie is going to play out. However, I have to say that Ari has an interesting way of filming and character development. These people are intriguing to watch - even though I guessed through most of the commune's customs, the scenes played out well because of the reactions of the visitors. I will admit I was very hesitant to watch this because of the ending of Hereditary, but I felt like the ending of Midsommar complimented the rest of the film even though I found it predictable. If you're going to watch this, if this is something that interests you, I advise watching the extended version that I just watched. It's about 3 hours long and I even took a 10-minute break at the end of each hour - I treated it like a 3-episode mini-series. The camera work in Ari's films is impressive, whether it's a scrolling look at the road or a horrendous death (hardly any sound effects and it always feels so nonchalant, which is how it truly feels to witness something so horrible in real life - the shock immediately settles in and shakes you to your core).

Unfriended: Dark Web (2018)

Off to a Good Start but Fell Flat

[6/10 · 8 September 2019]

Perfect for watching at home on a big screen. Slow build for character development which was appreciated. I loved the use of the on-screen apps and hacks. I felt the creep factor really pulled me in and kept me intrigued. Cons: I personally felt the pixelation of the "antagonist" was annoying and unnecessary. The goofy "reasoning" shown later felt like a weak justification for this. The other issue I have with movies like this is the god-like ability of the "antagonist". I get it, it's the Dark Web we're dealing with in this movie but I honestly start losing interest when I realize there won't be any survivors. And then I feel jaded, like I wasted my time. Dark endings work for intelligent movies like Invasion of the Body Snatchers because viewers are given a glimpse of hope. The climax of this film just made me feel depressed and hopeless, not thought-provoking at all.

Into the Dark: Down (2019) Season 1, Episode 5

This episode was not for me

[4/10 · 7 February 2019]

This is probably one of the more engaging episodes. It was well acted. It just felt rapey and drawn out, I had to fast-forward through a good portion of it. Super-predictable.

The Nutcracker and the Four Realms (2018)

Entertaining for Me

[7/10 · 5 November 2018]

This movie was gorgeous - the costumes, the actors, the sets, and the CGI-animated characters. For me, I felt the music was sprinkled throughout at just the right moments - if I wanted the musical, I would go see it on stage or via a recorded session. This movie was not intended to be a rehash of the musical but instead it was meant to serve as an interpretation of the story. It had all of the right elements for me, as a viewer, and the story picked up about 15 minutes in. I'm not saying this movie was amazing - I love all genres and a rating of a 7 from me means it could've been better but I'm not asking for my money back because the film did its job. I'm really interested to see if kids today love this movie because I feel we adults critique this film based on decades of growing up with the musical.

Ghosted (I) (2017)

Started Out Good But Then

[6/10 · 26 July 2018]

The episodes up to Episode 9 were perfection. Not sure what happened after that but it's like the joyful soul of the show was snatched away. After Episode 9, I'm not sad that this show was cancelled. If the events had gone differently, I would've been down for the ride. It's like they hired the writers of "Hello, Ladies" after Episode 9 or something.

Keep Watching (2017)

Rehashed Plot but Decent Acting

[2/10 · 19 July 2018]

I should've done the opposite of the title and stopped watching. What was the point of making this film if the antagonists win and I've just watched two whole families get butchered? I love horror and suspense films but this is just sick and wrong. I enjoy characters who can fight back from the get-go. These characters just conveniently clam up when the killers show up onscreen, no one has the guts to attempt to fight. I don't fault the actors, though - they all brought their A game. The writer, though... I get it, though. You're trying to make a statement about how we as a society seem to collectively enjoy watching horrible reality play out in streaming sources nowadays - it's just a message I felt was delivered without a decent ending to the film. The twist was OK, but it was obvious when one of the killers was unmasked. Therefore, I personally felt the ending scene was ridiculous and bumped my original feeling of a 7 rating down to a 2. Because why in the world did I waste 89 minutes just to watch some horrible thing that I probably read about in the news - there was no catharsis, just frustration. I'm glad I waited to watch this for free.

Vanishing on 7th Street (2010)

Dark While in the Dark

[9/10 · 23 January 2011]

This movie slapped me from a direction I did not expect. Not only are the lights turned off for most of this film, but the storyline itself was actually dark. No cuddly baby-steps into the horror - this film just jumps right in. I felt as scared of the dark as I did when I was a child. Well, to be honest, I am still frightened of the dark - a good-looking man like Tom Hardy or Colin Farrell or even Hayden Christensen (should be my pictures on his loft's walls, just sayin') makes the dark bearable, but the dark is still scary as hell. The special effects were pretty good - not supreme top-notch, but perfect for the atmosphere this movie invokes. The background stories of each major character tied me to the screen and it's hard to classify this film as a horror film because I felt much emotion for each character. Yes, the dark is frightening in this film, but I was definitely more moved by the results of the character's actions/reactions. Pretty good story - it was like being taken to the Twilight Zone, which is a rare trip these days.

Children of the Corn (2009 TV Movie)

As Expected, Sadly...

[4/10 · 26 September 2009]

I had hoped for a much better adaptation of the story, but I am reminded that most of the writers for television that work in Hollywood are worth only a quarter of the salary that they earn. In watching this flick, I had recently watched the original with Linda Hamilton and Peter Horton, so I tried to keep an extremely positive outlook. I was glad to see that the couple casted in this remake was an interracial couple: a white male with a black wife. I thought this was a nice casting opportunity that might add a great twist to the story. In the back of my mind, I wondered: Hmm, did they cast a black wife only so that they could kill one of the main characters? Lo and behold, who dies violently when the kids surface and attack? Her character was terribly written anyhow, in my opinion. She was constantly bickering her husband, alluding to how his hard-headed courage stemmed from his experience in Vietnam. It was like she didn't know how to shut the hell up. It was also like I was seeing a black-faced minstrel mock-up of what someone thinks a black woman is like. Not all black women are difficult in personality, in the real world. I would have been fine with her being difficult if the writers had given us viewers more of a back story as to where her anger stemmed from. Did someone watch "True Blood" and think an angry Tara- like character was needed? Well, "True Blood" gives viewers MANY reasons as to why Tara is difficult (a drunken mother, growing up in a racist environment, deep feelings of loneliness). The children were well cast in this update, though. The children are ultimately the reason to watch the film, but I wasn't emotionally invested in the couple who are trying to get through this. I didn't care if either one died, but I was sadly disappointed that the black chick gets hers first, which shows that the writers are still narrow-minded. This is why foreign horror flicks are becoming more and more popular: America with all of its stereotypes (on race, sexuality, etc.) allows itself to be handicapped in its paradigm collectively. The children were awesome though, as previously stated... this film just needed better main characters to be concerned about in order to keep an audience engaged and from changing the channel.

The Invasion (I) (2007)

It was what I expected...

[10/10 · 25 August 2007]

Considering that this flick started as the fourth installment to the "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" saga, my interest was completely perked up at the first mention of this film. I am glad to see that the famous shrill was left out (something the old black and white version never had) and there was a new innovative way of the invasion process. Can you imagine if something of this magnitude ever occurred here? The film had a creepy touch to it. The alleged action scenes were not overdrawn IMHO as many message board junkies were stating. What, was she not supposed to drive the car fast...? The ending (which I will not ruin here) was wise (considering my stress level). It may be a loooong time before I ever go out to eat again...

Endgame (2001)

Very Interesting ...

[7/10 · 20 March 2007]

The storyline and acting was considerably good for a gay movie, but most foreign (outside of the US) gay films have amazing plots. This was a thriller. Daniel Newman's character could have been played by a girl and it still would have had a similar emotional impact. I didn't feel that his homosexuality was the focus of the movie - the strong points are focused on the environment that he is trapped in and the bonds of friendship he makes with his neighbors who end up helping him out.

***Spoiler section*** Now, why this movie lost 3 points is due to the main character sleeping with the female neighbor at the cottage. This really threw my attention to the film. I understand that the hustler was experiencing sex with someone he loved for the first time, but it seemed to deter as a tangent on something that didn't necessarily need to be addressed in the film. The virtue of innocence for this character seems conflicted now, because he is sleeping with a woman whose heart belongs to another man, which in turn seems to substantiate the theory that all gay men are whores or sluts and have to sleep with something everyday. If I were a straight married man watching this film, my wife would now be off limits as to hanging out with her gay male friends. One of the joys of being a gay male is that you can hang out with gorgeous women (single or married) and have a good time and there is no sexual tension. So the loss of three points is due to this lapse of judgment on the character's part - I felt so much for the hustler until this point.

Overall, this was a good flick. It wasn't a waste of time - and the solo shower scene was immaculately filmed. I didn't know a white boy could have a back end like that!!!

Seed of Chucky (2004)

Loved It!!!

[14 November 2004]

I love Chuckie and this was one of his best films. Some will say that this movie is a disappointment, but I went to this film with hopes that this would be a film about Chuckie and his family. This is not really a horror movie - there's violence but I wasn't ever really frightened at all in the movie, but at this point I think we are a little beyond being frightened by a killer doll (on screen - in real life, things would be different). This film really showed the hearts of Tiffany and Chuckie. Glen/Glenda is just fantastic - the storyline centering around this child was the best decision for the film. I'm really glad that it didn't center around a person being tormented by the dolls - I know that it seemed to center around Jennifer Tilly, but she was here and there. I think I was satisfied with Jennifer's performance and the Gina Gershon jokes were great. The fact that Jennifer could willing insert fat jokes about herself shows that Jennifer really is the wonderful girl I always pictured her as. The only person I was slightly disappointed with was Redman - and this is not entirely his fault. I think his character should have had more "character" - he was such a static character, never-changing or really reacting to anything. The cinematography seemed to give a lot of closeup facial shots, which I thought was very intimate. Overall, I give it an 8 out of 10 - it'll be added to my collection when it comes out on DVD.