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Mean Girls (2024)
Horrible Knock-Off
An unnecessary movie when the original holds up so well.
This one had all the jokes, but only the punchline, leaving out crucial parts that made the original jokes funny. It was rushed. Probably to add in the music.
Which brings me to this point: the actors couldn't sing.
They also couldn't act, which also killed the movie. Even if they had kept the original script, none of the new actors would have been able to pull it off in the same way.
The whole thing was pointless, and a waste of time. Please leave the music to Broadway, and if you want the movie, just watch the original.
Please stop doing this to our favorite movies. If you're going to remake it, make it better or stop touching it.
Pokemon konsheruju (2023)
Terrible
I love Pokémon. I have played every game, read every book, and watched every show/movie, and was excited for this series.
But this is terrible. The art style is awful. I hate stop motion and it isn't appropriate for Pokémon whose movements are supposed to be fluid and even magical.
The main character is completely unlikeable. She's just dumped. Great. I watch shows with that trope all the time, and it can be interesting, but give her a personality. She does nothing but exist and go where she is told.
The story is stupid, and it isn't even really about Pokémon. They just happen to be in the story (sometimes).
A complete waste of time.
Outlast (2023)
Alpha Team Deserves Jail
In America, theft, harassment, and stalking are crimes. It's terrible that Netflix promotes a show where bullying is seen as entertainment. Despicable. That behavior carries over from their actual lives, and I feel sorry for the families and everyone who comes in contact with the members of the alpha and charlie teams.
It's great to have a dream, but getting it through greed and evil means will come back to bite you eventually. That prize money will be cursed. I hope it brings them no joy every day for the rest of their lives.
So that's the strongest review I've ever written, but I'm so sick of these shows that start off interesting and turn into the same greedy people playing dirty. Just learn your survival stuff and win if you can. Or let the players shoot each other with paint guns and if one gets hit, they "die." That's real wilderness survival. Take someone's stuff, you die.
Quintessentially British (2022)
Boring
I have never watched a documentary about England or Britain that bored me this much before. I've watched ones that didn't cover topics I was interested in, but I had never before watched one that covered topics I liked and made me bored until this one.
People talked about things more than they showcased them in the documentary. They could have done more voiceovers and still showed the events or places. But instead it was mostly inside with people sitting down and talking.
And there were too many shots of cars. Show me the English countryside. Show me London. Show me Scotland. Or Wales. Why am I looking at the inside of a small room at a person in a chair?
Teen Wolf: The Movie (2023)
Disrespectful
This movie contained some nostalgic moments and nods to the original tv show, and it had some moments of humor. But overall, I felt very disrespected by the movie. Teen Wolf had a habit of laziness in the last few seasons, and the movie shows it. There is nothing new.
With Stiles missing, Stydia broken up, and Derek's death, the movie ruined everything that was good about the show, including character relationships. All in an effort, it seems, to give Scott a ready-made family. He had to put no effort into wooing Allison, because she is already in love with him.
Never mind that Scott should have selflessly sacrificed himself rather than let Derek burn to death in front of his son, Scott instead gets the girl, and gets to adopt a teenage boy, who is also a werewolf.
So disrespectful to the show and to fans.
Morbius (2022)
Not the Right Story
This movie does not do justice to the character. The story was so off it feels weird that I even liked it at all.
But I did. For a modern action "villain" movie, it checked all the boxes, and I didn't actually hate the story.
I do wish they'd done the real backstory though. It's so good. And sad.
A Madea Homecoming (2022)
Downhill All the Way
Tyler Perry's Madea movies used to be good. They had meaning and comedy and class. And now they're just the same foul-mouthed junk you can find anywhere.
Knives Out (2019)
It's good but...
This movie isn't just an Agatha Christie homage. It's a blatant rip off of Crooked House, which I had just watched the week before. It also doesn't acknowledge that it's based on Crooked House in the film or description and presents itself as "new." That's really irritating. And so my rating stands.
Hotel Amazon (2015)
Let's Tear Down the Amazon
What a great idea for a show. Let's destroy the Amazon to make a profit. Oh wait. People are already doing that. Let's make a reality show about it like it isn't despicable.
Secrets of the Zoo (2018)
Lovely Show About Zoo Vets
I just wanted to learn about the animals, not see surgeries. I'd rather watch the other zoo shows. There is more diversity in the episodes.
Overall, it's not bad, but it could have been much better. I think they need to rename it.
The Ingenuity of the Househusband (2021)
Close, but it missed the mark.
This was still fun and interesting, but it really missed the humor of the way Tatsuya says things as an ex-yakuza. That's the main part of the story, after all.
Partly Cloudy (2009)
Absolutely Adorable
I would watch a series about these characters. This was adorable and so sweet!
Lady and the Tramp (2019)
Didn't completely make sense
I did enjoy this movie, but it kind of failed.
They took out so many of my favorite parts from the original. Jim Dear and Darling didn't really act like themselves. In the original, they weren't that ignorant of Lady's needs and introduced her to the baby right away-this is important for dogs to learn the baby's place in the pack/family.
I didn't mind Jacque being a girl, but it was weird at first. Jacque and Trusty really seemed stupid though.
The cats not being Siamese made no sense, especially when they got a song anyway.
And I hated that The Tramp didn't call Lady "Pigeon," or "Pidge." That was a huge thing and showed his interest but also a bit of his street dog character.
I don't think I'll watch it again. I'll stick with the original.
Nature: Sharks of Hawaii (2021)
Awesome!
It was great learning about Hawaii and the sharks and other ocean life that lives there. It was really annoying that the narrator kept mispronouncing zooplankton, which is zoEplankton.
Survivor (2000)
Awful
Fake and absolutely terrible for the environment. Please stop.
The Secret Garden (2020)
Terrible adaptation
This is a terrible adaptation if you've read and enjoyed the original story. There is no point to this movie.
The acting was decent.
Tiny Creatures (2020)
Really bad
I hope it was just editing in the first episode and they didn't actually set up the kangaroo rat to be shot at in its can. Because if they did, there's no excuse for it. There's nothing wrong with filming animals as they live every day. You don't have to make it more exciting. It's nature. Sometimes things happen. Sometimes nothing happens. Don't script it like that. Very disappointed.
The Call of the Wild (2020)
Terribly Done
If you're not even going to try to do justice to a beloved classic, stop touching it. The film was badly done with CGI animals that didn't even look real. For such a powerful story that needs emotion, it fell completely flat.
Seriously. Stop.
Joker (2019)
No Jokes Here
The acting was good. But the story was not. Not for a film about Batman's arch nemesis. This was a movie that could have been about anyone with a mental illness and family troubles who gets bullied and picked on and goes off the deep end and they really failed with it. I expected more. So disappointed that I sat through the whole thing. Glad I didn't pay for it.
Holmes & Watson (2018)
Really bad
Probably the worst Sherlock Holmes movie I've ever seen. It's probably the worst Will Ferrell movie too, but it's up there with Step Brothers. None of it was funny. It was just stupid. And it genuinely disrespected a great literary legend.
Vice (2018)
History in there somewhere.
Incredibly liberally biased. Instead of letting history speak for itself, they had commentary. Incredibly biased commentary. They could have done a lot more if they'd listened to the advice all aspiring writers get in some seminar or another: "Show. Don't tell."
Fahrenheit 451 (2018)
Worst Film Adaptation Ever
Not only were several essential characters missing, along with several essential plot points, the film replaced them with confusing ridiculous things, and a love interest who adds nothing to the story. This had nothing to do with Ray Bradbury's Farenheit 451; it only stole the title.