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Reviews
The Open House (2018)
Waste of time
Acting, as good as possible for the two mains. Writing, pure shite. Directing, shite on a shingle. Level of drama, never existed, no tension. Random actions occurring with little relation to anything related to cause and effect.
You will be more disappointed the longer that you watch it, especially and including up and until the very stupid end.
Just a waste of time. Maybe the actors needed Screen Actors Guild Union time, maybe somebody needed a tax write-off. I don't know why this movie was made, it wasn't for entertainment. It is even too crappy to become a cult classic for crappy movies. blech
The OA (2016)
Failure of writing
I don't know why I don't give it a one, wait, I'll do that. It is a waste of time designed to be just okay enough to get another season to sort out the mess, thereby wasting more time. A troll of a series grabbing from many genres without a core. At the end I absolutely do not care if she was delusional, inter-spatial, or an angel; the last scene was just ridicules and exploitative. That last scene was like the click on a mousetrap where most viewers should be hit in the face with the utter realization that the story never had a purpose or a meaning other than "Stay tuned for Season 2!". A troll.
Somehow this got produced. Maybe it pitched better than it watched, there was potential there but I personally did not like the NDE segues with the mystic after world angel's 5 movements so clumsily brought into the real world as a portal mechanism. It went from Sci-Fi to fantasy and the 5 movement parts were hard to look at and still maintain self respect. I like the idea of a delusional person dragging a following after them, who wouldn't in 2016... but pick a thread and complete it. Like I said, it is a troll of a series. I see why they did not advance it, a week of reviews would have made an opening disaster.
What we see is the decline of series television if it is picked up for a second season. It will set a precedent that eliminates reviews and dumps half baked scripts en masse and lets the the viewers pick winners and losers based on random variables like who has the time to waste versus people who would like some thought put into what goes onto Netflix. This is a Youtube series, not a subscription production.
It's All About Love (2003)
How not to write, act, direct... score is nice, pretty too
If it is all about love, then where is the love of the audience? There are two stories here co-joined in the most hideous and thoughtless of manners. In the first plot line we have a figure skater held captive by her family and forced to skate in spite of a heart condition that she doesn't know about
And then the estranged husband returns to get divorce papers signed, and he helps her to escape (which is what I should have done myself 10 minutes into it!) There's more extra crap in this plot line that doesn't develop either.
Plot line #2, the planet has lost gravity, selected people only, (except they float up so they got thems the antigravity- you tards!) in Uganda. (where are physicists without borders?) People die because their hearts are lonely. It snows in July in NYC. "You see peoples' hearts reflect the chaos of the world around them." which must have seemed profound when written under the influence of (?)Vodka, X, Blow, D-all-of-the-above. Modern polish existential drop-out curse the society's heartlessness, the planet is dying can't you see. All we need is love.
How did Claire and Joaquin get themselves into this? Is it sheer pride that makes these two think that they make this poop shine? It's a job? The skinny Penn brother has a remarkably stupid role with accent to go with it.
This is to movies what spam is to E-mail, keep it out of your in-box.