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Reviews
Le notti del terrore (1981)
Truly terrible film, insanely bad. Unintentionally hilarious
All these reviews raving about his film as if it's a lost classic!? Nope. No even close.
It is below trash. The worst acting you will see. Pathetic gore effects that I could have knocked up better in ten minutes, endless pointless shots of zombie slowly walking past camera, supposedly to build up some kind of tension ....all it builds is frustration and an urge to hit the fast forward button, just padding. Zzzzzzzz
Ugly balding old men getting off with women who wouldn't look twice at them in the real world for bad softcore porn scenes.
Freaky Google eyed man playing a child......who just wants to suck on his mom's nipples??!
Zero story.
People are remarking on the great gore!? It's just rubbish.......someone got paid to do that!? Really!? And it's just hilarious Papier mache masks....
The voice overs are funny. And the acting so over the top you can't help but feel puzzled at their over reactions.
Now.......does it fall into the so bad it's good.......well, yes. Few beers with friends and enjoy sitting shouting at the screen, telling the 'actors' to bloody do something except standing there going through their various scared faces instead of running to safety.
Every cliche imaginable poorly executed.
"Let's let them in, they obviously want something in the house".
Er!? Yeah....you ya plank! That really helped!?
Also has repeatedly shouting. "No, stop, go away" ever actually worked against monsters, killers etc!?? Not as if they are suddenly going to think "oh. Right ....they don't want to be killed ....bye"
It's not dark, it's not a classic, it's not better than or gorier than Zombie Flesheaters or Zombi Holocaust......so stop saying it is.
Even for its time it is bad.
Save your valuable time and go watch some Fulci instead, at least his gore is well done.
Bastille Day (2016)
Idris is as effortlessly cool as ever. Bring on 007
Really enjoyed this action thriller.
Great story, interesting characters and great action.
Proof if ever it were needed that Idris Elba is more than ready and capable of taking over the James Bond franchise.
Great screen presence. Super cool. Badass
Overlord (2018)
Expected more, trailer misleading. Missed opportunity
I had been lookin forward to this film since the first set pics were out. I love the Zombie Nazi genre (well most of it)
And when I saw this I thought ...wow, looks like good budget , respected producer.. some good gore stills.......
I watched it. Left disappointed. The scale that they portrayed it was going to be is misleading. I expected a grander, more epic feel, but it soon becomes a small claustrophobic piece mostly in two locations. The horror takes its time to appear and then it's only two or three reanimated soldiers......... I was expecting a small army against a platoon of men fighting for their lifes. Instead it was like Wolfenstein (as mentioned many times) but far less action or monsters.
The most inept Nazi soldiers ever. Enemy soldiers are sneaking about everywhere at ease..... seemingly.
Watch The Bunker or Outpost for better films instead and don be conned by this disappointment.
Don't get me wrong, it's well shot and acted, some good effects ......... But sadly lacking in any real storyline, character development or scale. Throwing a couple of reanimated soldiers in does not satisfy when was led to believe it was going to be was a crazy battle not just a bar fight. Guess that is a job well done for those that created the trailers.
Missed opportunity.
A Serious Man (2009)
This was a comedy?? Really.
I usually enjoy Coen brothers films but this was a really frustrating watch. It started well an then the character became irritating. What a pussy. Let's everyone walk all over him, so he kinda deserves his misfortune. .... Made him so unlikeable. What an idiot. I couldn't find the humour anywhere. I don't understand the high scores!? . Maybe sichophants who just love everything the Coen's do regardless of the film.
I got to the end .......well.......was it an ending? Just stopped......
Think you can only enjoy this If Jewish, too many supposed 'jokes' went over my head a religious mumbo jumbo.
Disappointed.
Mortal Engines (2018)
Forget the haters, this was brilliant sci fi escapism
Loved it.
The effects and cinematography were beautiful. A steampunk lover's dream. The storyline was better than I thought I was going to be.......acting great. Good backstory and development. Those that are saying rips from Star Wars are either trolling or just extremely ignorant, because Star Wars wasn't a rip off if several film's itself right!?
Different settings and environments. The cities on tracks worked better than could have imagined, and looked amazing.
I really hope there is a sequel.
I can wait to own this on 3D Blu Ray ......... Will there be an extended edition? Hope so. More the merrier.
Piercing (2018)
I was shouting GET ON WITH IT
A very disappointing film........ Really didn't enjoy. I was looking forward to it from the trailer but just goes nowhere and makes very little sense...... Totally stupid actions and terrible characters go from one crap line to another.
And then has the nerve to leave the viewer totally unsatisfied with a lazy ending that.......really isn't an ending at all. Avoid.
Robin Hood (2018)
Robin Hoodie and his Chavvy men. avoid.
I went into this film with an open mind, I put aside the bad vibes the trailer have me and tried to enjoy.
It was awful.
I really couldn't make it mind up what it wanted to be. It tried so hard to be 'cool' and that made it look even worse.
Bad CGI , ridiculous script, dodgy costumes, over the top right scenes that truly stretch credibility.
Some of the most cringey one liners ever........... It just didn't gel together at all, so badly written it's difficult to put into words. It crapped on a legendary story from a great height.
Badly cast too as he really isn't ready to take on such an iconic role. Still comes across as a chav Robin Have.
This film needs to be sealed in concrete and dumpedbin the North sea.
Terminator Genisys (2015)
Very poor cash in. Salvation was far better.
This film was badly miscast.
Huge cash in and poorly conceived.
The fans knew it.
It was seen by many to be the worst of the lot.
Salvation was far superior to this despite its script flaws. (Thanks writers strike)
Took a huge dump on the past quality films and Arnie was laughing all the way to the bank.
Avoid unless feeling a little nostalgic ......better choice go rewatch the first film.
Terminator Salvation (2009)
My favourite after the 1st. Less cheese.
It's a shame that the writers strike stopped Christopher Nolan adding his ideas to the script. S##t happens I guess.
But i enjoyed this film a lot. I thought the tone was more adult, less cheese and no supposedly comical bits that Arnie adds. Don't get me wrong I really love the first and most of the 2nd films but this seemed a little darker and the effects, action & cast were ace. .........the scrip isnt terrible but it definately wasnt ready for filming and it's always a worry when still making changes two weeks before filming starts. Producer pressure no doubt as usual.
I would have loved to have seen a trilogy of this.......shame. instead we were subjected to the dross that was Terminator Genysis!!! . .......in comparison Salvation is a masterpiece.
Escape Room (2017)
Believe the reviews.......this is Bad. Avoid.
A very poor Saw wannabe with characters so annoying I was longing for them to die......which took far too long, becomes boring. Cheap, crap puzzles and lame effects. Like a bad college media project.
I usually enjoy these b movies as guilt pleasure, but this was frustratingly boring. Zero story, lazy.
Underworld: Blood Wars (2016)
Kate the vamp babe returns. I enjoyed, so will you.
Nowhere near as bad as people are saying here. It's not as good as the first three but it is still a fun action fun, vampires and lycans movie.
My one real gripe is that it all felt a bit rushed. The war could have been grander and paced better. Probably producers interfering wanting a commercial easy run time.
The makers of this franchise have lost the feel of the first film. The first Underworld borrowed heavily from other films like The Crow and The Matrix and that was what made it so cool. It was dark gothic scenery and matrix style action moves and slow motion. Kate looking incredible helped also. I miss that kind of underworld.
Second time I've watched and was even better each viewing. Kate still looks incredible. I'd love to see another film.
Switch brain off and enjoy it for what it is, a fantasy horror action film. And it delivers that in droves.
Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)
Enjoyable. Kick arse action.
Some amazing action as expected. Nick Fury set piece was really good. I have always found Captain America to be my least favourite character in the other films , too moralistic and wholesome zzzzz, lookin forward to his exit in End Game. But this film delivers some fun action scenes, Black Widow being as hot as ever, the introduction of Falcon and Winter Soldier are most welcome. Nina massively original story and a little predictable with regards to the main baddie. One of the better Marvel film's. ..........one massive him puzzles me though....Where the hell were the other Avengers whilst this stuff was going on? Makes no sense??? Would they just let this all happened without getting involved.....especially IronMan. Hmmmmmm..
Viking Siege (2017)
Poor......but seen far worse (Dead Trigger anyone?)
Seen far worse film's. But in the end I was a fast forward through the weak 'story'! Until something happened. I have given it two points 1. for the hot women and 2. the gore effect ...... Which were better than usual film of this budget. (Although they do become very repetitive) ......acting wasn't that terrible.
But I'd say avoid by keep an eye out for the woman who did all the effects in the film. Potential. (no.......she's not my wife ha ha)
The House That Jack Built (2018)
Enjoyable but not as brutal as reported serial killing as Art
I had been lookin forward to seeing this for a long time, read about I being really brutal and violent.
I did enjoy the film a lot, but was disappointed with the lack of any real gore and far more violent film's out there that actually show more obtye murders. I guess I'm a little desensitized to it all but wanted more .......so don believe the hype about I being overly nasty.
I found the film to be darkly comedic.
Enjoyable and I'll be adding It to my collection for sure.
Taken (2017)
8 for the first season but 2 for second
I really enjoyed the first season. The frustration and obsession you could see as he longed to avenge his sister's murder were well delivered. Seeing his character learn to trust and become part of the team was also a nicely done. The different characters in the team really made it better. Each with tyeivown personality. It had a Homeland, Blacklist feel to it and I was hooked. ASHA his gf was stunning also so that helped. 😉
Then.......... The second season. What the hell?? Changed the entire feel. Dropped the team. Big mistake. The first episode was enjoyable by then it just plodded alone until I couldn't watch anymore. I missed the team. ASHA was just dropped like a hobbrick with a one minute dialogue .... I would have been better to have her die and give the main character more drive and focus than to just write her of like that. Cop out.
Rebooting the show......why?
If it's no broken.......why fix?
It's a mistake we all felt an they must be kick
Peppermint (2018)
Enjoyable if slightly rushed revenge flick
I was surprised by this film. It is a usual leave brain at door revenge flick with more than a touch of John Wick influence.
Jennifer Garner does a great job though and as proven before she can deliver action in a believable way (and her stunt double of course.)
I did think that I felt a little rushed and an extra 15 minutes added to help explain what she had been up to in the 5 years away to prepare herself would have really helped and perfectly set up the "oh you guys are in trouble now" moment when she finally returns.......but, instead it just jumps in and the importance killings ....the ones who should family aren't even shown, so I all felt a bit rushed and muddled in the first part of the film.
Still, that aside I did enjoy and would love to see a sequel where the Cartel seeks retribution and she then goes after them.