yank_soto Reviews

Serial Killer (2002 Video)

Awful

[16 March 2005]

This movie is the definition of inept film-making at it's absolute worst!! Another totally unoriginal and uninspired backyard home video made by a bunch of people who have no business ever being in front of or behind a camera. The director of this film has no talent and he seems all too proud to prove that fact with this "serial killer film". The film is supposed to be creepy and scary but it's neither thanks to his awful "direction" and his garbage script. The actors are every bit as wretched as the director in that none of them deliver a performance at all worth remembering. I also have no idea why so many directors insist on throwing Joel Wynkoop into their movie's because he's probably the worst actor ever put on video.

The problem with these type of films is that they actually manage to get released. People then buy them expecting a semi professional piece of work which is not at all what we get. The people who insist on making garbage like this should stick to trading copies with their friends because it's a complete rip off to charge people for this crap.

The Source (2001)

SO SO BAD!!!

[15 April 2004]

I am on a roll. It seems like every movie I see lately is total trash! Not trash in a good sense, I mean bottom of the barrel, "why did this crap even get made" kind of trash.

This movie almost makes some of the other garbage films I've seen lately look good but then again, maybe not. Garbage movies are garbage movies and this, this thing is pathetic!

It's not a camcorder special. Not a backyard home video like Nikos, Shatter Dead or Maplewoods. This piece of junk is actually shot on film and had somewhat of a budget, not a huge budget but more then the backyard epic b-films.

The acting in this movie is HORRID!!!!!!! The acting is so bad that it makes one of those old 70's kung fu movie look awesome! It's that bad! How did these people get jobs as actors?! How did the director get this film made?! The special effects, these are so bad that they almost need to be seen to be believed! There's just no way to get across how inept this movie is. It's almost a joke.

My question is. Is it this easy to go out and make a movie? Well judging from this and the other garbage I've been seeing lately, it obviously is!

Scrapbook (2000 Video)

Don't believe it's hype!!

[7 April 2004]

What a waste of time and money this overrated piece of crap was.

I was pretty excited to see this movie. Most of the reviews I read on the independent horror websites made it sound like it was a new violent and disturbing classic. While it does go out of it's way to be offensive, it fails on every level. The acting and directing is what one would expect from a backyard home video and that kills any chance of getting behind the cardboard characters.

This movie is not below the level of an Ed Wood film like Shatter Dead, Nikos the Impaler or countless other backyard horror videos but it's also no where near the classic that the independent horror websites would have you believe.

The Christmas Season Massacre (2001 Video)

This movie is one of the worst of all time!

[6 April 2004]

First off, I saw another reviewer said this movie was "fantastic". Well nothing could be further from the truth! This movie is complete garbage!!! A moronic horror comedy that is NOT even slightly funny!! Don't take that mean that it's so bad that it's good because it's not. It's a total waste of time and money!

Here's what I see in this waste of a DVD. A group of friends get together on a weekend, get drunk and then decide to make a backyard video. They grab Mom and Dad's video camera and start coming up with scenes on the spot. They all get a big kick out of watching themselves mug for the camera. They figure, if they think it's funny then everyone will think it's funny. Well, they're wrong. This backyard home video is garbage. The "acting" and comedic gore effects are lousy but I guess that's to be expected since this is nothing more then a home video.

On the bright side, I guess the fact that this crap got out there gives hope to anyone out there who wants to make a movie. If these people could get their movie made and released on DVD then anyone can!

0/10-- Save your money.

Shatter Dead (1994)

Not a film for Zombie film fans

[1 April 2004]

More regrets:

I have to be the biggest sucker in the world. What other person would go out and buy so many of these backyard home video horror movies? Why did I buy into all the hype that these little genre websites give to these pieces of garbage!?

Well I've learned my lesson. Yes, I was an idiot to go out and buy so many of these films but having done so, I feel safe in saying that any positive reviews that junk like this gets has to be written by cast members or the directors themselves because there's no way anyone besides people involved who could actually like this crap.

First off, this is not a movie for fans of traditional zombie films! Shatter Dead is a cheap looking home video. It's not a horror film in any sense, it's nothing more then a wanna be art film. It's got the most vile looking cast ever assembled to carry the lame story forward. It's got the lowest production values I've ever seen and I've seen a lot of these type films lately. There was no way of getting behind any of the character's because they all sucked! A bunch of art film school students making a video in their backyard. Nothing more!!! The only good thing about this garbage was the DVD sleeve which worked like a charm in suckering me into buying it.

If one is desperate for a z-grade zombie film then they'd be better to look into MEAT MARKET 2 which I also recently bought. While that movie was nothing great either, it's at least a zombie film that entertains the viewer. Shatter Dead does nothing but annoy and bore the viewer.

0/10 AVOID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rot (1999 Video)

more junk from the video underground

[31 March 2004]

Well what to say? Where do I begin? How do I describe another of the worst backyard home horror video's I've managed to waste time watching.

I hated this movie and thought it was so amateur that I can't imagine anybody not involved directly with the movie finding anything remotely enjoyable about it. The lead actor scientist guy has got to be the worst actor in the world! Talk about annoying over the top acting!!! Who thought having this guy act like this was a good idea? His girlie high pitched voice was so annoying!

There is nothing good about this cheap looking, annoying, ugly backyard home video. I can't believe the director actually thought this thing was worth releasing.

0/10 AVOID and don't be fooled by the over hyping this thing is getting on those biased independent movie websites!

Nikos the Impaler (2003)

a complete waste of time

[29 March 2004]

My questions is-How much were people paid to give positive reviews for this piece of crap? Maybe they were sent free screener copies of film and they felt obligated to say nice things about it? I say this because I was fooled by the reviews and I went out and bought this piece of garbage. I was expecting a semi professional film at least but I was wrong! This thing is nothing more then a glorified home video and a really poor one at that.

The gore was maybe the worst, most amateur looking work that I've ever seen in a film. The acting was horrid. Everything about this movie was terrible! I mean, if this is the director's best work, then I can't imagine how bad his other films had to be. How can any film be worse then this thing?!

Do yourself a favor. Take my word for it, this movie is awful! Not so bad it's good or anything like that, it's just plain awful. A complete waste of time and money. AVOID IT.