coljam21 Reviews

The Green Knight (2021)

Huh? I'm so confused

[2/10 · 2 August 2021]

Huh? During and after watching this film I felt as lost as a WWII ship in the Bermuda triangle. I have no idea what this movie was about. If there was supposed to be a message the director did a poor job of conveying it.

So Gawain's mother is a witch and conjured the green knight just so it could kill Gawain in the end? I'm so confused. The movie never discussed why the green knight was summoned. Was Gawain's head really lopped off but kept in tact by the green sash? Why summon the green knight then try to protect Gawain from it?

I'm as lost as a kangaroo at the north pole! Who was the fox? Gawain's mother?

Snake Eyes (2021)

Very low budget

[3/10 · 25 July 2021]

I don't know anything about snake eyes or GI. Joe movies so I went to watch this with no expectations. The only thing that saved the movie for me was the 2 leading men were very handsome. Otherwise the movie was a snooze fest. I mean they had high speed chases on electric motorcycles and the only car featured was a Hyundai Sonota. An electric one at that. Sigh.....all the action sequences were hard to follow because the cameras were so shaky. Couldn't tell if the leads were actually trained martial artists ar faking the funk. At least I watched the matinee and didn't have to pay full price for this flick.

Coming 2 America (2021)

Tacky

[3/10 · 6 March 2021]

They jammed everything plus the kitchen sink and the bathroom sink and the laundry room sink into this movie. There were way too many cameos from has been and current artists. It seems if a has been walked by while this movie was being filmed and asked for 5 seconds on screen the director gave it to you.

Not funny at all and way too many referential jokes. I guess they relied heavily on the success and humor of the first film in every way possible. This movie was definitely a disappointment and I'm glad I didn't have to pay for a movie ticket to watch it.

The Mandalorian (2019– )

Not a fan of Starwars but I love Mandalorian

[10/10 · 10 January 2021]

I have never been into starwars. I just don't get it. I have tried to watch a few of the movies but I have no interest. The costumes and set design always seemed cheap and fake.

I don't know what drew me to the mandalorian but I fell in love after the first episode. I totally got it. The characters are relatable. The costumes are futuristic but practical. I guess I could say the show is done very tastefully.

There is plenty of action with touches of whimsy. The mandalorian is a great guy. Someone you would want living next door. And I find myself rooting for him and looking forward to every episode. Great job and 2 thumbs way up to everyone responsible for putting this show together ❤.

Earthlings (2005)

Life changing

[10/10 · 6 December 2020]

Nothing could have prepared me for what I witnessed in this documentary. I am ashamed to admit that I never really associated a piece of steak with a cow or veal with a calf. I just went about my day blissfully unaware of the horrors of the animal farming industry. I was filled with shame and remorse after watching earthlings. I went vegan cold turkey. Imagine I did this a month before Thanksgiving and when I went home for the holiday and saw that fried turkey displayed on the table all I felt was a deep sense of sorrow for the poor bird. I said a silent prayer for it.

I have not been able to look at meat or any animal product without first seeing the life that was taken in pursuit of unnecessary consusumption.

Earthlings is a must see. I recommend it to everyone I know. It has made me more conscious and compassionate.

Tenet (2020)

Kept me on the edge of my seat!

[10/10 · 14 October 2020]

My gosh! I literally sat on the edge of my seat for the entire show! The movie was gripping and exciting and unpredictable with little pockets of funny.

Washington and Pattison paired perfectly on screen. Washington was a perfect choice for this role. At first I was skeptical but man I couldn't take my eyes off him.

The movie goes back and forth and when it does you say oh and ah that's what that was. My gosh. I definitely will watch again. Man if covid did not exist this movie would have been huge!

P-Valley (2020– )

Why the low rating?

[9/10 · 15 August 2020]

This show is awesome! Uncle Clifford is my favorite character! This is not about glamorizing strippers, actually the opposite. The show is juicier than a georgia peach and will draw you in. You got strippers and homosexuals and transvestites. What's not to love? Plus all that talent on the pole.

La Reina del Sur (2011– )

Typical Telemundo drivel

[1/10 · 19 July 2020]

I binge watched all 4 seasons pf Queen of The South in 2 days and couldn't get enough. I found out about the original and saw the high ratings so I dived in. Couldn't get through the first episode of season 1 with all the impractical directing and campy acting. So Theresa gets the dreaded phone call telling her Guero has been killed and she needs to run. She decides to pull on the tightest pair of jeans which she owns (has to lie on the bed to shimmy into them) and slips on a pair of bright blue platform pumps?! Oh then she goes running through the streets with said platform pumps to escape the killers. I lost all interest at that point. Such nonesense. So campy and trashy. Typical Telemundo soap opera trash.

Lost in Translation (2003)

All the cultural/racial jokes cheapened the film

[3/10 · 27 April 2020]

When I first watched this movie over a decade ago, I really enjoyed it. I guess because I was so young I took everything with a grain of salt.

I tried watching it again a few days ago and was so turned off by all the juvenile racist jokes made by Murray's character. I couldn't stop cringing. Bob Harris is supposed to be an actor with decades of experience. Makes me think he should be well traveled and have an appreciation for other cultures and cuisine. Why then, portray his character like some hillbilly who has never traveled out of his neck of the woods?

Johansson's character seemed like a spoiled brat who indulged and encouraged Murray's character when ever he cracked all the tasteless insensitive jokes using a fake Japanese accent. It was down right offensive.

The Japanese characters throughout the movie were wonderful and gentle people who welcome these foreigners with open arms. Was Coppola's goal to portray the characters as stereotypical rude Americans? If so, she succeeded.

Terminator: Dark Fate (2019)

Best Terminator next to part 2!

[10/10 · 16 February 2020]

Wow! What a bad ass movie! I regret not watching this one in the theater. The cast was awesome. Who was that tall blond? She was so bad ass. And linda hamilton did her thing! I loved the female cast as the future protectors.

The action sequences were filled with suspence! I liked the twist on the new terminator of how he could jump out of his skeleton. And Schwarzenegger ofcourse is the man! He wrapped this whole thing up in a neat little bow and added sentimental value.

I watched this 2 times back to back cause I enjoyed it so much. Wish I would have watched it on the big screen.

Queen Sugar (2016–2022)

Keeps getting better

[10/10 · 14 September 2019]

My gosh! Every season. Every episode is so complex and so relevant. This show draws you in and deals with issues that you can relate to in such a human way. I don't know how they do it but each season has been better than the last.

The writing is meaty. The actors are top notch. The issues being dealt with in the show are on trend. I swear each episode leaves me in tears. I love the fact the creator of the show employs a female director for each episode.

I am thankful for this enriching show.

Avengers: Endgame (2019)

Best in franchise!

[10/10 · 16 August 2019]

My gosh! I laughed. I cried. I was at the edge of my seat. I was glued to my seat not knowing what to expect. I felt a wave of nostalgia ebb and flow. I cried some more.

This movie was comprehensive and covered all its bases as far as closing the chapter on all the avengers movies. I also appreciated the balance between the human side of the heroes (showing how loosing everyone effected them) and the fight scenes.

The final battle for the infinity stones left me in tears. I thought it was beautiful that captain America was able to wield thor's hammer. And when all the heroes started to materialize out of nowhere I thought I would scream with excitement!

I have been a fan of the avengers since day one and heavily invested emotionally in every movie. I'm sad to see it end especially for iron man and captain America (my favorite avenger). I guess now I will wait to see what else marvel has in store for us.

The Girl in the Spider's Web (2018)

Inconsistent!

[5/10 · 16 February 2019]

The movie and storyline was going great until the blond sister who dressed all in red made her apperance. So do you want to kill lisbeth or not? In the beginning there were no holds barred. The blond's henchmen tried what everything they could to kill lisbeth including blowing her apartment to smitherines with her inside. Yet when lisbeth is finally captured and comes face to face with sis and, nothing? Just a long drawn out vitch session about how awful life has been? Shouldn't she put a bullet in lisbeth's head right away?

Oh no, instead blondie babbles on about her awful childhood which by the way she chose to endure yadda yadda......then she escapes with the briefcase and gets into a terrible car crash but manages to hobble away then jumps off a cliff when confronted by lisbeth who by the way wanted to save her?

This movie was going so great until they started with all the stereotypical bull and cliches.

Creed II (2018)

Not as good as the first

[8/10 · 2 December 2018]

This movie was identical to Rocky III. I'm a huge Rocky fan and have watched all 5 movies many times. I was shocked at the similarities between Creed 2 and Rocky III. There was even a shocking and unnecessary similarity between Bianca and Adrian sitting ring side during the final fight. Their outfits were similar down to their beret. The movie was predictable and unticlimatic but I love Jordan so I enjoyed it.

The acting was top notch and there was so much eye candy between Creed and Drago that everything else took second place. The training scenes are mesmerizing and the the fight scenes had me holding my breath. Neilson and Stallone were hard on the eyes.

SuperFly (2018)

Sexy and relevant and action packed

[7/10 · 7 September 2018]

So this was my first tome hearing about the movie superfly. I never knew an original existed. I watched this film with zero expectations and I sure am glad I did because I enjoyed it immensely. The cast was sexy and the main character Priest made it hard to look away from the screen with his baby face and cool demeanor.

I thought the main nemesis 'snow patrol' added an element of freshness and humor. They looked like a pack of tic taks decked out in all white. But that was ok because I guess they were not meant to be taken seriously.

I wish the movie didn't have such a cliche and predictable ending because all it did was glamorize that life style even more, but I was entertained and as soon as it ended I thought to myself hey I could watch this again.

Married to Medicine (2013– )

Pure trash

[1/10 · 18 December 2017]

Pure trash. I was super bored one night and decided to give his ratchet show a try. These women are supposed to be medical professionals and or married to medical professionals, but you wouldn't know by watching this mind numbing show. The women act like a bunch of Wal-mart employees. As a matter of fact, the cashiers I encounter when checking out at wally world have much more class and grace than the women on this program.

These women are all in their 40's but have the vocabulary of middle school students. They are very juvenile. They go around picking fights with each other and gossiping. This type of behavior I expect from strippers not Doctor's. I would never visit a physician who was so unprofessional and put their trashy personal life on display for the whole world to see.

It's hard for me to believe that these people have an actual medical practice and patients. I think the show just took a bunch of out of work ghetto MD's and offered them the job.

Ride Along 2 (2016)

So cheesy

[1/10 · 3 April 2016]

What ever happened to good comedic movies? It seems they died out in the 80's. Every comedy now is about the star falling on his ass or ramming into a tree or face planting on the pavement. So tell me how is this supposed to be funny? I don't like Kevin heart movies because I don't think they're funny but went to watch this with a friend.

So this movie was all about talking loud, acting stupid and taking hard hits to the face and groin. I rolled my eyes throughout the entire movie and shook my head in wonder. How he heck do these movies make money? Oh yeah because suckers like me are forced to go watch them. I will stay away from all heart movies in the future no matter who tries to drag me with them for company.

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)

Perfect 10

[10/10 · 3 April 2016]

I was hesitant to watch this because man of steel was a little tacky with all the brand placement and excessive CGI fight scenes. This movie though wasn't as bad. The only brand placement was Chrysler. I loved that they kept all the elements of of the original man of steel movie. Everything flowed smoothly as far as why batman wanted vengeance against superman.

I didn't like the fact that bats wanted to destroy sups without even trying to talk to him first or find out more about him. Wayne would not do something so rash. The Wonder Woman character was OK. She didn't appear that skinny in the movie. She also seemed tall which is consistent with the character.

OK so to my favorite parts. Wayne doing that barbaric pseudo primitive workout in the cave without his shirt on made me drool. Thank you mr. director for all that eye candy. Oh and sups, I don't know how it's possible for a human to be so perfect. I mean really the guy is flawless. I love the chemistry he has with Louis lane. They seem like a genuine couple who are actually in love. Makes me like his character even more.

Over all it was an awesome movie. Not too much unnecessary action. Beautiful cast. Can't complain.

Shades of Blue (2016–2018)

Horribly cliché

[1/10 · 9 January 2016]

I was super excited to see j lo and Ray Liotta cast in a prime time show, so I tuned in with high expectations. Oh boy was I wrong. What a snooze fest. What a horribly predictable snooze fest. I was able to to foretell pretty much everything in this thin ass show before it happened. J lo is not convincing at all as a cop. Far less a seasoned corrupt cop. Ray Liotta fared better but try as me might he did not exude bad cop.

The cast was a little off too. The woman cast to play j lo's daughter looked like something Frankenstein stitched together. I couldn't relate to and of the cast and sure as heck was not rooting for anyone.

I actually encourage everyone to watch this mess of a show so they can see how horrible it is. I don't see this show lasting for more than 6 episodes.

Fantastic Four (2015)

It was pretty cool to me

[7/10 · 2 September 2015]

So I know this got low ratings on IMDb but the previews looked good. Also I've realized that sometimes movies get a rating of 9 on IMDb and I rush to go watch it and I am greatly disappointed. Also In reading the reviews pretty much all the people that gave a low rating are fans of the comic and familiar with the whole story and history of the Fantastic 4. I have never read the comic book and the first time I heard about them was with the firs movie with Jessica Alba.

I enjoyed the movie. It was youthful and fun. The graphics were cool albeit a little cheap looking. The thing looked pretty impressive. Much better than the one in the first movie.I really can't complain about the movie. It was entertaining and fun. I guess watching it with unbiased eyes is best.

Hitman: Agent 47 (2015)

Meh..........Alright I guess

[6/10 · 23 August 2015]

So this is no where as sexy or intense or action packed or filled with tricks as the first Hit Man but it was OK. The guy who plays Agent 47 was is Timothy Olyphant but he was OK. The thin that makes he agents unique is that they're almost like androids. They say little, display no emotion and make no sounds especially grunting when they're fighting.If I remember correctly they'e castrated as boys.

I guess someone forgot to tell this director this. Agent 47 had a lot to say and expressed a lot of emotion too. The twist about him and the lead female being siblings was different. Less cliché than them becoming lovers.

There was one portion of the film where they were being chases in the red audi and some cables were shot thru the car so hench men could rappel from the roof tops. During that scene all the vehicles surrounding the audi were blue and yellow. It was so bizarre. It's like using a bunch of extras who all wore a yellow rain coat.

In all the film was OK.

Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)

Age of Boredom

[2/10 · 8 May 2015]

I really loved the first Avengers. So much that I watched twice in the theaters. It was exciting and fully of suspense and funny and innovative. Nothing had been done like it before. The action was great and Sam Jackson added an element of bas-ass-ness to the entire thing. Boy was I looking forward to part 2. The fact it was being directed by the same person was a plus plus! So we get to the theatre, sit down full of anticipation, bursting at the seams with excitement just to experience a snooze fest.

The movie begins with the Avengers fighting villains in a wintery forest. Thor using his hammer and iron man using his suit and captain America using his shield etc. nothing new here people……keep it moving. Then the red head is able to sooth the hulk and turn him into Bruce banner by whispering some words to him. Wait a sec I thought the hulk was inconsolable.

The Scarlett witch and quicksilver added absolutely nothing to the movie. The Olsen girl has no personality and is wooden on screen and the only thing the Johnson guy has going for him is his body which was covered up by his horrible costume.

So they tried to introduce something new to the movie by creating a love thing between black widow and hulk and all of a sudden hawk eye has a wife and kids? Sorry but I'm not buying it. BORING! By this point the action seemed pointless and boring. Nothing new here so keep it moving. No even the addition of that new character could have pulled me into this drivel.

I won't even comment on the Ultron character. Strutting around like drunk poet. Absolutely no more super hero movies for me.

Foxcatcher (2014)

Gripping. Intense.

[10/10 · 20 March 2015]

Wow! This movie was a perfect 10. Who knew Tatum and Carell had it in them? Everyone gave an Oscar worthy performance but I must say Tatum surprised me. I don't know where he pulled his performance out of. Playing the role of the awkward and reclusive one time gold medal Olympic winner was a cinch for him. He totally immersed himself into character. I was super impressed and gained so much respect for him.

And Mr. Carell. Seriously? Why did you conceal your talent for so long? He totally nailed the part of the wealthy, creepy, lonely man with mommy issues. I actually fund my self cringing during the scene when he tried to impress his mom by pretending to be the coach and when the guy was paid to lose to him in the wrestling match.

Bravo all around. Great performances. Perfect cast. Excellent direction. Superb film.

Chappie (2015)

Expected better

[5/10 · 13 March 2015]

My least favorite from Blomkamp so far. So Chappie is conceived with the intelligence/mind of a baby and he has to learn everything from scratch. OK fine I understand. What I don't understand is how this android with the artificial intelligence of a baby is able to put together a super computer and use a helmet he had never seen before to harness his consciousness. Huh? Now i'm really lost.

The movie was OK but it dragged on too much with teaching Chappie different lessons in morality and criminality. That got boring quickly. The only cool part of the movie was when the moose appeared. It was reminiscent of the big robot in RoboCop but much cooler. I also liked the costumes that the main characters wore. Everything else was pretty much a snooze fest

Interstellar (2014)

Total nonsense

[1/10 · 20 December 2014]

When I saw this was directed by Chris Nolan I said there's no way I can miss this movie. Then I checked out the ratings on IMDb and went running to the theater only to be put to sleep. This movie was supposed to take place a few centuries into the future, however when cooper goes to his daughter's school for the parent teacher conference there is a tube TV in the classroom. Huh? Tube tvs can't be found anywhere in 2014 yet we're expected to believe they exist 200 years in the future.

Also what was the point of cooper and the kids following that drone? They made a huge climatic event and then the drone crashes and that's it. OK so what's the point. Going through the worm hole was OK but the other planets that were visited looked down right fantastical. Like out of a Disney fairytale. This film was filled with A listers but fell flat. Matt Damon's character was totally predictable and so was the ending. I really don't understand the appeal and high ratings.