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brianejsmith
Reviews
Le moine (2011)
Doesn't Work in Translation
This film is a very slow paced - they even walk slowly - procession of characters, some mystical, others real, but all of whom come and go without explanation or point. I assume that their characters and their reason for being in the film are better explained in french and that the English subtitles are the problem. But, as it is, subtitled, the film simply makes no sense. In the end, you just don't care.
None of the unexplained characters grab you because you don't know what their purpose in the plot is. They are all dull, two dimensional and completely lacking in identifiable personality.
And, when all is done and the film is concluding, is the final scene mystical or real? Thought about it for about 30 seconds and decided I didn't care. I didn't like Ambrosio - the main character - and I didn't like this movie.
Prometheus (2012)
Bad Sci Fi, Naughty Sci Fi
OK, 11 pages of reviews have covered pretty much everything that was bad about this truly terrible movie but there are two things I want to get off my chest that occur in this film and pretty much every other of its genre. The first concerns gravity and its effect on space travel. Just like a football (soccer) match, any space trip will be a journey of two halves. For the first half the vessel will continuously accelerate at an acceptable rate in terms of the G force exerted on the occupants. 1 to 1.5g for several months would do the job. When it reaches the half way point, in order to slow down in time, it will have to decelerate at exactly the same rate, otherwise it will fall short or overshoot its target.
This being the case why is the ship still burning its 4 thrusters as it nears the planet?
My other massive gripe concerns spaceship geometry. We've had all sorts of designs; massively, pointlessly, complex shapes in Star Wars, discs with hulls and pods in Star Trek, animalistic, worm/snake like things in Iron Man and Battleship. We get sensible child discs in Independence Day but these are launched from a mother ship that looks like a dog's head. All of these shapes are ridiculous. There is no gravity in space neither is there any air resistance. A Pentagon shape vessel or cube like the Borg have in Star Trek are almost certainly the most practical design for spaceships. The emphasis for spaceship builders will be travel time from one area of the ship to another so long thin shapes are definite no noes. The same goes for strange poly configurations. Space vessels will need to rotate to provide gravitational support for their occupants. Shapes that don't lend themselves to rotation simply won't work.
I don't know why the original sci fi spaceships were flying saucers but whoever thought that up got it dead right. Forbidden Planet got it spot on; all space ships will be saucer (disc) shaped. Those that aren't will look like a Borg cube or several 1,000 shipping containers stuck together.