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Cats Don't Dance (1997)
Nothing's gonna stop me from loving this movie
Nothing's more of a nostalgic movie for me than Cats Don't Dance, the energetic animated musical of Hollywood, passion, and the pursuit of dreams that is the most criminally underrated movie I have ever seen in my life.
We are introduced to Danny, a cat full of ambition and dreams of making it AS A STAR! He arrives in Hollywood and quickly meets the other wonderful cast of animals: Tilly Hippo, Cranston Goat, T.W Turtle, later Woolly Mammoth, and another cat simply named Sawyer; who is not too pleased with Danny's dream-chasing, singing and dancing attitude.
Shortly after the introduction to the others, he lands a spot on the latest movie "Little Ark Angel" starring "America's Sweetheart, Lover of Children and Animals" Darla Dimple: who's pretty much a cross between Shirley Temple, Baby-Doll from the animated Batman, and a Disney villain. While filming the movie, Danny makes himself noticed much to the displeasure of Darla who shows her true colors as a spoiled little munchkin who again is as heinously evil as some of Disneys most evil villains. Which results in the calling of the gargantuan servant of Darla known as Max, which results in Max teaching Danny a lesson that I'm not gonna lie is actually pretty funny.
After that happens, we find out why no one liked his little number and why Sawyer is so despondent toward Danny. We find out that Hollywood, for no clear reason, wants talented human actors and not talented animals. And the other characters we've met have talent that was wrongfully overlooked, Sawyer being both the most promising and seemingly the most broken of the group. But Danny, still wanting to follow his dream, tries to convince the others to do the same. The result: the rest of the movie.
If I took out the nostalgia, I would love Cats Don't Dance all the same. I love how fun it is, I love how sincere it is, but mostly I love how passionate and driven it is. Its not a flawless movie; some of the singing voices sound a bit odd when compared to the talking voices. Danny isn't THAT well developed but not enough that I think he brought the film down. But aside from a few nitpicks I truly do love it.
The music is done by Randy Newman. And while I don't "love" Randy Newman, this is really good. The songs are both catchy and fit the moods appropriately. The orchestral work is impressive as well, fitting the 1930s Hollywood setting perfectly. The animation is fantastic too; offering a familiar Warner Bros. animation feel.
Honestly, I love this movie. I love everything about it. It's great, fun to watch, memorable and very underrated. I love the characters, the music, the animation, the drama; but mostly the passion. Its serious nostalgia for me, and people should definitely watch it.
Elephant (2003)
If you thought high school was boring.....you're still right. And this movie sucks hard
Elephant is a movie centered around a small cast of characters that go throughout a seemingly normal day of high school. Although on this day, their is a school shooting. So is this a movie that focuses on the reasons for a shooting and the effects that come from it? Actually no, surprisingly it just shows the day of the shooting. That's different and sounds pretty interesting....but this movie does not do this well. In fact it does it in probably the most engagingly boring way possible.
We see a few characters, I'm assuming they have names, throughout the day. But the whole time we don't know any of these people or why we should care that they die or that they might die. Are we just to assume that just because they are people we should care about them? Well I think they are trying to show that all the lives are lives and we should respect them. But it would be more tragic, therefore more powerful, if we got to know some of these people first off then their deaths would be more memorable.
Then there is the two killers. yes two, this is loosely based around the Columbine Massacre.....very loosely. Since this is only the day of the shooting, we are not exploring the motives of the two and only have their personality to go on for them. But these two have no personality at all. Even in the kind of story its telling, these two are boring and forgettable.
This was directed by Gus Van Sant, of Good Will Hunting and Milk fame. He was also famous for his "Death Trilogy", this being one of the three. Another one of these in the trilogy is called Gerry, which follows 2 guys in the desert in very VERY long continuous uncut shots. It was long, drawn out and boring. I bring this up because, Van Sant is doing the exact same thing in Elephant. The film consists of still shots showing high school kids...doing stuff. And then long continuous shots of the kids either walking around almost aimlessly or the kids just talking and interacting with the people around them, like anyone would in high school. This is the films biggest BIGGEST and most annoying trait. The constant continuous shots leaves you just bored out of your senseless mind. These shots of the kids walking go on FOR FOREVER! They take up most of the movie and it kept me uninterested for nearly the whole movie. You are so bored that by the end you are begging for the killings to start.
I understand the basic reasoning's behind Elephant, but the execution is just weak. The acting is bad, the constant uncut shots are excruciating, there are a lot of strange moments in it that i really shouldn't spoil, and ITS SO BORING!!! There is some good in it, but there is more bad in it than anything else.
Remember Me (2010)
His brooding level is over 9000!!!!
I don't hate Robert Pattinson, I think he can be a good actor it's just that he keeps getting such terrible scripts to work with. And this movie is one of them.
Pattinson is a young "troubled" man in New York City who has to play surrogate dad since his father played by Pierce Brosnan is negligent towards her. He meets a young girl played by Emily DuRaven, who is the daughter of a cop played by Chris Cooper. The SAME cop that just so HAPPENED to beat him and arrest him one night. And they go for it and they fall for each other, surprise surprise.
Robert Pattinson, does nothing but brood and whine and complain throughout the whole damn movie. He just basically says "My brother is dead! My brother is dead!". And his presence is just a drag and a bore for the movie. He doesn't translate well into drama if all i'm getting is him being a more whiny version of Edward Cullen. Chris Cooper is one of the better actors of it, but his performance is just kind of weird. He's playing a 22 year NY cop, but he didn't sound like he was from New York at all. And every time he is with Tyler (robert Patterson), there's always the sense that he would senselessly beat him to death because......just because. Because this movie is about daddy issues. And we can have one daddy where we see there's a human being underneath but not with both. For some reason it's just too much to ask.
Speaking of daddies; Pierce Brosnan plays his father, a man who is all business and nothing else, not caring about the people he hurts even his family. You know I have never disliked a character played by Pierce Brosnan. But I do sort of have a problem with the Disney Dad, the dad that just apposes the main character JUST BECAUSE. And eventually, you start to relate more with Pierce, because you are so tired of Robert Pattison's whining and he rightfully berates him about it and in the middle of a business meeting no less. So this is the Disney Dad that tells him a speech similar to "No I don't spend too much time at the office. You spend too much time whining about everything. And I am sick of it. Shut up son of mine!" I almost applauded that scene it was so satisfying.
Overall it's just okay. At the very least i could say its forgettable at the very worst.......right up until the ending. This is when they try to get a cheap emotional rise out of the audience, THE CHEAPEST EVER! I would not of been that bad though, the problem is that they set it up as a twist. And as the credits roll I just went ">groan< I hate this movie. So hard" One of the WORST endings ever put to screen. M. Night Shyamalan you are forgiven.
I could have forgiven this movie.....but after that ending? NO! This movie was terrible! That just really made me mad. I just thought "How dare they!" It was just awful. Its pandering on the absolute lowest level and ended on the cheapest emotional tug you could possibly do.
Crash (2004)
Crass, soulless, and offensive to anything considered human
Crash is a film about racism and race relations across the span of 2 days in Los Angeles. It stars Sandra Bullock, Brendan Fraser, Don Cheadle, Sasuke, Pinkie, Brain, John, Ringo, Twilight Sparkle...get the idea. It stars a lot of people who for lack of a better explanation; do nothing but shout racial slurs and accusations centered around racial profiling.
It starts with a car crash involving detective Don Cheadle and his partner a Mexican lady whose name escapes me, and an Asian lady whose name I don't believe was given. The two exit the car with Cheadle going to check out a recent crime scene that just so HAPPENED to be nearby, while his partner decides to berate the ladies poor English by saying "brake light" with the ls and rs switched. Because....well this pretty much happens throughout the movie you might as well TRY getting used to it.
Cut back to yesterday and were introduced to a Persian shop owner, Farhad, and his daughter trying to buy a gun. Farhad gets mad at the man for some plot contrived reason which he responds with 9/11 and terrorist slur. This pawn owner is one of the many MANY characters you will only remember as being as racist as a human possibly can.
Later that night we see Ludicrous and Larenz Tate walking out of a coffee shop, Luda being unsatisfied with his service claiming racism. (BTW Ludicrous does this CONSTANTLY during the film) They see D.A Brendan Fraser and pampered wife Sandra Bullock turn away to their car. Ludicrous accuses Sandra of turning away in blind fear thinking she would be carjacked. I thought "Huh, your kinda right. I think she did."....up until the two carjack the Fraser and Bullock. So he brought up a racist query and then in a massive act of hypocrisy DID THE EXACT SAME THING HE ACCUSED BULLOCK OF BEING AFRAID OF!!!. Now i'm a person who thinks just because someone is a hypocrite doesn't make them wrong in what they're saying but their message is muddled incredibly when they ARE being a hypocrite.
Back at the DAs house, locksmith Michael Pena is changing the lock to the house and Sandra complains about having "one of their gang members" is changing the locks because......she's racist....very racist. 12 minutes into the film and we are still introducing characters, we see Officers Matt Dillon and Ryan Phillippe going on their patrol hearing about the carjacking; seeing a similar black Navigator and with Matt Dillon again being a racist they pull over Terrence Howard and Thandie Newton. There under the pretense of a pat-down Dillon molests Thandie Newton....why?! WHY?! I wish i could answer that.
Crash is a film that I completely and utterly despise. The whole movie is nothing more than racial slurs for no reason whatsoever. It has no redeemable characters and is full of an unbelievable amount of pretentious god-awful writing. It believes its saying something powerful but it just comes off as pretentious. Along with irredeemable characters, the film also has useless and just plain strange plot elements. There's an investigation involving Don Cheadle and his partner that seems unnecessary to the rest of the movie.
There are 2 plot points that are both stupid and make no sense the most. At one moment Ludicrous accidentally runs over an Asian man standing next to his van. After "a change of conscience" he decides to take the van finding a good 20 chained, dirty, and most likely homeless Asian people in the back. Why were there a bunch of Asian people in the back of the van? Why didn't the Asian people not notice nothing was happening? The van was sitting in that same spot for a good day in a half. Ludicrous releases them in the middle of Chinatown. This is shown as a act of good will and possible redemption, but if you release a bunch of chained homeless people into the streets: you are getting arrested. No questions. Then there is a plot line of Farhad getting upset at Michael Pena because.....the plot called for it, which ultimately results in him pointing a gun at his face. Pena's 5 year old daughter; after her father tells her a story of his "invisible impenetrable cloak" that i guess is called "foreshadowing", leaps into his arms just as the gun goes off...but everyone is unharmed. It turns out that the gun just so HAPPENED to have blank bullets. And I guess it just so HAPPENED that Farhad had a change of heart after that. So an entirely irredeemable person is "redeemed" through a so called act of God or coincidence. But this character isn't redeemed because it's an act of plot contrivance. Seriously, what the hell kind of writing is this?
How can a movie like Crash get made. Or hell, even green lit?!How can a movie like Crash get such critical backing? How could a movie like Crash be Best Picture, when literally EVERY OTHER CHOICE IS BETTER?!?! Its a horribly written, horribly contrived, horribly pretentious piece of cinematic trash; that I wish never to experience again.
My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic (2010)
Wow...
I was riding in the car late one Wednesday night by my older brother. And he confessed to watching AND loving My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Me, being only familiar with the older ponies of the past, was shocked and lost a bit of respect for my brother.
Months later, I found a channel on YouTube that had the complete first season. So i let it load I say to myself "Alright MLP, make me feel something". And as the show went on I found myself saying the same thing a lot of us were saying. "Oh my god. That was good"
Friendship is Magic isn't just good, its really good. I was really shocked to find out that it was a surprisingly entertaining, quotable, funny, engaging, and genuine show. The characters are fun to watch and memorable too, my personal favorite being Twilight Sparkle. >>yay<< The humor is surprisingly good too. I found myself laughing consistently throughout the episodes. It even has a surprising amount of shout outs to other works. Seriously, where else can you find a more obvious Big Lebowski reference in a show targeted to such a young audience.
But the best part about this show is the meaning of friendship and how it is presented. Its not shoved down your throat or preached to us, it feels real and done in a very organic way. And how they make Twilight's (an anti-social pony being forced to socialize with other ponies) character so relate able is just fantastic. And she makes friends in such a way that you make friends with them along with her.
Honestly, I love this show. Its got such great characters, memorable moments, genuine emotion, good comedy, and ungodly catchy songs too. It had the formula for success and it achieved success.