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Reviews
Zombie Apocalypse (2011)
Asylum production, not good, not awful
Watch this movie when you're drunk and you won't be disappointed... a lot.
I watched a lot of Asylum movies and they all have a big problem: Bad CGI.
This movie is no different. Storyline is OK, acting is OK, just the CGI and inaccuracies are a problem.
To begin with the CGI has the design of a 90's video game. If you can't afford decent CGI, than please don't let the plot depend on it. The mutated tigers we're just awful.
The next thing are the inaccuracies. Again, if you watch this when you're drunk, you probably won't notice it.
Ving Rhames and his partner manage to salvage a 50 Cal machine gun, they put it in a shopping cart. Of course they shot the hell out of a group zombies. Problem: I can't imagine that there's no recoil from such a big gun, but still the cart doesn't move an inch. Also when they're firing you don't see shells coming out of the gun and the ammo belt doesn't move so in fact there aren't going any bullets in the gun...
There's a point where they see the hideout of a sniper, which is dead. They kill the zombie sniper but leave a big sniper gun WITH bullets at the hideout?! I mean, they're fighting with crowbars, sledgehammers and machetes, leaving a big gun is just retarded...
The last thing which annoys me is the fact that there is no clear way of killing a zombie. Sometimes a head shot doesn't kill a zombie, sometimes it does, slitting his throat sometimes kills, sometimes even a body shot kills it. We all know that a head shot or chopping his head of is the only way to kill a zombie...
This could be a far more better movie if they got their facts straight and invested just a little more in their CGI...
The Scorpion King 3: Battle for Redemption (2012)
OK...Is this about the same scorpion king?
First of all the movie gets a 2 out of 10 because the acting isn't that bad. They do try to make a good story. The dialog's aren't that good but from time to time they did make me laugh.
That's about all the positive I can say about this movie.
This is movie has absolutely nothing to do with the scorpion king we know. First of all the battles; the action scenes involving bigger armies are just one big mess. All the soldiers look the same and u can't tell who's fighting who. The historical inaccuracy in this movie is really of the charts.
A summary of what is so awfully wrong;
The storyline of the scorpion king takes place between 4000 BC and 3000 BC! The armies in this movie consists of a mix of soldiers from different parts of the world and even from different era. What the hell are Roman legionnaires doing in this movie? I mean Mathayus = 3000BC, Romans = 700BC. Than there are ninja assassins, samurai-like soldiers, Seleucid mercenaries, war elephants,... What in gods name were they thinking of when they made this movie??
The story of this movie takes place in jungles, and by the look of it and the temples they've shown I would say an Asian country. Come on! The scorpion king takes place in Egypt, in the desert, sand, hot sun not jungles...
To finish a little bit about the weaponry. Like the rest also bloody awful. Most of the weapons wouldn't be made till the iron age. They even use a trebuchet, I mean the first trebuchet was used in 500BC.
My advice; don't watch this movie if you like the Mummy franchise and the first Scorpion King because this movie will disgust u.