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Irhorwood
Reviews
Road House (2024)
Even Jake can't save this one
Jake spent a year getting in shape for this movie, well maybe Jake just wanted to get in shape. He looks great. The original Roadhouse wasn't perfect, but it still became a cult movie and one of my personal favourites. I think Jake is excellent and many of his movies really hit the mark but.... this one misses it by a country mile. I watched it all the way through hoping it would raise its game, but I should have binned it after the 15 minute test. Plod, plod, plod for 2h1m. Apart from Jake the acting is lame, the characterisation non existent, the cast unmemorable, the dialogue third rate, the fight sequences predictable and the foley work terrible. There isn't even a decent soundtrack to help it along.
Do yourself a favour, watch the brilliant Patrick Swayze and the legendary Sam Elliott in the original, again!
The Court Jester (1955)
Gone but not Forgotten
Danny Kaye died 37 years ago. His charm comes from an era when wholesome movies, particuarly musicals were the thing of the day. I saw this film when I was a kid almost 70 years ago and I've never forgotten it. Seeing it again today I know why. Everything about it deserves a 10 rating. Firstly there's Danny. His persona, dexterity and on-screen presence are spellbinding, perfectly suited to this role, considered by many as his finest. Supporting cast are also the finest of the day from the brilliant Basil Rathbone, this time playing the bad guy... brilliantly and Cecil Parker playing the kind of role for which he is famous; stout but dependable father figures, this time the mis-guided King. Then, of course there's the marvellous Glynis Johns, perfectly cast as Jean, looking just gorgeous and lighting up every scene she's in.
The Technicolour palate is warm and sumpuous and the presentation in Vistavision suits the subject matter perfectly.
This may not suit those who need car crashes and explosions or deep plot lines, but if you are of my age and want to experience (at least a little) time travel on a wet winter's Sunday afternoon this may be 1h 41m well spent.
Wolf Hound (2022)
Wolf Hound ...? What a dog!
The 4 is purely for the brilliant aerial sequences and their associated cinematography, particularly at the start. Real aircraft for a change and a good sense of drama. Twenty minutes in I was thinking, this looks good.... Sadly the plot hit the deck when the airmen did. Despite the absence of a star to carry the picture I pressed on through some of the worst dialogue and wooden acting I've heard in a long time, thinking it's bound to pick up in a minute. I was laughing out loud when the nazi officers had hit the ground post bazooka 98 minutes in, as it didn't even fit properly all the way through..
It's easy to see where the budget went, what there was of it. The lion's share probably went on the aircraft, the pilots the cinematography and the props, all of which were excellent, if some of the vehicles were a little cobbled together. For future reference it makes sense to spend an adequate amount on the script, and if real stars are is out of the production budget, either get more dough or at least hire some believable actors.
This ain't no Memphis Belle, baby...
The Keep (1983)
'Sorry Michael, but we're going with that..'
Where do I start? The majority of the reviews on here are spot on. The Keep is strangely compelling. It held my attention well past the 15 minute test and I saw it through to the end thinking, it'll recover in a minute, sadly it never did. The first 15 - 45 minutes turned out to be the best part.
What did I like? The location, the set design and the camerawork was awesome, the atmosphere created at the start was epic and as others have said, the merging of Sci-Fi with The Reich is an interesting premise. Jürgen Prochnow was perfectly cast and excellent in this early role, the entity was one of the best and the music added a sense of forboding and surrealism.
As others have said the original movie was much longer. This makes sense, as would the plot (maybe), if given time to unfold properly. What remains after the butchery on the cutting room floor is disjointed, non-sensical and downright tripe in places. Scott Glen with his dodgy hair cut, the totally unnecessary and over long sex scene in the middle, which seemed to start up for absolutely no reason and the 'sod it, that'll do' ending left me thinking, firstly 'That's 90 minutes of my life I won't get back' and on reflection, 'What a pity, it could have been so much better'.
Rise of the Footsoldier 4: Marbella (2019)
'You Whaaaat....!'
I've seen all the Footsoldier movies and I've enjoyed them all. Cerebral they aren't, but if you like British gangster movies, like lots of action and (very) rough stuff and some (well, alright a lot) of colourful language these fit the bill.
Craig Fairbrass is the daddy, along with Vincent Regan, Ray Winstone and the rest of the well known crew who populate most of the movies in this category he reigns supreme.
This one made me laugh... a lot. Easy to follow, without complex plot twists or deep characterisations, just a romp-along Essex boys bloodfest. All that's missing are stripey T Shirts, black masks (actually there are some of those) and bags marked Swag.
You can even visit the fridge for another beer and you won't miss anything. Add to that the pumping 90's soundtrack and it's boys night heaven.
'No sleep till Sowfend.. !'
In the Line of Duty: The F.B.I. Murders (1988)
TV movies don't get much better than this
Wow. I watched this because I've always liked David Soul. Starsky and Hutch this definitely isn't. I expected David to be the eponymous good guy (a cop at least) in this. Instead we are treated to what seems to be the portrayal of embodiment of evil. Soul shows his acting chops playing Michael Lee Platt, a man with no (and I mean, no) redeeming qualities. His performance is frighteningly good. He and his co conspirator William Matix played almost as admirably by Michael Gross, go on a robbing and more importantly, killing spree which, unless I missed something, is never really explained. These Nam vets have the proverbial screw loose, enabling them to operate with zero compassion on ideas created on a whim, casting innocent bodies aside at every opportunity and relishing the experience. Many TV movies, even those based, as this is, on true stories, are a yawn from start to finish. This one isn't. It's pacey enough to hold your interest and shocking enough to be memorable. The end scene will definitely stay with me and I suspect all who see it.
Well worth an 8. 90 minutes well spent.
I watched two David Soul movies back to back and they were both brilliant for different reasons. The other was Salems Lot, made in 79 at the same time as Starsky & Hutch, though truth to tell it was, almost inevitably, James Mason who stole the show on that one, overshadowing what was another respectable 'good guy' role from David.
Castaway (1986)
Beware who you get yourself shipwrecked with.
Did I enjoy this film? Actually yes. Everyone dreams of sunny tropical islands, away from civilisation from time to time. Without the hotels and the bars though, things are very different, aren't they? Only the idea and the surroundings seem perfect at first glance. This portrayal of self-inflicted island isolation presents the Robinson Crusoe life as somewhat closer to what reality is, especially if, as they seem to have done, you did you did nothing sensible to prepare. The moral of the story being, be careful who you choose to be shipwrecked with..
Oliver Reed's skills as an actor (and one of my favourites) are still there, but somewhat buried under 1980's Oliver Reed. Oliver is also completely buried under the most annoying red beard ever, making it almost impossible to see the subtelty of his facial expressions 90% of the time. Amanda Donohue is excellent as Lucy, portraying a woman with her own agenda perfectly throughout.
Being a man on a desert island with a woman you desire, who is there by choice, but who once installed, suddenly refuses to be intimate with you..? Hell. Being a woman on a desert island with anyone other than someone with Bear Grills' survival skills and the emotional intelligence of a master, not recommended.
Other reviewers are right, Kingsland and Irvine show us the full gamut of human emotions, from extreme rage to much needed tenderness, but their relationship is fatally flawed and annoying as a result. I found myself looking for that one moment of pure tranquility which never came, or if it did I missed it.
Castaway is a roller coaster ride alright. When Tom Hanks made his epic Cast Away he was at the top of his game and it shows. I can almost imagine a sozzled Ollie telling his mates in the bar, 'Listen chaps, I'll see you all after the winter, I'm off to make a shipwreck movie in the pacific...'
The Chalk Garden (1964)
Light and Dark and The Cream of British Acting Talent
The first 10 minutes and I thought it was going to be your typical 'recalcitrant teenager encounters new governess, finds love and comes of age' screenplay, of which there are many, (it seemed to be a theme in the '50's and 60's and most of them seemed to involve Hayley Mills) and yes, all of these elements are present, but this film develops in to so much more. It all starts off lightly enough and I was willing to watch it on the basis that this would be a summery romp through the 1960's English countryside, with the lovely Hayley centre stage. However, as the plot plays out and the marvellous Deborah Kerr gets in to her stride, the dynamic changes dramatically and in the last third, once Felix Aylmer shows up, it turns into something much darker.
Given the fact that there are few scene changes and no pyrotechnics it's soley the magnetism of the actors which carries this one along. The scenes with John and Hayley are magical, with the daughter simply sparkling, given the confidence obviously instilled by the master. Edith Evans ably demonstrates the consumate skills honed by over 50 years in the theatre; one moment being the lovable old grandmother, the next switching to a hidden persona with a cold look sufficient to chill the blood.
Director, Ronald Neame is even-handed in developing the lightheartedness prevalent at the start then building the total sense of foreboding and hopelessness near the conclusion.
All in all, 106 minutes well spent and worthy of a review. As others have said, a screen gem showcasing enviable acting talent in all respects.
Nowhere Boy (2009)
Twenty Flight Rock
I grew up in England in the 60's. I know about The Beatles. Everyone here does. We don't need another Story of The Beatles.. The Birth of Beatles did a reasonable job of the start and the brilliant Richard Lester captured the mood at the time perfectly all those years ago in A Hard Days Night. I knew about John and his traumatic early life, but seeing it play out made me feel for him more than I had done. The part I wasn't expecting made me cry. And you'll know which part that is when it happens. The direction was subtle and the casting superb. Aaron Taylor-Johnson was eminently likeable as John and played him with sensitivity and skill, managing to capture at least some of John's huge wit and charisma, with the film showing him as the natural leader he was. He was always going to make it, wasn't he? Make it with the girls and make it with THE band.
I liked Thomas Brodie as Paul. I liked the way he upstaged John at one point, something always difficult to do. Kirsten Scott Thomas was, of course, also perfectly cast as Mimi.
All in all Nowhere Boy is worth a 9 from me. A 9 for not following the crowd, a 9 for 90 minutes well spent and a 9 for highlighting the back story of the 'The Quarrymen'. Whatever happened to them?
Night of the Eagle (1962)
A British Classic from 1962
Gripping from start to finish. With only a couple of special effects used towards the end this film maintains it's creepy, atmospheric presence throughout purely using the skill of the leading actors, coupled by amazing monochrome cinematography. Muir Mathieson's top notch soundtrack adds to the fun immeasurably, just as his immense music has done on so many occasions, during this innovative era. The wonderful and vastly underrated Peter Wyngarde was demonstrating his capabilities as a leading man long before Department S and Jason King and was superb alongside Janet Blair as his delectable, shrewd and eminently capable wife.
There are some sequences very reminiscent of the Night of the Demon and some reminiscent of the very best of early Hammer. The plot has a number of unexpected twists and turns and even the ending is not entirely what one expected.
This is one which, once discovered, can be savoured again and again, ideally on a windy, rainy winter night.
The Vice: Trade (2002)
Another Acting Masterclass from the brilliant Ken Stott
It's a familiar plot, young girl goes wrong, police catch the right guy...eventually. It's not that which makes it good. From five minutes in Ken had me. I mean he's always good and this series, along with Messiah showcases his talent perfectly, but in this one he opens all the taps. His demeanour right at the start makes this episode an 8+ rating. I gave it 10. He makes it look so easy. Not acting. The mark of a true craftsman.
In a Heartbeat (2014)
Yep, it's Tripe. Sorry Danny
I love Danny Dyer and gave it half an hour trying to ignore the female leads terrible acting, expecting something to happen, but I gave up when it looked like more of the same was on the way. Should have known better after five excruciating minutes at the start watching her dribble about under a duvet in the park.
Sorry Danny, even you can't save this one.
Greyhound (2020)
At Last, Another Real War Film
Just epic. An epic story depicting the epic struggle and enormous sacrifices made by unbelievably brave mariners during the second world war.
This is Tom Hanks at his best, totally committed, totally believable and magnetic on screen as the inexperienced captain of the destroyer USS Greyhound, beset by the Nazi wolf pack on convoy escort duty in the treacherous seas North Atlantic.
It takes a real star to carry a movie like this. They just don't work if you don't have one. An admirable performance also from the excellent Stephen Graham as Exec Officer Charlie Cole.
God, even the CGI was brilliant. The ships looked real, the waves looked real and the battle sequences show exactly how far the tech can take you these days if used properly.
Anything less than a 10 and you're hard to please. As someone who loves and has been watching war films for over 50 years this one is right up there with the best of them.
Highly Recommended.
The High Chaparral (1967)
Still the Best. Always will be.
My very first memory of colour TV was watching The High Chaparral at my pals house at the age of 11 in 1967. I never forgot it and now over 50 years later I still remember the impact it had on me back then. Nothing has ever come close to the colour, the drama and the brilliant theme music of this legendary series. Buck, Blue, Manolito and Big John were indelibly imprinted on my young mind and I've loved westerns ever since. Revisiting the episodes now has been better than I could have imagined.
The wonderful Linda Cristal, as Victoria was my first screen crush and watching her again now I can see why. She was absolutely beautiful. Her presence made the series perfect.
Leif Erickson always embodied the archetypal strong 1870's western ranch owner for me in the same way that John Wayne did on the big screen. The superb Cameron Mitchell was the TV equivalent of Clint Eastwood; the hard as nails, no nonsense ranch hand throwing caution to the wind and always standing up for what was right whatever the consequences.
Great performances in every episode from Henry Darrow and Mark Slade add immeasurably to the sensitivity and feeling of each episode rounding out the storyline whatever the content.
From the moment David Rose's epic signature tune cranks up with it's iconic graphic only title sequence to the reprise and end credits it's action all the way with the storyline being carried purely by the skill of the actors. No special effects, no cleverness or camera trickery, just a plot with a beginning a middle and an end making each different story a mini movie in it's own right, with a huge canvass being painted in just an hour, something which is difficult to achieve with this level of characterisation.
The High Chaparral remains the iconic western tv series, often imitated back then but in my view, never bettered.
I, Tonya (2017)
Uncomfortable, Sad, and Ultimately Inspiring Brilliance
Wow, where to start. Well, let's start with Mum. A simply awesome characterisation from Allison Janney. Hated her from the start. Hated Jeff, Tonya's boyfriend/husband/assailant even more, but not much more. A superb performance from Sebastian Stan, but of course the real star is Margot. Start to finish she's superb. I wanted her to be beautiful and she was. This time mostly on the inside. As far as I'm concerned she can do no wrong and rightly deserves her place in Hollywood's A list. I didn't know the story but do know a little bit about skating, my wife having been a competitive skater, and the skating was truly impressive, expertly captured, and never boring. What I wasn't expecting was the realism and the violence throughout. I cringed all the way through. However I got to the end of I Tonya feeling truly inspired. It is a cautionary tale of true courage in adversity and a young soul, broken but ultimately undefeated. And expertly portrayed.. and I like that. The other thing worth a mention is the great soundtrack. The bit when ZZ Top cranks up blew me away. Time well spent, recommended.
The Railway Children (1970)
A Perfect Moment in Time.
I was 14 when I saw this film for the first time but it has remained one of my favourites for 50 years. Funny how it's the sentimental ones that you remember fondly, not the blockbusters or the ones with all the special effects. I've seen it only a couple of times since, usually on a winters Sunday afternoon, and after all this time it still brings a tear or two to my eye.
You would be hard pushed to find a more quintessentially English film or one more perfectly cast. I probably fell in love with Jenny Agutter back in 1970. Maybe that's it, but this simple story of kindness repaid is beautifully filmed, delicately directed, timeless and enthralling. Dinah Sheridan is lovely as Mum, Bernard Cribbins, vastly underrated as an actor, delivers a masterclass in character acting and the great William Mervyn does what he always did best, playing the perfect kindly old gentleman.
Lionel Jeffries masterpiece. Impossible to forget.
Warlock (1959)
A Classic from the Golden Age of Westerns
I love westerns, and this one is up there with the best of them. What makes it great, is, as others have said the depth to which the characters are fleshed out in the time provided and it's deftly directed psychological aspect. As with the other films in tier 1, Warlock is much more than a good guys bad guys movie.
What unfurls is a two hour acting masterclass from Henry Fonda at the height of his fame. His magnetic screen presence is unquestionable and this brooding performance as the man in black suits him to a tee.
Richard Widmark and Anthony Quinn's performances are extremely close behind and Quinn benefits from the most complex role. The interesting plot and this trio of screen giants makes this a perfect (and eminently repeatable) afternoon's viewing.
Somewhere in Time (1980)
Think you're tough...? Tears will come..
Some movies don't need a review, everybody knows them. Every now and again you discover one you want to share with everyone unlucky enough not to have seen it. When compelled to write a review on here the first question is always how many stars should I give it? You could agonise over it, but it seems downright wrong to give Somewhere in Time anything less than a 10.
The mark of a good movie is that it affects you. If it affects you to the point where you are still replaying the scenes in your head the following day, can still hear the theme music and still have tears in your eyes you know it's got you.
Now I can see why this film has such a following. When I read the synopsis I stumbled on... uh, it's Christopher Reeve..... and it's set in 1912.... I needn't have worried. Christopher is superb; eminently believable and a perfect suitor for Miss Seymour. It's the unexpected beauty of their performances in that period setting which catch you off guard and knock you off balance for the duration of it's woefully short 1h43m.
The plot starts off like a steam locomotive leaving the station, moving slowly at first gradually picking up speed and building in intensity. By the time you're 40 minutes in and you haven't seen the leading lady you find you're actually yearning for her along with Mr Reeve. When you finally see her in the picturesque sunshine of 1912 she is everything you (and he) imagined. It had me from that point. What unfolds after that is truly spellbinding.
Ellise is perfect. Flawless. That's it. Jane Seymour is, as she has always been, magnetic on screen. The look on her face together with the words she speaks during the scene of the performance of the play is priceless; conveying the only sentiment which itself transcends time.
If you are lucky enough to have experienced pure love long ago you will already appreciate how very hard it is to capture that feeling on film. This has been skillfully achieved in Somewhere in Time despite it's meagre budget.
The other element which lifts the film to the heights rightly deserved by a 10 score is John Barry's deeply emotional score which literally rips your heart out.
Titanic, 17 years later, is a similar story in many ways. It was a box office smash on a huge budget crammed with special effects but it is the simplicity of Somewhere in Time which in my view equals it and in many ways trounces it. The lone special effect in this film (A special split focus diopter lens) is used at the most appropriate part of the story and to devastating effect.
Any remake would be absurd. An attempt to recreate this level of screen magic without Jane Seymour (or Christopher Reeve) would be absurd. You can't improve on perfection.
Rogue Male (1976)
A Thriller in Every Sense
Whether made in the '70's or not I found Rogue Male to be an undiscovered gem. Some films you see and think nah, I won't want to watch that again and some haunt you for days even years after. Rogue Male is one of the latter. Peter O'Toole is simply superb throughout, perhaps a tad hammy at one point but even that's forgivable. And there is, as another reviewer has also said an air of The 39 Steps about it. In fact it was this reviewers comment I had in mind throughout. There is also an acting masterclass from Alastair Sim, playing his usual likeable self as O'Toole's well connected uncle. For such a small cast, the film is, despite the somewhat dodgy 70's production, a little belter.
The Haunting (1963)
Come On, Come On
I'm a huge vintage movie fan, particularly the '50's and 60's, and I love the supernatural stuff but.... I just don't get it. Why does this film have such great reviews, 'scariest film ever' etc. It was like a bad episode of The Twilight Zone, but just an hour too long. It plodded along at a snails pace with the only relief being the score. There are many far better examples of the early psychological haunted house movie, the Legend of Hell House, for one. Shot in the UK but supposed to be the US, well okay, The location for the house was great, a great cast, good cinematography but....well that's it. I really wanted it to be great but I could only give it a generous 4 for the acting, cinematography and music. It's one best chalked down to experience, I'm afraid.