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BrandonLycett
Reviews
Rebel Moon - Chapter One: Chalice of Blood (2023)
Lets play 'what film is this bit'
Really wanted to like this film.. Had so much potential as an adult star wars.. But it just felt like it was bits of films that had already been made, cobbled together to make a new film. We found ourself playing 'name the film: ooh.. Bugs life, ahh - Dune, this bits the Cantina.. Etc.. Etc.. Charlies ' irish' accent was the bit that finally made us turn it off to revisit when we were in a different mood. Why couldn't he just use his own accent, being space Irish didnt bring anything to the character.. The space German uniforms of the bad guys made us roll our eyes as did the complete lack of depth of the villagers.. 'well now we have to fight' said with no emosh at all 🤣 I'm Afraid Snyder isn't the director I thought he was after the brilliant Watchmen, man of steel and Dawn of the dead remake.. Something changed and he's lost his way. I can't put my finger on it but this left me feeling insulted, the same way army of the dead left me feeling. Shame.
Paint Drying (2016)
Better than Citizen Cane
I'm all about family, so I love the dynamic this film creates. The allegory of how the paint binds to the wall to me represents how the bond of family effects how we treat each other... With the drying aspect representing the way our relationships change over time. The release of Volatile Organic Chemicals feeling like the negative aspects of how we can drift apart of we're not careful cinematography was mesmerising, with the subtle hues of the paint merging from wet to dry. Just wow. This is now in my top 10 movies of all time.. I eagerly await the 4k Blue ray release, hopefully with a full directory commentary.
M3GAN (2022)
Very predictable by the numbers thriller
Nothing new here.. Tech goes bad.. Guessed the exact story after a few obvious set ups and a few more Checkovs rifles. If its your first time watching a thriller or first one about a mental toy/doll/psycho you'll be blown away.. Otherwise zzzzzzzzzzz. The young girl was good, as was the main woman.. Everyone else was crap.. Like, TV movie crap, especially the tech boss and his assistant. The thing in the woods with the stereotype bully was very predictable and I'm pretty sure ears don't stretch like rubber.. And bleed more when ripped off 😂 The only point I really enjoyed, and I use that term loosely was the montage!! Every movie should have a montage!!
Black Mountain Side (2014)
Incoherent drivel
Archaeologists find some stones in the mountains that are very old.. Apparently. They waffle a lot. Then one of them gets sick and develops a moving lump under his skin. They argue a lot and start mutilating themselves for no apparent reason. One of them starts to turn into an octopus, again, for no reason. One by bone they start to go a bit mental as their radio breaks. A deer/man thing arrives who stand on 2 legs with a very deep voice appears and tells them he is god. They all kill each other except one man who goes for help in - 50 degree weather but he gets caught in a bear trap and it goes off.
Old (2021)
Bad. Really bad.
Source material must have been OK but the acting and the dialogue was aweful. I'm an MNS fan but this was his worst love by far. Did he forget how people talk and act in the real world? Or even films? I actually thought the twist might be it was a badly written film within the film. That's how bad it is.
The Unholy (2021)
Aweful movie
Badly cut together and with such a derivative and childish plot I'm surprised it attracted such big names. You'll guess the ending after the first 10 minutes and when it happens it's just boring. Absurd plot points with people being killed not even raising an eyebrow. A flaming cross falls on a priest and the main characters don't even try to see if he is still alive or help him, they just walk away.. With no flames being visible through the church windows. Very very poor.
Monster Hunter (2020)
Awful, even for a no brainer popcorn movie
No plot, dodgy effects, terrible acting and no plot. Did I mention no plot..
There is hardly any backstory, no character development so you don't really care if they survive. Felt like a syfy channel production.