Britney-Keira Reviews

Alex Cross (2012)

This Aint Alex Cross

[3/10 · 16 November 2021]

Having read all of the Alex Cross books, it is clear that even though they are trashy and not that great, that the character of Alex Cross is not at all represented by this rubbish movie.

It is so far away from the Cross novels.

Nama Mama was all wrong.

The kids were the wrong age order.

He was always in DC His friend was black not a white dude And the story was very average.

A disappointing movie.

Polly of the Circus (1917)

Nothing Has Changed

[6/10 · 4 September 2021]

194 years after the movie and we still have pharisees in the church - judging others and pointing their boney old fingers without showing love, or mercy.

Pointing this out was the highlight of this movie.

It is a pity the final scenes were so rushed, there needed to be another fifteen minutes to wrap things up without rushing it so much.

The Clown Murders (1976)

A Boring Mess

[1/10 · 3 September 2021]

Well that was a boring mess of a movie - a big steaming pile of crap - the only thing worth watching was the John Candy eating scenes - and there were several of those.

What a waste of 96 minutes.

Simply Raw: Reversing Diabetes in 30 Days. (2009)

The Companion Piece to Super Size Me!

[9/10 · 10 December 2010]

This is an incredible documentary, and really a must watch movie. It is showing what can be done by taking us back to raw foods.

It is well made, very naturalistic, and whilst overtly emotional at times, it never descends into sentimentality.

The results are dramatic, and the exercise is very profound. It was a real wake up call to what we are doing to ourselves, and is thoroughly recommended.

Morgan Spurlock is featured in this movie and it is a great companion piece to his Super Size Me, almost a sequel to what happens if you live the opposite way to what he did in that movie.

A great challenging movie.

Down in the Valley (2005)

A Fatal Flaw

[3/10 · 4 November 2010]

This movie has essentially one major flaw, which in the opinion of this viewer is a fatal flaw.

It is not a flaw concerning plot holes or anything of that ilk, in fact it is a much more serious flaw than a simple 'goof.' The problem lies with the fact that the viewer does not care for any of the characters. There is no-one he can empathise with, no-one he can say he is on the side of. They are all just simply annoying.

The voice over which we hear on occasions is more annoying than anything else.

Norton and Morse do there best with the material, and both show they have some acting skills, but do we actually care about either character? We don't and so we watch the movie come to what is a fairly inevitable conclusion without much though for them at all.

This one is pretty bad.

The Betty Boop Limited (1932)

Another Beautiful Betty Boop Film

[8/10 · 5 March 2010]

I have been working through the Betty Boop catalogue, and this is another beautiful example of how good Betty Boop is! Wonderful animation, Koko tap dancing was extraordinary, especially when we consider it was 1932.

The surrealistic images, the wonderful song from Betty, complete with Boop-Oop-A-Doop! This is a warm, fresh, original animated short, and it makes you wonder what happened to that originality in animation, apart from the genius of Studio Ghibli, and some of the Pixar films there is not much to say about modern animation, and there is less to say about amimated short films.

This was fine animation, and should be watched by all!

Inglourious Basterds (2009)

Absolute shocker...

[3/10 · 16 January 2010]

I have never been a big fan of Tarantino, I did like Kill Bill (although I thought it would have worked better as one movie, and Volume one was much stronger than Volume two) and I had heard some good reports for this movie so I went into it expecting something pretty good - I was wrong.

This film was a shocker, from long meandering scenes of meaningless dialogue (the opening scene went for twenty minutes and could have been done in four) The film had all these different threads which were just left hanging there, it started in one direction, then left that hanging out in the wind, whilst it went somewhere else, and never returned.

Was it a drama or a comedy? It has been nominated, how I don't know, for a drama award, and yet it was more like a comedy (a bad one) than anything else.

It was a totally unbelievable, lets get all the main Nazi leaders in a cinema and have two guards for the whole place, and leave a black man to wander around freely locking up doors and starting fires.

It made the Jewish into evil thugs and suicide bombers, and was a right wing anti-semitic piece.

This proves one thing to me, Tarantino could put anything, absolute anything on the screen and some people will give it a high score.

This is easily one of the worst movies of 2009.

War of the Worlds (2005)

Painful and Dull

[3/10 · 2 October 2009]

If War of the Worlds proved anything it proved this, in a big action blockbuster full of explosions, we do not need endless character studies.

People will tell you in X movie there was no development of the characters, we did not feel their motivations etc, that works for a drama not a movie like War of the Worlds.

You see none of the characters here were likable, and the more the movie went on the more unlikeable they become.

Finally the boy vanishes, in a totally ridiculous scene of father choosing between two children which could have been very easily resolved. As a friend of mine says one of the most unrealistic scenes in movies, Then he suddenly re-appears, in a very weak unsatisfying conclusion.

You know if you want to listen to a young girl screaming for no particular reason for what seems like hours on end, and watch long elongated quite boring scenes (like the one in the house with Tim Robbins) go for it, for me a movie with explosions and aliens has to be a little more entertaining, a little less painful, and you know what we know it is fantasy so don't try to make it seem realistic.

The more you make a movie like this seem real the less real it gets!!! There is a world they exist in, and this wasn't it.

A gracious 3 out of ten.

Road Rage (2007)

Excellent Short Film

[9/10 · 20 February 2009]

Road Rage is a short film from the 2007 Tropfest. It is one of the sixteen finalists on the annual Sydney Morning herald DVD.

Road Rage is an excellent short film, which looks at a common problem in our inpatient modern age, and then turns it on its head with a great use of humour and pathos.

Road Rage has genuine funny lines, and is touching at the same time the viewer knowing this is a 'I wish society was really like this' scenario.

It is then part fairy tale part reality, but merged in a way which is inspiring and challenging, that none of us are immune from life's problems, and if we would help each other then life would be better.

It is the best film of the eleven out of sixteen I have watched so far.

Silk (2007)

A meditation for the ears and the eyes.

[10/10 · 3 May 2008]

This movie will not please everyone, in fact certain people will probably hate it.

I loved it.

I loved the quiet melodic atmosphere it created.

I loved the narrative voice, which I normally hate.

I loved the many visual wonders, every room it seemed was made to be something more than a mere setting, it was art.

It drew me in, in made me want to visually experience every scene, it itself was a character in the story.

I loved the music, it was gentle and reflective. It also was a character in the story.

The acting was good, solid, and appropriate for the type of story.

The story it self was closed, revealing only what it needed to, provoking emotional reactions where it needed to.

This was not merely a story, not merely a tale to be told, rather it was a meditation for the ears, and for they eyes, wrapped in a story as old as life itself, of love, obsession, and wanting to have what we cannot, and forgetting about what we already have.

I believe this is a film to be watched, but understand it will not be liked by all, for me I am already counting the moments until I watch it again.

Such is the nature of some obsessions...

A Twist of Sand (1968)

Basically it was boring...

[4/10 · 20 April 2008]

The basic problem with this film was it was simply boring. It did not leave you at all interested in the characters, and there development or to care what was going to happen to them.

The second problem was the superfluous nature of the character played by Honor Blackman, apart from falling over a lot, she did not seem to do anything.

The third problem was the lack of chemistry between the leads.

The fourth problem was the total predictability of the way it ended, there was nothing really to get excited about. The film was not that great, I would not choose to recommend this title to you, reader.

Hitch (I) (2005)

Not Wills finest hour

[4/10 · 9 April 2008]

I like Will Smith, I think he is in some real fun movies, I have enjoyed watching him and I like Rom-Coms. This however was very disappointing. Will seemed sincere but there was just a lack of chemistry between the tow leads, and the female lead was, well, not likable. I knew he was going to end up with her (oooh spoiler there!!!) but really by the end I did not care. So it really was like an elongated sit-com, when the idea of a relationship consultant could have been explored in a far better way. Having to make another point to fit the space - I would say there are better rom-coms to see and there are better Will Simth movies to see - choose one of those films if you want either a Will film or a Rom-com. This was not one of Will's finest hours. 4 out of 10.

Rendition (2007)

You need to be provoked!

[9/10 · 26 February 2008]

Some films are designed to just entertain you, others to make you laugh, or cry, or uplift, others, like this, aim to provoke, to make you think, and to make you angry. I was angry during this film, not at the film, but at the fact that it was true, that America, the free, does torture in the illogical view that it is doing it for the greater good. The torture scenes in this movie were harrowing, the indifference of people was shattering, the film was compelling in its argument, and showed just how wrong it is to torture people. Of course now that makes me a "bleeding liberal" labels shoved on people by others who shut their minds to the facts that this does happen and should not. People who don't realise that as the movie said, for every person tortured,you get ten or one hundred people rise up to perform acts of vengeance. You get an ever increasing cycle of violence. This film did not make me hate America, although I can see how it could do, but it made me hate the way that America has reacted in its post 9/11 world. There is a significant quote in the film, just after we have learned that 19 people have died and seventy five were injured in the bomb scene, the quote is "one American is dead" - that makes the difference. You cannot kill an American, America can kill thousands but you cannot kill a single American, or they will do whatever it takes, including torture to enact justice. This is the American way apparently. Call me a liberal, call me naive (although I think the people who think torture is fine are naive) call me deluded, call me anything you like, but this film is a brilliant example of what is wrong in America and the west today. I wish this film would be shown to all school students, at a minimum. This film will stay with me a long time, part of me wishes I could forget it, because I wish this type of thing never happened, but I know it does, the other part of me wishes I would never forget, because we need to remember these shameful events to prevent them from happening again. Whatever happens to me, this film will be with me for a long time, and I will be telling everyone I know to watch it, not to be entertained, but to be provoked, because sometimes we all need to be provoked.

All the Way (1988)

Ambitious Project that did not quite work

[22 August 2007]

All the Way was a mini-series working as a pilot for a drama series. It was cashing in on the 1980's nostalgia of the 1960's. The mini-series was five hours long, in three parts, very similar to many other mini-series of the day in length and similar to the Ten Network mini-series 'Vietnam.' The series then became a weekly drama serial, which did not rate. One of the problems was change of actors from the mini-series, so, for example, Penny Seymour played by Jacqui McKenzie in the mini-series became Dannii Minogue in the actual series. I did not see a lot of the series but I certainly liked what I did see, and I think it was a case of bad timing in its failure, there was also as I said similarities with the series Vietnam, both in the sixties with teenage daughter and father working for the Australian Government. There was as I recall one really good episode, in the actual series on Censorship, and for that alone I do remember the series. Sadly, not much else about it is remembered, and even this site at this stage does not even mention the 24 episode run, which I have tried to correct. For any information you want, if anyone does venture this way look up the URL - http://www.crawfords.com.au/library/series/alltheway.shtml it does not say much but gives some brief information on a series which has all but disappeared from memory in Australian TV history.

Taurus Rising (1982)

Poor Man's 80's power soap

[6/10 · 20 May 2007]

Taurus Rising was very average fair - it was not terrible, but it was not brilliant either. It was Austrlaia's answer to the power soaps of the greed is good era of the 1980's, Dallas, Dynasty, Falcons Crest, etc. It lasted twenty one episodes and was canceled due to low ratings. It had all the usual plot lines of take overs and political maneuvering in business, done in the shallow and simplistic way of the soap. It was also done on a limited budget, and was surprisingly well received in the USA, so much so that there were regrets that more episodes were mot made, not so much for our market, but for overseas markets. There was a recognition that TV can be global and a show can be made after it has had its success in its home nation - I suspect Neighbours will continue to be made for some time because it is popular in the UK and other nations and not merely for Australian audiences. Taurus Rising - it would be nice to see it again, see the costumes and the 80's power all on display. Don't hold your breath for a DVD release, it is one show that has long been forgotten. As people say there is a lot better TV and a lot worse, and this is one of those shows stuck firmly in the middle of it all.

Doppelganger (1993)

Simply terrible

[1/10 · 2 February 2006]

Even in a bad film, there is usually some redeeming feature, something that you can say yes it was terrible, but there was that performance, or that part of the script, or that special effect, this was just simply terrible all over. The acting was laughable, the script terrible, complete with many inexplicable Breakfast at Tiffany's references, and even the special effects were shoddy at best. This was a very bad film and one that even Drew Barrymore wishes was expunged from history. Watch it if you want to: a) Suffer harsh self inflicted pain. b) See just how bad a film can be. This is one film where I can use the cliché "there's ninety minutes of my life I will never get back" with some justification!

The Man with 100 Faces (1938)

Who is Crackerjack?

[6/10 · 30 January 2006]

Well no it is not a movie about lawn bowls and featuring Mick Molloy and other Australian actors, this is the British comedy of years gone by with Tom Walls and his typical farce and comedic stylisings. I have began watching Tom Walls comedies, in a race of filmographies with my brother and this is the third Walls comedy I have seen. This seems to be by far the best of them, and he appears to have honed his style. The beginning is especially memorable with the theft of diamonds and the switching of these around. The movie is very amusing and is well worth the watch, it is not an outstanding movie, and I am not as dedicated to Tom Walls as my brother is, but his movies are usually diverting and not terrible. This film is well worth a watch and is Tom Walls, watch this film to get a real understanding of the Walls filmography.

A Cup of Kindness (1934)

Typical Tom Walls Farce

[4/10 · 30 January 2006]

Well I have become a Tom Walls "expert" now with this the fourth film of his I have seen. This is a mild comedy of word, manners and farce. It is typical Tom Walls fare, although it seems to be an early example of a style he later perfected. The supporting roles do their best with the material and make the appropriate faces. The bizarre get of the old cranky scheming uncle who lives upstairs is a bit disconcerting, and the musical interlude where they are in the stone age is amusing. Overall a mildly diverting comedy nothing to write home about, but not the worst comedy I have seen. Mainly for the Tom Walls fans out there. At least it did not wear out its welcome with its length (unlike these reviews which insist of a minimum of ten lines of text!)

Strange Boarders (1938)

Intriguing Premise, Not so intriguing fulfillment

[6/10 · 30 November 2005]

Strange Boarders opens with an old lady being hit by a bus in pouring rain, copies of blue prints for a secret machine of some sort are discovered on her person and intelligence is called in. Our hero (Played by the very British Tom Walls) is on honeymoon and this is interrupted for the sake of the nation. He goes undercover and of course his wife tags along, believing he is having an affair. The plot then goes into a more comedy routine, farcical situations where the married couple are pretending not to know each other, as a Mr Bullock, and a Mrs Heifer. There are some good elements, and some may be fooled by the mysterious Mr Smith, although I was pretty certain who it was. The highlight of the film is a young Googie Withers in a stand out performance. Tom Walls is OK, and although I have only seen two of his movies to date, this being the second, he seems to play the same character. I wonder if this will be repeated in other films he was in. Over all an entertaining watch, but don't expect brilliance, expect a nice diverting hour and a quarter of mystery and farce.

Lady in Danger (1934)

Obscure, light and passable entertainment

[6/10 · 11 November 2005]

It sums it up really doesn't it. It really is an obscure movie, mid thirties and fairly short, and judging from the number of votes here, little seen. What can you say about this film? It is in the very British model of farcical comedies where mix ups are often and communication is forgotten. There are moments when you laugh out load and there are moments where you groan in exasperation. Interestingly though, throughout this film you can see ideas that people have grabbed and ran with. The main character played by Tom Walls has been explored more fully in many other movies, including spy movies and comedies. This movie is a forerunner to other, more fully realised, and fully developed stories. It is entertaining enough, and for me has been the first Tom Walls film I have seen. I look forward with interest, to seeing other of his films. Don't expect greatness here, expect an hour of light entertainment, and you will not be disappointed.

Some Girl (1998)

Totally Appalling in every regard

[1/10 · 26 September 2005]

This movie is simply awful, it is appalling in almost every regard.

It is sanctimonious, it is self-serving, it has some of the most annoying, self indulgent, non-sympathetic characters drawn in two dimensional fashion, it is ugly and uninteresting. The good thing about it was that it was very short in length and so spared the viewer from too much agony. From the very opening of this movie to the very close the viewer is not drawn to have any empathy for any of the characters involved, they are all to self centered and they learn nothing through the movie, in fact their selfish ways are validated and they have no redemption, they just go on doing the same old. Clearly this movie is written by someone young without experience in life, or someone who just has no idea. Do yourselves a favour, avoid this film.

The Dismissal (1983)

The way television should re-create history.

[10/10 · 25 June 2005]

In nineteen eighty two when it was announced that the Dismisal was going to be made , there was a storm of controversy. This was an event which still left open wounds in the hearts and minds of the Australian people. After some changes (listen out for the well timed telephones ringing to disguise names) the Dismissal went to air. It was nothing short of brilliant. The leads were perfect. Max Phipps as Gough Whitlam lead the way, closely followed by John Stanton as Malcolm Fraser and the evergreen John Mellion as Sir John Kerr. The time was created well, the feelings of the people were well done and the political elements were not two dimensionally made into melodrama as in so many American series. The Dismissal was a faithful re-creation of a time in Australia which some would rather forget and which we cannot forget. it did not take sides and it pointed out the mistakes and lies of both sides. It leaves one wanting to maintain the rage and change the constitution which still allows for this to all happen again. The Dismissal is now available on DVD in Australia. Watch it, learn from it and learn about our modern history.