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Reviews
Star Trek: Voyager: Distant Origin (1997)
Horrifyingly relevant to Trump's America
This may be the most poignant episode of Star Trek for 2024, other than the actual episodes where they literally go to 2024 in DS9 and Picard.
To see perfectly and clearly laid out the methods which the Church uses to censor and destroy knowledge and information which disagrees with their archaic superstitions is honestly horrifying.
From Galileo "claiming" the Earth orbits the sun to the exploration of sexuality and gender by modern science and philosophy, this kind of fear of losing control is exactly what leads billionaires and con-men to use religion.
A poorly educated public is a public which is easy to control.
Evolution is real.
Trust science.
Leave religion in the past where it belongs.
Doctor Who: Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS (2013)
In which Clara wears the shortest skirt...
That's not very feminist!
So here's the thing about Clara and Moffitt...
It's pretty obvious that Steven Mofitt developed a huge infatuation with Jenna Coleman. She's a great actor, and started out as a great character.
This episode is such a classic episode of DW, with an engaging plot, characters, twists, and everything you could want.
And Moffit has Clara in the shortest skirt possible, being shot largely from floor-level.
I'm a straight man, so I don't mind it. But man, it feels so deliberate that the sexualizing of the character fully distracts from the story that could otherwise stand so entirely on its own as a timeless and classic episode of Who which could honestly take place with any Doctor and Companion.
Lift (2024)
Utterly devoid of charisma, comedy, and originality.
This isn't just your average popcorn blockbuster. This is way, way worse.
From the opening shots of this planecrash of a film it is transparently clear that F. Gary Gray is more interested in making you remember his other, much better heist film, The Italian Job.
Ripping himself off, we jump from nearly a shot-for-shot recreation of the opening heist from The Italian Job into a series of situations so unbelievably contrived and cookie-cutter that you'll be stuck with an undying sense of Deju Vu as you watch recycled action and plot points from any of a dozen other films joylessly slapped onto a story so disjointed and uninteresting you'll find yourself begging for it to end.
Played by actors clearly filming with stand-ins and against CGI backgrounds more at home in a mid-2000's educational film than a multimillion dollar action film; characters with no motivation or personality mime their way through a by-the-numbers plane heist / hijacking which culminates in one of the least engaging finales you will ever see.
Echo (2023)
Earned badassery from Echo.
Full of complex, relatable characters, kick-ass action, and a badass, talented lead character who earns her place on the screen and onto the Marvel landscape.
A character with multiple disabilities in a story that isn't just about her disabilities.
Good old fashioned revenge story which takes its time to develop not only the lead character, but the entire Choctaw nation, showing us badass moments from American history from before Europeans arrived in a way that is rarely seen on film or television outside of the history channel.
Fun secondary characters, and a clean, if underwhelming finale.
I hope we see TONS more Maya Lopez in the future.
What a fantastic show and continuation of the Kingpin Saga.
Rough Night (2017)
Worth being rated a lot higher.
A fantastical farce which successfully flips the script on the average bachelor party film with the hand-wringing wives at a tame wine-tasting, while the uproarious comedy follows the bachelors.
Scarlett Johansson leads a top-tier comedy cast through a veritable comedy of errors involving drugs, murder, strippers, political intrigue, gangsters, and kiwis.
Rough Night: Genuinely, comedy gold.
A female led farce full of alcohol, drugs, strippers, and amusement. Full of a lot of laughs, relatable situations, and absolute absurdity. It will make you laugh, cringe, and root for unexpected characters. Definitely worth a watch, especially if you're in the mood for something sexy and funny.
Mythic Quest: Raven's Banquet: To Catch a Mouse (2022)
Just none of the episodes this season leave any impact.
I love Mythic Quest and I will stick with it as long as it is on the air. Fantastic, fantastic characters, genuine heart, clever dialogue and storylines...
Which is why it's such a bummer that Season 3 has next to none of that.
Honestly, the season was boring from start-to-finish, failed to capitalize on any of the cliff-hangers from the end of Season 2, and in general felt significantly more vapid and disingenuous.
Messy and confusing with storylines that go absolutely nowhere, other storylines that drag on far too long, and no real sense of consequence to anything.
I'm very, very bummed at the sharp drop in quality for Season 3, and I really hope they get their groove back in Season 4, cause I will still be watching!
Morbius (2022)
Please, Sony. Stop.
What a horrible movie with some truly talented people pulled into it.
A plot that is so cookie cutter your grandma pulls it out at Christmas...scientific garbage spewed in unnecessary scenes designed to try and justify an idiotic premise, but without the eloquent execution that Marvel Studios has managed with so many more ridiculous concepts with ease.
Saved only by Matt Smith, whose best scenes are all clearly heavily improved.
Venom, and now Morbius both end with massive boring fights with tons of visual trash and clutter surrounding two versions of the same guy crash into each other over and over.
Oh, and they fully took the shockwave punches and like half the finale fight right from Man of Steel, just made it worse and even less human.
Baywatch (2017)
One of the only films I have ever shut off.
This movie is so aggressively stupid it even fails to make every member of a cast that includes Zac Efron and Dwayne Johnson even the smallest bit charming.
It's not charmingly nostalgic.
It's not even funny.
It's just....nothing.
Sunnyside (2019)
So much better than the reviews...
This so deserved not only to finish its season, but to get several more.
Yes it's a little conventional with its plots sometimes, but so is every sitcom.
They do such a good job of building characters that are genuine and real and work super well as vessels for exploring the real life issue of DACA, and immigration under 45's regime. Brutally real, and I think that's why it failed to land with people.
Too much of a reality in the face of the general public, too poignant and real to be funny.
Which is a shame cause this show was quite exceptional.
Cosmic Sin (2021)
Skip right to the 25 min mark.
As a big fan of cheesy B-rated sci-fi and horror films, I had hoped the combination of Bruce Willis and Frank Grillo might give some young director's script life.
This is not a script that needed life.
The first half hour could have easily been a low-rent zombie flick with not much going for it.
Instead, by attempting to create a sci-fi world five hundred years in the future, yet showing an essentially modern earth, and completely failing to pay attention to even the most basic of details like the progression of vehicular or sidearm technology, the world feels weird and imbalanced.
After the half-hour mark, we end up with a film that is entirely dependent on having Bruce Willis inside a suit of cheap cosplay exo-armor. Plot points are unclear, storyline progression is scattered.
There are a handful of good shots and halfway clever lines, and the sniper character is charming enough, but it easily could have been a 45-min short film, and would have been much better for it.
Lost: The Man from Tallahassee (2007)
This is the Jump The Shark episode for Lost.
What an absolute nightmare of a ridiculous story.
John started out as such an engaging, intelligent, capable character and now......
Every time we get a new backstory episode for any of the "main" five characters it just further removes that character from any realm of believability. How many times is John or Jack's dad gonna show up in some ridiculously convoluted way, just to create some huge overblown drama that never matters or actually goes anywhere.
And good god, could we stop having every single character be a con man?
I mean come on.
A.P. Bio: The Harvard Pen (2021)
Bring back Lynette.
The new romantic interest is horrible, bring back Lynette.
Also give your writers more time to perfect their scripts for S5, the last two seasons have been extremely imbalanced, some episodes are masterpieces, while others are nearly unwatchable.
Ever since the move to Peacock, it's been obviously rushed, and it's hurting quality.
CANT WAIT FOR SEASON 5!!
A.P. Bio: Malachi (2021)
Shockingly uncomfortable. (Bring back Lynette)
Joe Manganello is in true form bringing out the most uncomfortable aspects of a situation like this.
But what the actual f about this grown ass woman maintaining a relationship with an inmate she was writing to as a sixth-grader?
This is an unforgivable level of unhealthy and dangerous relationship and just shows even more how awful this new girl is.
Bring back Lynette, this lady is nuts.
A.P. Bio: Tornado! (2021)
A.P. Bio is back in true form!
After the complete mess that was Season 3, it's so wonderful to have the show be back, back up to its original quality of seasons 1&2.
I know the move to Peacock was probably weird for production, but you guys have to give your writers and crew a little more time to get this stuff right.
A.P. Bio: An Oath to Rusty (2021)
Completely forgettable.
Barely a chuckle was induced upon that day.
Genuinely just the least interesting collection of side-plots thrown together into one of the most mediocre episodes of the whole show.
Still better than a lot of Season 3.
A.P. Bio: The Perfect Date from Hell (2021)
You're not my real Lynette!!
Bring back Lynette, she was way more clever and able to challenge Jack, not just be "also a mess"
The Witcher (2019)
Why should I care?
I just watched the entire first season in an afternoon and failed to give a single sh t about a single character in the entire show.
Who is anyone?
Where are we? What countries?
What is anyone's motivation?
Completely incoherent and hollow.
Sexy Beasts (2021)
Stop hiring models.
If this show was done exactly the same but with actual people not NYC and London nightlife models, it would actually be worth something.
WandaVision: The Series Finale (2021)
Bonhergate
Just insulting. Ralph Bohner? Are you kidding me?
What even was the point of packing this show full of Easter eggs and spin-off setups just to give us THAT finale??
Comics have always been political. But endings require more than just a big social Justice monologue .
"Live your truth" isn't exactly applicable to beings capable of rewriting reality.
Idiotic.
The Swing of Things (2020)
A staggering lack of swinging for a swinging film.
If you are a drunk film student looking to feel better about your own work, look no further.