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Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)
Hack Snyder Finishes Off Destroying Cultural Icons
This film was a long drawn out tedious dismal bore. Period. If that wasn't bad enough, the beloved character of Superman is completely annihilated in a thoroughly insulting fashion. There are a lot of Zack Snyder fan boys worshiping this lackluster filmmaker of limited talent, and that's unfortunate. It's a monumental shame WB gave him the keys to any comic book hero film franchise at all, and I'm someone who actually thought "Watchmen" wasn't all that bad. People still love the characters of Batman, Superman, and Wonderwoman, but with that said, this is a movie that could have done close to Star Wars box office numbers. Instead, under the seriously flawed incompetent direction of a hack like Snyder, we got this mess. Even Michael Bay could have given the source material a desperately needed morsel of levity. All creative control should have been removed from Snyder, and this should have been a stand alone film under the direction of a much more talented and skilled filmmaker rebooting both Batman and Superman. That was yet another giant mistake by WB. This should never have been a followup to the much maligned and critically panned, "Man of Steel". In an effort to "nolanize" Superman, they allowed an inferior filmmaker compared to Christopher Nolan go completely off the rails with such a disconnected total misinterpretation of the Superman character to the extreme that it wasn't Superman. It would have made sense to have this be a followup if "Man of Steel" had been well-received like "Batman Begins". As the saying goes, fool me once WB shame on you. We were all fools to give them a second chance and pay money to see this poor excuse for what should have been an amazing film. The first two hours were a spectacular utter bore with subplots that were neither interesting enough to care about nor necessary. The character of Lex Luthor is an extremely intelligent criminal mastermind, not a socially awkward schizophrenic played by the miscast Jesse Eisenberg. The worst offense of this film is how Superman is killed off by an ill conceived CGI blob that was supposed to be Doomsday. Jimmy Olsen is shot and killed in the monotonous first half of the film in a scene that doesn't even identify who he is. He just appears out of nowhere. Holly Hunter's character is killed off. Laurence Fishburne's scenes could have been completely cut out. They added nothing to the story. If Snyder claims he actually does have reverence for these characters, I wouldn't want to see what he does with characters he doesn't. In fact, I don't want to see what he does with any other comic book character ever. Marvel will continue to dominate with their films over DC until massive changes are made. It's not rocket science. Like may other people who saw this film, I won't be paying to see "Justice League" as long as Hack Snyder and David Goyer have anything to do with it.
Jack Frost (1997)
Can't Believe Shannon Elizabeth was in This
And that she had any career whatsoever afterwards. lol. This pile of excrement is so awful I would give it a zero if I could. It looks like a group of 14 year old boys made this. If it was meant to be low budget to make it funny, it wasn't. It wasn't funny. It was just really bad. I'm sure Shannon Elizabeth wish she could forget this was ever on her resume. This should be shown in film schools as in the way not to make films. The snow man looked so ridiculously stupid as did the entire movie and too dumb to be funny either. I really am shocked anyone invested their money into the making of this stinker. The effects were so fake and ridiculous but so poorly done. It is deserving of a zero rating.
Man of Steel (2013)
This is NOT Superman
Before I even review this movie itself, viewers need to recognize the fact Warner Bros. spent millions on mass marketing of a new Superman movie when it doesn't even have Superman in the title and the actual name of the character is never spoken. That says a lot. While DC comics decided to "reboot" Superman, there is still a very specific mythos to Superman as a character which cannot be changed or it's no longer Superman. Essentially, director Zack Snyder with the studio's blessing decided to make him "cool" by veering off course and violating very basic principles of who Superman is morally and ethically. To change the signature costume of Superman is one thing but Snyder and company go much further. No spoilers here just plain fact that this is NOT Superman and nothing more than an attempt to slap Christopher Nolan's name to a film in order to get people to see it. While it may work in the short term, the problem is how monumentally flawed this "new" and "updated" incarnation is of what is supposed to be Superman which is why it is getting such a poor reception from most critics. The chemistry between Superman and Lois Lane is nonexistent and with a horrible script by David Goyer, the actors cannot be necessarily blamed entirely. As for Henry Cavill, I wouldn't call him a horrible actor but he does not pull off the charisma and most importantly the essential dichotomy between his alter ego as Clark Kent and as Superman. However the producers, director, and writer of this mish mash mess of a "reboot" didn't help. At least, Brandon Routh had the all-American wholesomeness similar to that of Christopher Reeve. Certain liberties are taken with how Clark Kent is presented in this movie which I won't give away. This movie is full of creative choices that make absolutely no sense and defy logic in general not to mention everything about who Clark Kent/Superman is. That's why this should really be referred to as a "reimagining" and a very poor one at that. The race of Perry White and gender of Jimmy Olsen is changed for no plausible reason other than to be "progressive" but Laurence Fishburne is a gifted actor wasted with the bland material he had to work with. Ultimately this is a knockoff of the real Superman character playing off the success of "The Dark Knight" films. The worst part is the CGI overkill which is a page ripped right out of Michael Bay's book on worthless filmmaking. It is becoming painfully clear how much like The Transformers this film is and any subsequent installments will only get worse. Hence we have Christopher Nolan's involvement to thank for this garbage. However I'm sure he is regretting his name being attached to this right now with the kind of reviews it is getting. Fanboys will surely cry when he chooses not to be involved and have his name attached to any sequels. Director Zack Snyder is definitely on his way to becoming the next Michael Bay. This "reimagining" is far from a masterpiece like Richard Donner's 1978 classic, "Superman". John Williams epic theme is sorely missed but fortunately not associated with this disaster. Even "Superman Returns" with it's flaws at least remained true to who Superman is as the character has and always will be. "Man of Steel" is a complete insult to over 70 years of rich history regarding the most iconic superhero character in the world. It's truly sad to see the character portrayed so badly and ruined by this film. I'm sure we'll be seeing "Man of Steel vs. Transformers" coming soon in 2016. No matter how much money or how it appeals to today's junk minded kids it will never be fondly remembered the way Superman always was and should be.
Piranha 3D (2010)
Absolutely Horrendously Lame
This was so predictably boring and lame from the shoddy embarrassingly bad CGI and 3D to a bunch of horrible actors and I mean no one in the cast was even remotely capable of redeeming this total waste of time not to mention film. The director does not show even a microscopic speck of talent in terms of this completely nonsensical B-movie slop. It is B-movie for bad and not the least bit fun to watch but oh there is the Girls Gone Wild crowd who will flock to see the T&A and horny teenage boys stupid enough to pay to see this third rate poor excuse for entertainment. I cannot honestly find any reason to spend one cent on this totally godawful film unfortunately. Save your money because you will be let down.
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)
Are you kidding? Seriously IQs plummet from viewing this garbage.
If this is what profitable Hollywood box office smashes have come to, I'll stop going to the movies. This was so inane your IQ literally will drop as you watch this visual mess for 2 and a half hours. As for the plot...uh...story if you can even argue there actually is one. It is just pure spectacle for kids with serious ADD. It's a shame how these kinds of films are now what gets green lit over anything with an actual story that requires actual thought! Michael Bay is not a director of people but a director of multi-million dollar Hasbro toys where the actors are just the window dressing and the script sounds like something a fifth grader wrote.
The Last House on the Left (1972)
Sheer and Utter Feces on Celluloid
For the first part of the film, I couldn't help but stop and wonder if I was watching a John Waters film with the delightfully awful dialogue and over the top ridiculous characters and really bad 70s music but this was a lot less fun than any of Waters' classics. This pile of feces suddenly turns into a snuff film. Don't be fooled. This is a rapist fantasy for ugly men who hate women disguised as something of artistic merit. To call this a classic, is beyond bad taste. Yea I'm talking to you Craven. How you made it as a director after this vile crude garbage just goes to show Hollywood has had a long lasting love affair with sick bastards like you.
The Hills Have Eyes (2006)
You are truly a sick person if you liked this
All I can say is this piece of garbage is not another "horror movie". It was conveniently placed in that category, but in reality, it is a visual feast of Satanism. I'm sure Satan is pleased and proud of all those who were involved in making this kind of abhorrent sadism served up for mainstream America. And oh how the weak and vulnerable gobbled it up. It's sad the way so many people will try to shrug it off and act like this movie isn't a work of truly sick and depraved evil and actually even have the audacity to try to call them artists. No sorry. Sadists/satanists is more like it. I was so angry and sickened after seeing this film it had me praying for a 9.0 earthquake to level Hollywood and for the Earth to swallow up whole those despicable soulless human beings who get this kind of vile vomit made. Craven you are one sad, sick human being. I never really liked the Freddy Krueger/Nightmare on Elm Street movies and always thought those were gross and bad enough but this goes so far down further into the depths of deeply disturbed and dangerous minds. Folks film-making just doesn't get any lower than this. Save your money and don't contribute to it. It's not creative. It's not unique. It's not anything but downright sick and evil.
Superman Returns (2006)
Bryan Singer Revives the Franchise Beautifully
Bryan Singer truly deserves tremendous credit and is a real life hero for reviving and saving such a beloved franchise from a disastrous fate similar to what happened to the Batman franchise. It could very easily have and almost did. Warner Bros. had a lot of the wrong people like Jon Peters with the wrong idea about how to relaunch the movie series. Fortunately Singer prevented a "rethink" or a complete departure from the previous Superman films specifically and most importantly the first two which are considered classics by many, myself included. He managed to stay true to the movie magic that was created in the first two films. There are scenes in the movie that seem to mirror that from the original Superman while adding new touches. That's where Singer truly shines as a director.
There are some minor flaws however. Some casting choices were kind of disappointing. Kate Bosworth as an actress seems average in terms of talent and really doesn't exude the brassiness and spunk to make a good Lois Lane. She pales in comparison to Margot Kidder's bold and confident Lois. Sam Huntington just seemed to totally lack the youthful exuberance and likable nature of Jimmy Olsen. At times his attempts to portray the character in a humorous manner seemed forced. Frank Langella is a great actor but not a choice out of actors that would have much closer fit the role and from what I understand he was a replacement for another actor who was set to play the part. The rest of the cast worked together nicely. Parker Posey and Kevin Spacey had a few scene stealing moments. Kevin Spacey's darker and edgier Lex Luthor was a high point. Brandon Routh doesn't hold a candle to Christopher Reeve but there is no actor who ever could because Reeve brought the character to life perfectly like no other actor before him and no other actor probably ever will. At the same time, Routh holds his own and does a fine job of playing the role with heart and soul. His weaker moments are as Clark Kent where he doesn't show much of a difference between his alter ego the way Reeve did in making them polar opposites. The only other minor problem with the film is its length as many others have noted. It really did need edited down especially towards the end which seemed to start to drag. Aside from these minor flaws, Singer presents a story with a great deal of heart and appropriate reverence to the comics and the original Richard Donner film. He definitely was the right man in Hollywood for the job, and I'm sure the best is yet to come from him.
Slither (2006)
Absolutely Horrendous
A second grader could come up with a better movie than this! This movie is so ridiculously bad it's actually insulting. If this was meant to be a spoof, it wasn't funny at all. It definitely wasn't scary at all. I couldn't believe how any major studio could actually green light a film this atrocious and throw money away on it. Hope the actors in it keep their day jobs. Everything about it was stupid beyond explanation and the only horror was spending money to sit through this total sh*t! It is one cliché after another with cheap rip-offs of other far superior superior horror films and fails miserably with attempts at gore and is just such complete nonsense that makes little plausible sense from beginning to end. If you want to be grossed out, vomit on the floor which would be more fun and entertaining than seeing this garbage.
Brokeback Mountain (2005)
Eat It Up Conservative Middle America and Choke on It!
Let me just start out by saying this was not one of the best movies I have ever seen. It wasn't life changing or so moving for me that I wept by the movie's end. At the same time, I do think Heath Ledger's acting performance is worth high praise as well as Ang Lee's direction. I love this movie for sticking it to the Conservative and Religious Right in this country because they asked for it. That's why I tell everyone I know to see this film. The political landscape swings to the right and something in our culture such as this movie becomes a smashing mainstream success! Otherwise it would have been just a fairly good movie seen mostly by a gay audience. Instead the movie has taken the red states by storm and has everybody talking. Thank you Carl Rove! Thank you George W. and the rest of your camp! The result of the 2004 election helped pave the way for this kind of homo mania, and there is a lot more to come! Would it have been like this if certain right wing politics hadn't played their dirty hand to use gay rights as a wedge issue to get Bush re-elected in 2004? Of course not! If you are going to oppress a minority such as gays and lesbians as second class citizens denying them all of the same rights as everyone else, expect much more of this. It's a nice big man cream pie in the face of the Ann Coulters out there and their extreme right agenda! I could be wrong, but I believe this movie wasn't made for political reasons. However timing is everything. It just happened to come out no pun intended at a time when it had unprecedented impact. This movie was not made to titillate. It just happens to be a story based on the fact two ordinary men CAN love each other more than just "fishin buddies" but a lot of small minds don't want them to. For that reason, this movie has more than artistic merit and earned a place in American film-making history.
Down (2001)
What the #!***!
It was actually disturbing how bad this film was. It wasn't even bad in a funny way and at times I wondered if the filmmakers intended certain scenes to be. Either way, they need professional help. I was most disturbed by the fact the beautiful and talented Ms. Watts was in this. Boy did the next object of King Kong's obsession come a long way from this pile of stool! I couldn't believe she was in this wretched mess but even in such grotesque toxic waste she shined through. I couldn't make any sense out of much of anything in this film. Another part that disturbed me was the reference to Bin Laden and the eerie 9/11-like feel during the President's speech. Was 9/11 the reason this cinematic fiasco went straight to video or was it maybe Ms. Watts' agent who made sure it was kept pretty hush hush. Of course now Ms. Watts is about to appear in King Kong, the movie pops up again on cable. This travesty deserves to get "THE SHAFT" and flushed "DOWN" the toilet!
Starship Troopers (1997)
Disturbingly Awful
Paul Verhoeven is by far the worst director, a graduate from the Ed Wood School of Gratuitous Garbage. This film was bad - DISTURBINGLY BAD! I cannot believe this guy continues to make piece of s**t after piece of s**t. Basic Instinct was bad enough. Showgirls was something so embarrassingly awful even Ed Wood couldn't top such a horrible mess, and then there's this disturbingly awful travesty that is one of those movies where you sit there wondering WHY, HOW, AND WHY again over and over and WHEN WILL THIS ASSAULT TO THE SENSES EVER END? I kept expecting to see Elizabeth Berkley pop out of one of the absurd looking aliens and do a dance number topless. Verhoeven will definitely go down as the worst director EVER!
Get Rich or Die Tryin' (2005)
King Kong is an Ape Worth Watching, Not this Talentless Gorilla
For the love of film-making, the Hollywood idiots who allowed this movie to be made should be checked into their nearest mental facility. I despise rap because of performers with zero talent like this and would never even consider wasting my money to watch such an individual on stage or on screen, but to those poor unfortunate souls who actually emulate such a repugnant talentless ugly Neanderthal and make richer, don't waste anymore of your precious brain cells on such festering manure as this as well as your money. So this man was shot nine times and is a product of the streets. How does that make him worthy of a semi-autobiographical movie? The real question is why someone hasn't shot him yet a tenth time and got it right. The entertainment industry really is in a dire funk to have to resort to such extreme lows. This criminal turned celebrity is a novelty created and manufactured by Eminem and Dr. Dre to further make money on today's impressionable youth. His fifteen minutes have been long gone, and his music needs to go with it. Kanye West is the real hip-hop talent and is giving them all a run for their money. He's raising the bar in terms of quality and substance that in my opinion even Eminem's juvenile popularity can't compete with. It's time for the industry to get in touch with what hip hop is becoming rather than what it has been which is insulting and degrading. More artists like Kanye West are coming and will be changing all that to give the hip-hop genre the respect it deserves. This film makes Mariah Carey in "Glitter" Oscar worthy. I cannot comprehend why the media crucified her for making that movie and continue to put this talentless gorilla on a pedestal. Just goes to show what todays male performers can get away with as opposed to the females. At least Mariah Carey actually has talent as opposed to the gorilla.
Batman Begins (2005)
Heighth of Hollywood Catatonia
This was the leading film in the summer of unnecessary and instantly forgettable remakes - Herbie, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Bewitched, and I'll stop here before I even get to the wretched horror of The Dukes of Hazzard. And Hollywood wonders why ticket sales are low and they can't make as much money? I realize the fans and critics felt this installment took the legend seriously but sorry comic geeks. A man dressed up as a bat is something that could never be taken completely seriously without a touch of camp. That's why Burton nailed the task of dark with just the right amount of campiness. As for this film, it's neither a sequel or a prequel. Good actors with the exemption of casting mistake, Katie Holmes, good director but other than utterly unnecessary retread of the origin story. Batman has already been reinvented twice and now a third. I will give props to Christian Bale but still not up to par with the likes of Michael Keaton. And Jack Nicholson's performance that was fascinating and brilliant at the same time? That's an impossible act to follow. The villain in this film was neither scary or interesting. Boring and instantly forgettable is more like it. It's no wonder moviegoers are left in such a catatonic state from Hollywood's desperate attempts at creativity. How many times can you reinvent the same franchise? A far more interesting installment should've been BATMAN ENDS.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)
Enough of a disappointment to make Slugworth proud
This doesn't hold a candle to the 1971 original classic. Period. Yes the special effects are superior but beyond that it is instantly forgettable. Gene Wilder had a point that this movie had none other than a much needed cash cow for this summer's weaker box office. Johnny Depp is a good actor but this role was completely wrong for him. His choices of playing Wonka as clutzy and spaced out conflicts with the fact Willy Wonka is supposed to be a mastermind of the candy business. Then of course there is the fact Depp's Wonka looks like something out of a Marilyn Manson video no parent with even half of a brain would bring their kids near. Burton's added back story of Wonka's childhood was his standard fare of misunderstood artist who just wants to feel like he fits in the universe. The brilliance of Wilder's performance was the fact he played someone who came across as a nutcase but was in fact a misunderstood genius always a step ahead of everyone else. Then there's the Oompas and their musical numbers. Oy! Half the time it's almost impossible to understand their vocals and what they're singing. I think this movie proves the general movie going public has become as catatonic in the brain as Depp's portrayal in this film. The children and their parents in this film were equally as practically lifeless. No wonder Hollywood is having trouble right now. This is so much of an insult to the 1971 classic that it leaves you wondering what classic they'll ruin next to get an all age audience back into the theatres.
House of Wax (2005)
Die Paris! Die!
I would have given this one star, but the creepy special makeup effects were noteworthy. The other only redeeming factor was seeing Paris Hilton die a gruesome death! There were actual applause in the theatre which just gave you that warm fuzzy feeling inside like there almost is justice in this world. Other that that, it was just another teen slasher film with no new unique twist. Some of the actors with the exception of Paris couldn't be blamed for the campiness. I was not scared at any single moment in this film, and I felt, at times, like I was watching a Halloween episode of Beverly Hills 90210 or Dawson's Creek with special guess star Bimbo Hilton.
From Justin to Kelly (2003)
It is What it is - MANUFACTURED Hollywood FECES
I am not a fan of the equally manufactured fecaltacular TV show, American Idol, so I knew I would abhor this cinematic debacle. However to their defense, Kelly Clarkson and Justin Guarini are the least to blame. After all they emerged from complete obscurity to become instant overnight celebrities while most entertainers usually take years to get so far so quickly. They were thanking their lucky stars to get to be in ANY film. As disastrous as this film was, they were actually the least annoying elements compared to the 35 year old supporting actors playing college age kids, numerous establishing shots to deliberately distract the audience from the godawful acting, dialogue, and musical numbers, and pointless, ludicrous subplots that dragged out the excruciating 81 minutes of torture. All those who were involved with the making of this pile of s#*@t should be banned from Hollywood especially the man ultimately responsible - Simon Cowell! It was bad enough we have him to thank for the Spice girls but this was beyond heinous! As godawful as a lot of the singers are who try out for his show, at least they weren't the cause of toxic waste like this polluting modern day multiplexes!
Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (1998)
Horror Franchise Identity Crisis
This movie is a really great example of how Hollywood can reinvent a movie franchise not once but twice for one main all too familiar reason - GREED. John Carpenter was a genius because he took what was a simple story on paper and created a horror masterpiece from it equivalent to "Psycho" without a big Hollywood budget. Some might say he simply borrowed from Hitchcock's style so brilliantly achieved in "Psycho" but I feel Carpenter merely used "Psycho" as a source of inspiration for the "Halloween" story. Carpenter also knew how to bow out gracefully after two sequels. The Michael Myers storyline reached a clear, solid conclusion in "Halloween II". To this day, I wonder why he ever bothered with "III" other than trying to simply complete a trilogy and somehow tie it all together with how Halloween really stems from evil origins. Moustapha Akkad obviously felt even more serious money could be made enough to reinvent the franchise in the late eighties without Jamie Lee Curtis and Carpenter on board. Apparently the writers decided to pay homage to Curtis with the whole daughter of Laurie Strode idea and even naming her Jamie nod, nod, wink, wink. The result was an annoying little girl constantly screaming and Donald Pleasance's character dawdling about reiterating a lot of the same verbage about Michael not being human and pure evil, blah blah blah through three additional forgettable sequels. Some attempt was made in VI to shed some light on what might've triggered Michael to start killing as a young boy but at that point, too many different writers, producers, and directors were tinkering with the franchise. It was all over the place. Then in H20, the franchise is reinvented a third time forgetting all about the mess left by IV, V, and VI which didn't seem to matter because a considerably bigger budget meant the return of Jamie Lee Curtis and bigger box office returns. At this point, the story is so far into the supernatural realm and removed from all logic and reality that each further sequel will just become more and more ludicrous as was painfully evident in Halloween VIII. More and more subplots and additional characters are created and then discarded leaving the true fans totally confused and frustrated. Thats why stick with I and II and forget the rest. It's not worth the headache. Hollywood has no idea what it's doing leaving the audience guessing as to what the hell the franchise is supposed to be. I was most disappointed with H20 because it was clearly modeling itself after "Scream" and "I Know What You Did Last Summer". It was wasted use of a talent like Jamie Lee Curtis and an opportunity to shed some light on exactly how and maybe why Michael became what he was in the first place. Everything from the music and the editing was like the "Scream" films which were basically knockoffs of Carpenter's original in the first place. It's pretty bad when you start modeling sequels to Carpenter's far superior original after its campy knockoffs.
Batman Forever (1995)
Blame it on Warner Bros.
One can only hope Warner Bros. learns from the blunders it made in handling the Batman superhero franchise. First off, you don't try to reinvent a superhero franchise in the middle of a trilogy. They should have kept with Tim Burton's vision even if he didn't want to direct and at least made him executive producer bare minimum. As much as Burton was criticized for the much darker tone of "Batman Returns" than even the first Batman, he brought subtance to the characters with unique style, and in terms of box office success, "Forever" did not make a significantly higher jump in profit than "Returns" and had a significantly bigger budget. That just goes to show Schumaker is a hack compared to Burton. He took a different direction that was less dark with more camp. It was an easier and safer route but a prelude to the mess and box office disaster that was "Batman and Robin". Too many characters that were too campy and one dimensional. I actually wonder if The Riddler's line, "Was that a bit over the top? I can never tell" was really Jim Carey talking and commenting about the entire film itself with a wink. It was all downhill from here. Now the studio is reinventing Batman again with a third vision and a fourth actor so it's anyone's guess as to how it ties in with the first four films. If it doesn't at all, I guess we are to assume Batman is considerably younger and it's supposed to be a prequel. If Warner Bros. wasn't so caught up in greed they would stop to think of how it could bring another comic book franchise to life successfully without hacking it to pieces the way it did with Batman.
Final Destination 2 (2003)
Sickest and Most Disgusting Film of 2003
This has got to be the sickest and most disgusting film of 2003.
"Freddy vs. Jason" is probably a close second but the gore factor
is so extreme and overshadows any semblance of a plausible
story. It attempts to tie up loose ends from the first film, but I feel
pity for anyone who found watching the disgusting gross out
deaths entertaining and even humorous let alone anyone trying to
make any sense of the plot which is the same nonsensical
storyline from the first film. It is like a slasher film except instead
of a killer like Jason or Freddy we have Death who is like a person
and seeks out specific people and finishes them off in the most
horrible and gruesome accidents possible except Death is an
invisible force that has some kind of mapped out plan or design.
All in all it was like a theatrical version of "Faces of Death". Be
warned the graphic nature of this film is very disturbing but there is
no real suspense. You pretty much know the one main person
who is going to live and basically has to for there to merely seem
like this mess has a plot as in the first. Mainly it is just one
grotesque scene after another. This one is definitely up there with
"Starship Troopers" as one of the sickest and most disgusting
films ever.
Supergirl (1984)
Super Crap
The Salkinds are the ones who really killed the Superman franchise after the third installment which was a major insult to the fans of the first two. Insiders know Dick Donner was the real force behind the backbone of the first two Superman films. After the Salkinds fired him because of creative reasons, it was all downhill from there. The Salkinds were out for total control which in the end resulted in campy pieces of crap like "Superman III", "Supergirl", "Santa Clause: the Movie" and the "Superboy" TV series. Of course "Supergirl" had potential. The cast had a group of reasonably competent actors and Helen Slater was a promising choice. The problem was a trainwreck of a script. There were various details of the story that made absolutely no sense going beyond the "suspension of disbelief". The cheaper budget showed especially with a lot of the visual effects like Argo City.
The scenes with the model miniatures looked very fake. I remember laughing during the one scene where the flying spaceship looks like a tennis ball. There were scenes such as Supergirl in the alley with the two men that were OK. If only the entire movie had more scenes like that and a story of substance instead of so much camp it might have been more watchable.
Faye Dunaway was mildly entertaining as Selena, the sorceress.
She was at her campy best uttering plain awful nonsensical lines in a performance almost as over the top as her camp classic Mommie Dearest. Brenda Viccaro was somewhat amusing as well. The other characters were window dressings and in some cases forgettable. Jimmy Olsen and Lucy Lane were thrown in for good measure but were hardly relevant to the story, but of course there so many problems with the story to begin with. This really was the final nail in the coffin for the Salkinds as far as their involvement with the Superman franchise. Christopher Reeve made a smart move by not making a cameo in such insulting drivel but who can blame him after what the Salkinds did with Superman III. It's no surprise how Supergirl bombed at the box office and it's unfortunate when it could've been treated and handled with so much better care by the right producers and director. The project needed a visionary like Dick Donner.
Superman (1978)
They Don't Make 'Em Like This Anymore
Note to Hollywood: PLEASE DO NOT REMAKE THIS FILM AND DESTROY ITS LEGACY!
Any Superman remake would have to be a complete departure
from this cinematic masterpiece and present something so
completely different and far removed from what was presented
here. The magic of this film is timeless and I have not seen
another movie come close to its greatness. Cecil B. DeMille's
"Ten Commandments" would be a close second. Director Richard Donner brought the story of "Superman" to life with just
the right balance of the film's various elements. He stayed true to
the comic legend with dignity and tremendous care. Richard
Lestor, who directed parts of Superman II, and the dreadful III went
more in the campy direction which could've easily happened here
but Dick Donner and his team fortunately kept that from happening
and made sure the storytelling stayed sincere. With all of the CGI
special effects technology available today, none of it can compare
to the beautiful artistry that went into the visual effects utilized at the
time. Various techniques were combined and used as well as
totally new techniques created specifically for the film which all
worked together and blended beautifully. Yes some of the
miniatures look fake to the modern day movie goer but this movie
is all about the suspension of disbelief. There is no doubt in my
mind that no other actor can fill the shoes of Christopher Reeves
as Superman. He is a great actor who not only nailed the role but
portrayed to audiences just the right balance between the qualities
he posessed as Superman and Clark Kent in ways no other actor
did before him and no actor likely will after him. Margot Kidder
also was by far the best actress to play Lois at the time and had
an on screen chemistry with Christopher Reeve that is rare and
also magical which obviously worked in the film's favor. The film's
soundtrack by John Williams is also the best of all time. It is
majestic, rich, and awe inspiring. Film majors should watch and
study this one closely. Unfortunately I think this movie is from an
era of filmmaking that is long gone where painstaking care was
taken in creating artistic beauty in every aspect of the film from the
story to the visuals to the film's musical score. This one is
definitely a 10 out of 10 stars for all time.
Glitter (2001)
Sheer Genius
Life would be a lot less interesting without delightfully bad movies like this one. The sheer genius of this movie albeit unintentional is that it is truly awful but in a fun way. It's definitely a must-see for laughs relating to pop culture and the superstar world of music stars. This is a movie you have to take in on the surface and not take seriously at all. The fatal flaw of this movie is that it attempted to come across as serious and dramatic. That's why I have to agree with one of the earlier posts that you can't blame Mariah Carey. It easily could've been a blockbuster parody on the level with "Scarey Movie". I really feel Mariah would've been the ideal choice for this as a comedy where she would've had lots of room to poke fun at herself and her diva status. There were so many moments where I burst out laughing as I'm sure the select few who actually saw this in theatres did. The expression on Mariah's cat surely must've had those who caught it rolling in the asiles. The cat looked as lost and confused as Mariah in this train wreck. Practically every scene with Da Brat was priceless especially her getting kicked out of the limo in what looked like pajamas. I also have to agree with some of the other posts that it was a decent story and the music wasn't that bad either. Overall not as horrible of a film as "Gigli" but I'll save that for another review. Again had "Glitter" been a parody, all the cheesiness and bad acting would've worked perfectly. This is almost worthy of cult camp classic status along the lines of "Mommie Dearest" and "Rocky Horror". For that reason I give it 8 stars!
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)
On the Edge of My Seat
I can't say that about too many movies I've seen this year. Although I should mention that I have not seen the original yet but I decided not to before seeing this one which was a good idea. The reason being is the filmmakers of this version realized most of the kids going to see it would most likely not have seen the original since it came out years before they were born. With that said I was not making any comparisons in my mind to the original and therefore wasn't distracted from the raw effect of this movie. It literally did have me squirming on the edge of my seat from beginning to end. There were graphic and powerful images shot to the most vivid disturbing detail which stuck with me well after the movie ended. To me that is a true horror film experience without the camp or unnecessary nudity of a teen slasher flick. The dark mood and imagery throughout did the trick on a believably creepy level. It made me thank God there aren't truly people as horribly sick and twisted out there who exist like that or so I hope. Although this movie was loosely inspired by a serial killer who had a penchant for skinning his victims and also inspired other movies such as "Silence of the Lambs".
As awful of a place this movie takes you to, you may find yourself wanting to stay. That's why the movie ends leaving you wanting more. I say it's a sure bet that was done intentionally and effectively by the filmmakers to leave the door open for followup films to further explore such a ghastly hell. Many questions are left unanswered. What ever happened to the one girl who managed to escape one of Leatherface's attacks early on in the film? Were any of Leatherface's psychotic family members implicated at all for the events that took place? And of course what happens to Jessica Biels' character after we last see her? We know she survives and it is implied she manages to get help and report what happened. Still you are left wondering, especially with the scene that follows, about what became of all the other characters who remained. I give this film 9 out of 10 stars for the suspense and haunting images.
Jason X (2001)
Most Ridiculously Absurd of the Series
A friend and I went to see this movie knowing what we were in for and that was a total piece of s*** but to my bigger surprise it truly was the worst and most utterly absurd installment of the series and actually worse than the previous dreadful installment. I almost have to think they made this one to intentionally be one big feature length combination parody of the Friday the 13th series and Sci-Fi movies like Alien. There were more than enough parts that poked fun at the horror film series itself like the Virtual Reality Crystal Lake sequence. The ending which I won't give away was so ridiculous I almost rolled into the aisle with the rest of the audience in a fit of laughter! My friend and I were laughing through the end credits along with everyone else as we couldn't wait to get out the exit door of the theatre!