rob1234-56-355912 Reviews

The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009)

100% medically accurate, 100% disturbing

[26 October 2011]

With a limited release and a not so appealing name, The Human Centipede (First Sequence) didn't fair well in the box office, but due to the sickening content and an apparently 'facinating' concept movie buffs all over buzz over it.

I watched this film last night on SYFY channel, a channel which plays The Human Centipede series religiously. I suppose torture porn lovers will adore this movie, or even splatter fans, but I, a slasher fan didn't find this film awfully appealing. I didn't dislike this film, it just lacks character development, and acting to be fair. screams and moans make up 75-80% of dialogue.

I do aim to make my reviews of films longer than this, but i can't find the correct way to describe the film. Its one of them films that every one has to see, even if they don't want to...

In summary, it's an alright film, at a push, but not for the faint hearted.

8 Mile (2002)

Eminem proves he is far more than the best rapper alive/ever in this stunning cinematic achievement

[10/10 · 10 July 2011]

In 2007, i started listening to Eminem's music after i heard his performance in smack that, and i was impressed with his early work and the little amount of music he was putting out during that tough period of his life. i watched 8 Mile after he came back into the public eye and my best mate told me i wasn't a true Eminem fan if i hadn't watched 8 mile, which was rather childish. However, soon after this conversation, a screening of it was on ITV 4.

At the time i was a little too young to understand it fully, but after watching it again recently, i was breath taken by the beauty and realism of this hip hop underground gem of a flick.

If you are so polite as to keep reading this, and you are thinking that this is a biased film review because i am a huge fan of Marshall Mathers, i am attempting not to be.

So, here's the plot. You have your extremely talented rapper (Eminem) trying to make it big, but failing cos he shuts down. 'when it comes crunch time, where do my punch line's go' (quote from the 8 Mile song)who humiliates himself at the beginning of the movie by chocking against rapper Lil Tic (Proof) in a rap battle. After this, the film is about sub plots in his life which include, love, love lost, fighting, gang wars, backstabbing, and problems with his mum and his mums partner. The film concludes with all of these plots coming to a head and sneaking into his amazing final freestyle against the leader of the opposing gang.

Its a rare gem for music movie's, and will be considered a modern classic in years to come, and quite rightly, because this truly is an exhilarating dramatic cinematic accomplishment (some big words for the more intellectual readers)

How does it do this? Well the splendid acting from all of the cast is a big part, a well thought out plot, and an uplifting, funny, and unforgettable conclusion.

In my reviews i usually write about a problem within the film, however, i can not fault this movie at all. The whole thing is just brilliantly perfect.

So, in summary, it doesn't matter if you hate Eminem, hip hop, films, or life, this movie should be watched no matter what. Its truly gripping, and one hundred percent un-flawed in all areas.

Shame this only goes up to ten, cause i can't rate this film high enough.

10/10 Without a shadow of a doubt, my friends

New Nightmare (1994)

Despite disliking the 'Nightmare' franchise, this was thoroughly enjoying

[8/10 · 30 June 2011]

I am a huge fan of Wes Craven, i think he is one of the best in the directing business, however, i was never a fan of the Nightmare franchise. However on a dull winter night i was flicking through the TV listings and stumbled across this on ITV 4. I turned it on just as the film was beginning, slightly expecting to turn over in the next 5 minutes. However i'm pleased to say this fresh take on Freddy Kruger kept my eyes glued to the screen for the full film, without discovering too many negatives on the film.

Where to start? Its tough cos there were many highlights to this film, especially the acting within. The actors put on a stunning show during the film, with much praise going to Miko Hughes for his fantastic portrayal of Dylan Porter. Heather Langenkamp also performed well, which is to be expecting from the main protagonist in the series.

As for the film itself, i appreciated the original plot, and the clever twist on the films, and happy to see the back of that awful 'humor'. In addition, the films ending i found entertaining, yet slightly disturbing in a good way. One downside to the film i think is that it takes far too long for some proper action, and teeters closely to becoming cliché at times.

I think, while watching this, you have to let some of the far-fetched scenes slide to enjoy it more.

In summary, if your a fan of horrors, not necessarily The Nightmare Series, give this a go, i doubt you will be disappointed

28 Days Later (2002)

I could watch this constantly for 28 days.

[10/10 · 27 June 2011]

This was the first Zombie I've ever seen, and i was completely bowled over by how good it was. The tag line is an accurate review already.

So, what is the basis of this movie? we have the jammy bloke who gets locked in the friendly local hospital and wakes up a month later to find London, and the rest of the England desolate. The accuracy of an empty London is quite literally, breathtaking (At a severe risk of sounding strange) Then his lucky butt is saved by bad ass survivors, from there they find other survivors and head up north.

Its an amazing watch and at not one point do you look away from the screen and think 'Could i be doing something better right now?' because, even when the zombies aren't around, it is still a very gripping film.

This is, without a doubt a modern day classic, not just as a zombie film, but as a cinematic great.

It utterly reinvents zombie films for this generation, perhaps forever. With not a moment lacking action.

One thing that stands out more than anything else during the film is the incredibly good character development, which is constantly and highly visible throughout the movie. The best examples of this is how the two main characters develop feelings for each other, and not in the cliché Shakespeare way. As well as Jims growth from timid newcomer to the group, to zombie slaying ass kicker.

All in all its a thrilling film brimmed with explosive scenes and realistic effects, add the great drama and plot and you have yourself a classic, a classic named 28 Days Later

Geordie Shore (2011– )

Funny, charming in a way.

[8/10 · 24 June 2011]

When i viewed this page and saw there was no reviews, i thought i would attempt to get the ball rolling on reviews of Geordie shore. I never watched the original series (jersey shore) however i would be prepared to put money on this been a better show.

Old folk will have a seriously low opinion on this show as they think its a bunch of uneducated idiots running around failing in every aspect of life, and funnily enough, the Sudoku fanatics would be correct. However this north - eastern lot have a certain charm to them that will only appeal to some teens and early 20's.

What makes this show so charming? for me its the escape from the usual miseries of life that are visible in soaps and drama's. Or maybe its because its a welcome rest from other reality shows which push the boundaries of terrible tele further. e.g: Made in Chelsea, The only way is Essex. (fans, please don't try and say it deserved that BAFTA)

Another strong point is through all the drama there is visible character building with out the show becoming dull and emotional.

Perhaps some of the issues the house mates create themselves through immaturity is a slight fault, especially when they argue then are suddenly friends again. That's the only flaw i can think of about Geordie Shore.

At the risk of sounding slightly weird, you would have to be in a good mood to sit through this, because its all about other people having a great time.

Oh, and if this doesn't convince you its worth a watch, there's some nudity. That's only for randy teens though.

So, taking everything into account, Its a bit of a roller coaster as there is a lot going on and the show changes direction every once in a while which is very welcome. With plenty of laughs along the way, with a nice little bit of drama in there as well. Because of this, i rate it a healthy 8.3.. if that's not a little bit random.

Dawn of the Dead (2004)

Its a watchable zombie film, not on 28 days later's level though

[6/10 · 23 June 2011]

Dawn of the dead is your average zombie film with your not so common twists which pushes this apocalypse remake into the category of 'just watchable'

You have your young woman. the police guy who gets on your nerve. the beast black guy of the group and your other stereotypes from a zombie apocalypse flick.

The survivors are trapped in the local mall and bide there time as the group of menacing flesh eaters out side grows. after a while they flee and live not-so-happily ever after.

The film has a weak start, and flaws are visible throughout the film. such as severe lack of character development and some rather unrealistic escapes from the hordes.

these weaknesses aside it actually is a good film, not just for zombies. the characters are lovable and there is some funny banter in there while there is a sense of teamwork throughout the movie.

Just what makes Dawn of the dead memorable? i can answer that. nothing.

Its the sort of film you get up from and think, huh, could have done something better but ah well.

A good time to watch this film would probably when your bored out of your mind, cause, despite its flaws, there scenes that make you think 'that was actually worth the wait'

so, overall, its a film, if you like films, watch it, if you don't like films, don't. that's all its boils down to really.

6.5 out of 10 for me. and that might be me being a bit harsh on it.

Black Christmas (1974)

A surprisingly entertaining slasher

[8/10 · 2 June 2011]

Before watching this film i was worried i would be wasting one and a half hours of life. As the first scene started i was moaning about how stupid and predictable it was when the girl wandered over to the closet when it rattled. When she solves it i let my guard down, and jumped a meter of my seat (no exaggeration) when the killer appears from nowhere and slaughters her. (previous to watching this i watched Ammytiville horror with out flinching) weirdly, i clapped at how it made me jumped.

As the film progressed i became more joyful as the kills became increasingly twisted. (something i seek for when watching slashers) Another reason this movie is good is because the plot is original, unlike most 70's/80's horror's.

The only reason i didn't score this movie a perfect ten is because their is a lack of character development in my opinion, with non of the girls in the house being a sole victim or taking a lead in the film. One last thing i put Black Christmas down on is the obvious lack of comedy, with all the film being directly focused on the plot with not many, or no, jokes, puns or funnies. However, i understand some fans may be happy about this.

in summary, a must watch for any slasher fan with a spare 2 hours on their hand, but beware, this is not a film for those who are jumpy

Scream (1996)

A must see for any slasher fan!

[10/10 · 23 May 2011]

If you haven't yet watched this film but you know the plot is a killer dressed up chasing some teens and think it sounds all too unoriginal, think again!

The first 15 minutes of this film will go down in not just horror cinema history, but cinema's history in general. Also, even if you have watched just one horror film in the past, the rules stated in this movie will make perfect sense.

Scream is one huge guessing game, and you can almost guarantee your first and second guesses wont be correct.

Another great thing about Scream is that it catches you off guard with the comedy it has in between death/chase scenes, and in some cases, comedy during these tense and on-the-edge-of-your-seat scenes.

Overall, its a complete must see for a slasher/horror fan of any level, as it is a surprisingly brilliant masterpiece of a horror flick.

Two and a Half Men (2003–2015)

One of the best comedies I've seen, yet i understand the criticism

[10/10 · 17 May 2011]

Charlie Harper's(Charlie Sheen) paradise life is suddenly spoilt when his hapless and bumbling brother Alan Harper(Jon Cryer)moves in with his 'underachieving' 10 year old son after he is kicked out by his wife Judith.

I have seen every one of the fabulous episodes from this happy and cheerful American comedy. The witty metaphors are a definite highlight of the show as well as the characters lovable persona's. the differences between the main characters are what make this show as great as it is, and no matter what troubles occur with Charlie Sheen in his private life, he will go down in history for his performances on this amazing sitcom.

I love this show mainly because its my sort of humour and has the variety of characters i enjoy. despite this, i fully understand how people could be quick to criticise the show, especially how Charlie's regular sharp tonged outburst's may deter first time viewers from becoming a fan, because i too started out like that when i first saw Two and a half men. Its all a matter of understanding the joke, laughing and continue enjoying the show if its to your liking.

Personally, its a favourite to me, and to many others, but like i said i understand how Two and a half men could be criticised.

P.S throughout the series history, Berta the obnoxious housekeeper (played by Conchata Ferrel) was always my favourite character mainly because her hurtful comments towards all the others around her, as well as the nicknames she came up for people... I will always remember her for naming Alan 'Zippy'