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Cees-Timmerman
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Reviews
No Country for Old Men (2007)
Boring
There's a reason most movies focus on the action and/or have a narrator. Also 800 per gallon of fake blood is hella expensive. If you're a hipster looking for a depressing movie, look no further.
Jurassic World (2015)
Okay
A bit redundant with the "be nice to dinos" message, and uneven plot armor, but thanks to the sponsors there were nice new dino scenes among the callbacks.
Suicide Squad (2016)
Very Bad
Too many characters. Instead of repeating scenes and using slow mo and quick cuts for drama, improve the dialogue and explain why the audience should care about what's happening. Who was that unlikable black lady and why'd they let Enchantress use her killer feats on random strangers instead of the main threats, anyway? 4/10.
Peter Pan: The Quest for the Never Book (2018)
Surprisingly epic.
One of the best versions of Peter Pan. This feels like a series fit into 90 minutes. Suitable given the day.
Whereas most adaptions such as the Disney versions have a few minor things going on per movie and linger on drama, this version's pace is a little relentless, but better than becoming a clip show like Eragon. There's enough content here for a series, especially given the Lost Boys now include girls who barely got any attention. Also, it does the magic book bit much better than the Neverending Story sequels.
Robot Chicken: Star Wars (2007)
Boring
30 minutes of lame Star Wars sketches from various episodes of Robot Chicken, padded with 7+ commentaries, 3 unrelated bonus episodes, and lots of black and white production photos with commentary that appeals to teens i guess.
Ju-on (2002)
mehhhh...
Babadook did it much better than this boring xenophile bait.
My Science Project (1985)
Meh.
The slapdash Ghostbuster-y twin movie of Weird Science that still manages to be rather boring despite its memorable scenes.
The Boy in the Striped Pajamas (2008)
Great
...except for the flipflopping moods and 8-yo boys that don't know about (poorly guarded) prison.
Psycho Diver: Masei Rakuryu (1997)
Ugh
Similar to Eyes Wide Shut (1999) except things actually happen. Too bad most of the movie is too dark and static to see them. I prefer
Akira (1988), Ghost in the Shell (1995), The Matrix (1999) and Inception (2010).
Shihaisha no Tasogare (1997)
Too short
Interesting cyberpunk version of The Guyver, but where is the rest of the story?
Baio hantâ (1995)
Boring
The Guyver ('80s) and Wicked City are similar and do manage to hold my attention. This could've been a 20-minute episode.
Kyûketsuki Miyu (1988)
Left thirsty.
Too bleak and episodic for me. Some nice looking characters and surprising common sense, though.
I prefer more lively demon hunters like Sailor Moon, Blade, Xena, Buffy, and the Charmed.
Being John Malkovich (1999)
Drug-addled adult fantasy
I expect my movies to make sense. This fantasy does not. The characters' lack of common sense is as incredible as the magic tunnel.
It's a modern Alice in Wonderland where Alice is played by a creepy misfit.
I prefer The Unpleasant Profession of Jonathan Hoag (1942), and Men in Black (1997).
If this nonsense actually floated your boat, you might enjoy Paprika (2006), The Tatami Galaxy (2010), and Donnie Darko (2001). The latter's mood i actually enjoyed.
Under the Mountain (1981), Terminator 1-3, Sliders, and Monty Python's skits all feature travel to/from fantastic worlds and pertain to more than guessing at symbolism. Once Upon a Time... Life (1987) is even educational.
That said, this movie's sorta lesbian sex is enjoyable, and common sense can be pretty uncommon.