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maerlyn138
Reviews
John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum (2019)
I am not impressed by these movies
I know that his is a popular franchise, however after watching this installment I can't help but notice the silliness of it. John Wick once again gets out of and right back into trouble, again. He seeks to make amends to clear his name performs the task required to meet the head honcho of assassins. Then fights his was back and within seconds of completing this task that will clear him of his wrong doing he is talked out of it. Then the battle ensues once again against antagonists so bad at their job you wonder if being an assassin is really all that difficult. I realize that John is the super assassin of all assassins but the are of these battles and the total ineptitude of his attackers makes me wonder if he's that good or if everyone else is just terrible at their job? Numerous times they could have just killed him easily but instead they seem to stand there waiting to die. Also, the sheer number of assassins that just come out of the woodwork on a moment's notice make me wonder if a good quarter of the population is secretly an assassin. If these assassins were really all that good at their jobs, how many of them would you really need?
Hot Forever (2022)
Not much comedy
Tedious to get through this "comedy" special. I think she spends way too much time on social media because he jokes only make sense to people that live online. She doesn't seem to be able to tell stories or jokes that empower women without tearing men, oh sorry "boys", down at the same time. A lot of soap boxing about issues that aren't really issues for the majority of women. Worrying about vaginal tightness and taste?! Where does she get this stuff? Then there's the predictable "men make women feel bad about themselves", whereas in reality it's women that make women feel bad about themselves. Not very enjoyable. A single watch.
The Black Phone (2021)
Not much story
A lot of possibilities for a story but no development just a bunch of unanswered questions and confusion. There's no motive. There's no reason why the sister dreams things. No explanation about the mother. No explanation why the police can't seem to locate the only black van in this tiny town. What's the deal with the phone anyway? No explanation. Why does the killer wear masks? No explanation.
Why the black balloons? No explanation. Why is his brother some sort of coked-up amateur Sherlock Holmes? No Idea.
Not scary in the slightest. No tension. Nothing but time out of my life lost forever.
Insidious: Chapter 3 (2015)
Ugh
Wow. I genuinely feel sorry for the actors in this movie. I think this movie was written and directed by a middle school theater class. It's just awful especially compared to the others. It honestly not even worth watching. You'll just regret it.
Obi-Wan Kenobi (2022)
Big disappointment
Oh well. I have come to just not expect much from Disney at this point. The acting, with few exceptions, is terrible. The girl that plays Leila takes the title from the kid that played Anakin as the worst actor ever. Just awful. Obi Wan is being chased for bounty, but instead of putting on a disguise he has to chase this bratty kid around. Just silly. A waste of a concept.
Halloween Kills (2021)
Just skip it
I could tell in the first 5 minutes the low quality of this movie. The script, the acting, the action, all bad. I felt irritated watching this as I just wanted it to be over sooner. Rob Zombies Halloween is "The Godfather" compared to this. Not worthy of a watch.
Life & Beth (2022)
Nothing original
I really liked this show when it was called "Shrill". Really though it's the same basic model of that show just with slightly different things happening and a different cast. I guess if you like Amy Schumer you have a good excuse to watch this. I could take it or leave it.
Marry Me (2022)
Same stuff, different actors
Not much new here. A weak attempt at trying to make a memorable romantic comedy, but it's just too predictable to be anything more than just a throw away movie.
Moral of the story: you can accomplish anything if you have a famous mother.
Fear Street: 1994 (2021)
This was supposed to be scary?!
As a lifetime connoisseur of horror I have to say that this was a huge letdown. Nothing about this movie was scary. It was more like an extended mixtape for teenagers who like 90's music. Painful to watch.
The Matrix Resurrections (2021)
Contains maybe 20% original material
Whew! It's a toss up between this movie and "Rise of Skywalker" for the worst movie I've seen. Predictable and uninteresting. I would've rather seen a movie that took place after the third and before this one. It was painful to watch this whole movie but I felt like I needed to finish it. Glad I didn't bother seeing this in the theater.
Red Notice (2021)
It was just OK
Sort of fun. Had some twists. A lot of Ryan Reynolds doing his perpetual Van Wilder schtick. Gets tiresome after awhile. Fun movie otherwise. Seems like a vaguely planned filler movie to make money.
Hit-Monkey (2021)
Almost immediately tiresome
The witty dialogue tries too hard to be funny and just becomes annoying after awhile. Without having any background information about this character this show means nothing to me. Marvel seems to overestimate how interested we're going to be in their obscure comic book characters.
Eternals (2021)
Started strong, became a plot mess
The beginning had me so hopeful and it just morphed into this cobbled together plot that stopped making any sense. The ending makes no sense in "the grand concept" of the universe.
It's just "Rah Rah, we saved earth!! (At the cost of billions of other lives, but hey: Earth is #1) Ugh, really bad. I had no emotional investment in any of these characters. The writers sprinkled in a couple references to the greater MCU, but it seemed forced and out of place. Badly written, bad story, too much current U. S. center social pandering. Not a rewatchable movie for me.
Robin Hood (2018)
Painful
I could barely make if through this crap fest. My god it was just awful! Some kind of retro-futuristic dystopian...whatever. Just don't even bother. At one point I was just listening to the dialogue while doing other things and just this was annoying. This movie needs to be sacrificed at an alter and removed from existence.
Supermarket Sweep (2020)
Way too much Leslie
I love the show but Jones is just too loud and obnoxious. She seems to think she's a lot funnier than she actually is. Her constant screaming and shrieking make the show nearly unwatchable.
Justice League (2017)
A total loss
Watched this again for some reason after watching the real Justice League movie and it's just terrible. No character development, rushed story. Will not be watching again.
Chopped Next Gen (2021)
Big miss
5 minutes into the first episode I knew I didn't like this show. The host is annoying. The whole 'Next-Gen' this and that gets old really quickly. The chefs are maybe a couple years younger than chefs on any other cooking show, so the 'Next-Gen' aspect is just a marketing gimmick to try and woo a specific demographic. Mostly though it's the host that makes ne want to turn it off.