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Road House (2024)
Pre-production hell lost a stinker in letting this one out.
That's where your $85 million went. When an intellectual property like this one changes hands enough times, it gets expensive and the end quality gets rushed-out and chewed-up in the process (I'm not holding my breathe for the Crow remake, which also lost it's best-case-scenario cast and crew.)
I'll give this one credit in establishing itself; It lets you know right away that's it's nothing but dick-swinging, macho-posturing, brainless whatever, right out the gate. That scene where Elwood gets stabbed and doesn't immediately dispatch the perpetrator, sets the bizarroworld tone of this movie (and tone is definitely not a strength in this flick.) The thing with Bizarroworld though, is you have to be damn good in order to execute it properly, a' la Once Upon A Time In Hollywood.
There was no way this wasn't going to be compared to the original, seeing as how that is the ultimate bouncer flick, was written well and had as much firepower behind the camera as in front of it (you had Henry Kingi's stuntwork, Benny Urquidez' martial-arts training, Terry Funk's wrestling and even Patrick Swayze's flat-singing to add to the magic.) You had the right amount of 80's last-hurrah cheese to enjoy the utter decadence of it all, you had actors from all walks of entertainment life, who managed to maintain or even advance their careers due to their involvement in that film (a feat quite amazing for a movie that suffered heavily from 3rd-act fatigue.)
The odd thing I noticed is the zeitgeist trends around both movies kind of honestly mimic each other: We're currently living in a time where censorship and narrative-control (such as less nudity, gun-violence, threatening tone and mise-en-scene, and expletives,) are domineering factors in content, the early 2020's not being as open about this problem as Hollywood was in the late 80's, patting itself on the back for the successes of lightweight pablum like Sleepless In Seattle. The original RoadHouse partially earned it's stripes by being a movie that was happily bucking against this trend, whilst the remake plays right into it with mindless aplomb.
This film might have had a quirky charm divorced of it's IP, but on that merit I can still see why the studio pulled the plug on a theatrical release, it's just too awful to bank on, hands down. The CGI is atrocious and absolutely does not show the strength of the multi-pass editing techniques they were going for, standard editing with forced perspective shots (which they still use, just to bad effect,) would've been better than who or whatever thought this looked complete.
I will easily criticize the writing on this, it's pretty damn paint-by-the-numbers basic, but also notably absent of any motivation (which, it seems, none of the actors ever asked the writer or director what it truly was.) You're invited to, and may even want to shut off your brain to enjoy this, but there's just not enough decent, memorable scenes or lines, sleaze factor or even nudity, to appeal to the primal.
That leaves the actors, where this whole endeavor easily falls apart. I don't know how Jake Gyllenhaal operates, but this movie certainly showcases how much he won't personally push the envelop, seeing as how he ultimately had the access to the source (I can't imagine a world where, on the Donnie Darko set, he wasn't told personally a story by Swayze about how he got his ass kicked on that movie,) and still didn't nail down (or demand to have nailed-down,) what made James Dalton such a compelling character.
Elwood Dalton is certainly well-acted inside his box, but his character demands to be let out of the box, and we simply don't see it here. Everyone else pretty much fits this description, you have a criminal waste of J. D. Pardo, Jessica Williams, Joaquim de Almeida, hell, even of your Post Malone as far as I can tell. I'll add Conor McGregor to this list, even though he got the best part out of them all, allowing him to chew up the admittedly questionable scenery.
The mise-en-scene here does work quite well, but I get the impression the DP got way too much freedom to bulk up their portfolio on this, seeing how the angles are all quite intriguing, but clashes with the utter dud of a screenplay and dialogue everyone else is given to work with. The date scene is a great example of this, get a quirky location and just ruin it with the lack of context within it's own narrative.
Doug Liman's flop-era won't stop this sequel from coming, the "record" 50-million streams ought to generate mild interest, but I'm thinking a good portion of this movie's budget went to marketing, of which it had a pretty good campaign, even if the interviews hinted at it's abominability and clearly had to shell out bank for good reviews. Makes sense that they'd also guarantee some sort of ancillary project attached to this, and then want to make it a sequel, but if this one's any indication of where that's headed, they will nickel-and-dime the entire thing into a similarly impotent mess.
The Deuce (2017)
The curse of HBO continues. This and GoT, explains the massive unsub....
Yet another show that makes me fall in love with it, only to let me down in the end (a trick HBO pulls constantly.) Well, one could say it's accurate to being a trick, I suppose.
This show has a beautiful mise-en-scène to it throughout the entire series, you do get the real feel of a de facto red-light district, but also the sensory overload aspects of it that only NYC seems to provide.
The acting here is great, Emily Meade in particular, hopefully gets more roles and better parts due to her balls-to-the-wall performance as Lori Madison, but overall, I found practically no weaknesses in the cast at all, solid performances throughout.
What gets me though, is the writing. It definitely fatigues itself as the show progresses, we start to get rapid changes in the story without any impetus and start to see scenes that could've definitely used a re-write. For one, I feel pimping wasn't entirely properly explored inasmuch as it was fetishized, the role of the Gambino family seems to be pretty downplayed and also kinda consigned to the margins without much thought. It starts off really engaging and then basically hating living the 80's all over again.
A la' The Wire, this show at least thoroughly the entirety of the socioeconomic strata of 42nd Street and the reputation it earned as a stabby, sleazy fun time of a world. Just wish the ending wasn't so terse.
Rambo: Last Blood (2019)
Easily the worst Rambo, hands down, period.
You gotta worry when a movie's press kit has more to do with the weaponry used (and how underwhelming was that weaponry for a Rambo flick?,) than the story and characters. This Rambo has apparently abandoned all brain-power and direct conversation skills for a mealy-mouthed, mush-brained version of himself that walks right into situations like a geriatric drunk horny on poppers.
We don't get why Gabriela's dad is a "bad guy" outside of his open-and-honest abandonment of her, we don't get why Rambo didn't execute Gizelle, we don't get why Gabriela had to die an easily preventable death, we don't get why he had to draw the fight to himself instead of bringing the fight to the cartel, and we especially don't get why the cartel amasses a small army to go over the border rather than hire sicarios in Arizona. Nope, we get to accept all this stupidity as a part of the ethos of Rambo, rather than the superhuman tactical killing machine we all know and love.
Instead, we get someone who's older, slower, yet unnaturally strong enough to pull clavicles out of the skin and twist. The previous sequel gave this franchise a serious boost in the veins, only to have it wasted here as much the Rambo ranch got wasted for a crappy cu chi tunnel set up with weaponry that a veteran from Arizona would be embarrassed to have (also, how was he honestly able to make money off that ranch? No one ever visited him, it seems.)
Seriously, everything spending money of this project should be aware; You're wasting your money either producing or watching this drek.
Joy Road (2004)
This Wire outtake is so gritty and cool-looking, yet completely thoughtless
I'll definitely file this flick under "films I REALLY wanted to like, but couldn't." Non-linear narrative structures are great for implying stress and confusion, even ones that have no real outcome, but this movie falls apart in the last act of it's narrative in an attempt to wrap up it's hyper-kinetic pace that it wasn't comfortable running at in the first place. It relies heavily on lowest-common-denominator visual language to satisfy this odd and forced pace to set an easily digestible plot, but forgot whether to be a courtroom drama, street flick or suspense thriller.
I guess you could also say it was a matter of style over substance, bnt I would counter with, not all low-budget flicks have to be all flash and performance to sacrifice what would be a very under-told story, a story of family dynamics around poverty, a story of a scene so rotten, that no one who benefits from it has anything resembling clean hands. Yeah, you might have The Wire, but little else beyond that. Character arcs just kind of happen with no thought of motivations. Scenarios have no pretext for the plot, just a showcase of great talent canned within a scene. It also doesn't help that this movie seems to have languished in post-production hell for almost 9 years.
It definitely wasn't the star power, there's a serious amount of talent (indeed aforementioned show The Wire boosted Wood Harris' profile and Jamie Hector's career,) in this film, but the relegation to tell the story in incomplete vignettes gobbles up Obba Babtunde's character, N'Bush Wright's unfortunate fade away from the spotlight is all too prescient here, and Trick Trick kind of steals the spotlight (too bad this didn't go nowhere for him, but I guess Detroit's his home and he's content.)
Hack editing leaves much to be desired in the overall arc of the story, so we see a contrived movie that was probably nothing more than a demo reel for anyone involved that already had a career on the rise, whilst leaving everyone else. Which is also how this movie's plot kind of worked as well. Much ventured, hardly gained, this film deserved better and got shivved in the guts on the way to the bank.
Filth (2013)
Potential not realized but not entirely necessary
How this film didn't do better is somewhat puzzling, but then again, it's also nice to see a film to held in high regard get slagged for not living up to it's potential. But I still loved this flick despite the structural weaknesses in plot that arise from trying to re-write source material to be more palatable a la' Kick-Ass 2.
Still, as someone who has first-hand experience of the sort of world this movie inhabits (mental-instability in military-institutions such as a police force) I gotta say this film nails it. James MacAvoy is great, but he also has a great cast to support him. Everyone in real-space gives Bruce Robertson the kind of reactions that are a subtle hint that they know something's going on upstairs, but understand how pointless it is to engage the beast within. The pacing works well with Bruce Robertson's descent into desolation and sells the portrayal very well.
Still, the source material (of which I am not immediately familiar) seems to be somewhat lacking here, it would definitely have helped to make the ending what it needed to be (plus who doesn't want to see a hanging cop evacuate a tapeworm?) I found that the whole tone at the end to be uneven in proportion to real-space (how is he in trouble?!! He essentially solved the murder, as opposed to being the murderer like he was in the book!!!) Bruce occupies. I would've accepted him committing suicide even if he got the promotion, such is the beast that is bipolar personality disorder. It's these details that I believe ate up the pure star power here.
I can't hate this film, I actually found myself in love with the heart put into this film, albeit a capricious heart the likes of Bruce Robertson. Sometimes a movie doesn't need much more, and this movie is such an example.
The Ridiculous 6 (2015)
A Serious Swing and a Miss, the Miss That Loses You The Game.
As I write this, this movie supposedly pulled the highest traffic ever for a movie on Netflix. Which is somewhat interesting, considering what a low rating it has on Netflix. The hate this movie has garnered for itself is certainly palpable, it seems all of Adam Sandler's projects have suffered low ratings as a result (admittedly, I haven't seen his other projects, they might just be as terrible as this one.)
I would like to get out of the way it's my understanding that no one who (intelligently) walked off this set, ended up in the final product. I'm pretty taken aback by the Apache portrayal in this flick, I remember thinking, "if those were real back-in-the-day Apaches, everyone near them would be DEAD." But onto the fact that this movie has nothing going for it save an attempt to weave a lot of story- lines that just unravel.
As an attempt at Blazing Saddles, this is just terribly puerile due to the pacing alone. you're inundated with sight gag after offensive dialogue after juvenile quip. It's like they tried to cram every little idea they could as quickly as possible in order to get something to land as funny. Thousands of attempts just weren't.
I got to say, Adam Sandler just doesn't seem to have it anymore, and a movie like this, just goes to show when you come from a less scrutinized era such as the 90's, you aren't really gonna land on your feet as well as you used to. But at least landing in the first place should've showed you how to do it right.
Hot Girls Wanted (2015)
I guess "Mom, Dad, I'm a Porn Star" was already an MTV show title?
I definitely fit into a polar stance immediately with this sort of subject matter, which I then try to reason myself away from in an attempt to absorb the rationale of who creates this sort of work that demonizes (Oh no, surprise, surprise, I too, have been involved in porn!) a previous profession. But for what purpose? Stigma, nothing more, and here you DO get to see it in all it's contrived made-for- TV glory.
Here is where the real weakness in this production is, first off, the ad campaign for this flick essentially gave away the better comments/shots in this movie (as advertising is prone to do currently, sure.) Secondly, The most relatable and telling part is the house atmosphere; I lived in a house like that and got that vibe of creeping exploitation that does prey on the uninformed and ill- educated. Third, no real analysis of how production companies operate, only the fallout and hearsay as filtered through a emotive lens. Plus, let's just go ahead and focus on the sad story and not the more interesting (or at least nuanced) stories of the other performers.
There's lip service paid to proliferation of camera technology in the last decade that essentially creates the fast-paced commodity culture that is what seems to be sucking the art out of porn. So what your left with is sensationalism, of a prevaricated, but very real viewpoint that unfortunately gets boiled down to the kind of desperation that would cause someone to accept money for further exploitation of not just (the sanitized bits) of your porn life, but your personal one as well. I concur that these are very much the kind of girls that get passed on in professional porn, so the amateur market tends to be the way to go for them, and if you have the kind of manager portrayed here, you got the dime-a-dozen losers that have no solid public relations skills (but it's no surprise given our fly-by-night capitalist wingnut culture that allows what is fleeting-moment-sex-art to thrive by managers like this one to essentially flourish.) It's the reality that these performers are faced with, but the movie chooses to begrudgingly accept, rather than engage with serious focus on the next possible evolution of the amateur porn market and how it would affect them.
No mention of how the forced oral sites got funded (I saw these sites advertised for like a month or 3, then on to cute girls on webcams) so I don't see much of the economic forces having to be accountable to what could be described as potentially harmful to future employment material. Where values and market forces honestly meet aren't given much value in this as much as just trying to get you to feel sorry for the girl from the conservative hunter head- bender background having to admit she was a porn star to her daddy (I wonder what they told him the cameras were there for?) You see a boyfriend add to the double guilt trip laid on by her parents, but you don't see the typical suitcase pimp boyfriend that would be extra chummy with Mr. House Manager hanging about going, "that bondage ain't so bad, you know."
This movie does do something unforgivable as far as enlightening anything to do with porn, but sex work in general, is to add to the stigma by denigrating forced oral and BDSM as beneath them. The fact you see no real thoughtful response on that shows how toxic the hard-to-regulate industry can be with regards to wimmin in this society, and in particular this house with the laissez-faire YOLO attitude. I, at least wanted thoughtful dialogue about the cyst that developed on one performer, but no (my theory on that, by-product of hours of uncomfortable porn sex with condoms and not enough lube, but I would of really liked the doc's answer on that.)
In the end, on the amateur market, if you wanted better performers, they would have a better negotiation apparatus to utilize and be snubbed for the less expensive girls you see here. Also, the cinematography does nothing to really get you to know these girls in any meaningful way. In short, it objectifies and rattles it's subject for the right, I'd guess, reality TV feel. It didn't quite work for me at all, and just reeked of laconic porn-bashing. It's bad enough porn isn't physically designed not to be the most pleasant thing in the world, now it has to be a sorority-sister secret-shame time. It recalls The Real Cancun in it's essence, just with more editing techniques scrapped together from the last decade. If you ask me, shifting attitudes about porn is going to take a better effort than this one.
Life as a House (2001)
Sentimental tripe in an Award-winning package......
I was hoping for so much more. There was the blueprint for a unique story that gets dissolved in so much schmaltz and allegory. I get that things are going to be left unfinished, but it seems this story wasn't finished and had to utilize cinematography and last-minute story-writing to finish what I would consider to be a lofty, yet noble, project of a motion picture.
What I got was a laissez-faire attitude towards the commodification of teenage sexuality, family structure and all together communion of the soul. There are about 6 mini-stories at play, loosely connected to the main one, that warrant so much attention, but ultimately dissolve in hack endings and illusion to contentment. I can argue the vapidity of dipping in to these themes as a soft touch of narrative, but I can't argue for taking subject matter that is unique for John Q. Public, and ultimately giving it the brush off. Kevin Kline, Hayden Christiansen and Kristen Scott-Thomas carry the weight of this awkwardly shaped, yet airily light movie.
Powerful performances still didn't distract me from the fact that Sam is painted in the most dismal light possible, and yet father-son bonding is supposed to be an all-healing experience for him! A great actor (and here we do see a young actor in GREAT form) still can't sell a measly product, especially one that doesn't ultimately give him a resolution rooted in reality. You don't take a paint-huffing, trick-turning, auto-erotic asphyxiating teenage boy and turn him into a strapping blue-collar vision of adjustment without some SERIOUS character changes.
Even George's character could've been used to more effect, and he's the main story, the hero if you will. I see less resolution for Sam in George's parts, than I see a complexity in George's character that ultimately unwinds (to great effect, I'll admit) towards death. We see a man of great intimacy, yet commitment-phobic. Someone learning compassion bereft of social expectation. Ultimately all I see is potential dialogue that could benefit both characters, but prefers to lean on one.
Then we're left with all the unanswered questions that lead me to wonder what's in the water this characters are drinking. The kind of isolation within individualism that gives this movie it's initium, again somehow becomes magicallydissipated into community. The magic of a house is wondrous, to be sure, but I can't help but feel the writer's wanted to stay away from the gritty soul-searching that this film hints at, and fails to deliver.
Dexter (2006)
"Bail out!!! Jump ship while you can!"
That's precisely what I wanted to yell after Season 6. Again, knowing when to pull the plug is a art and a science. It was fairly obvious earlier in the show that Dexter's writers were running out of steam, but they still managed to put together probably one of the most cohesive shows on premium TV during it's run. Dexter, buddy, you have a deserved place in the pantheon of pop culture. But I'm with a lot of people when I say that you dropped the ball.
I can go right to the ending and give that hell, but what's the point to that when I already saw the tide back in, say, Season 5? I liked this show to what I would say is it's perceived peak, until the last interesting ancillary character in the series (Brother Sam) is no longer integral to the plot. It's like someone came along and said "Too risky, we need familiarity for ratings." (You really should hear these stupid TV people talk.)
The fact of the matter is, this is Dexter's world, the show could've done a better job of straying from him to establish the sub plots throughout the show, but in the end, the monster this show is, is Dexter, plain and simple. That leaves several sub-plots that fold in the wake of keeping the focus on Dexter. I also find interesting just how efficient the Miami Metro Homocide Unit is in this show, it's like the perfect camaraderie to really get things done kinda just disintegrates with Dexter's ability to control his world.
The whole Debra being in love with him thing really came at a perfect time for crapping out the show into what it became (I'm thinking this was the point when Micheal C. Hall and Jennifer Carpenter got married) a melodrama involving Dexter's and Debra's relationship. However, better writing would've put this conflict earlier in the show, rather than using it as a gimmick for a wind down.
I liked the progession of wimmin Dexter has in his life, the Demeter-like wounded animal of Rita, the reckless abandon of Lila, the redemption in blood of Lumen and the perfect compliment to Dexter's butchery, a Poison Ivy archetype of Hannah McKay. His relationships seem to bring him full circle to himself. And then we get the male figures as well, his brother (they really should've took chances with Brian as his consciousness to remark the dissolute nature of the later seasons.) Miguel Prada as his first kill-buddy and a shining example of his sociopathic nature possibly outgrowing him. Arthur Mitchell as the father figure who understood the monster Dexter was, and then Brother Sam, the man who could transcend the evil his existence was enveloped by.
But ultimately, this is all Dexter, a show wrapped up in a cult of personality that's strong, but you can't throw in extras that don't serve the central theme if you're not gonna explore them thoroughly, especially a show that pride's itself on the meticulous nature of it's protagonist. I liked the risks this show took, but I can't reward a lack of follow through (Batista's character comes to mind.) I wish the fact that there was an obvious number of people who realized who he was and allowed him to continue living as he did would've been explored better, but I'm not one to hold much against what was a daring and heart-felt foray into something as cold and clinical as the world of a serial killer. ***1/2
Mutilation Mile (2009)
Editing, the tool of the oppressor/the medium of an artist.
If it's anything I've noticed nowadays with editing, there's a dearth of people who know when to properly call it quits. If fantasy is an escape for the dregs of consciousness, it's best not to have that fantasy resemble those dregs. Shock value can have a great effect, but sometimes shock can be dull. I saw this movie as a double feature, and I remember this being the notably worse movie in a sea of no-budget flicks.
The thing is, this movie does well on it's own merits, and then you're left with the dragging and over-generalization akin to being left with a detoxing tweaker and having to listen ad nauseam to the horrible things they've done until they invariably pass out or run outside to whatever hell they must embrace. Indeed, lot's of cocaine use and a slipping sense of order into chaos is integral to this movie's atmosphere, but don't let that overshadow the fact that this is based on reality (although I can't help but feel the real story is WAY more engrossing,if not complete fabrication.)
You have the titular mutilation, a lot of flesh and not a lot of a real story, more of a guideline to how the movie isn't just a string of vignettes with an increasing dull shock value winding down to an anti-climactic cut. On it's merits, it's got hot wimmin and trauma appeal, but it's strong acting and superficial charm can't save it from being bargain basement schlock. If this movie were to cut down on it's run time and put together AN ACTUAL PLOT, it might stand up to SAW caliber fodder for a marathon gore-fest (does USA Up All Night ring any bells?) *
Deadbeat at Dawn (1988)
It's funny when you're too close to the screen......
My return to the world of movie critique has put me at 10 years of life experience to where I have to be as objective as possible when reviewing things. I state this because I had the dubious honor of personally meeting Jim Van Bebber during a screening of this movie. As much as I hope for more from his particular flavor of cinema, I still didn't get to tell him that I think this movie is downright the best piece he ever made. This is his heart and soul, readers.
I've seen just about everything JVB has made, but the perfect storm energies and circumstances that made this movie are still something that's evident to cinephiles and the like. I can't say it's sheer brilliance (this is style, not substance {Oh, the 80's}, and I don't think that JVB is big on messages anyhow), but I'm hard pressed to find anything as endearing by him as this movie.
Gutterpunk culture abounds, JVB's love of Dayton's microcosmic abysmal atmosphere of a bankrupt rust-belt town that's falling apart at the mid-line, and you get Deadbeat at Dawn. Very precise scheduling and editing, (it's what ya gotta do if you have no budget for film and man-hours) give this a somewhat frenzied pace, as well a feeling of Goose as kind of a mythological character consecrated to the street life. The soundtrack and dialogue keep the tension to a steady hum until the end sequence.
The story is basic, simple chop-socky territory, but you be hard-pressed to find as stylish as this as far martial-arts flicks go. All the character development is beautiful in that is serves to paint a very dismal world where everyone (even the well-off ones we don't see in the movie that often), has that next moment to live for and nothing else. You have drugs everywhere, you have an indifferent and ignorant populace, you have gangs armed with no real direction and all the trappings of a late 80's Midwestern society sharpened to a point. I always liked the martial arts sequences in this one, JVB studied Benny The Jet and it shows.
The odd thoughtfulness of Deadbeat At Dawn give it the heart it has, you see scenes of how violence can drive one to insanity at rationalizing indifference to it's nature. You see someone who had to fight for literally everything in his life and how it would just keep him spinning his wheels faster than everyone else until he couldn't stop. You see fleeting glory and permanent indolence. It's gritty to the core and that's why I love it. ****1/2
The Punisher (2004)
Yet another great comic book disappointment**1/2
I swear that these comic book to movie adaptations just have to be like book to movie adaptations. Something is invariably lost in translation.
SPOILERS sprinkled liberally throughout................................................
In this case, somebody else already put it in a way that I will put it, this movie didn't rely on it's strengths enough. Personally I felt Thomas Jane did do a good acting job as the Punisher, he really did nail the characters disposition down (save for his reaction to Joan, who was written as more emotionally and mentally weak than Rebecca Romjin-Stamos portrayed her, which would've been more appealing to him sexually. As well as his reaction to losing his family, and lack of psychotic berserker ultra-violence that gave this human character an inhuman slant to him.)
Which pretty much says that the weakness in this flick is the writing, it's been said that budget conflicts and hack or rush editing did-in this movie. Maybe we needed the soundtrack and movie marketing budgets to be cut back on!
And yes, I'll echo another sentiment; the one that states the lack of CGI gave this movie more of a gritty, realistic feel t o it. As well as Frank's use of intellect to bring down his enemies. But, at the same time, the original comic-book Punisher was more of a kill-em'-all-let-God-sort-em'-out type of character (which I'll admit that the 1989 version did better) than he's portrayed here. Believe me, punishment was always quick and decisive, to my knowledge Frank Castle only used sabotage if he couldn't get to his target, which in this movie it seems like he should have no problems killing these people.
Another inconsistency was Howard Saint, he's brash and arrogant until the end when he becomes a sniveling pansy (like he was in the comic!) As well as Frank himself, the only reason Dave got tortured in the comic book if I remember correctly was because Frank himself was not around to protect his neighbors, not because he was post-mud-stomped to the point he was strung out ! Like someone else said, he wouldn't have healed right away. And yet, why wasn't all the implied quick-escape, booby-trapped apartment tricks employed? Some were, but I think more in the guise of my favorite comic-book character!
Yet, again this was said, we see an actually human Punisher (which was why I liked him), he vulnerable (this movie makes him too vulnerable, in my honest opinion), he cares about people to an extent and he's also charitable. Another thing was using something of an original background story that fudged over the original, which would've been more impressive than just a re-fleshing of Welcome Back, Frank when the Punisher was down and out in financing and resources.
Overall, this movie gets cool points for using Hank Thornton (even though Frank would've shot him right away), showing Frank's inner-demons (not well enough though) and keeping the original tone and grit of the comic book (albeit the superficial aspects of The Punisher.)
However, everything else sucked. **1/2
Unseen Evil (2001)
Curiosity killed my cat, and satisfaction DIDN'T bring him back!!!
I don't think there is any kind of constructive criticism I could offer to a movie who's star actor is Tim Thomerson (not that I don't like him, I'm fond of his rather over-looked talents.) Everyone else has pretty much covered what a waste of a movie this is, I'll just have to add that save for Tim Thomerson, the acting is downright horrible!!! Not to mention a weak plot, undeveloped characters and just plain bad production. I think the 10 min. beginning sequence and eye-sore CGI effects sucked up most of this movie's budget and that left the production of this movie to be slapped together with whoever and whatever they could find.
It's sad when rabid horror-movie fans give up on a movie and hope for sex on screen to save it. Potential as MST3K fodder is the best light this movie will ever see...... 1/2
P.S. However did this movie even get the rating is has?!!! 18% voted a 10 as of this date?!! May all who positively view this movie disintegrate under the laws of artistic ability!!!!!!!
Fight Club (1999)
For me, it was an experience!
Yes, when this movie was released, I remembered going to see it and afterwards leaving the theater, where a good friend and I proceeded to beat the snot out of each other. Onlookers decided that we were both crazy, and we were for the sake of having the sort of sick and twisted fun that people of our generation find too much or no meaning in.
I've read into what many people have said for this film, either they didn't get it, they did get some of the many points that this film presents but doesn't necessarily address, or they loved it for it whole parts or were simply disgusted by it.
Going back to what someone said about recent politics and the impact on American society that has come of it, I was too, reminded of that by this movie. We all may hate the compliant nature that has been imposed by society upon us (or those who would rather not address this conundrum), but when your numb to certain aspects of yourself or the peoples around you, basal nature starts to dictate your actions, thoughts, etc.
But one point I think is sorely missed is the fact that this nature, without one's own sense of identity or critical thought, can easily persuaded and perverted. Even more so, the manipulation of this human nature (which is viewed as one part of what makes an individual unique) can bring about insecurities in the individual being manipulated.
It's almost as if this movie had some intention of being an extensive character study. I can say this about this terrific movie, it has something that anyone can take from it, otherwise it's an experience of relatively engrossing subject matter.
You must watch it, I got *****, I'm sure you'll get something out of it.
Barely Legal 19 (2001)
Jubilee, uhhhhhhhhhh!
Yes, she is precisely why I checked out this title. Your talking about a bonafide hottie!!! Red-hair, blue-eyes, a sweet voice and a tight little body. Yes, I'm a sucker for these qualities. It's funny that she isn't in more than 4 skin-flicks (to the imdb's knowledge anyway, I'm not putting too much effort in looking) Also, as far as the Hustler's Barely Legal series goes, Hustler magazine promises and delivers. Of course I've only seen two, so I can't say with any certainty how the rest are, but picking out porn flicks is an easy process, either you like the star of the show, you like the cover(not always accurate) or you liked the preview. Now that I've seen Jubilee, I'm getting the other 3 movies! Typically this series follows the quickie fan-mail stories that are posted in the mag (the exception being the long tales, which are titled relatively the same.)
If I didn't think there was something to SPOILERS, I wouldn't warn you. The IMDB says so.
Jubilee starts off this sizzler with a story about a delivery girl going to a model shoot, where she meets a beer-gutted electrician. Enjoyable and somewhat acrobatic boinging ensues. The next story is with a the-girl-next-door looking type of chick doinking a host student in her trailer. Back door going-ons and delicious moaning. After that is some scissor action w/ two hot little blondies, the story being of a biker chick in LA and a girl from Ohio. Then, there is Mr.Marcus (he reminds me of a dude I know) as a famous rapper with an obsessed fan wanting to get ink out of his pen. Lastly, we have an English housesitter washing a truck and checking the grocery delivery stud purely for posterical reasons, you know. She's the guttermouth type and pretty good at it (she's got my vote!) Overall ****1/2, definitely worth the late fees!!!!
200 Cigarettes (1999)
I don't know how many people saw this movie with something different in mind.
But I can honestly say this was an enjoyable flick. Not top-notch or even very memorable, but entertaining. I can blame MTV films for trying too hard to please everybody (by using characters that somebody, somewhere, will like) in a film that not everyone can like. I personally disliked Gaby Hoffman's character, from her horrible hair-do to her whiny, condescending personality. But she was believable to a point, whereas her companion Christina Ricci's character isn't very well explained in the movie (Yes, I saw the interview that explained this, but it wasn't explained in the movie and this part actually made her look like a has-been actress.)
Oh no, I'm cooking this to a SPOIL!
Martha Plimpton's character has got to be the crazy glue of this flick. When she watching the TV and shouting "I hate you MOTHER#&@*ERS!!!!" I knew I was going to walk away feeling the same way. A movie that's not too deep, not too great, full of interesting (if not already overdone by indie flicks and the like) social commentary, Angela Featherstone in a role that is more than 10 minutes long (and with red hair, YUMMY!!), and some empty-calorie eye candy settings and situations. And of course, no movie of the Gen X influence could not have dog$#!% somewhere in it, they had to have the dog$#!%. If only I could successfully argue how this movie was made simply tailored to my particular mood and taste at the time I was watching it, I could bash it in harshly, but I already threw ****, out of boredom. Whatever it be, I got what I wanted out of it!
As Dave Chappelle says, "There's my booty face, you can tell that's my booty face."
28 Days Later... (2002)
Too bad about the story, it's a very pretty film, you know.
As much as I want to trash this film's use of hack story writing, I really can't do it. When this movie was finished (after both endings) I really didn't have much of an opinion about it. But I would recommend this sort of movie to individuals to see what they have to say about it. It's that kind of a movie. Danny Boyle's use of film as a medium is superb, in can evoke a response very well and all I have to say is that anyone who can open themselves to a film in that manner will be pleased for the first 2/3 of the movie.
Now to the bad part... I might SPOIL something...
After we are introduced to the soldier-part, it seems all sense is lost. Good at the level of the viewer, very BAD for the sake of plot and the actual story. I couldn't help but feel like somebody said "OK, the artsy-fartsy reel is done, let's get to the REAL action!!!" Which is I guess, there is a hero, there is a villain, and there is a damsel is distress. Whatever, I could've done with something else (since this movie is so well established in the beginning and is consequentially destroyed.) This may look well on paper as stated, but you have to follow through with the substance over style, man!!! But if you can take something unoriginal, throw a different and delicious sort of flavor with a bad after-taste, than this is for you!
***1/2 get it while it lasts!
Wicked Weapon (1998)
Elaborate for a skin flick
Bemusing isn't it? That I can actually write a critique on porn. As far this one goes, It's pretty good. SPOILERS, although, can you honestly spoil a porn flick since it's all visual? We see Jeanna Fine here in good form in the first scene w/ Mike Horner and a large "nightstick" wielding policeman. Then we have Jenna, and an orgy with the bodacious Laure Sinclair (who is the villain in this movie) and Peter"O'Toole" North. Afterwards we see Midori get down to it and then Jill Kelly with a DP. Despite the music drowning out the sound and a few visual quibbles (Jenna looks crazed when she pegs Jill Kelly) a solid and pleasing treat.
Jack and the Beanstalk (1974)
Why can't all animated children's movies be like this?
It's probably been about 5 years since I've seen any part of this movie, but as a kid I watched it so much it must be branded into my memory. Simple yet atmospheric animation (the Japanese are really good at making something dark and forboding, aren't they?) this movie defined my tastes for cinema as a child. After watching this at about 4 years old I had basically went for darker and more deeply symbolic movies (Yes, it's true, TV does warp kids minds, but give them something like this and they'll be better for it!) I can't say I haven't changed much and I wish I hadn't lost the copy I had of this movie, but if you can find it, more power to you! *****