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Outcasts (2010)
I was expecting worse
It was bad but the BBC have done worse. I posted a cut down version of the script in case you missed this episode.
Ship's Captain: Are there any human beings down there? Planet: Erm... what other English speakers were you expecting?
Middle Class Kid: Oh poetry, oh poetry, why must the other boys keep kicking me?
Angry Scottish Bird: You were stealing medical supplies Irish Druggie: Well if you didn't want a drug dealer on Carpathia why did you bring me along?
Cougar woman: With this device I can see your memories Irish Druggie: How does it work? Cougar woman: Well, with you it shows your memories in first person, but with me it shows them in the third person Irish Druggie: O...kay....
Angry Scottish Bird: This woman has been hit on the head. Hard. Take her to Holby City immediately.
Gun Totting Mad Man: Got to get away! Big Guy: It's not time Gun Totting Mad Man: Got to get away! Big Guy: It's not time Gun Totting Mad Man: Got to get away! Big Guy: Why? Gun Totting Mad Man: Dunno
Cougar woman: Fancy a shag? Irish Druggie: I haven't had my beer yet
Angry Scottish Bird: I'm shouting in your face! Big Guy: Why? Angry Scottish Bird: To show how tough I am Big Guy: That's not fair when all have is my hugely superior physique and rifle to protect me
Ship's Captain: We've traveled through space for 5 years and we're coming down President: Fix your shields first or you'll explode Ship's Captain: No time for that, we want to get down before the tea gets cold President: Well... don't say I didn't warn you!
Gun Totting Mad Man: I'm away and I'm taking my softie son with me Angry Scottish Bird: A MAN? Taking care of a CHILD? Wait till the Family Court hears about this!
Gun Totting Mad Man: You've been a naughty boy President: I have been a naughty boy but trust me, I'm a politician and the state knows best
President: Go after that crazy gun totting guy! Scruffy lower class person: Who, should I take? The big guy with the muscles and the gun? President: No, take the loud Scottish girl. She'll be handy.
Boring person 1: Hey, did you see that thing that just happened? Boring person 2: Yes I did Boring person 1: Well, let me just tell you about it anyway. Nothing makes events you've already witnessed more interesting than hearing about them in long segments of exposition. Wouldn't you agree? Boring person 2: Sorry, could you repeat that?
President: We decided to call this planet Carpathia. I can't remember the whole story but I think if they'd had more life boats... Ship's Captain: We don't have enough life boats! President: If only the planet namers had spoken to the ship designers...
Gun Totting Mad Man: Do you really think human beings can make a better life for our children? Angry Scottish Bird: Human beings? Gun Totting Mad Man: Yeah, you know... US Angry Scottish Bird: So why didn't you just say "WE"? Why can't we make a better life for our children?
*silence*
Gun Totting Mad Man: I know I'm the main character here but how about you just kill me now?
*Bang* *Explosion* *Poetry*
The End