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caldarolad
Reviews
The Man from Toronto (2022)
Boring, not funny
Kevin Hart being his usual character. Woody Harrelson disappointed me though. I think I slightly chuckled in one scene. Boring, no twists, not funny after you've seen the first 20 minutes you've basically seen the entire movie.
Blade Runner (1982)
What did I just watch?
I'm not sure how this movie got good reviews, or how anybody likes this. This was one of the worst movies I've seen in a long time.
This is supposed to take place far in the future, where people can make clone robots, and live on other planets, and have flying cars, in....2019.... I think they missed the mark a bit there. Everything looks remarkably like the 1980s, except for the flying cars. There are no special effects, no fancy computers, not even cell phones. Everyone has the 80s hair styles. Without the flying cars, I would have assumed this took place in the 70s or 80s. But...you can't fault someone for not knowing the future.
If they didn't explain the story line with text in the first 30 seconds of the movie, there would be no coherent plot to this movie. An ex-cop gets forced into hunting down 5 robots that escaped from their planet and killed a bunch of people on their way to earth. These robots have a 4-year lifespan. Here's where the movie gets ridiculous. What they didn't tell you is that all of these clones were on about 3 years and 364 days, and they were just about to die anyway, making the entire premise pointless. Nothing about this movie makes sense and the acting/dialogue is beyond horrible.
If this cop is their last hope, the world is screwed. This is the most useless cop ever. He falls in love with his first target after asking her questions for 15 minutes. His second target is stripper with a snake? Seriously, she escaped her planet and killed 20 people to become a stripper? When he confronts her, she almost kills him, and then inexplicably decides to put on a see-through puffy rain poncho and run away. His third target is about to kill him and he gets saved by the robot he fell in love with. His fourth target is about to kill him, but instead decides to pick his nose, and then do gymnastics. Then he shoots her while she's doing flips. His fifth target is again about to kill him, but he instead decides to go hand him his gun back, go kiss a dead robot, and pet a dove. Instead of killing him while he was doing this, the main character drops his gun and decides to climb to the roof? Then the robot saves the main character from dying and his time runs out and he dies on his own. And that's pretty much the end of the movie. I want those 2 hours of my life back.
American Assassin (2017)
Not bad, but disappointing
The movie wasn't bad, but if you're looking for a movie version of the book, you're going to be disappointed. This wasn't even remotely close to the book. In fact, the only thing that did follow the book was that there was a Mitch, Thomas, Stan, and Irene.
The movie went by really quickly, and the whole thing felt rushed. I think they might have done a better job if it was a 3 hour movie.
The Neon Demon (2016)
2 hours of Torture
I'm not sure how this has an average rating of 6 stars. There's basically no dialogue, no rhyme or reason to any of the characters or plot, terrible acting, no emotions, no action, no anything.
The main character is the least attractive character in the movie, which makes the story even less believable.
There are several scenes in the movie which were there strictly for awe value, and did not contribute anything to the actual plot.
The whole thing is just boring and awkward, and I want these 2 hours of my life back.