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Reviews
Death Race (2008)
Not Too Bad
Before I return to my life, which has been co-opted for the last month by posting Halloween movie reviews, I wanted to squeeze in this action picture. I suppose it could be classified as Science Fiction or even Horror, but that might prove a stretch.
I loved the original "Death Race 2000." It was hilarious and extremely well done. Not that we would expect anything less from Roger Corman.
"Death Race" dumps the humor and substitutes action sequences. And while I was very suspicious of this approach, as it appears many others were, the truth is that it works effectively in this context. There are some truly exciting races. Explosions galore. Splatter and mayhem. All the things that make life worth living.
Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed (1969)
Interesting, but Not Particularly Horrifying
This was the last in a series of Hammer Frankenstein films I viewed in a single evening, so I was probably a little fatigued by the time "Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed" rolled.
Let me start with the positives. This is a handsome looking film. It's colorful and well photographed. It's also one of the best directed in the series. There are a number of wonderful suspense sequences, like the buried body in the garden. There's also some wonderful acting on display from everyone's favorite evil doctor.
On the negative side, and Hammer fans may call me a killjoy, there's no monster. None. The closest we get is a brain transplant, again gone wrong. You would think after all these attempts that Peter Cushing could get it right, but it's not the case.
There's also a rape sequence that seems completely out of character for the doctor. I read a few other reviews to see what this was all about. Tacked on or not, it's distasteful and illogical. The film gets demoted a star on the basis of it.
Frankenstein Created Woman (1967)
A Valid Experiment
This is a difficult film to get a handle on. It was the third Hammer Frankenstein film I watched in a single evening, which might be part of the problem.
It was definitely a departure for the series. "Frankenstein Created Woman" involves everyone's favorite doctor doing some soul transference. He picks a young lady with revenge on her mind, which is a wonderful concept, but somehow falls flat.
In all honesty, I'm not sure why I didn't like this picture more than I did. It's got great sets. It looks the best of any of the Hammer Frankensteins that I saw, perhaps even too bright and cheery in spots. It's got super acting, especially from the doctor himself.
Somehow, all these positives don't add up to a great experience. I don't know if it's the lack of a proper monster or the leisurely pace of the film. It does take its time getting to where it's going and then slowly sputters out, with sequence after sequence that resemble each other.
"Frankenstein Created Woman" was a valid experiment. It had a lot going for it, even if it didn't always work, so I can recommend it for fans of sixties monster cinema. Just don't expect to be scared.
Sea of Dust (2008)
Won't Be Everyone's Cup of Tea
After a weekend of Hammer Frankenstein films, I decided to take a chance on this flick, whose description claimed it was a tribute to Hammer Studios. "Sea of Dust" got the look and feel right, but fans of those old movies should know that it's nothing like its predecessors.
The biggest problem with the film is this preconception that it's supposed to be structured like a Hammer film. It starts out like that, with a medical student called to a small town to help investigate strange goings on.
The next thing you know, it becomes a totally different kind of film. It's funny in spots. It's a complete bloodbath in others. It seems to be winking at its audience, but is so intent on being unusual that it sometimes loses focus.
This is not a film for the easily offended or people who don't like weird cinema. It takes some pointed jabs at politics and organized religion, which I found pretty entertaining on the eve of another worthless election, but might rub others the wrong way.
House on Haunted Hill (1959)
Creepy Fun
This is the second William Castle picture I saw this weekend and it was a vast improvement over the horrible "Straight-Jacket." I would go as far as to say that "The House on Haunted Hill" is one of the best haunted house movies I've ever seen. It's got it all. There's a unique house that locks its victims in at midnight. There's its reputation for murdering anyone who is stupid enough to remain there overnight. There's a blind female caretaker who wanders around in the dark for no reason. And there's Vicent Price, who offers the perfect mix of black comedy and genuine spookiness.
The only problem I have with the picture is its ending, which suggests that it was all Price's doing and that there are no real ghosts on Haunted Hill. Too bad, because the place is really a thriller. When I think of haunted houses, this is the one my mind will conjure up.
The Revenge of Frankenstein (1958)
Few Scares, but Great Atmosphere
I'm sure this won't please Hammer purists, but I enjoyed this film more than their highly acclaimed horror debut, "The Curse of Frankenstein." This is still a slow moving picture, which seems to be the nature of Hammer's output. There are numerous dialog scenes, with a "horrific" elements occasionally trotted out to please monster lovers.
"The Revenge of Frankenstein" doesn't feature much monster at all. It isn't until the last few minutes that we're treated to anything resembling one and he's only a misunderstood character who was pummeled into brain damage by a sadistic janitor.
If you're searching for a film that will scare a few years out of you, this won't be it. It's more kiddie oriented than fear inducing. But for fans of Gothic atmosphere and good acting, this Hammer film may prove your best bet.
Strait-Jacket (1964)
You've Got to Be Kidding Me
Have suspense films really changed so much in just a few short years? It's hard to imagine that so many people went to see this, let alone have left glowing reviews of it.
"Straight-Jacket" might have been better titled "Hysteria." The entire production is an exercise in excess, one so blatant that it's difficult not to laugh out loud.
Every actor in the production, including star Joan Crawford, conducts themselves as if they are in a stage production. They flail their arms. They mug for the camera at every opportunity. They screech and cry and rant maniacally (if they are female). It's shameless overacting to a degree seldom seen.
This would be fine, if there was a subtle script to balance it. What "Straight-Jacket" offers instead is a bludgeon. In case you didn't realize that the actors were supposed to be dramatic, you get lines of dialog that border on parody. The ending, which features a rant so over the edge that it's hilarious, typifies the film. "I love her! I hate her! I love her! I hate her!" The icing on this over-baked cake is the musical score, which has to be heard to be believed. In case you missed the film's lack of subtlety, the score pummels you with further shrill punctuations every time there's supposed to be a scare.
I'm astounded that this picture has picked up the kind of IMDb rating that it has. Did anyone actually watch this picture?
The Curse of Frankenstein (1957)
The First, but Not the Best
Much to my girlfriend's chagrin, my quest for an entire month of horror reviews led me to an evening of Hammer Frankenstein pictures (thank you, TCM).
Looking back, it's difficult to imagine why "The Curse of Frankenstein" was considered so controversial at the time of its release. In this age of spurting blood and endless torture sequences, the idea of a man-made monster knocking off a few villagers seems quaint.
The gore that is on display, the major reason this caused such a sensation in the fifties, is conservative (to say the least). We get severed rubber arms, etc. There is a gunshot to the face that still packs a punch, but very little that anyone over the age of 7 would consider a shock.
I don't mean to sound dismissive of this film. It's well done. Good production value for what was considered a low budget film in its day, although you can occasionally see heavy wooden doors/walls wobble.
The thing that drags the film down is the endless dialog. There's very little action compared to a contemporary film and what does arrive comes too little, too late.
If "The Curse of Frankenstein" could be summed up in a few words, it would be: the first of its kind, but definitely not the best in the series. Having TCM play them in sequence confirmed this.
Paranormal Activity (2007)
Surprisingly Good Shocker
In the interests of providing a broad range of Halloween reviews, I thought I would include a few low budget horror films.
"Paranormal Activity" supposedly cost about $11,000, if the film's promotional hype can be believed. I'm sure there was a considerable amount more lavished on it after Steven Spielberg came aboard, but even then the film has a documentary look, which perfectly suites the subject matter.
Like "Blair Witch," we are treated to a supposedly self-shot haunting. This time out, it's a suburban couple who are plagued.
Unlike "Blair Witch," this film features some genuine frights. There's a lot of creepiness and some real surprises, which are always welcome. In the current horror market, which seems to wallow in torture rather than scares, this is a nice find. It's a little over the top at times, but never dull.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)
Not Bad, Just Unnnecessary
Not as bad as you might expect, considering that it's a remake of a classic, but I was left wondering why they bothered? This is a classic example of the idea of diminishing returns: "It did so well the first time around, it will do even better when we remake it." We've seen a bunch of these ill-informed remakes in the last few years. Everything from "Psycho" to "Halloween." Not a single one has managed to outstrip its inspiration. They might have included more blood and violence, which is what seems to pass for creativity these days, but there's not a single moment that makes you forget the originals.
This is not a bad film, but a completely unnecessary one. Obviously, Hollywood values trading on the brand name more than mining new territory, which is sad.
5 tombe per un medium (1965)
A Waste of Time
Saw this one in a version called "Cemetery of the Living Dead" and was left shaking my head at the reviews I saw on IMDb, especially the ones that call this one of the great Gothic horror films.
Granted, this film has a lot going for it. First, there's Barbara Steele, who just had to be in a film to guarantee it a creepy quality.
Second, there are some great castle sets. The difficulty with this is that you often can't see the expanse of them because the film was shot so tightly, but maybe that's the print I was watching.
Lastly, there's the story, which had some definite possibilities. There are plague carriers rising from the grave to spread the infestation. There are suicides to avoid these ghostly creatures. There's the deceased lead character, who has harnessed the power of life and death.
The problem is that "Cemetery of the Living Dead" is so cheaply filmed that little of this matters. Instead of suspense, there are endless shots of people walking around rooms and down hallways, all to zero purpose.
The plague makeups are also lousy. The dubbing is even worse. Beyond all that, the ghosts of the plague carriers are never shown, unless you count their rubbery "monster" arms. Nowadays, you could buy a better prop at a Halloween shop...for $5.00.
Lots of promise to this one, but nothing is delivered. If you like watching people wander around, then this is the movie for you.
Uzumaki (2000)
Amazing Mind Trip
I don't know how this one slipped under my radar. It's amazing to me that more people haven't discovered this unusual gem.
"Spiral" concerns a Japanese town whose inhabitants have become obsessed with spiral shapes, both natural and unnatural. It's never explained exactly why, which is part of the movie's charm.
If this was an American film, there would have to be an extensive backstory on this obsession, likely some ridiculous curse or alien invasion. It's better left to the imagination why villagers have become fixated on the shape, as it provides some suspense regarding who will be next and just how far they will take it.
As enthusiastic as I am about the film, it still suffers from Japanese cinema's lack of character development. We don't really care who these people are. They are stock characters wandering through an amazing situation.
"Spiral" gets extra points for being different. There's no precedence for this film in cinema, either American or Japanese. I applaud that. It's nice to have something different for a change.
Hatchet (2006)
Not the Next Great Horror Film, but Entertaining
In my quest to post a review a day until Halloween, something I've already fallen off pace with, I made a mistake sequencing "Hatchet." During the last few days, I had watched "Halloween" and "Friday the 13th" in sequence. "Hatchet" seemed like a logical choice to keep the string of serial killing, barely human monsters going.
I guess there's a point of diminishing returns that has nothing to do with the merits of the film. Reviews had led me to believe that this killer was going to be the next Jason. He might be, but after several days of serial killer mayhem, "Hatchet" came off as a pastiche of ideas taken from earlier/better films.
It does have several important things going for it. There's some good camera work. There's good acting, including some surprising cameos. Best, there's a lot of humor directed at the conventions of the slasher picture.
"Hatchet" doesn't take itself seriously and it doesn't ask you to. If it's a collection of in-jokes and clichés, it's a pretty entertaining one. I've read that there's a sequel planned, so I'm hoping that it will explore some different terrain than "kids stuck in the woods/swamp. They get tracked down and killed."
Friday the 13th (1980)
Innovative At the Time?
I've repeatedly read how innovative and important this film was to the history of horror, including here, but I was disappointed by this initial installment in the long running "Friday the 13th" series.
It may be that so much of what we are provided has become a cliché in the ensuing years. For example, an isolated group in the woods. Check. Horribly self-centered teenagers. Check. A single, seemingly indestructible killer. Check. The notion that teenage sex must be punished. Check.
"Friday the 13th" has its moments. It's at times creepy and effective, but just as often, I found myself yawning because I understood that it was more about the body count than about any kind of reasonable plot.
It's a lot like an Italian body count movie, but without the innovative death sequences. It's probably worth viewing as a piece of horror history, if only for the death of Kevin Bacon, which was a nice touch.
Halloween (1978)
Scariest Serial Killer of Them All
"Halloween" scared the crap out of me the first time I saw it and having just viewed it again, for the first time in many years, I can honestly tell you that it retains its power.
Unlike the other films in this never-ending franchise, the original takes the time to flesh out its victims. It's not a film about a mindless killing machine, but about an escaped psychopath and the characters he's stalking.
That's one of the great things about "Halloween." It doesn't feel the need to make the killer a supernatural figure.
It helps to have such greats as Jamie Lee Curtis and Donald Pleasance as leads. Donald Pleasance can utter the most ridiculous dialog and make it sound plausible. He's what really convinced me that there was evil operating in the film.
It's a pity that such a wonderful movie had to be stretched into such an endless series, because none of them, including Rob Zombie's gorier remakes, have anywhere near the power of this entry.
The Mummy (1959)
Slow Moving Monster and Movie
Another night, another mummy movie. This entry was far better than "The Curse of the Mummy's Tomb," which I saw the same night.
The difficulty with assessing any mummy movie, at least the older ones, is that the creature is not a major threat. He's pretty slow moving. He's the kind of monster you could just run away from.
Granted, this mummy is a little faster. He can bend steel bars and take an iron rod through the chest, which are nice touches. But he's still a mummy, who doesn't bother to wander beyond the confines of the neighborhood swamp.
"The Mummy" does have some great sets, save "ancient Egypt" which looks like it was constructed out of cardboard. The acting is generally excellent. Peter Cushing is a joy to watch. The colors are bold, especially during the swamp climax.
I do have to warn viewers that there's not a lot of mummy for your buck. There's a lot of talk. A whole lot. By the time the mummy comes stumbling into the picture, you may already be asleep.
The Curse of the Mummy's Tomb (1964)
And You Thought the Mummy Was Slow Moving?
I hate to admit it, but I watched an entire evening of mummy movies courtesy of our Turner Classic Movies over the weekend. I hate to admit it because this monster has to be one of the most boring in the pantheon of creatures.
Worse, "The Curse of the Mummy's Tomb" spends more time on character development than it does on visits from the title monster. The mummy only makes a couple of appearances and these are fleeting and in the second half of the picture.
This entry also suffers from some major pacing issues. The story moves so slowly that I was able to leave the room on several occasions, fix myself a snack, take a stroll around the block, and by my return I hadn't missed a single thing.
In short, "The Curse of the Mummy's Tomb" needed a lot more mummy and a lot less interaction between the archaeologists who were trailing him. I do give it points for the plot about the mummy having an evil brother.
Father Goose (1964)
This Won an Oscar?
I'm confused by the number of good reviews for this film and even more by the Oscar this screenplay received. I guess people have childhood memories that are better than the picture.
On the positive side, it was nice to see Cary Grant in a part outside of his usual flawless hero.
On the negative side, "Father Goose" contains so much sexist propaganda that it had my girlfriend wincing in pain. That's a sad statement, because I never would have watched this film without her insistence.
Grant plays an army officer consigned to a remote island to keep an eye on Japanese troop movements. He's shortly placed in charge of a group of school girls and their teacher, Leslie Caron.
In pretty short order, we are treated to "hilarity" surrounding Grant's alcoholism. He discourages one of the young lady's crushes by coming on to her. Worst of all, we learn that the quickest way to a woman's heart is for her to be slapped in the face by a man. Over and over until she decides to marry the brute.
For some reason, lots of reviewers seem to find this behavior enchanting, which makes some of the skewed ratings I've seen on IMDb all the more suspect.
Octaman (1971)
Monster Costume Attack
Move over Mega-sharks and Octopussies, there's a new deep sea threat that will shame you all.
The year was 1971 and future Oscar winning makeup man Rick Baker had apparently made his first costume. With the costume and $20 in the budget, he managed to fashion "Octaman." Somehow they managed to talk Kerwin Mathews into appearing in this golden turkey, surrounding him with one of the worst casts I've ever seen.
Not that this movie is worthless. There were numerous times when I thought I detected a hint of humor, even though this might have been unintentional. It's still funny stuff.
The story takes place in a jungle somewhere. Apparently, it's a jungle that is accessible by RV and spotted with pine trees. It's also a jungle with plenty of lakes.
Because of atomic radiation, the water is full of little plastic octopuses that scream when you capture them. There's a big brother octopus too who likes to come to their rescue and smack scientists around with his two operational tentacles.
Rick Baker's costume is the big draw but it's shown so often that it becomes a joke. We're often treated to seeing the "feet" of the creature, because it walks upright for some reason. The boots are obvious and you can see where the suckers were glued on the legs of the costume.
All this adds to the film's crazy charm. If you like bad monster movies, then this will be one for you.
The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
Cannibal Apocalypse
It's hard to fault a film that is this widely loved. Thankfully I don't need to.
What can I say? Great acting. Awesome score. Some of the most tense sequences I've seen in all of horrordom.
I know they've made sequels and prequels to "Silence of the Lambs" but there's no need to go any further than this one.
Anthony Hopkins is a marvel. He underplays the killer and it's hard to imagine anyone creepier. Can you imagine this guy living next to you? This is another example of why I love the Halloween season so much.
And Jodi Foster makes a major impression as the well-intended FBI agent who becomes Hannibal's unwitting assistant. Is it respect or love or fatal attraction? That's left to the viewer to decide.
The Bride of Frankenstein (1935)
Great Black and White Monster Movie
I usually prefer my monster movies in glorious color, so I can enjoy the splatter, but "The Bride of Frankenstein" really defied my expectations.
First of all, Frankenstein is really a monster to be reckoned with. He might be a little sluggish, but he's got some major steroid action going on.
Second, the film is laced with some effective humor. I wouldn't call this a true horror movie because it's not really scary. There are large chunks of it that are played for comedy.
The only reason I demoted it a star was because of the opening sequence, which comes across as dated. If you can stick with it, you will not only be rewarded. You'll thank yourself for the treat.
30 Days of Night (2007)
Finally Scary Vampires Again
Boy do I love Halloween.
If there is a more exciting horror film out there, I don't know what it is.
This is non-stop action, start to finish, with some of the most vicious vampires I've ever seen.
After years of films that have made vampires into cuddly tweenie friendly boyfriends,"30 Days of Night" takes them back where they belong.
If you're tired of PG friendly monster movies, this will rock your world and restore your faith.