orionschwert Reviews

The World's End (2013)

All good ingredients are there.....again !

[7/10 · 14 March 2021]

Not as glorious as Shawn of the dead but all the ingredients are here again: Pubs, Friends, the end of the world and Cornettos. Additional some good laughs, Aliens and the Sisters of mercy. For me it sums up to something worthwhile watching and even makes me wonder if I, at 47 of age and father of 3, should get rid of my hugh Sisters of Mercy decoration on my old Volkswagen. Naa...I think I'll leave it there. Reminds where I'm coming from and what's still part of me.

Terminator Salvation (2009)

What is the problem ?

[8/10 · 22 April 2020]

1st Terminator will always be my favorite. It was the 80', I grew up....was maybe 12 years old when my mother brought this film home to watch together on VHS. I loved my Mom for being so cool to let me watch it and it completely hammered me away. Today, so many years later, I can hear my self sometimes humming the theme when ironing or doing dishes or something else which leaves to much space in my brain available. So it became part of my "brain-screen-savers", if you understand my meaning. The Terminator franchise is something important to me as I had bound so strong to the 1st. Judgement Day then was again something which overwhelmed me. Now the 90', me still in school but this time it was Cinema with friends. Holy moly, they did it again. That was well spent time and money at that time. A real action block bluster and a worthy nr 2. The 3rd was the first big disappointment. Typical 3rd.....nothing big anymore, mediocre in its acting and overall making. Only scenes still stuck a bit in my mind was the Truck-chase in the streets and Mrs Terminator who could inflate her boobies if needed. That was, I have to admit, an somewhat intreaging idea. But Terminator was dead for me. They killed it.

But they reanimated it as well! With Terminator Salvation !

Sweet cast and absolutely fine crafted. It is an entertaining action movie with nasty robots, dooms-day feeling and heroes fighting in resistance. Good story, good action, good acting, and many little flash backs like Guns'n'Roses music and " I'll be back". Can you really expect more from something which was dead ? How can people here rate this film so badly? And if you know that anything which came and will come afterwards will be rubbish again, then this one earned its 8 stars from me.

Black Panther (2018)

A Disney Avatar in Africa

[2/10 · 10 April 2020]

And the Oscar for the biggest Marvel failure goes to.....Black Panther. I watched it to the end because it was so bad. How could that get 3 Oscars? How can rotten tomatoes write so positively about this lousy waste of time ? How can that be part of Marvel ? So boring and foreseeable story mixed with non existing acting and wrapped into kitsch music and purple sky's. One day I will be held responsible for my time on earth and what I did with it. Somebody angry will point a finger at me and say : you watched this to the end ?

No really guys, something went all wrong here.

Aquarela (I) (2018)

Nothing for real fans of water

[3/10 · 8 April 2020]

I had high hopes and lots of smiles on my face like from a kid seeing its Christmas presents under the tree. I was so excited. A film was made about the beauty and power of water. A film about the most underrated and most alien substance on this planet. And then this. A boring and badly crafted film with the looks of a web-cam build up on different locations. At least some indications of the areas would have been nice. It had some interesting moments, like the opening scenes on the Baikal (?), some wave patterns and some of the impressively moving ice bergs. But you could feel how they struggled to fill 90 minutes. It was so boring sometimes, you could have shrink it down to 20 minutes. I was hoping for a BARAKA about water and became a film of somebody who needed money ? Or he lost a bet ? I have no idea. And what shocked me (proof to you that I watched it entirely) is the amount of people and film associations involved in this. I thought I will find the 3 or 4 people guilty of this in the credits but there where hundreds and hundreds of people named. How is this possible for such an waste of time ? To be diplomatic I could say "this was a lost opportunity to create something great" but it was worse than that.

Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)

Understandable enthusiasm of action fans

[6/10 · 27 August 2015]

Yep, this is one action movie ! Somewhat from the 1st to the last minute it goes bang, bong and krapeng ! And it's well done action even if a little repetitive after a while. So, if 100% action and adrenalin, in a dark&dusty design is your kind of flick, then it is a 10 out of 10. Therefore it is understandable that it stays in the moment at 8,3 because many just seek for nothing else. If you expect a bit more, like deeper going characters, dialogs, acting, story etc, you will be disappointed because there is absolutely none of that. Sure, action movies are not made for that in the first line but I saw good stuff combining story and action. The "non" story here bases itself, as so often, on the fact that people need to go/drive from point A to point B and making here a lot of noisy and crazy stuff when doing it. But hey, this picture goes even a step further....they go as well the same way back !! Wow. That is genius. I did not expected any real relation to the 1st and one and only Mad Max (even if the unrecognisable Keays-Byrne was one) but I did hope to get more from Tom Hardy and Charlize Theron. Damn, they can act, certainly Tom Hardy can..... But that's business and Tom Hardy knows it but I do hope for him that he is not ruining his career. Younger audience will be impressed by the action, score, design etc, but anybody who likes cinema for people acting around a story...they will go home empty in there heads. And one last thing before I close, you need to see this on very big screen or even the action fans will be bored.

Shaun the Sheep Movie (2015)

Mehähähee

[8/10 · 15 June 2015]

I was stunned how perfectly that was made, seen from the technical point of view. The story itself is very cute and, sure, made for kids. But as well an adult can feel entertained and have a laugh. So it's perfect for an afternoon @ home with your kids together. It's safe to watch for children of all ages I would say but never boring. It's getting always funny when these kids movies relate to adult stuff but without that the kids could know it. Like the appearance here of Hannibal Lector in form of a cat, doing his shivering thing with his lips while behind bars. Silence of the lambs, you know ;) And talking about it, nearly no spoken words in this movie but sure it's always perfectly understandable what's going on. An old and forgotten art of the cinema :)They should think about that possibility in many of the non-sens movie productions of these days. Images are often great in these days but the textbooks, given out to the actors, are often lousy. From a kid's and adult point of view, I give this movie a 7.5 (8) and recommend it if you have kids around 5-10 years for it's story and to everybody who just enjoy well made movies.

Chappie (2015)

Not impressed

[6/10 · 5 June 2015]

Still 6 points from me, as it is under the line OK. You have never the feeling of seeing something cheap. Everything, like the score, cgi, acting etc. adds up to an indeed watchable movie but it's not really a -one of a kind- standalone. Let me put it like this : If you haven't seen "Short Circuit", "Robocop" and "I, Robot" yet, and you are somewhat in a hurry, then watch just this one. But me, I would always prefer to re-watch the little N° 5 Robot for it's heartbreaking story, Robocop for it's deadly action and I, Robot for it's attempts of philosophic story telling. If Chappie could bring, show or tell us something new and fresh, this movie could have been something but somehow it feels the director hesitated to think outside the box.

Lucia (I) (2013)

Jamma jamma jamma

[6/10 · 11 May 2015]

I was interested in this movie because of it's high rating here of 8,5. So, Bollywood is something I dislike completely because of no story and singing and dancing (I hate when they do that) but I thought this movie has may some real story and must be somehow a great thing to watch. 1 st. attempt was 10 minutes long, then I could not stand any longer this rush kind of speaking about nothing. I became bored and stopped watching. 2nd and last attempt brought me at least through most of the film but the end I skipped with no regret. I couldn't find anything fascinating in what I saw. Sure it is great work for a crowd funded film and for once I indeed enjoyed the singing and dancing, as it was the good and professional parts of the movie :), but under the line it was nothing what I would put into one of my favorite lists. Female audience may be attract to this movie but it was nothing for me.

Timbuktu (2014)

Simply a fine piece of cinematic work

[8/10 · 3 May 2015]

If you like cinema for what it stands for in it's very basic and simplified way by just being an artwork, then this is something for you. It's an very welcome brake between Fast&Furious 7, Sexy Dance 13, the hundreds of versions of Spiderman's, Batman's or whatever. Do not misunderstand me, as I enjoy as well the aspect of cinema being fun and entertaining but something like Timbuktu brings you back to the roots. This kind of film makes your mind wonder around, makes you think and talk about it and let's some space for your own, personal interpretation of what you just saw. In the story itself you are confronted with the ways of the Jihadists and how the people suffer and struggle under the daily pressure of these religious fanatics with guns. Sometimes it has kind of documentary character, when you see as well the daily problems of the Jihadists, and sometimes the movie slides into a tale when there is a witch appearing, or as we follow up on the story of the herder family, or just beautifully shots of landscapes and light music come into play. As I saw the movie in original language with french under-titles, it becomes by times as well a chaotic mix of different, beautiful sounding languages. But truth is, that the people in this movie don't need many words and gestures to express themselves and the little what they say sounds reflected and educated. So even in the worst of suffering, the protagonists stay relatively calm and try, always with the help of god, to communicate. As mentioned in the beginning, a simple, beautifully crafted piece of cinema where everybody should make up his own mind about it. It is especially made for that. Well spent time and money for me.

Kingsman: The Secret Service (2014)

That was F U N

[8/10 · 15 March 2015]

In France it has no age restriction but I would suppose if you are around 10 years old, you will be impressed by all the dead people, executions, exploding heads etc., and, depending on the kid, not getting the point. But sure it is meant to be fun fun fun. Well crafted, nice acting, fun music......well spent time and money if you like some colorful popcorn James Bond homage. First, when I saw in the trailer Samuel L Jackson with the stupid looking cappy I was not sure about the quality of the fun to come but he played real good and there is nothing to be afraid of :) So go now, invite some friends and have a fun session in the cinema ! 8 Points !

Jupiter Ascending (2015)

The wolf-chicken

[4/10 · 9 March 2015]

For some reason the Warchowski family is obsessed by the idea that humans have to be harvested. They are as well obsessed by the idea that a film don't need any good story telling or acting. Computer effects can do it all. The effects are indeed nice to watch but to base a complete film onto it....come on. The story is that a hero is rescuing a star princess out of the claws of the evil. Sad-wise it's shown 4 damn times. Just the settings are changing. So when the 3rd rescue mission starts, you begin to question your lost time and money and why they can not spray from time to time an anti-flea product on the Cinema chairs. And is it a spoiler when I say that the hero becomes at the end a wolf-chicken on anti-gravity shoes ?

Heat (1995)

Near to perfect and suspenseful heist action !

[9/10 · 9 March 2015]

Heat is definitely one of my all time favorite policiers. It is not flawless but the positive sides outweigh easily the negative ones.

I have seen this movie now at least 15 times, but from the 10th time onwards, I'm skipping the last 10 minutes. The ending is not well done. At least not good enough for this fantastic movie. The story is leading us to such kind of an end, but still, for me it's badly made. One other down point is the acting in some scenes of Al Pacino. Nearly funny how he screams and articulate. But I think we know this from other Al Pacino movies as well. He is simply overdoing it. It is his personal style and you may go along with it or not. Still, the acting and interacting of both main characters is very interesting and entertaining. Only real bad acting is coming from Natalie Portman. But hey, she was young.

I like specially the very realistic heist action, the music which makes a big part of the suspense, Spinottis shooting, the sound effects and the under the line in all damn good work of Director & Writer Michael Mann.

It sums up to a one of a kind heist movie, loaded with suspense, action, violence and a story with many interesting plots where you are always willing to follow.

Go, and see this one, If you haven't yet !!

Noah (2014)

Not was I expected

[7/10 · 18 September 2014]

To be honest, when going to the cinema I was a bit afraid of what would come but I was surprised to see a very interesting interpretation of this Bible story. The story of Noah and his quest, influenced by some fantasy stuff and a bit of action. I was pleased to see that is was not overloaded with explosions or "overlorded" with it's Christian story. A really nice balance was found to not loose the important points out of eyesight but keeping it visually and story telling wise always interesting enough so that you are willing to follow. It has somewhat solid acting and so for me it was time well spent and I do recommend it. It won't become member of my all time favorites but still....a surprisingly good movie.

Godzilla (2014)

Oh crap !

[3/10 · 14 May 2014]

Should you see this movie.....? If you are a monster and dinosaur fan under 16 and you haven't seen Pacific Rim yet, definitely ! And maybe if you have on a rainy day off and you are bored from internet and you absolutely do not know what to do. And if it was for the last reason, even here you do not feel that this movie will stay longer in your brain as exactly this rainy afternoon. At least I will have latest by tomorrow completely forgotten about this movie and this is the good thing about it. Only scene which has left me with a little "wow", that was when the army forces plane jumped. That was visually interesting and with the Space Odyssey 2001 sound laid under even acoustic wise interesting. All the rest, but really all the rest of the 118 minutes left, I have seen already 5 times in the last 2 years. What was the point of doing this movie ? I will tell you. Only point about this movie is keeping the people at work. So many salaries are in such a Hollywood crap that they often do not care at all what they are feeding the audience. This is somewhat sad and certainly sad for Ken Watanabe, the actor from Inception (he played this time so lousy) and the people from Legendary. Binoche was only in it for her name and to fool the willing to pay audience that there could be some real acting in this film. And why, why, why, always the same f.....g kind of story ? Muscle army husband has to leave his family to fight the monster and cutie blonde wife and cutie kid are left behind but for sure, 1 hour later, for some reason, back in the middle of the war zone. And sure, Godzilla (or it's counterparts) had to be fought by Americans in San Francisco, but hey, so intelligent, in the Chinese quarter. That makes it feel so real Japanese. No, I really hoped for something at least similar to Pacific Rim but this is by far not the case at all. 3 points out of 10 for quiet flawless CGI and some nice 3D moments in the beginning of the movie + plane jumpers. So it's not complete rubbish but nearly.

The Broken Circle Breakdown (2012)

Sad and very touching

[9/10 · 13 May 2014]

If you are America fan or not, if you like tattoos or banjo play or not....that does not matter for liking or disliking this movie. Those are just the surroundings. What it is about is true love and how beautiful everything can be...till..life is showing it's dark and sinister side. And then, most important, how to live your life from now on...is it even possible to go on ? If out there is only darkness, if there is only tears and sadness, if I needed you.... would you come to me ? It's one beautiful movie, amazing soundtrack and some very touching acting combined in a story where I would say that only life can write it like this. I give it 9 points out of 10 but beware...it is really a sad movie, beautiful somehow, but sad.

The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014)

Well done !

[8/10 · 8 May 2014]

I give it a rock solid 8 out of 10.

The action : was nicely paced and decent to watch. End-fight cutting was a bit lightweight and disorientating but maybe the good man had no other choice because of the raw material or the wishes of director/producers...?...who knows. Did not ruined the film.

The story : absolutely fine nice plots, dialogs, characters etc. That was all the time easy and interesting to follow up.

The acting : How the two little love-birds interacted was simply beautiful and refreshing. A gem ! I swear that I found out only after watching the movie that they are in real a couple as well !! So cute all that. Here and there I found Garfield not funny when trying to be funny...but hey, that was only in 2 or 3 scenes when chasing the villains. Speaking of....Jamie Foxx was a nice choice as well.

Music, settings, costumes, sounds, sfx.... all flawless. I was happy to learn that Hans Zimmer can still surprise me. I knew that he can annoy me but here I have nothing but compliments for the score.

-------------- Under the line : Part two felt a bit more sound than the 1st part and I'm still under the impression that I had an enjoyable time in cinema and that the money was well spent. This movie offers emotion, action, fantasy, sci-fi and what remains most is that cute love story with Emma and Andrew. I could not ask much more from a Spidey-movie. Well done!

Zulu (2013)

So full of clichées

[6/10 · 18 January 2014]

The good aspect of this film, Bloom found a way out of his "Legolas and the 7 Smurfs" image. Quiet good acting from him and his partner Whitaker in this policier. Under the line I even would say that movie was somewhat entertaining and therefore not lost time or money. On the other hand it is so full of clichées, that you here and there need to smile. That smile will fade then quickly when the next one got shot, tortured or something cut off his body. I would say a 6.5 at best but as this is not an option I give it a 6. To good to be bad and to bad to be good. And to fill the 10 lines of text, I can add that it was interesting to see some surroundings of South Africa but not enough to go therefore in Cinema. DVD will do it, unless you are a huge Orlando Bloom Fan.

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (2013)

Again and again and again

[7/10 · 18 December 2013]

After all this time, I still have in mind how great it was to see the 3 LOTR-films. The big battle scenes, all the settings, creatures and characters.....wonderfully crafted fantasy movies after Tolkiens books, which I red. The first part of the Hobbit was leaving me then already with a "ok, nice" feeling. Because somehow I'm maybe not fanatic enough to go on and on with Elves, Dwarfs, Orcs and the tales of the little Hobbits. Seems nothing new or unexpected could come after the first 3 LOTR-movies. Time passed by and Hobbit part 2 comes out...who ran into cinema again..? ME. Why ? I don't know. It was just again about Elves, Dwarfs, Orcs, a Dragon and the tales of the little Hobbits. What did I expected....stupid me. So, what can I say...a absolute must for real fans because it is well made. For myself, I'm pretty sure now that all other Hobbit-related movies by Peter Jackson will be seen at best only at home on a rainy week-end. I'm getting saturated. And the idea of the producers to let pass by so much time between the parts wont help them next time....I hope ;)

Blades of Glory (2007)

Let me put my Poem into you

[10/10 · 15 August 2013]

That is one of the most funniest movies I know. It is rare in these times that I can watch a film over and over again. It is perfectly written, acted and overall very nicely crafted. It is a perfect parody on that ridiculous seriousness of this sport. The lines are so funny and the story is hilarious. Sometimes it hurts my stomach because of the laughing. Here at IMDb's it is completely underrated. Maybe from Dumb&Dumber fans ? I have no idea why this movie is not at least rated around 8 Stars. Because of this movie I watched more Ferrell stuff like -The Anchorman- but as so often, I hardly can smile at most of the Hollywood comedy's. This one is something else and makes me laugh every time I watch it ! I give it a ten out of ten. It's flawless.

Man of Steel (2013)

Nope

[4/10 · 9 August 2013]

Zack Snyder directed, as an example, Watchmen, a film I really liked. Christopher Nolan wrote/directed stuff like The Dark Knight, Inception and Memento.....all films very high up in my personal rankings. I could now go on with - Russell Crowe, an actor I really like......OK, I think you see where this review is leading to....that film was an disappointment. With this representation of these Krypton alien folks it looked like Christopher Nolan wanted to give Zack Snyder the possibility to re-live the success of 300' and Russel Crowe the possibility to show himself again as the heroic Gladiator. Well, both fail. All that is paired with a mediocre and pale super-hero in nylons. I'm not able to point something out what I did not saw much better before in another movie already. Everything, from costumes to camera over to the score from Hans Zimmer, everything felt like "c'mmon, let's make quickly a block buster". Big names all over, big budget, big super-hero story....what in heavens name can go wrong ? Yes, indeed : everything ! Superman deserves better.

Searching for Sugar Man (2012)

Food for your soul

[9/10 · 8 August 2013]

Soul, mind and body, they all have similar needs and they all need to be taken care of. Coming out of this movie I heard my soul burping like my body after a good meal. Technically, this movie is so basic as a movie may can be but it's content is something what made my mind drifting away. And this is what music, photography, theater, paintings and all arts in general are all about....to stimulate and move your feelings and thoughts in a surprisingly way. If you can come up with something like that and it had cost just a couple of bucks, than it means there is a lot of heart in it. And this, you definitely can feel. Two more things.....I was never a Bob Dylan fan and Rodriguez should have used the name Sixto and he would have become famous :) Enjoy this film folks.

The English Patient (1996)

In my top 100 and will stay there forever

[10/10 · 1 December 2011]

Sometimes I just don't get it with the ratings of the IMDb. I'm writing this review because I'm shocked to see this film at a 7.3 rating. This is so ridiculous. It is really hard to point out a film which is better told, better crafted, having a more deeply love-story and such a overall fascinating aura. I do understand that everything is a question of taste but this masterpiece is so full of beauty and drama that you simply can not rate it under 8. If you do not like it so much = 8 , if you like it = 9 and if you love it's pure beauty = 10 And now go and watch this movie. You wont regret it if you like romance and love story's and beautifully crafted films.

Dark Star (1974)

Makes me feel good

[10/10 · 5 May 2011]

I can totally connect to this kind of crap. This film makes me feel good and easy, like on a rainy Sunday afternoon… when you have Monday off as well. These people on this spaceship are like us - bored to death, aggressive, not beautiful, full of dreams and with no escape from their daily business. Benson Arizona, the opening music, is still one of my favorite pieces of music which I mainly listen to in my car. No traffic jam or what's o'ever can annoy with this song playing. Generally, I ad often the early oeuvres of Carpenter to my favorites but this one - this one is special to me. I think most people like to use illegal substances with this film to get in the mood or to keep up with the senselessness but honestly, I prefer to watch it sober, with my brains on. Makes me feel good!