CinefanR Reviews

Dark (2017–2020)

Below expectations

[6/10 · 6 October 2022]

The series tries to be a commentary on the human condition, wrapped in a sci-fi theme. Watching it, older viewers may be reminded of Twin Peaks, while younger ones, of Stranger Things. This is not a copy of either one. Dark stands on it's own; however, I found it underwhelming despite the raving reviews.

One might get even Stalker flashes of Tarkovski's pretentious monologues.

Dark riffs on issues like identity, determinism, free will, the nature of time, faith etc. Quite elevated for the current state of affairs, right? But what it fails to do, in my opinion, is to encompass all these topics in a truly original take. Twin Peaks for instance had a unique vision on the human condition, on good vs evil, and its poetry hits a nerve, even when leaving the novelty out of it. Twin Peaks was unique, visually and conceptually, with a timeless complexity on many levels.

Another fault of Dark is its repetitive nature. All the characters say the same things, and they repeat it across multiple episodes. We got the picture from the first time, and it's getting old pretty fast.

Soon enough, characters get in and out of time, and again, it's getting tiresome and confusing, leading to a lack of interest in whatever happens next.

The teenage actors' older versions are well chosen and the acting is decent; however they lack charisma. There is no star power here.

I doubt there can be such thing as star power in non American films. However brilliant these productions may be, Hollywood made its name for a reason. They know entertainment. They got the winning formula. They got the stars. They got the one liners.

That's not to say that Dark is bad, I just expected more.

The Mentalist (2008–2015)

Average at best

[6/10 · 3 August 2022]

The lead actor is perfectly cast as the crook. Simon Baker is very pleasant to watch , and it's a perfect match to the role.

The script however is very weak. Simon is wasted talent because of this half-assed writing. The supporting characters are boring, uninteresting, underdeveloped, and have no chemistry whatsoever. They have no real personality, there is no depth, so no connection to the audience.

The name "Jane" is stupid and annoying, and so is this "CBI" agency. What is that? How about Police or FBI. Annoying and unimaginative.

Even the Jane character has its holes. Prior to his tragedy he was a ruthless conman. Afterwards , he's such an ethical person. Implausible. Inconsistent. Bad writing.

On a side note, all the extras in this series are familiar from House MD, Psych, X-Files, The Young and the restless, Monk and virtually every American series out there, which is distracting.

G.I. Jane (1997)

Fantastic, very entertaining

[10/10 · 17 July 2022]

One of my favorite action movies. Apart from Demi's incredible physical performance and memorable roles by Anne Bancroft and Viggo M., this is a perfect summer blockbuster. Why it flopped at the time is beyond me, but I don't care. This is a great Hollywood movie to enjoy by all ages - fun, entertaining and memorable. Love it!

Supernova (2005 TV Movie)

So bad it's bad

[1/10 · 10 July 2022]

Some fine actors like Lance Henriksen and Fonda were wasted on this sorry excuse for a movie. The script is so lame that these actors couldn't possibly save it. Tia is weak as always, so I guess it fits with the rest. The plot "twist" is as ridiculous as it can get, and there's no fun in it either.

Terminator Genisys (2015)

What a mess

[3/10 · 9 July 2022]

I gave it 3 stars for nostalgia , but the movie is a pathetic mess. No originality, devoid of any logic, with charmless actors , this makes no sense, it's boring and insulting to T1 and 2.

Independence Day: Resurgence (2016)

Dissapointment of epic proportions

[1/10 · 29 May 2022]

They basically sucked out all the fun from the first movie, and this is the result: a joyless, grim, boring, stupid mess. Nothing memorable about it. It's depressing, actually.

Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)

Enjoyable, but not worthy of the T franchise

[8/10 · 23 May 2022]

Overall, an enjoyable flick, but in no way worthy of the Terminator franchise. There are many flaws, but the main one is in my opinion the casting. John Connor and his partner are portrayed by two actors devoid of charisma. I don't know who these actors are, but they have no charm or talent whatsoever. They are forgettable, bland, boring and unattractive.

The script is mediocre at best as well. There are no memorable one-liners, the ones that made T2 the stuff of legends. The humour is overdone.

If you ignore the fact that this is a Terminator movie, and stop comparing it with the legendary T1&2, then it's an ok movie. The female terminator was a nice touch, by the way.

Moonfall (2022)

Lackluster, boring, dissapointing

[3/10 · 1 April 2022]

Disaster movies are an absolute favorite genre of mine, and I take them with lots of cheese and one-liners. This one is such a bore, it was shocking. Everything is lame, from the casting (I think I saw this guy in those demon-something movies?), to the acting, to the script. Unfunny, boring... Halle berry looks very tired, stiff, and a soap opera actor could act better , really. These actors don't have any charm whatsoever.

Wayward Pines (2015–2016)

Terrible, nonsense script

[1/10 · 1 March 2022]

No wonder I hadn't heard of this series. It's very bad, just like "Under the dome", "La Brea" and other recent productions of the genre. In the worst case I was expecting some Twin Peaks vibes, but it was much worse than "zero originality".

The first episode is intriguing enough and looks good, but everything goes down the drain from there, with a totally nonsense script and very poor character development. The huge wholes in logic and consistency make it impossible to relate to anything going on. The lead actor is unpleasant to look at, but that's just me. I gave up after 4 episodes or so. Total waste of time.

Man on a Ledge (2012)

Great Hollywood entertainment

[10/10 · 24 January 2022]

Very entertaining, I liked it a lot and it was a very nice surprise. With the exception of the worst possible title, this movie delivered and it's thoroughly enjoyable as a Hollywood classic. It's not meant to be analysed, just get your popcorn (or whatever you like) and enjoy!

The Matrix (1999)

Insightful, engaging, atemporal

[10/10 · 13 December 2021]

20 years later, this is just as fresh and meaningful as it was back then. Unlike many sci-fi's out there, this one hasn't aged a day, and that is the hallmark of great film making. It is thought provoking, dark, engaging, entertaining, unpredictable... basically perfect in every respect. One of the best sci-fi's of all time. Enjoy!

Invasion (2021–2024)

Incredibly Slow and boring

[2/10 · 31 October 2021]

I used to like Tarkovski, so I can appreciate "slow". But this is bad. Being slow wouldn't be such a problem IF actually there were some interesting characters and stories. These ones are sooo boring, badly written, underdeveloped... there is literally NOTHING to keep the show going. Done after 3 episodes.

The Jinx: The Life and Deaths of Robert Durst (2015–2024)

Underwhelming

[3/10 · 16 October 2021]

Not impressed with this one, and I had high expectations after all the hype around it.

All the people interviewed in this documentary have some sort of accent and they don't say anything interesting. Not even Durst himself. The way he talks is annoying and it gets old fast. I found him boring. Creepy, yes, but boring. The whole series just didn't captivate me at all, it drags on forever and lacks actual insight into the criminal mind. The journalism is very poor quality. "Are you a killer?", "No, I'm not". Ok, so I guess he's not a killer. Conducting interviews like this and asking this kind of questions is laughable and a waste of everyone's time.

As to the "shocking" finale's "big reveal", it's nothing but heavily edited mumbling nonsense during Durst's toilet break (yeah, you got that right: toilet break). Give me a break.

Seduced: Inside the NXIVM Cult (2020)

Critical thinking is a survival skill

[8/10 · 14 October 2021]

This is a reminder, if one was ever needed (especially in these times, right?), that critical thinking is above all a survival skill.

Although obviously scripted, and more like a damage control move from the protagonists, this is still a fascinating insight into the cult phenomenon and psychology.

I liked the protagonist's mother and grandmother. India was indeed very young, and that is probably why she got away with it, unlike that Smallville actress and the co-president (can't remember their names). It is very entertaining and in the same time cautionary. It's quite fascinating to see where stupidity (not necessarily a low IQ, but bad decision making and ignoring one's intuition) paired with insanity can lead. All these victims are unfortunately part of the problem, although being stupid is not an invitation to abuse. The endless list of criminal activities within this cult is unbelievable. Everyone is lucky to still be alive and they now have a chance to learn, recover and move on. An important lesson for everyone.

Extinction (2018)

Unwatchable

[1/10 · 20 June 2021]

This must be the worst sci fi ever. Bad story, acting, casting, cgi, really lame. Stopped watching midway, it is that boring and amateurish.

Devs (2020)

Poorly written and acted

[1/10 · 13 June 2021]

I was looking forward to another Ex maquina-like fantastic movie, but unfortunately this one is a mess. The lead actress is extremely annoying and can't act at all. Her grating voice makes viewing impossible. The other characters are dull as hell, and pretentious writing is all over the place trying hard to look "intellectual" and deep.

Violent scenes dragged on and on in slow motion gratuitously and were very unpleasant. Stopped watching after 2 episodes or so. Such a waste of time.

Under the Dome (2013–2015)

Incredibly dumb

[1/10 · 14 February 2021]

The premise was great, it had so much potential, but... I wonder who the hell writes such lame nonsense. The characters are badly written, inconsistent, unmemorable, with no chemistry whatsoever; the dialogue is dull and just bad; the action drags. They act stupidly, like the sherrif who's supposed to be the brightest of the bunch, insisting to touch the dome until his pacemaker explodes? Really? And so on, more and more nonsense. Incredible how someone payed for this show to be made.

Songbird (II) (2020)

Glimpse into alternate future

[10/10 · 23 January 2021]

I thoroughly enjoyed the movie, not a dull moment in it. I think it's very well done given the context, and it captures the zeitgeist of 2020 perfectly, with that dark twist to give it an edge. This is bound to become a cult classic, known as THAT movie filmed during the pandemic, about the pandemic. It's eerie, a bit disturbing, realistic, do I dare to say... possible? No cheap thrills here, no rivers of blood, just the anxiety, confusion and quiet desperation of a different, not so far fetched version of reality. It's all about mood, atmosphere, and less about fast action sequences, although there is some of that too.

I don't get the bad reviews, and couldn't care less about "critics". Maybe some people were put off by the timing of such subject matter, but hey, it's just a movie. It didn't strike me as exploitative or cynical in any way. On the contrary, I found it insightful and positive, with interesting characters and social commentary. It is very well written and very well acted. Recommended.

The Wave (2015)

Too much "family drama"

[5/10 · 17 January 2021]

When I watch a "disaster movie" I expect entertainment above all else. But that is just me. In this regard however, the movie fails, and it does so because it's no Hollywood. This is what Wave is lacking: star power- charismatic leads, memorable and/or funny one-liners, humour, camp, dramatic build up... all the things that make Hollywood movies universally appealing and fun.

The actors here are all unpleasant to look at, charmless, and again, I would like to see a disaster flick without children in it (or family drama of any kind). The build up to the actual disaster is extremeley long and boring to death.

Then, what is really annoying is how incredibly stupidly and Slowly everyone acts. The woman in the early learning center waits for another minute to push the alarm, even after the mountain starts collapsing. Get on with it, stupid! They all stare at the data, warnings everywhere, and assume there's an error. What's the point of having all that equipment then? Why would the blonde need to knock on every door inside the hotel wasting precious time? Doesn't every adult know that when an alarm sounds in the middle of the night, you just get out immediately? And the stupidity goes on and on.

One good thing about the movie is the beautiful scenery, Norway is indeed breathtaking.

Greenland (2020)

Stupid people making stupid decisions

[2/10 · 16 January 2021]

... in a thouroughly stupid film, full of cliches, soap opera and cringe worthy dialogue. Everything revolves around this stupid kid who is Really, really annoying, while his "estranged" parents are preoccupied with saving their sorry little asses. This is all small scale, so the perspective is boring as hell and devoid of any entertainment value, unlike 2012 for instance. Montgomery Wick looks like he's lost the battle with time, and script writers give him such lines that Vertical Limit looks like oscar worthy brilliance by comparison (that one was entertaining though). So yes, this movie had no chance with such a poor script.

The Eiger Sanction (1975)

Offensive, lame 70's trash

[1/10 · 17 July 2015]

A particularly bad movie, even for the 70's film making.

Offensive, misogynistic, racist, homophobic and just plain stupid, start to finish.

All the women in this sorry excuse for a movie are dumb bimbos whose sole purpose of existence is to get laid for money. The ongoing jokes about rape, race etc are in very poor taste, if not unacceptable. The script is beyond stupid, the acting terrible.

The only redeeming quality of this movie is the scenery, but there's nowhere near enough of it to make you sit through. The attempts at humor are incredibly lame, and Eastwood's "tough" persona gets old really fast. As a Clint Eastwood fan, I found this very disappointing.

The War of the Roses (1989)

Brilliant script, splendid movie

[10/10 · 17 February 2014]

This gem of a movie oddly never got enough praise. It's a stroke of genius right there, and the whole thing is simply flawless. The screenplay is extremely clever and for once there are no compromises in this script. One can only admire the movie's commitment to the truth. It has a certain sincerity that I find absolutely refreshing, so those who call it "cynical" miss the point entirely. Marriage and its dissolution are dissected with a stunning finesse of psychological observation; it's all very funny, insightful, touching, ruthless, relentless. Three major stars in their prime (Douglas, Turner, De Vito)play their roles to perfection and deliver the best performance of their careers.

One of the best films ever made (don't watch it on a first date though!)

The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008)

The best of Hollywood

[9/10 · 7 May 2013]

The movie is a comical masterpiece, thoroughly enjoyable as unintentional comedy- the kind that is made with the straightest of faces.

I wish for once Aliens landed in a Mexican village and not in New York or Los Angeles. I wish for the world to be saved or doomed by someone other than American Presidents and their bravery or stupidity. Just for the sake of diversity, no other reason! Other clichés: good scientists vs. evil governments, dumb generals stuck in MAD mode, "love conquers all", and so on- you gotta love this stuff.

The idea of a superior alien civilization trying to put sense into the human race is pretty ridiculous. Just as stupid as putting an alien to a lie detector. Or having the said Alien meet another fellow alien in a McDonald's joint, speaking Chinese. The shameless McDonald's product placement is another stroke of moronic genius, and that scene will have anyone rolling on the floor laughing.

The encounter between Klaatu and the Nobel laureate was, again, laugh- out-loud cliché. Klaatu listens to Bach and has a sudden revelation on human duality. The Alien and the Man seem to share a mathematical language, so they gaze at each other and feel a connection. We are not that different after all. How deeply touching!

Now for the truly bad parts: the ungrateful, obnoxious little brat played by the child of a famous actor. This character is so ANNOYING, he spoils every single scene. Keanu's performance is in the "so bad it's good" category, and it's fascinating. The whole movie would be in the same category if it wasn't for the damn annoying brat.

Blue Velvet (1986)

David Lynch at his best !

[10/10 · 2 May 2013]

When David Lynch made this movie, he still had it. "Blue Velvet" is so quirky, in that unique "Lynch" style, perfectly blending dark mystery with romance, irony and humor (a twisted sense of humor I might add). It is moving, scary and funny all together, it's pure Lynch: familiar but dark Americana, white picket fences, light and darkness, innocence and insanity, the mysteries of life and death.

Everything is top-notch here - the outstanding sound design, the writing, the acting (Why hasn't Dennis Hopper won an Oscar for this one?). I found Hopper's character to be very funny. He never crosses the line to being a caricature, but he isn't all that frightening either. All the scenes he's in are priceless, and he's totally unpredictable. It's a strange world, indeed.

Sex, Lies, and Videotape (1989)

Interesting approach

[10/10 · 2 May 2013]

It's about sincerity and closeness, and how this closeness is achieved through conversation, not necessarily sex.

The main attraction here is James Spader and his enigmatic character. The mystery around him is enough to keep you watching, and Spader's performance is captivating as usual. This actor has a sort of surreal edge that makes him fascinating. All the others are memorable in their roles, especially the younger sister.

Special credit must be given to the outstanding score, which emphasizes the dramatic build-up. It's discrete, mysterious and it's in the right places, and puts a neat finishing touch to Soderbergh's project. Because the movie does look like a filmmaker's personal project. It's very close and personal, with documentary-like sequences and private conversations filmed indoors. Everything clicks - acting, script, direction, and there is a satisfying simplicity to it. Soderbergh is known for his daring, smart experiments ("Schizopolis", anyone?) and this is one of his best.