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Shadevil75
Reviews
Tales from Pandora's Box: Chapter One (2022)
Worst anthology ever
I love horror anthologies. I've seen professionally made anthologies and homemade anthologies that literally cost $600 to produce. Tales from Pandora's Box: Chapter One is the worst anthology I have ever seen with my or anyone else's eyes. I have looked over the director's body of work and it makes sense that this movie seems like a failed Red Shoe Diaries. This movie was made so he could film beautiful women performing mime. There is no real acting in the whole movie. No dialogue in the whole movie. Each incomplete tale is narrated by a woman offscreen. Why, at some point, while in the bathtub taking a bath does "Pandora" put the retractable shower head to her ear like it is a phone? Again, it feels like a bunch of failed Red Shoe Diary stories that have been cobbled together and made into an anthology using narration as the device. I wish I could give it below zero stars so as to take away any stars it has been given. It is not worth watching even to brag you have seen the worst anthology ever made.
Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (1954)
Favorite musical about Stockholm syndrome
Seven Brides for Seven Brothers is a beautiful train wreck. The choreography is ok. The colors are so bright they almost assault the eyes. **SPOILER ALERT** The song Sobbin' Women literally advocates for kidnapping women by saying (singing) women will think you're crazy if you don't rough them up (Treat 'em rough like them there Romans do or else they'll think you're tetched) and how they secretly like to be seggually assaulted (Oh they acted angry and annoyed but secretly were overjoyed). Another reviewer's title states this musical holds up to this day. I hope not! However, sometimes a movie is enjoyable because it's terrible. This is one of those movies. If you think lying by omission to get a woman to marry you and encouraging six mountain men brothers to kidnap women like the Romans did in the historical tale Rape of the Sabine Women filmed very brightly with a lot of fake surroundings is laughably awful then you will truly appreciate this cringefest.
Prey (2022)
As good as the first Predator
This review is going to be pretty vague, but almost everyone knows the basic storyline to a Predator film; an imposing alien life form hunts down people for trophies. I loved the first Predator movie. I had seen the sequels and crossovers, but was never impressed by the storylines in those sequels and crossovers. Prey's storyline and setting are entrancing! The beginning may start off a little slow for some, but it reminds me of how the first movie in the series set up a scenario before veering off into the unexpected. The wardrobe, Comanche way of life, and the how the French interacted with the Comanche is period accurate. All the Comanches are played by indigenous peoples. The artwork that is shown during the end credits is done by indigenous artists. This movie is absolutely worth giving a chance. Honestly, I probably wouldn't have watched it, but I was visiting a friend and he put it on because he's a fan of the Predator series. Halfway through watching the movie I thanked him for doing so. There is a line or two that are from the first movie and a small tie-in to the second movie. Other than those little Easter eggs for Predator fans this movie can be watched without knowing anything about the other movies in the series.