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paul_haakonsen
I am a big fan of Asian cinema in particular, and I am quite fond of especially South Korean and Hong Kong movies.
My favorite genre is, and always have been, horror, with a preference to anything with zombies in it.
I believe that every movie should be given the chance of being seen - a belief that has lead me to watch many a questionable movies.
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Reviews
Robot Jox (1989)
Rather enjoyable...
I had never heard about the 1989 movie "Robot Jox" prior to stumbling upon it by random chance here in 2024. And as I opted to sit down to watch it, I have to admit that I wasn't really harboring much of any grand expectations to it. I am not overly keen on sci-fi in general.
But color me impressed. Now, I am familiar with Stuart Gordon's work in the horror genre, so it was quite a surprise to see that he had directed a movie such as "Robot Jox". And it turned out to be a rather enjoyable and entertaining movie. Writers
Stuart Gordon and Joe Haldeman put together a good storyline and script for the movie.
The acting performances in the movie were good. Gary Graham carried the movie quite nicely. And it was also nice to see the likes of Jeffrey Combs and Carolyn Purdy-Gordon showing up on the screen, despite it being in minor roles only.
Visually then "Robot Jox" was okay. Some of the effects are showing signs of aging, but in general I was pleased with the special effects.
"Robot Jox" is definitely a movie that is well worth sitting down to watch if you have an interest in sci-fi and 'mecha' (you know, those big war machines).
I was genuinely entertained throughout the course of the 85 minutes that the movie ran for.
My rating of "Robot Jox" lands on a six out of ten stars.
Zenon: The Zequel (2001)
Something for the kids...
I literally had no idea what I was in for here, when I sat down to watch the 2001 movie "Zenon: The Zequel". But with it being a movie that I had not seen, nor heard about, of course I opted to sit down and give it a fair chance.
While I wasn't exactly the target audience for this particular movie, I will say that writers Marilyn Sadler, Roger Bollen and Stu Krieger put together a fair enough script and storyline to entertain a younger audience, most likely of female audience members.
And without having seen the first movie, I don't know if I was missing out on any grand storyline arches from the previous movie that were carried over to the sequel. Nor were I familiar with what characters were returning from the precedessor movie or not.
The only faces on the cast list that I was familiar with was actors John Getz and Stuart Pankin. It should be noted, however, that the acting performances were fair.
The CGI effects in the movie were rather questionable. Most of the CGI looked like it was in post-production rendering stage. It looked incomplete and lackinge depth and details.
"Zenon: The Zequel" was not my cup of tea, but it wasn't exactly a bad movie.
My rating of director Manny Coto's 2001 movie "Zenon: The Zequel" lands on a five out of ten stars.
Beneath Still Waters (2005)
A fair enough horror movie...
When I sat down to watch the 2005 horror movie "Beneath Still Waters" here in 2024, it was my very first time to watch it. I had heard about the title, but had no idea what the movie was about. And had I known that it was Brian Yuzna that directed the movie, I do believe that I would have tracked down the movie a lot earlier than 2024.
As I started the movie, I was harboring no expectations, because I didn't know what I was in for. But when I saw Brian Yuzna listed as the director in the start credits, I will say that things started to look brighter.
The storyline in "Beneath Still Waters" was adequate. While I haven't read the novel by Matthew Costello, I can't really claim to know how true to the source material that writers Mike Hostench and Ángel Sala were. However, sitting down and watching the movie without having any knowledge of what I was in for, I will say that the storyline proved to be entertaining enough. Sure, writers Mike Hostench and Ángel Sala didn't re-invent the wheel here for the horror genre, but it proved enjoyable enough for what it was.
And there were a couple of clear Lovecraftian influences to be seen throughout the course of the 96 minutes that the movie ran for, which is a common occurrence in Brian Yuzna's movies. And that is definitely something I enjoy.
I wasn't familiar with the cast ensemble in the movie, but the acting performances were fair. I have no idea who Patrick Gordon was, but he was nicely cast for the role of the villainous Mordecai Salas character.
Visually then the movie was fair. Sure, the CGI effects were a bit wobbly and showing signs of aging. But the practical effects are good, as they tend to be in Brian Yuzna's movies.
Certainly a watchable and fair enough horror movie, though hardly a movie that warrants more than a single viewing.
My rating of "Beneath Still Waters" lands on a five out of ten stars.
Collision Earth (2011)
Rather generic...
Granted, I wasn't really harboring the biggest of expectations to director Paul Ziller, as I sat down to watch the 2011 movie "Collision Earth". I have to admit that the movie was just permeating with a cheesy and generic end-of-the-world-by-a-cosmic-event type of movie. But I still opted to watch the movie, on account of it being a movie that I hadn't already seen, much less actually heard about.
Writer Ryan Landels put together a rather generic natural disaster movie. But I will say that it was an entertaining enough storyline and script, despite it being generic and really predictable. You're not in for anything new or grand here, as writer Ryan Landels pretty much places the bets safe and play on tropes already done and seen before in other movies.
I love how the magnetic radiation seemed to follow Dr. James Preston (played by Kirk Acevedo) around as he was driving in his car. I love that about natural disaster movies, how the forces of nature seem to always single out the main characters of the movie and wreak havoc in their immediate vicinity, but generally nowhere else.
The acting performances in the movie were fair. I was only familiar with actors Kirk Acevedo and Adam Greydon Reid, and also actress Jessica Parker Kennedy.
The special effects in "Collision Earth" were pretty terrible. For a movie that was made in 2011, the CGI animation looks like something that was made in the 1990s. It was just laughably bad. And natural disaster movies such as this definitely need proper special effects to be properly effective.
Needless to mention the ending of the movie, because writer Ryan Landels delivered an ending that you knew coming even before sitting down to watch the movie. Yup, we all love these types of unrealistic endings, don't we?
My rating of director Paul Ziller's 2011 movie "Collision Earth" lands on a four out of ten stars.
The Body Stealers (1969)
Was there a point to this movie...?
As I sat down to watch the 1969 movie "The Body Stealers" here in 2024, it was for the very first time. I had, in fact, actually never even heard about the movie. But the movie's title was interesting, and with it being a movie that I hadn't already seen, of course I opted to give the movie a chance.
And now that I've sat through 91 minutes of the movie, I have to admit that the script and storyline from writers Michael St. Clair and Gerry Levy, with the latter also directing the movie, didn't exactly put together an overly interesting or entertaining script and storyline. I have to say that I was finding it difficult to piece together a red thread throughout the course of the movie.
I wasn't familiar with the cast ensemble in the movie. Though I will say that the acting performances were fairly good, despite of the script being subpar.
While I did manage to sit through the entire movie, I was hardly entertained. And this is definitely not a movie that will find its way back on my screen a second time. And 91 minutes through, still no body stealers in sight.
The music throughout the movie was a bit over the top. It was a bit too over-dramatic for my preference.
The movie didn't really look, nor feel, like a movie from the late 1960s, so thumbs up to director Gerry Levy for accomplishing that.
My rating of "The Body Stealers" lands on a very generous three out of ten stars.
Sintel (2010)
Meh...
I didn't know what I was in for here, aside from "Sintel" being an animated short film.
But as I had the opportunity to sit down and watch it, of course I did so. I had never seen it before, nor actually heard about it. So writers Esther Wouda, Martin Lodewijk and Colin Levy had every opportunity to impress and bedazzle me.
Sure, the storyline was fair enough. But running at a mere 14 minutes, of course it was limited what the writers could cram into the narrative, so it was a bit rushed. But it proved to be fair enough entertainment for a single viewing.
The CGI in "Sintel" haven't aged well. It looked like something that was spawned in the early 2000s, not 2010. And the CGI rendering sort of took away from the overall enjoyment of this 2010 animated movie from director Colin Levy.
It is not something that I will return to watch a second time.
How did this 2010 animated movie land a 7.4 rating? That is simply beyond my comprehension.
My rating of "Sintel" lands on a five out of ten stars.
The Contractor (2007)
Watchable, but nothing outstanding...
I have actually never watched the 2007 action thriller "The Contractor" before now in 2024, as I had the opportunity to sit down and watch it. And of course I opted to do so, since it was a movie that had Wesley Snipes in the leading role, and it was a movie that I hadn't already seen.
Writers Robert Foster, Joshua Michael Stern, Robert Katz and André Farwagi put together a fair enough script and storyline. It certainly was a watchable movie, though I would hardly go as far as to saying that "The Contractor" was an outstanding or memorable action thriller.
The acting performances in the movie were good, and of course you know what you are getting with Wesley Snipes in a leading role. It was nice to see the likes of Charles Dance in the movie as well. And these two were actually the only familiar faces on the cast list for me.
The character gallery in the movie was rather one-dimensional. You don't really get to know much about any of the characters; not even the main character. And you sit somewhat distances from them throughout the course of the movie, and you don't really care what happens to them, much less root for or against them, as you don't really know their motivation or drive.
Watchable for what it was, "The Contractor" came and went without leaving much of a lasting impression on me. I doubt that I will ever return to watch the movie a second time.
My rating of director Josef Rusnak's 2007 action thriller "The Contractor" lands on a five out of ten stars.
I Saw the TV Glow (2024)
Brutally dull and uneventful...
I virtually didn't know what I was in for, when I sat down to watch the 2024 horror movie "I Saw the TV Glow". I had never heard about the movie, but with it being a horror movie that I hadn't already seen, of course I found the time to a check out what writer and director Jane Schoenbrun had to offer.
The storyline in "I Saw the TV Glow" failed to entertain me. There wasn't anything interesting in the storyline, and it was rather dull and monotonously paced, which made sitting through the movie quite a struggle. I was on the verge of turning off the movie prematurely a couple of times throughout the course of the 100 minutes that the movie ran for.
I wasn't familiar with the cast ensemble in the movie, aside from actor Justice Smith, but I will say that the acting performances were fair, despite of the script and storyline being utter rubbish.
"I Saw the TV Glow" was a swing and a miss in terms of being a horror movie. The only thing scary here was how slow paced and uneventful the narrative was.
This is definitely not a horror movie that I would recommend for horror fans to go out of their way in order to get to watch. Nor is it a movie that will ever grace my screen a second time, because I was hardly entertained the first time around.
My rating of "I Saw the TV Glow" lands on a two out of ten stars.
Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey 2 (2024)
Better than part one...
While I certainly wasn't a fan of the 2023 movie "Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey", I still sat down to watch the sequel "Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey 2", simply because I had the opportunity to do so, plus it as a movie that I hadn't already seen.
Needless to say, that given my lack of being impressed with the predecessor, then I wasn't really harboring any grand expectations to writers Rhys Frake-Waterfield and Matt Leslie. But still, I opted to give them the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps the sequel would prove better than the 2023 predecessor.
Luckily "Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey 2" did prove better than its predecessor. There was a bit more elaborate and thought through script and storyline to this sequel. And it was a generally more wholesome and enjoyable storyline that they had put together. So I was definitely genuinely surprised with the outcome of this 2024 sequel.
I wasn't familiar with the cast ensemble in this movie. But I will say that they acting performances were actually fair. Sure, this wasn't Shakespearian theater, nor were I expecting it to be. But for a movie of this type, it was actually good enough acting performances being put on by the cast ensemble.
How tacky is it when movie makers put footage from their first movie on a TV in the sequel and passing it off as something a character in the movie was watching? Yeah, that happened in this movie, and it was just cringeworthy.
Visually then "Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey 2" definitely was good. There were a good amount of violence, blood, gore and mayhem throughout the course of the 98 minutes that the movie ran for. And that certainly was good for a seasoned gorehound such as myself.
The production level in the movie was really good, and it was showing on the screen.
My rating of "Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey 2" lands on a five out of ten stars.
The Detonator (2006)
Quite enjoyable...
I do believe that I've seen this movie around somewhere before, I just never actually did sit down to watch it. But as the opportunity presented itself to do so in 2024, I decided to rectify that thing.
And while I wasn't really expecting a whole lot from this movie, I have to say that I was actually surprised with how entertaining and enjoyable the movie turned out to be. Writer Martin Wheeler churned out an enjoyable script for director Po-Chih Leong to bring to the screen. And if you enjoy action thrillers then "The Detonator" definitely is worth watching.
"The Detonator" is definitely one of the more enjoyable Wesley Snipes movies. He carried the movie quite nicely. And it was also nice to see William Hope on the screen.
There is a good amount of action sequences throughout the course of the 96 minutes that the movie ran for. And they most certainly helped to keep the movie at a brisk pace.
I was adequately entertained throughout the course of the movie.
My rating of director Po-Chih Leong's 2006 movie "The Detonator" lands on a six out of ten stars.
Ninja Zombie (1992)
Downright terrible...
Of course I wasn't really harboring the grandest of expectations to this 1992 movie. I mean, look at the title, that is more than enough to set the level of expectations. But still, since it was a movie that I had neither seen nor heard about, of course I opted to give it a chance.
And talk about a swing and a miss of a movie. I don't know what writer and director Mark Bessenger was thinking here. But it certainly wasn't really playing out all that well. I found the movie to be boring and pointless.
Needless to say that I wasn't familiar with a single actor or actress on the cast list. Though the acting performances in the movie were fair, when you take into consideration the dumpster fire of a script that they had to work with.
It looks like the movie was shot on a 1970s camera. The footage was grainy, out of focus and riddled with moving black spots. It was so annoying, and it just took away my desire to sit around and finish watching the movie. Which, I incidentally happened not to do, because I grew tired of the grainy footage.
My rating of "Ninja Zombie" lands on a one out of ten stars.
The Primevals (2023)
Quite good actually...
Needless to say that I had actually never heard about this 2023 movie titled "The Primevals" prior to sitting down to watch it. But I have to say that I actually found the movie's cover to be cheesy enough to catch my attention. And with it being a movie that I had never even heard about, of course I opted to sit down and watch it.
And with it being a Full Moon Features movie, I figured that chance would be that the movie wouldn't be a complete waste of time, as they regularly do put out something enjoyable and entertaining.
The storyline was actually fair, with some major nods towards the old classic adventures of the 1950s. I have to admit that I was actually enjoying "The Primevals". Writers David Allen and Randall William Cook put together something that proved to be entertaining and enjoyable, with elements of sci-fi and adventure mixed together.
I wasn't familiar with a single actor or actress on the cast list, which is something that I do actually enjoy when I sit down to watch a movie. It should be said, though, that the acting performances were fair.
The effects in the movie were fair, but keep in mind that the Yeti and the reptilian creatures are brought to life by stop-animation motion capture, so it looks somewhat out of place and awkward.
My rating of director David Allen's 2023 movie "The Primevals" lands on a six out of ten stars.
Abigail (2024)
Quite a nice surprise...
There were two reasons why I sat down to watch "Abigail"; first, it was a horror movie that I hadn't already seen, and second, it has Kevin Durand on the cast list.
Writers Stephen Shields and Guy Busick put together an enjoyable script and storyline. I like how the movie changes in pace and style, going from a heist and kidnapping to a full blown horror vampire movie. I really enjoyed the narrative that the writers concocted, because the story was definitely unique and interesting.
There was also a good sense of light comedy to the movie. The writers did a great job at implementing a bit of comedy into the movie, without it spilling over and becoming a horror comedy. So a little bit goes a long way, and they definitely pulled it off nicely here in the movie.
The cast ensemble in the movie was quite good, and they had some great talents on the cast list. With the likes of Kevin Durand, Melissa Barrera, Dan Stevens, William Catlett, Kathryn Newton and Giancarlo Esposito, then you definitely are in good company. Needless to say that the acting performances in the movie were good. I wasn't familiar with actress Alisha Weir, playing Abigail, but she really put on a great performance.
Visually then I was rather impressed with "Abigail". I wasn't expecting the movie to be as bloody, gory and visceral as it turned out to be.
This was a nice surprise of a movie, and it is definitely one that I would recommend for horror fans to sit down and watch.
My rating of directors Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett's 2024 horror movie "Abigail" lands on a seven out of ten stars.
The First Omen (2024)
Dull and disappointing...
I have to admit that I was definitely harboring some expectations to "The First Omen". And writers Tim Smith, Arkasha Stevenson, Keith Thomas and Ben Jacoby failed to live up to my expectations. The narrative that they conjured up was rather dull and mundane. There was simply way too much filler and inconsequential things in the narrative to make it run for nearly two hours. And without much of anything overly interesting happening, it was a bland and boring narrative that was somewhat difficult to sit through.
Something that impressed me about the movie was the cast ensemble. There were some pretty good actors on the cast list, with the likes of Charles Dance, Bill Nighy and Ralph Ineson. I wasn't familiar with leading actress Nell Tiger Free, but she did carry the movie quite well with her performance.
The whole 'being run over by a moving vehicle whilst delivering a dialogue crucial to the narrative' is running very thin and weak, and of course it was in this movie too.
There are some nice visual effects throughout the course of the movie, which definitely helps to lift up the otherwise bland narrative. I was especially impressed with the effects on the burnt revenant.
I wanted to like this movie, I really did. But it just was a bitter pill to swallow. And this is definitely not a movie that I will ever return to watch a second time.
My rating of director Arkasha Stevenson's 2024 movie "The First Omen" lands on a generous four out of ten stars.
Old Habits Die Hard (2009)
Oh, for the love of...
I happened to stumble upon the 2009 horror movie "Old Habits Die Hard" by random chance here in 2024. And seeing it was a horror movie with none other than horror icon Kane Hodder in the leading role, of course I had to sit down and watch the movie.
Sure, I had never heard about the movie, nor did I know about its existence. So I virtually didn't know what I was in for here. And in that regards, then writers Ben Dixon and Vaton Hadley had every opportunity to entertain and bedazzle me.
Howeever, writers Ben Dixon and Vaton Hadley put together a rather generic script. It was a rather monotonous paced narrative, and that made it all the more difficult to sit through the 93 minutes that the movie ran for. I have to say that I was by no means imrpressed or particularly entertained by this movie.
The acting performances are wooden at best. Needless to say that I sat down to watch "Old Habits Die Hard" because it had Kane Hodder on the cast list. But this movie was just a shameful notch in his belt. In fact, I wasn't familiar with anyone else on the cast list, not that I was particularly impressed with the acting performances I witnessed.
The way that the movie is filmed is amateurish and it looks more like a home video than an actual profession movie. And the constant blurring of the screen and distortion of colors just grows insanely tiresome very fast, and it becomes a nuissance that drags the movie further down.
There were a couple of gore scenes that were fair enough, but nothing that had a snowballs chance in Hell of redeeming the rest of the shortcomings that were the rest of the movie.
This movie was downright terrible. If you enjoy horror movies or have any respect for Kane Hodder, stay well clear of this stinker of a dumpster fire from director Ben Dixon.
My rating of "Old Habits Die Hard" lands on a generous two out of ten stars.
Ninja Terminator (1986)
Cheesy and enjoyable ninja flick...
I might have watchced "Ninja Terminator" back on VHS tape in the days when it was a new movie. I watched a lot of ninja movies in my youth. But I have to say that I couldn't remember the storyline in the movie, as I sat down to watch "Ninja erminator" here in 2024.
I can't say that I was expecting a whole lot, with this being a mid-1980s ninja movie and having a ninja in camouflaged ninja outfit on the cover. But of course I opted to watch it, for the sheer nostalgia of revisiting the glorious 1980s and the campy ninja movies from back then.
Writers Godfrey Ho and Warren See put together an insanely cheesy and archetypical mid-1980s storyline, riding on the success of the numerous ninja movies that were spewed forth in the mid-1980s. Actually, the storyline in "Ninja Terminator" is oddly enjoyable for what it was.
The acting performances in the movie were fair enough, taking into consideration the type of movie that it was. Needless to say that I wasn't familiar with a single actor or actress on the cast list. Though I do recall having seen Richard Harrison somewhere before.
There is a good amount of fight scenes and sequences throughout the course of the 88 minutes that the movie ran for. Some of them were actually quite good, whereas others were cheesy and just makes you laugh. So yeah, that was definitely making it well-worth sitting down to watch this 1986 ninja film.
There are so many things in "Ninja Terminator" tbat makes zero sense. For example, why are there pink ninjas? Just where would pink help you blend in with your surroundings? Why would you opt to move forward by somersaulting instead of running? Why do the Caucasian ninjas wear eyeliner? How can someone change from business attire into a ninja outfit in a split second? How are ninjas able to teleport? Why is there a villain wearing a golden blonde wig that makes He-Man's hair cringe? But most importantly, why were there ninjas in Hong Kong?
If you grew up and watching the glorious 1980s ninja movies, then director Godfrey Ho delivered quite an entertaining movie back in 1986.
Cheesy and campy? Check. Enjoyable? Check. Worth spending 88 minutes on watching? Check.
The ending of the movie is literally one of the most hilarious endings to a movie I have ever watched. And sitting through 88 minutes of "Ninja Terminator" in order to experience the ending is well worth the effort.
My rating of director Godfrey Ho's 1986 movie "Ninja Terminator" lands on a well-deserved six out of ten stars.
Tantiram (2023)
Meh...
I don't watch many Indian movies, so of course I was not familiar with this 2023 horror mystery titled "Tantiram" prior to sitting down to watch it. I happened to come across the movie by random chance, and actually found the synopsis to prove interesting enough.
However, writers Wineeth Ponnuru and M. S. Shabaz put together a script and storyline that turned out to be rather generic and predictable. And it was, in fact, not really a particularly scary movie at all. So that was a bit of a disappointment. Maybe if you are Indian and have an insight into the culture there, then the movie would be more enjoyable.
The acting performances in the movie were fair. Needless to say that I wasn't familiar with a single actor or actress on the cast list.
Visually then "Tantiram" didn't offer much, as it wasn't a movie that used a lot of special effects. In fact, you don't ever get to properly see the Djinn that is lurking in the shadows. And that was a shame, because the movie would have benefitted from that.
Not a great movie, nor a movie that I would recommend horror fans to rush out and get to watch. I can cross it off of my watched-movies-list now, and I know that I will never return to watch it a second time.
My rating of director Muthyala Meher Deepak's 2023 movie "Tantiram" lands on a three out of ten stars.
Die Hart: Die Harter (2024)
Watchable...
I have watched the 2023 movie "Die Hart", but not the TV series. In fact I didn't know that there was a series before I looked up the 2024 movie "Die Hart: Die Harter" here on IMDb. I did enjoy the 2023 movie, but I didn't even know that they were making a sequel. So when I stumbled upon "Die Hart: Die Harter" by random chance, of course I opted to watch it.
Writers Tripper Clancy and Derek Kolstad managed to come up with a fair enough script, though I have to say that it didn't have the appeal and entertainment value as the first movie. Sure, "Die Hart: Die Harter" was watchable enough for what it was, but it wasn't exactly an outstanding movie experience.
The acting performances in the movie were fair, and they certainly had a good enough cast ensemble to bring the story to life on the screen.
There were a fair amount of action sequences throughout the course of the movie, and they definitely helped to keep the movie afloat.
Sure, I was adequately entertained throughout the course of the 92 minutes that the movie ran for. But it is hardly a movie that I will return to watch a second time.
My rating of "Die Hart: Die Harter", from director Eric Appel, lands on a five out of ten stars.
The Hangman (2024)
Rather dull...
Right, well the movie's cover and title was enough to make me stop and take notice of this movie. Sure, I had never heard about this movie from director Bruce Wemple, so I didn't know what I was in for. But it being a horror movie that I hadn't already seen was more than sufficient to make me sit down and give it a go.
Writers Bruce Wemple and LeJon Woods put together a rather weak storyline that didn't prove neither overly entertaining nor scary. So sitting through 88 minutes of this movie was a bit of a struggle. I must admit that I had hoped for a bit more, given the movie's cover.
I wasn't familiar with the cast ensemble in the movie, but it should be said that while the storyline was rubbish, then the acting performances were actually fair.
Not a particularly great horror movie, nor a movie that will ever grace my screen a second time, because it was boring enough sitting through it the first time.
Visually then "The Hangman" didn't impress either. The movie made use of very little special effects. And as for the creature seen on the movie's cover, well don't get your hopes up, as it is hardly in the movie at all.
The movie's cover was actually the best part about the entire ordeal.
If you enjoy horror movies, I wouldn't recommend you to waste 88 minutes on watching this 2024 movie from director Bruce Wemple.
My rating of "The Hangman" lands on a very generous three out of ten stars.
Jukai Mura (2021)
Sluggish and uneventful...
When I stumbled upon the 2021 Japanese horror mystery titled "Jukai Mura" (aka "Suicide Forest Village") of course I had to watch it. Sure, I hadn't ever heard about the movie, but I am familiar with the phenomena of the 'suicide forest' in Japan and have seen other movies dealing with it. And given my love of both Asian cinema and horror cinema, of course I had to watch what director Takashi Shimizu had to deliver here.
The movie wasn't off to a good start with the video blogger style of footage. I can't take those self-absorbed people serious, and nor is that style of shooting a movie something that entertains me in any way. And not even 10 minutes into the movie I was good and ready to get up and turn off this laughable footage. But luckily the movie switched back to ordinary movie style around 10 minutes in.
But while the movie returned to normal movie style of shooting, then the narrative just was insanely slow paced and uneventful. I grew more and more bored and distant as the narrative progressed, because there simply wasn't anything interesting happening on the screen. It felt like I was watching a tirade of random scenes shot independently of one another and then pieced together to make a movie.
Of the entire cast ensemble, I was only familiar with actor Jun Kunimura. The acting performances in the movie were a bit bland, because the actors and actresses didn't really have anything solid to work with in terms of character gallery, dialogue or contents of the storyline.
For a Japanese horror movie then director Takashi Shimizu failed to deliver anything worthwhile or watchable with "Jukai Mura". And it most definitely is not a horror movie that I would recommend fans of the Japanese horror scene to rush out and get to watch. Nor is it a movie that I will ever return to watch a second time.
My rating of "Jukai Mura" lands on a generous three out of ten stars, and that is primarily because of the production value of the movie.
Exorcism: Haunted Child (2015)
Truly abysmal...
When I sat down to watch the 2015 horror movie "Exorcism: Haunted Child", I didn't realize that it was a Vietnamese movie. Not that it mattered, because I enjoy Asian movies. And the fact that it was an Asian horror movie was just all the better, as I also enjoy horror movies quite a lot.
However, this 2015 attempt at a horror movie from writer Anh Tu Hoang was seriously some of the worst horror movie experiences I have sat through in a long, long time. The storyline in the movie was so bland, sluggish and boring that I gave up after 44 minutes of staggering boredom. I just couldn't take anymore of the generic narrative, especially since there was nothing entertaining or scary to be found anywhere in the movie.
Well, I might be getting ahead of myself here, because the acting performances in the movie were scary. I have never seen such wooden, rigid and emotionless acting performances from so many people collectively at the same time. It was as if they deliberately had gone out of their way to cast actors and actresses without an ounce of acting talent in them. In fact, I would say that the movie could be watched just for that alone, because it is a spectacle that has to be seen and witnessed in order to believe. I kid you not, I have never seen such wooden acting performances before.
Needless to say that I wasn't familiar with the actors and actresses on the cast list. But then again, Vietnamese cinema is not one where I venture often.
If I have to say one good thing about this ordeal of a movie, then it was that production. They actually had a good enough production value throughout the course of the little more than half of the movie that I managed to suffer through.
Director Ba Vu Nguyen delivered a massive swing and a miss of a horror movie. But to be honest, then the writer didn't exactly provide much of anything worthwhile to work with.
If you enjoy Asian horror movies, like I do, then heed my warning and give this movie a wide berth. How the movie has managed to land a 5.2 rating on IMDb, at this very moment of me reviewing it, is simply beyond my comprehension.
My rating of this dumpster fire of a Vietnamese horror movie lands on a one out of ten stars.
10/31: Part 3 (2022)
Worse than the previous two movies...
While I wasn't particularly impressed with the 2017 "10/31" and the 2019 sequel "10/31: Part 2", then I still opted to sit down and watch the 2022 third movie, on the off-chance that it would be an improvement upon the previous two anthologies in the franchise.
I wasn't harboring much of any grand expectations or hopes though. But still, since I hadn't already seen "10/31: Part 3" before, then of course I opted to give the directors the benefit of the doubt.
First of all, I have to say that I really liked the movie's cover which was a cool tribute to the classic scary comic books from back in the day. I really liked that, and it was definitely a plus in my book.
The stories in this third anthology were even worse than in the previous two. So you're not in for anything grand here. I sort of blanked out and zoned out during the monotonous pacing of the anthology, and the individual segments just didn't deliver much of anything worthwhile watching.
Needless to say that I wasn't familiar with the cast ensemble in the movie. But I will say, that while the stories were bland, then some of the acting performances were actually fair enough.
Visually then "10/31: Part 3" was okay. I mean, it wasn't top of the line special effects, for sure. But the effects served their purposes well enough.
"10/31: Part 3" was the weakest of the three movies in the franchise so far. And not really worth spending 75 minutes on watching. I managed to suffer through it, but if you were to ask me tomorrow what the stories were about, I could maybe relay one of them or so. A very, very forgettable anthology.
The movie's "Creepshow" inspired cover was the best part about the ordeal.
My rating of "10/31: Part 3" lands on a three out of ten stars.
10/31 (2017)
Watchable, but nothing grand...
Now, I've actually watched the 2019 movie "10/31 Part 2" prior to having a chance to watch the 2017 movie "10/31". And while I wasn't overly impressed with part two, I must admit that I wasn't really harboring much of any grand expectations to this predecessor from directors Brett DeJager, Rocky Gray, Zane Hershberger, John William Holt, Hunter Johnson and Justin M. Seaman. But with it being a horror movie, although an anthology nonetheless, I opted to sit down and watch it, as I had the opportunity to do so.
The first segment is titled "The Old Hag" and it is written and directed by Justin M. Seaman. It was a nicely written story, although a bit cliché and generic. But it was actually entertaining enough, despite this. The acting performances in the segment were good. The effects were good as well, adding to the overall creep factor of the storyline. This was actually the best thing about the entire anthology. Though the ending was rather unnecessarily stupid.
Zane Hershberger wrote and directed the second segment, which is titled "Trespassers". The storyline in this segment as fairly weak, and it was a slow paced narrative, and that just didn't help to improve the overall impression of this second segment. The effects, however, were fairly okay. The music was also quite okay in this segment, as there was a distinct 1980s vibe to it.
"Killing The Dance" is the title of the third segment, and it is written by Jason Turner and directed by John William Holt. The storyline in this segment was not particularly good. I love how quickly the blood coagulated on the first woman being cut with a razor at the skating rink, that was just a pretty poorly done effect. The music in this segment was just unfathomably annoying to listen to, and it went on non-stop.
The fourth segment is "Halloween Blizzard of '91", which was written and directed by Brett DeJager. It was the most pointless of the segments, especially since there wasn't really a thoroughly written script to support it. It looked and felt like something that writer and director Brett DeJager just shot on the fly.
The fifth and last segment is "'The Samhain Slasher" from writer and director Rocky Gray. This segment was okay. I mean, it was a pretty straightforward narrative, although somewhat on the weak side in terms of a thoroughly written storyline.
And the tie-in segment that presented the segments and tied them together was "Malvolia's Halloween Monster Marathon", from writers Rocky Gray and Zane Hershberger, and directed by Hunter Johnson. It wasn't a particularly great concept, but luckily we didn't have to endure much of it, as it was just in the beginning and end of the anthology.
Watchable for what it was, but you're not in for anything grand here. It is not like the writers conjured up a Halloween classic here. And I doubt that I will ever return to watch "31/10" a second time, as it was about as entertaining and enjoyable as the "31/10 Part II" sequel was.
My rating of "31/10" lands on a four out of ten stars.
Crocodylus: Mating Season (2023)
Nah...
Needless to say that I had never actually heard about this 2023 horror comedy titled "Crocodylus: Mating Season" prior to stumbling upon it by random chance here in 2024. However, I have to say that the movie's cover was actually interesting enough, plus it being a horror comedy that I hadn't already seen, then of course I opted to sit down and watch what writer and director Stanley Pomianowski had to offer.
I can't claim that I was impressed with what writer and director Stanley Pomianowski delivered, much less were I actually entertained throughout the course of the movie. And it was quite a struggle to sit through 85 minutes that the movie ran for. But I endured, hoping the movie would pick up and become better as it crept along. That just didn't happen.
Of course I wasn't familiar with a single actor or actress on the cast list in "Crocodylus: Mating Season". But I will say that the acting performances were actually good, despite the level of rubbish that the movie turned out to be.
The special effects in "Crocodylus: Mating Season" were exactly that; special. Especially the insanely fake toy cat at the kitchen table with the bottle. Not to mention the crocodylus itself, which was nothing more than a man in an ultra fake creature suit.
This movie was bad, so very, very bad. But it wasn't bad enough to actually be a fun movie to sit through.
The movie's cover was actually the best thing about the entire ordeal.
My rating of the dumpster fire that is "Crocodylus: Mating Season" lands on a generous two out of ten stars.
Blood Honey (2017)
Not my cup of tea...
It was the movie's cover that initially lured me into picking up the 2017 movie "Blood Honey". And seeing that it was a horror movie of sorts, that I hadn't already seen, much less actually heard about, of course I opted to give the movie a chance. So writers Jeff Kopas and Doug Taylor had every opportunity to entertain and impress me.
The narrative in the movie was a bit of a swing and a miss in terms of properly entertaining me. Now, I am not saying that it was a badly written story or anything, but the narrative was simply too slow paced and devoid of anything thrilling or interesting to entertain me. And that made sitting through 95 minutes of watching the movie somewhat of an ordeal.
The acting performances in the movie were good. I wasn't familiar with the cast ensemble, except for Gil Bellows.
I wasn't particularly impressed with this movie, because it was simply too dull and mundane for my liking. There wasn't enough drive to the narrative. But I am sure that there is an audience out there for a movie such as "Blood Honey", because it definitely wasn't a bad movie.
And the ending of the movie was an absolute dumpster fire of a joke. It was so ridiculous.
My rating of director Jeff Kopas's 2017 movie "Blood Honey" lands on a four out of ten stars.