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Numb3rs: Thirty-Six Hours (2008)
Hollywood Dreck
I stayed up late to watch this mess on H&I, but sorry I wasted the time.
A train dispatcher certainly uses a computer to line a route for a train, but there are interlocks to prevent exactly what is depicted in this episode. It's automated, so the second train would not have gotten a signal to proceed until the first train had cleared. (At slow times the dispatcher could line a route for miles and take a nap and there would be no danger.)
But this show didn't even give a nod to reality because there were no signals, they just had the engineers screaming at each other on the radio to get out of the way. Yeah, sure buddy! If they hadn't died, they surely would've been fired immediately. I can not suspend my disbelief for that nonsense.
Then Charlie shows up with his swarmbots which can magically climb over metal lattices, random debris, and other unknowns inside a rail coach despite being only about 6-8 inches long. But where in the world did all that clutter come from? It's a hollow metal tube with seats. It's not stuffed full of all that garbage that they showed.
I didn't pay much attention to the drama fabricated by these overly smart whiz kids, but I did wonder why they didn't just break out their industrial strength Sawzall and cut a hole in the passenger coach next to the victims? I mean, if they can go dashing into a HazMat hot zone without the IC noticing (what unified command??) and without breathing apparatus, I guess there's really no danger of explosion after all.
Bleh, what waste of electrons and an hour of my life that I'll never get back.
The Time Traveler's Wife: Episode #1.2 (2022)
Slow build up to dramatic climax, but still questions
This episode definitely cranked up the drama, so watch it all the way through in one sitting with no distractions nor interruptions. Very moving.
I'm such a nerd that I find myself still asking constant questions about causality in this story. If he's powerless to change anything, then what's the point? Or is that the point of the author?
I wasn't at all upset at the brief scene between himself at 16 and himself at 16, I just can't figure out how it could've occurred. He doesn't control when or how far it time he travels, so how could he be in the same place and time as his very self? Or are there infinite versions of him for every second since he was born?
I'll suspend disbelief enough to allow him at 28 to pop back to when he was 6 to give guidance (which he shouldn't need to give since it will turn out the same anyway, right?) but how does he end up in bed with himself? Does he just turn back the clock 15 minutes?
I just spend so much time trying to figure out which version is "when, when" that it detracts from the storyline. I mean, it is entitled The Time Traveler's WIFE after all.
I found it curious that one reviewer posted only to show disgust at the character enjoying himself, but said nothing at all about blood being very graphically splattered across a window--repeatedly. I got the message the first time, thank you very much!
Hawaii Five-O: King of the Hill (1969)
Alonzo Moseley Takes a Hostage
The longer this episode dragged on, the more I just wanted it to be over.
Danny Williams is no dummy, plus the TV reporter listed the detective's background as including schooling in psychology. So why O WHY didn't Danny figure it out early on and play along with the delusional Lance Corporal and tell him that those voices down the hall were indeed corpsmen trying to help them?
And the uniformed officer allowing the Marine to take not only his weapon, but also his belt loaded with ammo? I don't buy it. But without that, the whole episode would've been over before it started (not that I would complain about that outcome).
I realize that the actors can only work with the material they were given and Yaphet Kotto sure ate up the scenery, but I was hoping for something a little more believable.
In summary, you should instead watch Midnight Run. Thank you.
Schitt$ Creek (2015)
Fold In the Cheese
Catherine O'Hara is a gift for the ages.
Just when you think the characters are limiting themselves they break out of that mold and show a bit of growth.
The show is categorized as a comedy, but it has heart and wit which is what makes it a winner.
Perry Mason: The Case of the Caretaker's Cat (1959)
Completely Ridiculous
The best idea this cranky old man could come up with to fake his own death was to burn down his house?!
When the story starts out with such an improbable plot device I refuse to take it seriously.
Perry Mason: The Case of the Final Fade-Out (1966)
Dogs Eating Dogs
Hollywood certainly is a dog-eat-dog world, but that's exactly why Barry shouldn't have been so smug.
In reality Sidemark would have simply found somebody else to fill the role, star or no, or just written him off the show. Even if ratings tanked, it still beats just walking away from the mess and taking a big loss. Now *THAT* would be how the Hollywood machine handles this.
Perry Mason: The Case of the Midnight Howler (1966)
Quik-Call Box
The best part of this show was the Motorola T1251B Quik-Call encoder in the radio station control room. It would've had no practical application in a broadcast station, but I guess the director figured it would look high-tech in 1965.
Perry Mason: The Case of the Scandalous Sculptor (1964)
Another Waste of Electrons
The Case of the Scandalous Sculptor is a collection of what had to be the most idiotic characters ever assembled on this show. People flying off the handle, making increasingly poor life choices, unwilling to listen to sage advice. I was hoping they all went off a cliff in a bus together to bring a merciful end to my suffering.
The only reason I hung on watching this dreck was to see June Lockhart since MeTV touted this as the Big Perry Mason Episode of the Week. In for a penny, in for a pound at that point.
Perry Mason: The Case of the Arrogant Arsonist (1964)
Gertie is Betty Boop
Gertie is over-acted by Ms. Cezon so she should just be that mythical voice on the other end of those intercom calls that Perry and Della get.
I took particular interest in this episode due to the topics of fire buffs and "ham radio", but I agree that former Fire Chief York was way over the top. I guess they felt they had to play him that way to make the viewer believe that he was off his rocker enough to set fire to his own warehouse. But then they went overboard with the extra-judicial character testimony from his fellow fire fighters about what a Great Guy he was. I'm sorry, but guys who warrant that kind of support typically don't act like spoiled brats when confronted with false accusations.
And I must commend Perry and Co. on having the foresight to position the fire boat just where they would need it to be to hose down the fleeing villain. I mean, what are the chances??!!
But the show typically gives clues as to the real villain, in this case the side-eye that the other warehouse guy, Walker, gave when certain topics were mentioned in his presence.
tl;dr I started out interested and hopeful, but those qualities steadily waned as the episode wore on.
Perry Mason: The Case of the Accosted Accountant (1964)
Clusters of Murder Suspects
Seems like everybody and his cousin cluster around the dead body, some hiding to witness the murder, some trying to steal something within seconds of the murder, some stumbling across the murder scene and then touching everything in sight to ensure that their fingerprints make them the prime suspect. They're like moths to the flame, lemmings over a cliff, they just can't resist the urge to be in the same place in the same short stretch of time with all the others. It's uncanny.
Perry Mason: The Case of the Wednesday Woman (1964)
Bizarre Denouement
Perry thoroughly explained in court his deduction of how the murder actually took place. But the show ended with him taking Phillip and Katherine onto the elevator for a practical demonstration.
Then the doors open on the 9th floor and THERE STANDS MRS. REED who we had just seen confess to the murder. Were we hallucinating? Was that a TV trick to represent what Mallory would've seen as the doors opened? Was this scene intended to be shown just prior to the courtroom confession?
I was good with this episode up to that point, but this denouement just left me puzzled. I guess they had 2 minutes to fill.
Perry Mason: The Case of the Bouncing Boomerang (1963)
Overcomplicated
The perfect insurance swindle? Sure! I've often stayed up late at night thinking of how I could locate someone who had dental work done, then discover that he had a huge life insurance policy, then find someone to get identical teeth pulled in order to--AYFKM??!!
WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY too many coincidences and pieces to fall perfectly into place for this to happen at all, let alone be the "perfect" swindle. Maybe that's why it fell apart.
I saw right through Barclift's over-the-top schmooze act, but if you're as gullible as Grover I guess you'd buy anything, including 1,000 acres of worthless land. Mind you, Alan Hale did a respectable acting job, it was just so obviously a setup.
I mainly watch Perry Mason these days to recognize actors that I would later see in other shows. This one featured Col. Fellini from "Tomorrow is Yesterday" and the Skipper from Gilligan's Island.
Outer Banks (2020)
Waste of Electrons
Achingly gorgeous actors in a vapid attempt at...something.
Community: Comparative Religion (2009)
Rusty and Clark Griswold together again
I didn't recognize him all growed up, but when the credits rolled I had to check on here that, indeed, Anthony Michael Hall and his exhausting 3 names played the school bully, reuniting him with Chevy Chase who played his dad in the Vacation movies. That is all.
Columbo: Mind Over Mayhem (1974)
Shot Full of Holes But Enjoyable Cast
José Ferrer has the physical presence and euphonious voice that make him a worthy foil for our favorite homicide detective.
I love Jessica Walter tons so it was enjoyable to see her long before Archer and Arrested Development. She turned in a credible performance, although I agree that she did not emote much sadness over her husband's death; perhaps this was deliberate to feed into the suspicion that she was indeed fooling around with the younger Cahill?
I could've done without the boy genius and the robot, but that did not distract me from enjoying this episode. I found the dog annoying.
I, too, was puzzled by some of the scene-setting done by the murderer since it was easily brushed aside by Columbo, leaving the viewer to wonder why it was put in the plot in the first place.
Archer: Archer: 1999 -- Robert De Niro (2019)
Nonsensical craziness
You can't make sense of this season finale (which gave me series finale vibes). There's just a ton of nonsense thrown in here that makes you laugh and also go "HUH??"
I really wish we would've gotten some closure on Cubert, that looked like a neat little plot device, unless Archer's hallucinations were an extension of that.
Per the subtitles (on Hulu) the episode title is taken from the song "Robert de Niro" by Queen Sarah Saturday, which plays during the flashback montage near the end. I kept waiting for an appearance or voiceover by Robert de Niro, but noooooooope!
Columbo: The Most Dangerous Match (1973)
Watergate?
A number of reviews point out how the Fischer-Spassky chess match was fresh in the minds of Americans just before this episode aired.
But I found it curious that this episode must have been in production around the same time as the Watergate scandal was just beginning to come to light. Clayton tapes open the bolt of the hotel door lock so that he may enter just after the maid exits, not once, but twice!
I wonder who had the idea first? The writer or all the President's men??
Perry Mason: The Case of the Meddling Medium (1961)
Skip this one
This episode falls into the same category as do the many TV shows later in the 1960s dealing with U.F.O. sightings: just unbelievable. Save yourself an hour and skip this one.
Hawaii Five-0: Lele pu na manu like (2018)
Weak Thanksgiving episode
Too much time spent on the improbable sibling rivalry between Grover and Percy trying to kill each other over Thanksgiving dinner. I guess the extended feel-good wrap-up at the end benefits the Thanksgiving spirit, but the whole thing just seemed so forced and unnecessary.
Oh, and the Big Crime was stealing a valuable baseball card out of a rich guy's safe after it crushed another thief falling down the stairs. OK, that's figured out, let's go eat turkey! I left hungry.
And that HAD to be Louis Gossett, Jr. despite what my friend said.
Route 66: Incident on a Bridge (1961)
Forbidden love with a mystery
A troubling tale of love between an ostracized man and an oppressed girl, with an extra helping of jealousy from her would-be fiancé.
Anna's father rules his household with an iron fist allowing her only the escape of her music for one hour each day as she performs monotonous chores around the family boarding house in Cleveland. Dvorovoi can't stand the way her betrothed, Orlov, treats her with a violent controlling manner similar to her father's so they fight an impassioned battle over her. Buz and Tod open her eyes with a rare showing of kindness at just the right time for her not-so-secret admirer to open his heart and win her over. This pits her gloomy upbringing against the ray of hope to be happy with a man with a price on his head. The open-ended conclusion leaves the viewer to imagine their fate.
Shot at the double-track New York Central railroad drawbridge over the Cuyahoga River just down the tracks from "The Mistake By The Lake", this episode of Route 66 provides a time capsule for railfans. A couple NYC F-units pull a train over the bridge during the climactic getaway scene near the end.
Tron: Legacy (2010)
visually spectacular, take it for what it is
Last year, when G4 network was still carried by DirecTV, I watched the original Tron movie several times during their marathon of it. I took it for what it was, a movie pushing the envelope of graphics in the early 1980s. The story was predictable: save the (digital) world, win the girl. Plus, I got to see Bruce Boxleitner 10 years before he took command of Babylon 5.
I took the opportunity to watch Tron: Legacy at the IMAX 3D theater since it seemed like the thing to do.
Sound - My ears are still bleeding from the incessant indistinct rumbling blasting forth throughout most of the movie. It more resembled generalized noise than useful auditory information; too much of a good thing. The rare moments of silence were precious--it's not necessary to keep the VU meter pumping full time like a radio station. Silence, like negative space, can be used to good effect. The music was OK, but I wouldn't know Daft Punk from The Eurythmics.
Visuals - I got to the theater too late so wound up sitting in the front row (right next to Bob Uecker). I had to hold my head just so in order to get decent 3D imaging, plus it distorted my overall view of the huge screen. Still, the 3D effects worked where they used them. The trouble comes from the fact that The Grid is a totally fabricated world, which means that there are no real reference points that aid depth perception. This made some of the battle game scenes difficult to figure out who got hit and who was still standing, aside from the colors of their "uniforms". The ADHD editing style that pervades television and movies these days demands rapid-fire action, but it would be nice to impart some understanding of the action to the viewer. We'd like to follow the story, too, you know.
Story - boy saves dad, wins the girl, but dad ends up sacrificing himself to save the boy. I took it for what it was and am not analyzing it. I agree with a number of posts on the comment board that point out plot holes and things which can't even pass suspension of disbelief. I'll leave it at that.
Old/new - There was a certain quaintness about the original Tron viewed through the prism of 28 years and all the technological changes that have been wrought in that time. Perhaps I expected more out of a modern version of Tron than I got. I prefer the visuals of the new movie, but the story and acting of the old one.
Overall, I enjoyed the new movie well enough, but I would happily trade a good percentage of over-the-top special effects for better story telling. It's a mainstream movie, so I set my expectations accordingly and they were pretty much met.
Eating Out 2: Sloppy Seconds (2006)
Watch after the credits
This movie was better than I expected, given the harsh but unsubstantiated reviews here.
The acting and dialogue were better than I expected from such a low-budget, quick shoot. The script was so-so, but I accept that. I don't need to be taught lessons, just have the story be interesting and coherent. Perhaps they could have taken a page out of Strangers With Candy and been blunt about the lessons they learned; perhaps even learned the wrong lessons?
Contrary to most, I thought Marco Dapper delivered an acceptable, but not great, performance. He was definitely cast in this movie for his looks.
I thought Brett Chukerman really mastered the role of confident guy on the prowl for his next conquest as he teased Troy while changing for art class in the restroom. Andrew Ley's brief appearance in the opening scene really impressed me as well.
The stereotypical flaming art instructor was a throw-away role, nothing to get upset over. Emily Brooke Hands was fairly convincing as being interested in her art. Rebekah Kochan fared better than I thought she might in the role of the self-proclaimed slut. A good cast, for what this movie was.
As for those who think this flick gives the so-called "gay community" a bad name, not to worry: the gay community determines how it is perceived all by itself. I don't see people bashing the "straight community" because married men cheat on their wives left and right. Men like sex, whatever their persuasion. This movie presents the lengths to which some might go to get it.
Speaking of which...if you watch this in the theater, be sure to stay all the way to end after the final credits roll. There is a gratuitous titillating surprise for you, although you might have trouble standing up when the lights pop up.
Kung fu (2004)
Refreshingly enjoyable in all respects
Good acting, good special effects, non-stop story.
I caught this movie by chance last night on Encore channel. At first, I was rolling my eyes thinking that it would be yet another tired, overwrought martial arts story wherein some guy doesn't want to use his abilities until his love interest is captured by the bad guys, blah, blah, blah.
Happily, I was surprised with a masterpiece that parodies the ridiculously impossible fight sequences so common these days, and does so without taking itself seriously. Instead of a love interest causing conflict, it is a more realistic setting of a group of people resisting gangster strong-arm tactics, something that rings true in many places.
Although not a pure comedy, you will chuckle and guffaw through much of this film. I highly recommend it!
North Shore (1987)
Improbable
This movie is highly improbable. Read the other reviews to see why.
I would say that most of the characters were plastic, but they didn't even afford themselves that little luxury; they just act like cardboard cutouts. Of course, they had to get real surfers for the surfing contest roles, so that's a crap shoot whether they can act. At least Occy didn't give a crap and just went with it. But "Lance"??? Fuhgeddaboutit.
The one character who rang true was portrayed by Gerry Lopez who didn't really act, he was himself pretty much. He's quite accustomed to stomping people. :-) The only reason I gave this movie a 2 instead of a 1 was because I was laying out a newsletter on my laptop when it came on some cable channel late one night. That saved me from having to pay full attention to this silly little time waster. No way I would go out of my way to watch it.