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Reviews
Stealth (2005)
Oh, no ... please, just no!
Dr Keith ORBIT??? SERIOUSLY??? As others have written, this is a bunch of cliches cobbled together around an over-loud soundtrack and self-indulgent CGI effects that are far too glitzy, far too fast and far too unnecessary to the plot. Then we come to the terrible acting, the completely predictable plot (well, it would be - it was lifted straight out of Top Gun and every film ever made about misbehaving computers ...) and the huge plot holes and totally impossible situations. Result: a mega-turkey. Some films are so bad they are funny. This one is so bad it is just dreadful. I managed 20 minutes, and only because I am an ornery so-and-so and had a cup of coffee to finish before returning to my day job.
Cat & Mouse (1958)
Good grief
No acting to speak of, soporific directing, dialogue-by-numbers, poor Victor Maddern looks ridiculous as the CID man with the obligatory trench coat and pipe.
Marilyn (1953)
So bad it's not even funny
Dreadful beyond comprehension. Sandra Dorne can barely act, Vida Hope can't act at all, and the often excellent (if usually typecast) Ferdie Mayne has been given terrible lines to work with. Leslie Dwyer is reliable as always, in possibly his nastiest part ever. The cinematography is muddy, and the editing clunky. The ending is meaningless. The only bright spot is the hilarious poster, which bears zero relationship to the plot.
The Long Goodbye (1973)
Yet another unnecessary travesty
Not, in this case, a remake, just a smug, self-indulgent turkey (why has nobody ever done this properly? Powell and Trevor could have walked this best of all Chandler novels). Gould has the noir charisma of a paperclip, albeit a chain-smoking one - which does not make him remotely macho, whatever the scriptwriter and director may have imagined.
Instead of coming up with an original idea suitable for their style, and for the 1970s, they just had to mess with a masterpiece which is way out of their class.
Farewell, My Lovely (1975)
Another unnecessary travesty
Yet another unnecessary remake and painful travesty from people who can't come up with an original idea so they rehash a classic and turn a Rolls Royce into a Trabant.
There are a couple of good actors here, but they are in the wrong film. The Mitchum of Angel Face and Build my Gallows High is asked to be a substitute Powell, and it simply doesn't work. And nobody can compete with Trevor and Mazurky, so why bother to try?
It's telling that the director only managed 7 films, most of them totally forgettable. An advertising whizkid he may be, but a film noir director he isn't.
Deadly Nightshade (1953)
Plodding waste of a good idea
This could have been an excellent film given a better director and a leading man with charisma and acting ability. Emrys Jones in the double role has neither, and is completely unconvincing. Zena Marshall is reasonably decorative and her acting is better than Jones' wooden offering, for what it's worth. Joan Hickson, as usual, steals every scene with consummate ease, but her talents are wasted in a minor role. The editing is haphazard, with unexplained gaps and a ridiculous end to the fight scene, where even the cliched 'accident' is badly botched. Oh, dear. What a shame.