mantasj09 Reviews

Sharknado (2013 TV Movie)

Title says it all

[4/10 · 17 February 2021]

As far as bad films go, 'Sharknado' is hard to 'outclass'. It has all the attributes of an utterly terrible film: atrocious acting, incredibly silly dialogues, horrible editing, Adobe-Photoshop quality special effects and above all - the main premise, which is so brain-damagingly stupid that one just have to consider that the film was intentionally created that bad as the authors just accepted the fact that with a very limited budget at their disposal it will be impossible to create anything decent and went all out in a ridiculous-bordering-insane front.

Since its creation, the film gained sort of a cult following and spawned quite a few, equally incredible (I would assume, as I'm not planning to watch these) sequels. If you're in right mood and have watched all the decent comedies, then 'Sharknado' is definitely worth a check. It has a certain entertainment value which is hard to match.

The Mercenary (2019)

Decent

[6/10 · 12 February 2021]

I have to admit, even among a low budget direct-to-video action film output, 'The Mercenary' looks rather cheap. Extremely basic settings and decorations spurs the feeling that all the scenes were filmed in one single set (even, though the characters supposedly visit different continents throughout the film). Narrowly framed shots make you feel like the operator was afraid some random props might just be captured with wider camera angles and this impression only emphasizes almost palpable shortage of filming funds.

Disregarding all of that, the film is engaging and delivers decent action scenes. Mostly due to solid, even though somewhat minimalistic performance by Mr Vandenberg. He has a strong screen presence, similar to Charles Bronson back in 70s, and doesn't have to do much to look intense or intimidating. Even though the story is quite basic and, in different variations, was tried in various films and even computer games, it is still engaging and, coloured with decent fighting sequences (by direct-to-video standards, obviously) and captivating score, consisting of a single flute tune, delivers a decent spectacle.

The whole film feels solidly put together and this is what you'd expect from Jesse V Johson as a director. It seems he's an expert when it comes to squeezing out everything that is possible out of limited budgets he usually has to work with. Even though this is an inferior product compared to his recent outputs with Scott Adkins ('Avengement', for example, pops into mind), the film is still worth a check for any action fan.

Breaking Surface (2020)

Just Brilliant

[9/10 · 7 February 2021]

It's a little hidden gem of Scandinavian cinema which is just mesmerizingly good. The film is part sister relationship drama; part survival thriller and it works perfectly well on both fronts. You have just enough background information to care for both protagonists perfectly understanding their character differences and strain of their relationship. And when the thrills start, it never lets you down. I'm not an expert diver and cannot really judge the authenticity of the diving sequences and the validity of the challenges faced by the sisters, but that's really not that important. The diving accident can be easily perceived as a metaphor for any extreme life situation which just hits you out of nowhere when you're least prepared to deal with it. But you have to, there's no way around and there's no help, and the life of the loved one depends on you. So what you gonna do?

After watching numerous Hollywood films we've learned to expect that a hero of a story can solve problems almost before they actually happen; always have a clever trick up his (or her, but mostly his...) sleeve and remains evenly tempered, completely rational and almost supernaturally logical in the most extreme situations. Well... the problem is that people just don't behave like that in real life. I just loved the fact that the main heroine was acting like a real person would act when she ends up in an extreme situation where all mundane life experiences are just inadequate. She panics, does stupid mistakes, gets hysterical and loses hope for a moment (everything amazingly portrait by the main actress) but keeps going. As a typical city dweller with limited diving experience, she clearly got more than she could handle but she just did whatever she could, following advices of her clearly more daredevil sister, doing mistakes and improvising as best as she could. Haunted by her past, she just couldn't allow to be inadequate again.

In additional to amazing acting by both leads, the film has hauntingly beautiful cinematography and music score. It's a really touching surviving drama thriller, which even though delivers enough thrills, is really more about relationship dynamics between two sisters than anything else.

Samurai Cop (1991)

Art Transcending, Awe Inspiring Masterpiece

[5/10 · 7 February 2021]

There are good films and there are bad films; and then there are bad films so bad they are actually good... and then there is 'Samurai Cop'. A film in a class of its own, standing tall like a giant, so high above other trashy cinema masterpieces that a regular movie watcher brain cannot even process all the nonsensical visual drivel he has just seen. The quality of this 'masterpiece' surpasses any expectations you might have about cheap-piece-of-juck-90s-'action'-nonsence and enters the realm of surreal. The fact that someone actually bothered to piece together this absurdity into a feature-length film is just mind blowing.

Words might fail while trying to adequately describe this phantasmagorical piece of cinematic perfection. You could write a lengthy article criticizing a terrible acting, editing or utterly ridiculous dialogues. Or the fact that the story is so much saturated with every cliche of 90s action cinema that it cannot be considered as an independent script but rather as an amalgamation of a dozen scrips borrowed from other films. Severe objectification of women and excessive voyeuristic nudity serving no purpose whatsoever might just leave you entirely speechless. And lets not dwell too much on the fact that the main character, supposedly expert in Japanese martial arts, couldn't even throw a decent round house kick, while ridiculous hand gestures he performs during various fights, make American Ninja look like a documentary quality depiction of Ninjutsu. Shot inconsistency, the main character switching from a wig to a real haircut multiple times throughout the film is just an icing on a cake.

Somehow all the critique you could master up about 'Samurai Cop' doesn't seem to make it justice. The overall result is so much worse than the sum of its negative parts that your brains just cannot rationally explain or perceive it. One thing couldn't be denied though, the film is entertaining as hell. And that's, after all, the main point of action cinema - to entertain. In that regard 'Samurai Cop' is truly a film in the class of its own.

Jiu Jitsu (2020)

Amazing Fights!

[6/10 · 5 February 2021]

The film is a weird combination between Predator and Mortal Combat with amazing fight sequences and the overall production quality way higher than your typical Martial Arts flick. However, it still feels like the crew was working on a tight schedule because most of the acting scenes could have benefitted from a few additional takes. Or maybe the actors just found it difficult to get into their characters when the film script didn't make any sense.

Alain Moussi - an amazing martial arts performer, second only to Scott Adkins among current English speaking 360-jump-spinning-hook-kicks throwing action stars, looks really lost here. I mean it's not just that his character is confused as he cannot remember where he came from, Alain himself looks utterly confused about how did he end up on a film set and what should he be doing there. That's a shame, because he did quite a decent job in Kickboxer series reboot but is completely overshadowed by pretty much all the supporting staff as an actor. And it's not like other performances are Oscar worthy - I mean when current days Nicolas Cage stands out as a superior actor, you know, how terrible others should be. The fact that Alain delivers only like five full sentences throughout the whole film doesn't help to build up his character as well.

To say that the film lacks a decent plot would be an understatement. 1987 Predator feels like a Shakespearean drama compared to this one. None of the main characters' actions make any sense and the whole story is so similar to Predator and Mortal Combat that it's difficult to consider this as a separate movie and not a kind of cross-sequel-spin-off of both original franchises.

But disregarding all that, the film provides a decent entertainment due to amazing fight scenes. Quite surprisingly, the best fight scenes are crammed up in the first 30 min of the film but they're so good that they make up for the non-existing plot and pedestrian acting. In terms of fight sequences, this is probably one of the best American-made martial arts films in the last decade. But once again, unless Mr Adkins is pulling off his Boyka magic or John Wick goes on a wild killing spree, there's not much of a competition. To sum up, the film is definitely worth to check for any hard-core Martial Arts film fans but any person looking for a comprehensive story and interesting, believably acted characters might be disappointed.