icaptainchaos Reviews

Don't F**k with Cats: Hunting an Internet Killer (2019)

Hmmmm - So many contradictions

[8/10 · 21 January 2025]

I saw this first time when it first came out & watched it without much opinion.

Watched it again recently, and thought of a couple of things I don't think anybody has brought up.

Yeah the internet "sleuths" were possibly complicit in his actions. No, the viewers aren't complicit - they didn't join in when all of this was going on.

His mother is beyond delusional.

Who has proved that the extra hands in one of the videos was the owner of the snake?

The male "sleuth"? I nearly punched a hole in my TV when he got to the 300th "Holy S***!!!" exclamation.

Aaaand finally - how the HELL did he manage to travel internationally when his name was on Interpols Most Wanted list? I don't think that was brought up at all.

Deep Undercover (II) (2016– )

Short Episodes, fortunately!

[6/10 · 12 December 2024]

Very repetitive, so luckily the episodes are fairly short, although it means that the repetitive stuff is, erm, repeated quicker.

I was getting bored with the endless "I'm the real Donnie Brasco but I've got stories to tell...." at the start of EVERY one of the 50 episodes.

Interesting stories, average re-enactments, repetition forever!

It was obviously shorter sections slipped together to make each episode and you start the next section with the undercover agents name over & over again. Yes I KNOW HIS NAME JUST GET ON WITH IT hahahaha

Worth a watch once.

Only once.

The undercover agents do risk a lot, so fair play to them for taking down various bad guys/companies/gangs etc.

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (1968)

The Child Catcher ....

[9/10 · 18 November 2022]

I was 4 when this came out & every single time my Mum took me to see it, I had weeks of nightmares thanks to the superb acting/appearance of The Child Catcher (brilliantly done by Robert Helpmann).

I now realise that the only reason I was taken to see it so many times was solely because my Mum was really into ballet & Mr. Helpmann was pretty good at that, apparently!

I can now appreciate how greatly evil the Child Catcher was (and still is), although in the way the world is nowadays, he would probably not be allowed to portray such a character tempting kids with sweets to kidnap them!

The whole film is a lovely family adventure and I still grab it off my DVD shelves to watch & get taken back to the late 60s, but now without the nightmares and screaming hahahaha.

Pollyanna (1960)

The Drummer! THE DRUMMER!!!

[9/10 · 26 June 2021]

I saw this a lot of years ago & the ONE thing I remember above all is else the drummer at the Bazaar ....

She was such a character, totally nuts & smiling constantly - what else do you need?

Great film other than that, too, I have to say.

But the Drummer is the best!

Crime Scene: The Vanishing at the Cecil Hotel (2021)

Poor girl .....

[6/10 · 21 February 2021]

May she rest in peace, poor thing.

I am amazed that with all of the utterly ridiculous "conspiracy" theories flying about by the useless online sleuths the fact that she was actually abducted by aliens wasn't even mentioned!

Maybe they were involved, but I missed it when I zoned out as the theories got more & more ridiculous.

I feel very sorry for Elisa (and her family) & quite sorry for Morbid, wrongly accused and blitzed with abuse by the online warriors.

Interesting programme, but could have been shrunk to stop the total guessing by people who really don't have a clue what they're talking about.

The Land That Time Forgot (1974)

Great Memory of 70s Action With Dinosaurs!

[8/10 · 22 October 2020]

I used to drag my mum to watch these films at the cinema when I was a young kid, all of the Centre Of The Earth, X That Time Forgot etc. etc. and this one, despite the clunky effects, pretty atrocious acting, and above all the whole "developed humans find a new land and shoot anyone that moves & kill any animal that lives there too".

Despite that, it's a fun film, and that is exactly what these films SHOULD be like.

Switch your brain off and enjoy!

Apollo 11 (I) (2019)

Astounding!

[10/10 · 21 January 2020]

I was 5 when the 3 astronauts set off & landed, so I was probably more interested in being a train driver or bus conductor and playing with my Meccano, so I don't really remember it.

If you see one true life documentary, give this one the highest priority, as it is incredible the amount of detail put into the sadly short running time of 93 minutes.

The audio is incredible, the video is incredible - the whole thing is incredible.

Just watch it & get caught up in all of the hard work & bravery involved.

A stunning film/documentary.

John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum (2019)

Awesome Dogs!

[8/10 · 1 November 2019]

The whole film is: Violence > Quiet Moment > Violence > Quiet Reflective Moment > Ultra Violence etc etc.

That's fine, but the section that REALLY made me howl with laughter (in a good way) was when Halle Berry unleashed her dogs in one of the 'battles' - those dogs were BRILLIANT and made the whole film even better than it already was.

Rise of the Dinosaurs (2013)

A Complete Triumph

[10/10 · 26 April 2019]

I have seen a lot of films featuring dinosaurs and other prehistoric things, and this is without doubt, one of the finest examples of an action/adventure film that I have ever seen.

The special effects are stunning, the acting is borderline Oscar material, the story is epic and the ending is one of the most moving I have experienced in my long film-watching career. Oh, and the location looks incredible, too.

The dinosaur animation is better than anything that I have ever seen - so realistic that whenever one of them died, I was very very upset, but it was okay because there were always some more dinosaurs just around the corner.

The acting was brilliant, conveying exactly the right amount of tension and emotion that a film such as this should. I was sad to see one of the operatives get his throat cut within five seconds of being on screen, as I could tell just by those few seconds, that he knew EXACTLY how to act whilst being murdered.

And what can I say about the costumes - whoever organised the wardrobe ought to be praised endlessly because they had JUST the right amount of genuine clothes that perfectly conveyed the location and situation that they were in.

Anyway - apologies for typing such a lengthy review, but all I can say is - if you can buy this from Amazon or anywhere else, do it - you will NOT be disappointed!!!

Murder on a Sunday Morning (2001)

Moving, Very Moving

[10/10 · 20 April 2019]

I am going through a "True Crime Documerntary" blitz at the moment, and have seen a lot of "unjust" programmes & corrupt justice system(s).

This documentary is one of the best I have seen, with the young 15 year old lad wrongly accused all round by pretty much everyone, and his defence lawyer (and colleague) working harder than anyone else in getting to the bottom of the truth.

The final verdict brought me to tears, and I really don't cry very much, ever.

His family must have had the best Thanksgiving time ever, and in the end titles, it stated they were awarded $775,000 in compensation.

Good - they all deserved it & hopefully it will do them some good.

A brilliant documentary & hugely watchable.

The defence lawyer deserves a medal for his hard work & verbal destruction of some of the witnesses. If ever I DON'T murder someone, I'll ask him if he can defend me!

The Room (2003)

Wow. Just Wow!

[10/10 · 19 November 2018]

I was told by a work colleague that this had been voted the worst film ever made, so obviously, I had to watch the trailer and was flabbergasted at the extreme seriousness it seemed the actors/actresses were taking the whole thing.

So I then watched the film.

Why oh why oh why are these actors/actresses NOT doing major movies and why aren't they mega famous for the RIGHT reasons?

Probably because the main character "Johnny" appears to be under the influence of some mind altering medication that makes him look like a cross between the new Danzig singer and the old Danzig singer and being the most deadpan monotoned individual I have ever heard. Oh and his fiancee, Lisa, just wants to get her top off at every opportunity and get snoggy with her lover, despite the fact that at one point her future husband and other partygoers have left the room less than 10 seconds ago!

It is so shockingly bad that it veers into brilliance.

But the only reason I would ever watch it again is if I had accidentally given myself a lobotomy that had gone horribly wrong.

I can only tell friends that they ought to watch it to make them feel better about watching any other film that they thought was bad, but compared to this, is probably actually pretty good.

Confused?

You will be.

Making a Murderer (2015–2018)

Frustration dot com

[8/10 · 11 November 2018]

I don't think I have ever watched a programme that has left me so frustrated at how so many high ranking officials can just "reject" appeal after appeal after appeal even when they receive new evidence that disproves almost EVERY statement/evidence of guilt/everything that has been said in court.

I watched Season 1 back to back, and the same with Season 2, expecting not a happy ending, but at least some sort of positive resolution to the ridiculous (almost evil) way the court system/legal system worked.

It didn't happen. So sad.

Will there be a Season 3? Who knows ....

7 Days in Entebbe (2018)

Interpretive Dance? Really?

[2/10 · 22 September 2018]

Why?

The proper film was promising (6 stars maybe), but it was wrecked by the endless repetitive "interpretive" (aka haven't got a clue what was going on) dance garbage.

Such a shame - I'll go back to my 1976 "Raid On Entebbe" movie thanks.

Kidnap (I) (2017)

Worse Than Lots of Bad Things

[23 November 2017]

Shocking! In real life, this situation would have been sorted out within 3 or 4 minutes.

Atrocious acting, atrocious story, atrocious directing, atrocious plot.

In other words, if you want to get a new TV, this is the film to watch because you WILL punch the screen in anger and frustration.

Avoid, if possible.

Burnt Offerings (1976)

The Chauffeuir. THE CHAUFFEUR!!!

[20 April 2017]

Not the best film ever made (not that it was meant to be), but Oliver Reed was very good, Karen Black was a bit strange ....

But the Chauffeur took the whole film to a creepy level beyond creepy.

I remember seeing this when I was quite young, and that chauffeur caused endless nightmares.

Certainly worth a watch for the whole atmosphere.

Crawl or Die (2014)

Claustrophobia dot com

[8/10 · 4 March 2017]

**Spoilers** The first time I saw this I was a little bit underwhelmed due to the lack of script/dialogue (apart from the speech about a girl being the only remaining fertile female left), but then realised that once "Tank" was the only survivor and she was going from tunnel to tunnel with ever decreasing space, I realised that dialogue wasn't necessary and it became a total tension festival for her (and for the viewer).

I don't think I have ever seen a film where the feeling of claustrophobia has been done so well (even The Descent didn't manage that) and when you think of the extremely limited budget, it is even more impressive. At times I was just begging for her to be able to get some air/space/anything to stop the nightmare!

Nicole Alonso & Oklahoma Ward ought to be very proud of what they have created & I, for one, can't wait for the continuation of the story.

My work colleagues all agreed that it was an incredibly tense film & very good.

Watch it, stick with it & be impressed ..... I was!