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Immanence (2022)
Please just drown me now!
If I'd had to spend any time on this boat with any of these people, I'd be begging to be drowned; or anything really - Anything to stop me having to watch another moment of this.
It is absolutely the most boring film I have seen in many years, it's so tedious I can't even remember what it started being about. Now it's just people running around screaming and saying nonsense and something to do with a pig? I don't know where the pig comes into this at all, but you know what? I just don't care, at all.
I think it might be some religious stuff in disguise as a film but honestly I have no idea. I vaguely remember some people talking about god at some point.
Oh, it just ended... Well, hallelujah!
Hercules Reborn (2014)
Most pointless film I have seen this year.
I'd want to self-abort if I had to be reborn into this world. This was one of the most pointless non-event films I have seen in quite a while. And I have seen some utter nonsense this year! Still - At least the chance to read the reviews made it worthwhile.
What? It wants me to write ten lines? There is nothing more I can say, it's just bad...
Bad! BAD! VERY VERY VERY BAD! Really bad.
DIABOLICALLY BAD!
So bad, it's past that point of being amusing because it's bad... It's just boring bad.
Can I PLEASE stop this review now? You get the idea don't you?
Man Hunt (1941)
People who have read the book will not like this...
I am assuming that the rave reviews on this page were from people who have never read the book - Unfortunately for those of us who love the text, Hollywood outdid itself on destroying this one.
I am not sure where on earth the woman love-interest came from, except that she replaced the cat, nor why our Rogue Male acquired a helpful family back in Blighty - In fact the vast majority of the book has been cut out and replaced with your standard cruddy love story. The ambiguity about which world leader was in his sights was removed completely and our Rogue was given a name (neither of these appeared until the second book).
I gave it a 2 rather than a 1 simply because of the wonderfully bad cockney accents. Joan Bennett outdoes Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins by miles and this goes a tiny way towards saving it.
Ah well - Brits should probably avoid this. Trust me :)
'Pimpernel' Smith (1941)
Propaganda has never been so well spoken.
I do love this film but it is occasionally really hard work trying to work out who on earth is German and who is British in this. The German officers have the most amazingly plumb British Public School accents imaginable and when a German camp officer says such things as "He'll be in Switzerland by now, there'll be the devil to pay for this!" it really doesn't help matters much.
Luckily, most of the actors are wearing the appropriate uniforms so it is a little easier and really, it just adds to the fun of the whole thing.
Enjoy!
Arthur's Dyke (2001)
Despite the negative comments, I liked it.
It seems odd to see so many negative comments about this film - Maybe the people who watched it were expecting something more like "Cliffhanger".
This is one of those quirky films that the British do very well - It's not hugely about anything, though in some ways it's a "coming of age" movie for people who have already come of age. I have nothing else to add about the plot, that has been covered in other reviews but if you want to watch a nice film that is very British and possibly requires quite a subtle sense of humour at times to appreciate (though other times, not so subtle; we still stereotype Swedes better than they do!).