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Morgan-FilmLover
Reviews
U.S. Catman: Lethal Track (1990)
Not even worth a laugh.
I bought this at a K-Mart for two dollars, and that was money wasted. This film makes little to no sense, and despite the way it was packaged, it is not a superhero film, but in fact a poorly made Chinese martial arts movie. The hero, US Catman, does not make an appearance until a good 45 minutes in, when the only American in the movie is scratched by a radioactive cat and acquires the power to fly and shoot lasers out of his eyes with special effects that border on nonexistence. These powers came from a cat mind you. (best line, his friend says, "What are your powers, can you knock down brick walls, or like matches with your mind?") Otherwise they're appears to be some sort of criminal cartel in the mountains, and a female martial artist who wants to bring them down. I wish I could say more, but I honestly don't understand the rest of the film.
I love bad movies (I own "Backyard Dogs"), but this one is almost uncomfortable to watch.
Backyard Dogs (2000)
Not good, and I LOVE pro wrestling.
So many things in this movie make me wince, I don't know where to start. The premise is that a couple of young guys form a tag team, and travel through California on the secret circuit of Backyard Wrestling shows! (all of California looks strikingly like the San Bernardino area).
First off, the fighting in this movie is not good. The film is never quite clear on if Backyard Wrestling is real or not... the characters talk to their manager like it's fake, but if it is, then there is no drama or struggle in the whole movie. The wrestling scenes are laughable, bordering on pathetic. The first time we see the hero fight, he CLEARLY MISSES with a kick, shown in extreme slo motion with hard hitting sound effects. It gets worse from there.
The quest to win Backyard Matches only gets more and more unintentionally comedic as the heroes fall in with shady businessmen and evil wrestlers. To make matters worse the heroes make a bet over which will have sex with their manager
****SPOILER ALERT***** One of the falls in love with her. Never saw it coming.
The only redeeming quality of this film is as a fan of Southern Californian Pro Wrestling, you get to see some of the top stars in the area act silly. Real wrestling stars like Frankie Kazarian, Crazy KC, and Sun Warrior, as well as the legendary Hayabusa from Japan, all make appearances. Hardcore wrestling fans may get a hoot from this movie, but are just as likely to feel insulted.