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Reviews
The Herald and the Horror (2021)
Classic weird horror
I love this movie for the pseudo-Lynchian aesthetic, the committed actors, and the unique vision of horror that the director unfolds slowly over the story.
A young woman has surreal dreams, and a voice tells her about a true god who is greater than her Catholic God. She refuses to believe it, so it promises to punish her family.
The horror that unfolds is a powerful variation on the classic possession/exorcism tale. Except we're not sure if this is a biblical demon or something from a totally different mythology, or one we've never heard of.
The story is cool, the writing is solid, the actors gave themselves fully to their roles. I think most bad movies fail because they don't have a clear vision, or can't quite express it. This movie knows what it's trying to do and everybody is onboard with bringing it out. It's creepy, tragic, frightening, weird, surreal.
It's still a low-budget movie and not the kind of effects Western audiences are looking for. It will probably mostly appeal to horror fans. But if you are a horror fan, this is one of my favorites, which is why I came here to write this.
Dead End (2003)
This is a classic
Launches almost immediately into a weird and doomed place, the sense of foreboding is absolute. Family tensions increase the lostness and the dread. It's a psychological terror on top of the dreamlike trap this family finds themselves in.
The deaths are gruesome without being gory. Everything ugly happens off-screen, but in a way that makes it so much more powerful.
The characters are vibrant and real. I connect with every one of them, and I feel the loss and the terror for those who die.
There's a comedic element, which I usually hate. But in this case it's just the natural comedy that comes with being a human, and actually helps to enhance the horror.
I can't believe I haven't heard more about this movie. It's excellently done, really fun, really scary and dreadful. If you can find it, watch it (I really had to hunt... it's not widely available, unfortunately).
Assassin 33 A.D. (2020)
A bad movie that's fun to watch.
This is what I always want when I go looking for a bad movie that's fun to watch. Maybe because it has true heart-felt conviction.
It's still a bad movie. Relies heavily on "crisis of faith" tropes and pits science against religion. But it's emotionally intense in a coherent yet ham-fisted way.
In a lot of ways it's just a B (or C) sci fi flick. But it's also a fantasy for anybody who would love to go back and help Jesus and really prove that your a good Christian.
I laugh every time somebody mentions going back in time to kill Jesus. I thought I would only watch part of it for a lark but I couldn't help but keep watching.
Every B action movie wishes it could be this.
The Gray Man (2022)
Gosling's worst movie
Pure CGI action, where it's always obviously CGI. Even normal walking and driving scenes are often obviously CGI. There are moments of good choreography, but they're ruined by overzealous editing. The writing is worse than cliche or ham-fisted: it's empty and flat. The attempts at character development are basicslly copy-pasted from other movies.
I had been looking forward to this because Ryan Gosling always picks good scripts. I figured the Russos might show their talent when unleashed from Marvel constraints. But this is basically just a green screen sequence with Gosling's face pasted on with a computer.
Velvet Buzzsaw (2019)
A unique, rich, classic horror movie.
First, it's a classic plot which I haven't seen done before: Haunted works of art.
It's also a great story with fully-developed characters whose unfolding interpersonal dramas pull you into the story before you even realize that it's a horror movie.
Also, there are layers of meaning weaved into the plot which manifest perfectly in just the right moments. Really great storytelling.
I'll admit there are a few moments of cheesy or pretentious dialog about the art world and the meaning of art. But aside from that, this movie perfectly achieves what it was going for.
The Black Book (2021)
This was a blast.
I loved it from the opening scene and it never got boring. Each segment knew exactly what it was about and they were all executed with style.
It's a series of stories tied together by a narrative set in the opening scene. Some of the stories are just a new take on an old trope, but they always pulled me in, and most of them are pretty unique, bringing a new twist and a new direction.
It's campy and self-consciously cheesy (at least, some segments are), but everybody commits to their characters and they all knock it out of the park.
It's really fun and often surprising.
No Time to Die (2021)
Decent Action Movie, Too Much Personal Drama
The last few Bond movies tried to make things much too personal. He's an international spy but the writers create these convoluted, insular plots which lead back to Home, or An Old Nemesis, and hidden plots and cookie-cutter resentful-genius bad guys.
The beginning of the movie was fine. Good action scenes and the mystery of discovering the plot. But then it turns out to be more Stuff From Bond's Past, and I just stopped caring. The last few action sequences were mostly just gun-fights.
It was tough to keep paying attention beyond the first half of the movie.
The ending was good and powerful.
Che: Part One (2008)
Great war film and historical epic
Warning: I don't know much about the history behind these events, so I can't judge it from that perspective. But as a film it's very compelling.
There is SO MUCH going on politically and in the character development, and we mostly just get to see key snippets as the story goes along, until we get to major turning points. But those key snippets are so expertly chosen to showcase the attitudes of the characters, that I believe the editing of this film is one of its most important features. Clearly Soderbergh filmed a whole lot more than he could justify putting into this epic. It could probably have been a miniseries. But he selects the perfect moments and lays them out in rapid succession. And it flows beautifully, showing the countryside and the people, flowing naturally into the battle scenes.
This also might be my favorite Benicio del Toro role, too. I'm a huge fan anyway but his understated performance here really draws you in.
I've been reading a lot about the recent history of the Americas, trying to understand more about capitalism and exploitation and US empire. This obviously isn't as informative as books but it's a very nice piece of the overall puzzle. I'll start the sequel tonight.
Devs (2020)
Almost a parody of the "free will vs determinism" cliche.
The Good:
High production values, some pretty good characters (though stonily acted), and for the first few episodes it worked really well as a science fiction mystery/thriller. There's some slightly interesting discussion of the different interpretations of quantum mechanics. Nick Offerman was great, and the lead actress was also pretty solid (the cast was good generally, but again, stony performances).
The Bad:
The ending is fairly predictable. A scientist learns how to predict the deterministic future, and a strong-willed character seeks to prove that free will is real by defying determinism. Philosophically, it felt naive and not very thoughtful. I was dreading the lame and predictable ending throughout the whole show, and my fears were finally realized.
The story moved really slowly. The relationships never quite felt real. So the human side of this sci-fi story didn't work for me either.
I think the audience can handle a more interesting explorations of what it means to be conscious, to have a self, and just what decision-making is. This was not an exploration of anything.
Sincerely Louis CK (2020)
Independently Released, Briliant, Hilarious, Awfully Uncomfortable
He hasn't missed a step, and he's just as funny and twice as uncomfortable as he ever was.
Without any studio backing, no advertising (at least none that I saw), and the whole internet pretending that his career is over, this guy releases an hour of gut-busting and cringe-inducing commentary and laments destroying any competition or doubts about his abilities.
I love/hate the way he digs into the most awkward and embarrassing stuff. But it's actually comforting to have people who can simply talk straight about how hard and absurd life is, without striving to project some idealized version of what a Successful Good Human they are. He even wore a stained shirt for his "comeback" as he dug up his worst demons for everybody to laugh at.
His perversity is an act of kindness for the wretched creatures of the earth. Like when he talks about how not all disabled people are Special Olympians, some of them just wish they had legs, and that's okay. You can just relax. Life is hard.
And he just sells this on his website. It's not a netflix special, there was no fanfare, no nonsense, just an hour of laughter. And it's really good.
On Cinema (2012)
A show about movies and values
I started watching this show for its clever insights into hollywood, but I've learned so much more about myself and about the world just by Tim's personal dramas and getting involved in the lives of the reviewers. Actupuncture, the legal system, and the heart, all of it is fused into one with the wisdom of On Cinema.
It's a classic, super fun, the hosts have a great confrontational rapport, and sometimes it even gets a little weird.
Servant: Wood (2019)
Into the spooky
The first episode set it up and now we're right in the spooky zone, everything's already moving, hints at psychological or occult thriller elements.
This is good. M. Night's movies always create a wonderful atmosphere and conjure a great mystery. Sometimes he knocks it flat with twist endings, but we're not there yet so this is still a rich and strange tale, full of meaning, and engaging characters.
The Void (2016)
Underrated Classic!
This is one of the most memorable horror movies I've seen. It's primarily a perfectly-executed slasher/monster flick but with a beautiful window into the surreal abyss and wonderful practical effects.
The pacing is perfect and super tense, the practical effects are a really nice break from the lazy 3D everybody else relies on (you might wonder if this whole movie was just an excuse to go nuts with gore and monsters), and the acting is great too. Everybody brings a sense of urgency, their own fully-realized personality, and they all develop real relationships during this full-throttle siege.
This is the kind of movie you WANT to watch when you "settle" for a b-movie. This is what all cheesy horror fails to accomplish. Fun, scary, beautiful, and dark.
The Neon Demon (2016)
Dark and Beautiful Film
This was a tragic, moving, and really personal experience. The director really made me fall in love with the lead lady, twisted me down some dark and soulless tunnels, and dazzled me with a spectacular visual extravaganza. It's like a cross between a music video and a European art-film, though not on the same level as those classics.
The dialogue is so simple, unrealistic to the point of being borderline-dreamlike.
It's not my favourite of Refn's movies. I enjoyed Valhalla Rising and Drive more. But this was pretty satisfying. It's tragic as hell, on more than one level, and visually stunning and very inspired. It's worth watching just for the imagery, but the characters are fully realized and unique, and their interactions are really detailed and meaningful.
I consider this a successful art film. It's not one of the best art films, but it's a genuine and original work. I really enjoyed it, even as I understand why it got some of the bad ratings.
Final note: The darkness here runs deep.
Terminator Genisys (2015)
Weakest Re-Hash Ever!
I came in with low expectations, but this was far worse than I feared.
I didn't expect the visionary sci-fi horror that James Cameron once delivered. I just wanted a cool action movie with lots of robot-smashing fun. Sadly, the action sequences relied on explicitly copying ideas and sequences from the previous films and delivering them boringly. Some people have called this a "throw-back" or homage to the originals. It's really just a lack of imagination.
The dialogue is horrible. The actors and actresses do a pretty great job of pretending to care, but the relationships and character-building could have been devised by a junior high kid. The awkward "romance" that builds between Reese and Connor is just uncomfortable. Connor's love for her robotic caretaker fails to be heart-warming. Schwarzenegger's attempts at humour are very lame and cringe-worthy.
In this film nobody is a bad-ass. Sarah Connor seems like a kid pretending to be Sarah Connor. Kyle Reese seems like a decent actor struggling through a weak role.
I cheered for the bad guy in this movie. (Spoilers ahead) John Connor gets assimilated by a weird next-gen robot who creates a hybrid made of some kind of nanobots and human flesh. When I saw that I thought, "This is true evolution... a human machine!" He's not out to kill them. He's out to assimilate them. If this were a more interesting or visionary film it would have expanded on that idea. But this was a boring film with unrealistic action and way too much mimicry.
Don't watch it. Watch the old ones instead. Even t3 was better than this.