zimbo_the_donkey_boy Reviews

Beyond Raccoon City: Unearthing 'Resident Evil: Extinction' (2008 Video)

simply another standard look at the making-of

[6/10 · 9 October 2014]

4 making-of featurettes: Alice Vision/Pre-production; The Big Bang/Shooting Re:E; Bigger, Faster, Stronger/The Undead Evolve; Vegas Visual Effects/Miniatures Nothing new, but who WANTS something new? Simply a standard look behind-the-scenes into how they made the 3rd Resident Evil. "This is not a conventional zombie movie." How many times have I heard that before? Wish to learn more about the history of zombie films? Here's where. "Kids loved zombie movies." Inspiration from the post-apocalyptic movie. "When we did number two . . ." If you want to hear how he finished that sentence, you'll have to watch this short. How different is this Resident Evil from the others? Watching the old flicks with a 14-year-old. "We want a real director, not some video kid." Can horror happen in broad daylight? Shooting a flick in 135 degrees! They're just gonna tear down Las Vegas when they finish shooting the movie--that's so sad. (No, not to me.) "And it's all made of wood." "High-tech but soulless." "We had a lot of fun making the cars." "I've spent a month of my life playing the games." "I got to blow one of the zombies out the window. It was a blast." "We have two types of zombies in this movie." "The challenge of putting together 300 zombies in 145o desert heat is astounding." "Zombies with Jobs." The fear of being an actor running away from a full-speed stunt zombie. Fan of tentacle-handed zombie. Models vs. CGI. If this sounds like it'll be fun, it'll be fun. But don't expect to see anymore of Milla's nips. 'Sorry.

America's Historic Trails with Tom Bodett: The California Trail: The Rockies to the Gold Country (1997) Season Unknown, Episode Unknown

an actor looks at the California Trail

[7/10 · 22 August 2014]

Not simply the histories of several old roads but also why those histories are interesting. Tom Bodett shares the cultures found stretched across America's Southwest with us showing us little bits of stuff all over. For either those looking for a preview of what their own vacation drive may be like or more likely for those like me who never came closer to exploring those trails than my VHS player. Why the travelers were there. What they did there. What effects they had on their surroundings. What effects their surroundings had on them. As much as can be covered in half an hour. How various rivers figured in. And the mountains of the Continental Divide. And even the story of the Gold Rush, too.

Walking the Mile (2000 Video)

blah

[6/10 · 23 February 2014]

There are two types of these behind-the-scenes bonus features that get added onto videotapes & DVDs. There are ones where the director really puts out an effort to explain a bit about the movie-making process, what they were trying to accomplish with the feature film's project, and showing you a bit of what you didn't absorb from simply watching that feature film itself. And then there are those where they simply splice together a few minutes of footage showing the crew actually shooting that feature film, just created to give them something to taut as a bonus feature. This "Walking the Mile" is one of that second kind. And that's why I'm afraid this "review" of it is so "blah". What is there to say about such an unimaginative, unoriginal short? 'How ironic that the feature film that this was behind the scenes of was such a creative science fiction assault on religion.

Endgame - Bronx lotta finale (1983)

tedious tepid worthless slop

[2/10 · 13 October 2013]

What would a film written & directed by a ten-year old boy look like? That may sound like a cute idea but I assure you it's miserable to suffer through.

Now I've seen yet another Laura Gemser performance but I am not kidding when I say that you'd see more of her in a 30" commercial for dish soap. My girlfriend is less covered up when she's walking around in a below-zero blizzard, and at least I get to see her all day, instead of simply several seconds now & then.

I realize that part of this supposedly features a TV battle game but any such TV show would be canceled after one episode. This whole film appears as though they were attempting to make all characters move as if in a video-game. That may sound like an interesting concept but it is not. If you wish to make things more exciting, you speed things up; you don't slow everything down.

"Futuristic action" No, it is not. "Futuristic" means as if in the future. It does not mean claimed to be set in the future but written & produced by such uncreative slags that it more resembles the distant past, as predicting the future would require imagination, intelligence, and a decent budget. "Hey, Zimbo, they didn't have machine guns or motorcycles in the distant past." But if they had, they wouldn't have gotten off their zippy transportation, dropped their automatic weapons, and fought hand-to-hand with swords. Those moronic nonmutants deserved to die! This was "action" in the sense that jumping off your scooter and engaging in a "battle" dance is, i.e. it was not.

"fun" "romp" -- No character in this film had any fun, and I don't grasp how viewers can. I guess some people enjoy watching hospital soap operas but not me. "Romp" implies fun & humor but I saw none whatsoever. There's a difference between a train wreck and a panel van which slowly gets mired in a puddle of muck. Oh, but we were taught an important lesson about how we should be kinder to the mutants we meet, as they likely have hidden good features to make up for their mutantism? How could Laura Gemser have sunk this low?

Dollface (II) (2011)

something to watch while soft-boiling that egg

[6/10 · 2 October 2013]

How does one write a dozen lines in review of a seven-minute-long film? There's more of a plot here than in a few of the full-length films at IMDb but that's not much of a compliment. The characters here looked more realistic in their make-up than kids do in their costumes at Hallowe'en but that's not much of a compliment.

Next time, I'd suggest they title their film with a less common name. I had to struggle through IMDb's list to figure out which short I was actually looking for. That positively reminded me of the depicted gal's struggle against her captors.

I'm always happy to see some more entertaining shorts over at YouTube. "a short horror movie made in 51 hours for the 2011 Producers' Guild's Debra Hill short film contest" - It sounds to me like they expended as much effort & inspiration as those who developed the new TV series I've seen so far this Fall.

Making Do the Right Thing (1989 TV Movie)

hottest day of the year

[7/10 · 18 September 2013]

An interesting, competently assembled behind-the-scenes feature which told me everything I needed to know about what went on before and during the shooting of that big-screen film in Bedford-Stuyvesant. How they made use of community locals. How they kept them off crack for a couple months. How Danny Aiello looked at things differently than me. How the film crew fit nicely into the neighborhood, with some snippets of those who did not see everything working out perfectly, just to round out the story. How they fitted their film site into that block of Bed-Stuy. What happens when you shoot a fire on a street. The part Melvin van Peebles played in things. The fun of converting 8 weeks to one day. I enjoyed this film of St. Claire Bourne's to that of Spike Lee's.

Lost Masterpieces of Pornography (2010 Video)

short comedy vignette

[6/10 · 15 September 2013]

A light six minutes of amusing fluff about nothing too much. _ June Crenshaw: Sex Kitten To the Supreme Court _ What that would manifest itself as, if creator David Mamet was one of you college kids.

Not "bad". Simply not long enough to work out to be "good". The sort of humorous, little short we make to show our friends or that we see on YouTube.

After finding & watching this thing, I found myself wondering why it's listed here on IMDb, while so many longer and more meaningful flicks are not. Well, now it's got a review, too -- about as deep as the film itself. Our thanks go out to Mamet and the actors for occasionally making this sort of stuff, as well as their bigger, more profitable shows. It's nice that they enjoy their work more than I do mine.

The Making of 'Cape Fear' (II) (2001 Video)

Greg Peck & J Thompson clue you in

[8/10 · 27 July 2013]

A half hour of Gregory Peck and (original director) J. Lee Thompson sharing all the inside dope about the making of the original Cape Fear and looks behind the scenes and even capped off with a few little comments about the remake years later.

The days of censorship. How some actors get into character. How some actors miss out on acting jobs. How some actors get misjudged by directors. How some actors keep from drowning. How some actors get ticked off. How some producers choose titles. How some actors look too lasciviously. How to storm past violence. What Hitchcock had to do with Cape Fear. All interesting.

Dreaming Slipstream Dream (2008 Video)

Just another Making of Featurette

[5/10 · 12 July 2013]

How all the actors in Slipstream have different visions of what Slipstream is portraying. What you write about if you're Anthony Hopkins. This explains Slipstream. Though that doesn't mean you'll understand it after watching this. But it can't hurt.

See the camera. See how Hopkins writes. See how Hopkins directs. "That's the trick of directing -- get out of the way." Fifteen minutes later everything's been clarified. Yeah, right. Well, it's interesting.

It's nice that they save these extra video snippets and collect them into these Making Of Featurettes, isn't it, instead of simply throwing them all away? It's nice that they periodically try their hands at those experimental pieces isn't it? It's nice that they enjoy themselves while working anyway (unlike me in my job).

Making of 'Prison Break' (2006 Video)

simply a standard promo

[5/10 · 2 July 2013]

The director/executive producer: "Once every few years a show comes along that is ground-breaking, that is thought-provoking, that is compelling, that has a great story but also makes you fffeel & care about these characters. So I think Prison Break you know is one of those shows. . . . It's the thinking-man's TV show." After starting off with that load of bull-oney, it's not so surprising that this isn't so much a behind-the-scenes short as simply a half-hour promotional piece. "There was heart." How many promos have I seen with that line?

They did go a little bit into how they cast the Prison Break series but their comments were more illuminating for how much they revealed about how differently the developers and actors saw the series than me. If you're expecting to actually learn how they shot these shows, as I had been, you'll be disappointed.

Several actors commented on how they didn't see what the writers were gonna have happen next, while I didn't tend to have that problem with the series myself.

Beyond the Ink (2006 Video)

tattoos 101

[5/10 · 22 June 2013]

They believe that a lot of us are tuning in to the Prison Break series itself to see the tattoo -- which should give you some idea of how accurately they have us viewers pegged. But then they also imagine that "if he had the blueprints of the prison, the only way he could bring them in is on his body". Yeah, sure, that makes as fine sense as a hundred other details of the series'. But this review is for this short, not a review of the series' logic. And this short DOES give you some insight into where the TV series developers were coming from and how closely tied in to reality they were.

Are these peoples' ideas of art to be blueprints? No, not at all. As you'll see, what all these guys & gals see as art is tattoos. They're supposedly cramming as much data as possible onto the character's bod. So why is this simply an all-black tattoo instead of with lots of different colored inks, as I've seen on plenty of nude models? I'm afraid we do not get an answer to that.

But I sure did learn a lot more about tattoos than I knew before. And more about how tattoo artists look at things than I ever knew either. And more explanation of the designs that they're hiding the maps in than the series provides + various details of design changes.

If These Walls Could Speak: Profile of the Joliet Correctional Center (2006 Video)

nice, concise documentary

[8/10 · 22 June 2013]

Interesting, clear, mostly zooming out from or in to old black & white images but I didn't have to read a book. The executive assistant to the warden and the chief investigator delivered good spiels -- and in color. A lot easier to believe than Prison Break because THIS stuff was true. And THESE were the good guys. All that in nine minutes. I found myself enjoying being educated.

While listening to the commentary tracks for Prison Break I had wondered about all the history of Joliet's prison, which the directors & actors had referred to but not actually explained. And now I've learned it. 'More fun than a drive through Will County. More illuminating than a stop at their visitor center. More edifying than a stay @ Joliet Correctional.

Detonator (2003)

Parody!

[8/10 · 28 March 2013]

I'm an officer of the humor police, and you're all under arrest. Gadzooks, IMDb-posters, surely I was not the only viewer to realize that this is a comedy? You're welcome to claim that you didn't find this as funny as Naked Gun but not to interpret the filmmakers' doing exactly what they were intending to do as failures. Therefore it's my duty to clue in future potential watchers to know that what they're gonna see (or not) is not simply some accidentally amusing action flick. You're why they taught us in film-making school that we have to add laugh-tracks or else nobody will realize when they were intended to laugh. Elizabeth Berkley is as much of a comedienne as Leslie Nielsen, though doesn't fit into her uniform as well.

Carry on Snogging (1998 TV Movie)

not in the O.E.D.

[5/10 · 17 January 2013]

A 24' British look at the sexual revolution, through the eyes of the Carry On films, interspersed with snippets revisiting the historic straight British media's views of things, too. About as deep as the Carry On films themselves.

Not inaccurate as to the Carry On series having become irrelevant but that surely was not due simply to the sexual revolution passing Carry On film-writers by, as they seem to be trying to suggest here. I'm afraid this is more an excuse to just repackage old footage than it is to scientifically analyze the Carry On films.

But if you're looking for an excuse to watch some old clips again though, here it is.

The Gift: A Look Inside (2001 Video)

interesting bunch of interviews

[7/10 · 27 November 2012]

This is a fairly regular "look inside" video. The stars of The Gift were interviewed plus director Sam Raimi, those individual chats being chopped up into little clips and mixed around, with a few little clips from the film (The Gift) itself thrown in, too. Cate Blanchett's interviews were used the most, though I see that she's not included in the cast list here at all, for some reason.

This is not that long of a video, which I take it is likely why it has rated so low (4.7)--it's informative and enjoyable but there's only so much that they could cover in such a brief "special edition" added-on short. I am glad though that they did make this and add it onto my videotape (and I assume also onto the DVD), as it does offer some insights into The Gift and the experience of working on it.

Small Faces: All or Nothing 1965-1968 (2010 Video)

superdidooper

[8 November 2012]

This is what a rock documentary should be like. All the great music, in great old promos & TV appearances, no fear of including some old black & white material, all the British stuff which we Yanks had never gotten to see, interviews with all of them--some old but mostly new, why things happened, how things happened, a zillion facts I never knew. This was made by people who actually knew and actually liked the Small Faces, not like a lot of the goofball "rock" "historical" bologna put out these days. Even a short interview with Jimmy Winston and old bits with former business associates. Foreign TV performances from around the world. Plus nice DVD bonuses of more music videos & interview & pix.

Brian Eno: Hits, Classics and Tracks (2010 TV Movie)

a different view of things

[6/10 · 29 October 2012]

Certainly not an hour's worth of Eno history, yet neither is it simply an hour of collected Eno-connected music videos. It sure does not feature that many Eno hits, let alone classics.

Well, as a sort of semi-fan (myself), I learned plenty about his career and found it interesting to hear it all -- once. All the info snippets stuck in between the songs, sort of like listening to deejays on the radio. A relatively painless way to watch projects of a dozen bands I ignored when they were released, along with those of a couple rock bands I actually was a fan of. A nice reminder that, although I enjoyed people like him stretching rock music in new directions, Eno's musical interests sure are NOT the same as mine however.

I guess this "documentary" is no more commercial than Eno's music is. So that's a good thing? Sort of someone applying the equivalent of Eno's audio philosophies to the idea of making a performer documentary. Was the BBC successful in what they were trying to put together? What WERE they trying to accomplish? Well, it is different. Have a nice day.

Sex Pistols: Agents of Anarchy (2009 TV Movie)

why bother?

[4/10 · 27 October 2012]

We don't learn anything new from this "documentary". 'Care to watch a whole bunch of gits endlessly blather on about stuff they don't know about and that repeated over & over again? Much of this doesn't even concern the Sex Pistols. No, not everything from the '70s concerned the Pistols.

It's always nice seeing the Sex Pistols, and hardcore Pistols fans will enjoy watching all this but, no, this is not a well-crafted tale of a band. This film-maker does not know how to edit. Unless you all believe it makes sense to have each interviewee repeat each point time after time.

I'm thankful they didn't simply throw all this footage out and I was able to watch this once but this is not a real movie. The Sex Pistols were a punk rock band? I've never heard chart positions mentioned so often since wikipedia. Was this a high school film club project? I've now heard enough from Steve Dior to last myself a lifetime.

Brand New Faces 17 (2009 Video)

contains spoilers

[7/10 · 16 October 2012]

(I only caught 45' of this hardcore compilation flick, which Chloe didn't even star in.) Chloe is not at the beginning of things (as several seconds of another actress starting what I was shown indicated).

The cameraman (B Skow I guess) wanders backstage (somewhere) and starts chatting up Chloe Kez and desiring to sniff her underwear. Does this really count as "cinematography"? Sure is easy to amuse, unlike the women I tend to meet myself.

If we can believe everything we're told, she's from Maryland and she's nervous and she giggles and she's impressed by the size of his camera. Shot in LA. Before she was in the beach flick with Pauly Harker (which is not listed by IMDb). Shown signing her Brand New Faces certificate. Counts as a legal document in Hollywood? Her favorite sex position is "Spoon" -- whatever that means. She's Irish (as she also makes a point of in that B.B.A.G. 11). When she signs her name, it's "Lilly" (as she does also model under) rather than Chloe.

Claims her chest is natural, which got that big at 16 or 17. Her nipples are "cotton candy pink". Worked at Hooters and as a nanny. Loves kids, including a 16-year-old. She's 19. See her favorite underwear. Vegetarian. Masturbation jokes. Excited about getting into the porn biz. She doesn't tan. Compares the cameraman to doctors inspecting her. Starred in her school musicals. Has to be in the mood to act. Has only slept with a few boyfriends.

Sex positions: missionary, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, spoon, augie. I guess one of those involves BJ. Chris Cannon likes slapping her butt. Also appearing sounds like "Carol" but, as I don't see any Carol in the full cast list, is that Cyle -- who soon left (from my excerpt)? Likes to start off slow. She took a break to pee. Chloe sure bounces around a lot. Takes shoes off. Enjoyed herself. Chloe is cute but I can't say this is different from a thousand other similar videos.

The Spy Within (1995)

based on a true story?

[7/10 · 3 October 2012]

A Roger Corman film. OK. I don't know why others whined over how the director is a better actor and how they'd expect others to do this film. So what? Roger Corman may have only been an executive producer of this flick but, having seen his name in the opening credits, this video didn't disappoint me. It is a competently assembled action movie. Theresa Russell looks good with clothes and without. Scott Glenn is entertaining fighting and drinking, and fortunately we only have to look at his bare butt once. It's too bad that the NSA's IMDb members have all voted against this fun film, just to protect their secret government jobs. Fortunately the rest of us IMDb members are too smart to be swayed by their evil conspiratorial campaign. And I didn't mean to suggest that Theresa is simply eye-candy; she can act, too. But, when we repeatedly get to see her naughty bits -- woo woo.

Pornography: A Secret History of Civilisation (1999)

the not a

[8/10 · 26 August 2012]

5 hours in 6 episodes. 1 antiquity. 2 print (some in French) the Marquis de Sade as revolutionary force. 3 photography; magazine, homosexual, digital editing. 4 movies; specific films & actresses. 5 video; incredible skags, self. 6 digital relevance, what is reality, future porn but not predicted accurately by these guys. I'd like to see the whole history of the world broken up into different topics like this one -- which simply happens to be pornography. The women aren't particularly good-looking but then that's the case with most actual pornography itself, isn't it? I did learn from this. Nonetheless I'm not directing my daughter to it.

Third Wheel (2009)

what a short should be

[7/10 · 23 August 2012]

Five minutes of a schlub and his gorgeous babe finding what their real relationship is. I've had poor restaurant meals but never one like this. Girlfriends likewise. She sure is cute though.

Shorts are something different than simply short movies, and this one nicely manages to build a suspenseful & funny five minutes of fun out of this five minutes. I don't know why shorts like this get created but I'm thankful that they do.

So is this what it's like dating a redhead? Well, I guess that'd be worth it. My long-term girlfriend wasn't red-haired but I must admit that I did sometimes wonder why she seemed so infatuated with me. What a wacky world we live in? And here's a delightful glimpse at just one small part of it.

The Third Wheel (2002)

very pleasant

[9/10 · 24 July 2012]

I always wished to meet an angel, though I sure wondered how it'd be. And now I know. I seem to agree with a lot of people that it goes very pleasantly. I'd also like to thank Him for rock music and for summer vacations. You have to think very hard to come up with anything bad to say about this flick. What HAD you thought He'd do about the modern world? It's the 20th Century. You come away wondering WHY you hadn't seen this movie before, and this isn't a BAD feeling. I'm going to go look around the Internet and scare up more of the story on it. Denise Richards was perfect in it. They all were. Hollywood, send us more like this, please. Or have made them a decade ago and send them back.

Morons from Outer Space (1985)

as civilization advances, individuals stay the same

[5/10 · 21 February 2012]

Is this flick an incredibly sharp look into one of the great truisms of man? Visits to Wikipedia and IMDb provide useful reminders that, although smart people keep advancing the accomplishments of science and technology, most people are no smarter than most people were a thousand years ago. In a few years you will be able to contact & communicate with your friends simply by scratching your butt. You shall be able to travel to Topeka, Kansas, in two minutes with out even having to get out of bed. Mankind will have colonies throughout outer space. But they won't be just populated with today's astronauts. The bulk of earth's population--stupid people--will not all be left in LA & NYC. No, there shall continue to be stupid people everywhere that there are intelligent people, and that'll include extraterrestriality.

However making a straightforward point of that in a science fiction film was too simple for EMI to bother with. Oh no, they decided to go one better and really drive their point home by using only stupid people to write and direct their flick. I suspect they also were trying to drum up a little sympathy for Britains from us charitable Americans, "Wow, Britains have to settle for so-called 'comedies' like this which are not funny? OK, I won't complain about Congress sending them more financial aid." How can someone not like a movie which tries to poke fun at aliens by mocking crappy pop singers & Belgian drivers? Did you miss the first vomiting gag? Don't be glum. They puke throughout this flick. I did find this DVD interesting for the further little insights into British culture that I picked up from watching it. I figure that's worth an additional two stars. And, although only several lines were actually funny, I did laugh AT this film a lot; I was laughing at the failure of the lines & situations to be funny that were obviously MEANT to be but, yes, I was laughing, so I figure that's worth a couple stars (if you laugh at people falling down stairs, as I do). And for those of you who bought the DVD and need a reason to ever watch it again, it featured a view of a man's naked penis. Look to see if you can spot it. That's worth a fifth star in a PG-flick.

The Longshot (1986)

hilarious hack comedy

[8/10 · 22 January 2012]

Tim Conway (writer) really knew how to put together a fine comedic project. These characters' logic reminded me of that of my gambling friends but the main point is that I was laughing throughout this thing (while watching it on TV, with lots of naughty words cut out). Yeah, Conway, Jack Weston, & Harvey Keitel really knew their stuff. They made each line work. As much as I enjoy Anne Meara, I also appreciate Stella Stevens bringing a different element to this flick. Sure, this was rather formulaic -- I wish there were MORE 26-year-old formula comedies for me to watch over lunch to get me started on my weekend. What did a running toilet have to do with gambling? So what? Conway made it so that I'll never look at a toilet the same again.