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Crimson Peak (2015)
Neat idea, terrible execution
"Ghosts are real", the opening, and closing, of Crimson Peak claims.
And thus begin - and concludes - a 2 hour ghost story. Except, the story within would be materially the same thing if there were no ghosts. Or maybe there weren't ghosts and the narrator was simply having visions? Or maybe the ghosts do exist, but no one else can see them? Or maybe the ghosts exist, but Thomas and Lucille simply see them as shadows? Who knows, it's never made clear.
What is clear is the predictably awesome set designs, colors, and vibe of a Del Toro movie. You will certainly fall in love with the Gothic, fairy-tail-like feel of Crimson Peak. The mysterious red clay and pink snow. The uncomfortably creepy indoor snow. The dim candle-lighting. And you'll remain at the edge of your seat waiting for the explanation... that never comes.
#--- MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW -------- This is, at its heart, a movie about a crazy, incestuous brother and sister. The sister murdered their mother and went to an asylum. The brother... we're not sure. He went to a boarding school, came home and... suddenly began a mad cycle of getting married, killing wives, digging fruitlessly in a mine for a red clay that is impossible to dig and yet exists in truckloads in their basement. The clay is valuable for an unknown reason and un-mineable for another unknown reason. There's a dog who, unfed and outdoors, didn't starve over the long, cold winter. There is a seemingly supernatural ring that serves no purpose other than to explain the conspiracy to another character. And there are the butterflies and moths, who... I don't even know. Metaphor?
The movie is jam-packed with half-baked ideas that don't add to the storyline other than to make it increasingly creepy. I was so sure this was a story about some sort of magic, except it's not. It's just crazy people and ghosts that don't seem to matter.
Why do Thomas and Lucille kill Thomas' wives after they get the money? The gramophone that explains the entire story is kept... why? So much is unexplained. So much makes little sense. In the end, I just left frustrated at the potential. Great idea, still sort of charming, but overall, this is no Pan's Labyrinth.
Simon in the Land of Chalk Drawings (1976)
Ah...the classics
Simon in the Land of Chalk Drawings was a simple young-child oriented cartoon produced in the 1970s. Although charming in its own right, the show will likely be remembered more for the addictive theme song than anything else. Many remember watching this all the time, however, in reality, each episode was only 5 minutes long, and in the US, at least, only shown as a sketch on the Captain Kangaroo Show. Though most people can't tell you a single thing about content of the 30-someodd episodes, virtually all Gen-X'ers can recite the theme song as if it were grained into their subconscious from birth.
Younger adults will likely remember the "Simon" parody Mike Myers did on Saturday Night Live.
Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place (1998)
An enjoyable soap-sitcom
One of the real plusses of "Two Guys and a Girl" was that, like a soap opera, the plot continued week to week, often wasting little time catching you up. Sadly, this is probably the reason it eventually was cancelled - because it alienated audiences who didn't know the backstory. The characters were all three dimensional - they were consistent and enjoyable. Pete was forever struggling with finding the right job, Berg was too cocky for his own good, sliding by on his wit and charm, Sharon was the control freak, Ashley, Jonny, and Irene provided the quirkiness that rounded out this great cast and show.
The characters in this show were a tough crowd to sell, though - recent graduates trying to make their way and define their lives. While shows like Friends and Seinfeld and many other pop sitcoms eventually turned their characters into caricatures of themselves, Two Guys and a Girl remained faithful to the characters, providing a fantastic continuing storyline whose ending, unfortunately, looks to be forever a mystery.
Tomcats (2001)
damn.
I like the people in this cast. Jerry O'Connell is a good guy. Jake Busey is freaky, just like his Dad. He's scared me since Contact. Shannon Elizabeth is a great young talent. And Jamie Pressly is just...smokin'.
But the fact is, this movied sucked, plain and simple, and nothing else can be said beyond that.
Le fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain (2001)
Great Movie
Not only is "Amelie" a great film, its use of color, vivid images, and off-the-wall, yet subtle humor (see 6-year old's humorous revenge) is entertaining on virtually every level a film can be.
The gorgeous Audrey Tautou gives a masterful performance as the bold, yet introverted, title character and captures your heart from the first few scenes in which she appears. As a subtitled movie, its clever imagery warrants a second watch. Beware of two or three fairly graphic montages including a chorus of orgasms across Paris and the interior of an adult bookstore. Highly recommend.