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Reviews
The Time Machine (2002)
No, no, no!
What happened to this movie?! Why?! Why?! What did he do to it?!
First I must say I am a huge fan of the original movie. Great acting, and incredible special effects, storyline, etc.
The great-grandson of the amazing writer, H.G. Wells decided hmmmm...let me take this classic movie, that my great-grandfather wrote, and screw it up!
He totally changed the story. The only thing that's the same is he goes into the future. That's it. Nothing more. Nothing less.
The movie wasn't a total loss. I really enjoyed the special effects. Since this is the movie was made in 2002, people will demand CGI. Since people nowadays have no imagination, they want CGI. I have to admit the special effects were very good.
The Morlocks. Come on. In the story they are supposed to be afraid of the light! Night dwelers! What is the sad excuse for the Morlocks? They look like crap!
Did he REALLY need to put in a "Senior" Morlock?! Where does that fit the story?
And the lead role...UGLY.
3/10
The Time Machine (1960)
Classic
A young scientist at the break of the new century has invented a time machine. He embarks on a fantastic journey into the very far distant future. Where he discovers that man has evolved again. Now there are two species of humans. The Eloi, peaceful, loving people, and the Morlocks. Night crawlers and mean.
Sure the movie is old, but what does that mean? It's a whole lot better than the new version.
For a 1960's movie this has very amazing special effects. No computer generated images there...just a lot of film! Sure the Morlocks may look a little weird, but oh well! Do we really need a CGI 10ft tall godzilla like creature who can talk and leap tall buildings? No. That's too much and very unrealistic...wait the whole movie is...but that's the point.
My theory is we will never invent a time machine anytime soon. And if we do, it will never be able to go back past the time it was built. That's as much history as it knows.
A very good and classic movie for years to come. The movie never ceases to amaze me...although it does get a bit boreing after you've seen it 3 times in the same day!
Very very good. 10/10
Cadet Kelly (2002)
Good!
Having stared the beautiful Hilary Duff and Christy Carlson Romano I had an interest in the movie. Also because I am in NJROTC. Now I flinched and ended up biting my fingers at some things. I know she's just acting but some of the things that she did!!!! Talking back to the commanding officer?! Ignoring orders?? My god. Where does she get off doing that? Even though it was acting I found that it hit very close to home. A young girl lives with her divorced mother and has a great relationship with her father. She has the time of her life. When her mother meets a retired General and decides to marry things couldn't be better. But when she finds she's leaving her school and moving to military school where her new step father will be the top dog, things change. She hates her life and misses her friends and is tired of all the rules. During her time she deals with her cold-hearted commanding officer, following the dress code, trying to win the heart of another cadet who happens to be a very high ranking officer, the absence of her old friends and other things. But soon she makes new friends and gets to liking it. It's worth watching and very funny. I did notice several errors like on Kelly's step father's uniform and several things they did in training and other things. But it was very good. 8/10.
The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
One of the best
POSSIBLE SPOILERS The Silence of the Lambs has become one of my favorite movies of all time. I love it. I can almost memorize the entire script and everything that happens. A man known as Buffalo Bill is abducting large women, killing them, skinning them, and dumping them into a lake. The most recent abduction happens to be a young woman, the daughter of the Senator Tennesee. A "rookie" FBI agent named Clarice Starling played by the beautiful Jodie Foster is sent to investigate. In order to catch Buffalo Bill she must speak with another murderer: Dr. Hannibal "The Cannibal" Lecter played by the man born to play Dr. Lecter: Anthony Hopkins. If you notice he doesn't blink once during the entire movie. (Winks don't count. And in his new cell doesn't count either.) There is only one scene in the movie I didn't like. The scene I will not mention because it is just nasty to see a guy like that. But it did play an important part to the movie. It just showed how deranged and weird Buffalo Bill was. This has got to be one of the best movies ever created. 10/10
Creepshow (1982)
Scary and Funny!
POSSIBLE SPOILERS I love this movie! It is scary and funny at the same time. In some parts I didn't know what to do: scream or laugh.
Clever tales include: On father's day a man rises from the dead to get his father's day cake he never had. A 2 man cast where a meteor crashes on earth with a plant goo inside. Staring Stephen King. A crate under some stairs at a college contain a blood thirsty monster.
A man (Steve Martain) discovers the secret relationship between his wife and a friend and gets revenge...but that's not all he gets... And last and most disturbing another 2 man cast about a tycoon who lives in a "germ" free apartment where he plays God by firing everyone. Meanwhile he is being watched...by billions of cockroaches. I actually stopped watching that episode and didn't finish watching it until days later.
This movie is very good. It's cheap looking at times, yes, but can you do better? If so give me a call and we'll talk. The last episode grossed me out and I didn't sleep well that night. Every time I heard a skitter or some small noise I would jump. I highly recommend this movie.
All That (1994)
Used to be the best
I remember a few years back there used to be a time when every Saturday night I could sit down in front of the TV and watch something called "Snick". I know it's still around, but it doesn't give that cool intro it used to. There was a show that came on called "All That". I loved that show.
*Minor Spoilers* It's sort of like Saturday Night Live in a way. I hate that show, but I've heard that the original cast was better than the new cast. Same as "All That". This new cast isn't as funny. In fact they are just annoying. The cast is smaller and how could they put Jamie Spears on the show?! I remember the famous "Good Burger" sketches with silly counter worker Ed. It was funny how he screwed up the orders, got the people mad at him. Amazing how he managed to keep his job. I loved vital information with Lori Bet. The "Information" was just completly pointless. (Duh!) Then the "Super Dude" sketches. How he couldn't stand dairy products?! Milkman (my favorite) was always trying to defeat him. In every sketch Super Dude's alter ego would always "disapper" and come back when it was over. It was making fun of all of the super hero movies like it was very obvious that it was him the whole time but the characters are too stupid to know it. Also "Cooking With Randy and Mandy" (It's been so long I can't remember) Always cooking with chocolate and nothing else. One that I thought was one of the best was "Earboy". They didn't do many of those sketches. They should have brought him back more often.
But like almost every TV show the cast gets older and older and doesn't want to do the shows anymore. Which is very understandable. I would get tired of it after so many years. At first, some of the original cast stayed and the new cast was actually pretty funny. Then they left new cast memebers came and so on. It kept getting worse and worse. This used to be one of my favorite shows back then. Now it's just plain stupid and the cast sucks. Back then 10/10 now 0/10. If you can find tapes or something of the original show I strongly recommend you watch it. This new cast, don't bother.
Tank Girl (1995)
Kinda annoying
First off, Lori Petty is not a "pretty" (get it?) woman. Second, it get's REALLY annoying hearing her every 30 seconds go "Pa-Pow" or "BOOM!" or whatever else she must say to try and make the movie funny. Her outfits and hair styles are ugly and her singing voice sucks. Pretty good idea for a story though: In the future, a comet crashes on earth destroying just about everything. (hmmm...Mel Gibson...Mad Max...)There is a limited supply of water left. (hmmm...Mel Gibson..Mad Max...limited supply of gas...) and the survivors of earth will do anything to get it. (hmmm...Mel Gibson..Mad Max...fighting for the gas...) ok I'll stop.
There is a facility where the Water and Power operate. One of the best villians ever created wants every drop of water for himself.
Good idea for a movie...if Mel Gibson hadn't done a similar movie already!!! What were they thinking casting a nearly bald and hideous woman like Lori?!
Oh and the Rippers...pretty good...not the type of people I would've casted for the parts...but whatever... If they had casted someone else to play Tank Girl and the Rippers this could've been pretty good. 8/10 on the story 6/10 for the movie overall
Max Keeble's Big Move (2001)
Actually a Good Movie!
Like I've done w/ most of the movies I love now, I saw the preview for this movie and thought it was a stupid movie to see. It came on STARS and I decided to give it a chance. I saw it from beginning to end and I actually liked it! Ok, so it does have that "little kid" environment to it, but the movie IS intended for KIDS! That's not all true, I discovered. There are a lot of jokes that little kids may not understand as well as teenagers and adults would.
It teaches the kids that if you stand up to the bullies and talk w/ them they will eventually back down or they will continue to torment you, but will get hit in the face w/ the same kind of treatment later if life.
Adult reviewers on this website are always bad-mouthing kids movies.
What do you expect?!?!?!? The movies are supposed to be stupid! They are intended for young viewers! It wasn't the best movie in the world, but every time it comes on TV I normally try and watch some of it. 7/10
Python (2000)
Hmm....
*SPOLIERS* Okay I saw this at the video store, and chuckled at it.
I read it and chuckled again. Horror? This is not a horror movie. This a comedy! It's so bad in some parts that its funny! Don't get me wrong, this movie wasn't HORRIBLE. It wasn't a very good horror movie though. Some things that are disappointing: The snake looks so fake. You can tell it's computer. The snake at the start seems to have trouble w/ the wooden wall, but breaks down walls and a steel door in one hit elsewhere The snake on Robert Englund's finger reamins stiff throughout and looks fake. Good things: Jenny McCarthy (The funniest sequence in the movie! That song!) Robert Englund Casper VanDiem (however the hell you spell it) Lesbian Sex
Other things about the movie: The movie wasn't scary. But it was funny as Hell! Like the ending! "I killed a giant python, and all I got was this lousey t-shirt" Again, not a good horror film but excellent comedy! Horror rating: 3/10 Comedy rating: 8/10 Overall, good movie to watch if your in for a good laugh at pathetic filmmaking.
Jack Frost (1997)
Jack Frost nipping at your nose (really)
*SPOILERS* I love this movie so much. Yes it is low-budget. Yes that is a cloth suit, yes in some scenes you dont actually see Jack killing, yes some of scenes are fake-looking.
WHO CARES?! Think of it as one of those 50's movies. Use your imagination! Jack Frost, a serial killer is on his way to be done away w/ when the truck hits a truck w/ untested chemicals and it melts him into the snow where I'm guessing his soul becomes the snow and raises as a killer snowman to kill the sherif who caught him when promised he'd "find a way"
The smart-mouthed snowman goes on a killing spree killing people in the funniest ways: carrot to *cough* christmas tree I won't say anything else. Don't listen to people bad-mouthing it. It's supposed to be bad! This movie actually has memorable quotes! Come on the movie has to be good to get memorable quotes picked out! 9/10!