Change Your Image
AshCaton
Reviews
Quantum of Solace (2008)
Bond In A Huff
What's bad about this film: there's a fair bit of crazy camera work - OK, a little madness is fun, but too much and we haven't a cat in hell's chance of knowing what's going on. More product placement. Gemma Alderton. And Bond is in a mood. What's good about this film: everything else. I mean that. Some of the best action sequences you'll ever see in Bond; the post-credits chase, the boat chase, the opera house. It's clever, sophisticated, without getting too much bogged down in technical details. Craig is a relentless force, intense. He can switch from quietly charming to bulldog fury in the blink of an eye and doesn't pull any punches. Matthieu Amalric is wonderfully slimy as Dominic Greene, and his end is understated but ultimately very satisfying. This is certainly as stylish as Bond has ever looked, from the slick editing to opening credits. (OK, not the best song, but the animation is fantastic.) My only other jibe at this movie is that when the opening credits to appear, they have a faltering, unsure and delayed start, prompted by an inconsequential line. When there is such a defining gunshot only five minutes after the credits, it makes you wonder why they didn't just do it then. Anyway. All in all, a cracking addition to the franchise, Bond is definitely here again. Hopefully he will have a little more fun next time.
Titanic (1997)
Ordinary
This is not a groundbreaking film. This is not even an informative film. Instead it is an ordinary, clichéd, love story set on a boat. It looks gorgeous, it's very well acted, it's only failing is in it's false premise. This is not a film about the Titanic. This I found incredibly irritating as I was desperate for more focus on what was going on anywhere else but with Jack and Rose. What is most ridiculous is that the film even makes point of introducing the Captain and other historically accurate characters, only to ignore them until the climax. Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio are both very capable actors and I think they tackle Rose and Jack admirably, in other hands they could have been very cringe-worthy indeed. For me, the most interesting part of this film is Bill Paxton and his mates going to examine the ship in present day. The rest of the story descends into a bloated, overly sentimental blur of over dramatic emotions as Billy Zane suddenly goes loony and Celine Dion's heart goes on and on and on... Literary critics said in 1912 that it took a vast amount of human vanity to create the Titanic, and now it took another huge dollop to make this movie. I didn't cry. Neither will you.
X-Men (2000)
Cracking Superhero Flick
X-Men as a whole has to be one of the best things Marvel have trundled out so far. Each of the Marvel films shares a similar look, which helps to realise each of these characters are in the same universe. The first X-Men works well, largely because it abandons any attempt to fill in a long, overwrought origins story (see Spider-Man, Iron Man etc.) and just jumps right in there. Particular highlights of the cast include a hardened Hugh Jackman on growling form as Wolverine, Ian McKellen as Magento and Patrick Stewart who holds it all together as Professor X. What's great about this film is that it focuses on the team dynamic, something director Bryan Singer made his name for in The Usual Suspects. We have a good even spread of all the X-Men instead of being bogged down dealing with just one. It's also rather satisfying to see the baddie mutants (Magneto et all) making life difficult, especially for the slimy Senator Kelly. As you would expect, the graphics are spot on and there are some very memorable fight scenes. A worthy superhero movie.
Serenity (2005)
Spectacular Sci-Fi
I'm coming at this from the perspective of someone who never watched Firefly; the TV show on which this film is based. It's an entirely unique film, it manages to deal with potentially apocalyptic circumstances with a feel-good air and great laughs; something creator Joss Whedon proved he could do with Buffy. Vampires make an appearance here too. It's sharply written, witty and yet has a sci-fi storyline worthy of recognition. Particular mention to Nathan Fillion who is a terrific comic actor, you may recognise him from Slither. Summer Glau, from the Sarah Connor Chronicles also makes an appearance as River, another of Whedon's strong women. All in all, this is a compelling watch which will leave you smiling and wondering why.
Watchmen (2009)
The Best Comic Book Film I Have Ever Seen
Watchmen surpasses entertainment. It is a punchy, gutsy piece that's not afraid of being horrible,or of being gaudily superhero-y at times. It is a plethora of stories all perfectly entwined together with slick confidence. It's well acted, beautifully shot and actually feels like it's from a comic book - something Marvel should be taking note of. No blustering around trying to make twenty year old comics more hip - Watchmen manages to be just as powerful as when the comic was released whilst still very much of a 1980's setting. This could not be more perfectly realised than by President Nixon, here with a comic rubber nose that wouldn't be seen dead in Frost/Nixon, but here fits in with lycra suits and night goggles perfectly. The superheroes themselves are all the favourite hero clichés; one with an obsession with retribution, the timid one with all the cool toys, the one who's lost control, the one who's turned bad, and the giant naked blue guys. But it outgrows any sense of cliché with its merciless satire on what these people have become and each of their fates are superbly fitting. Not a film for the faint-hearted but nevertheless, you can have all the X-Men, Spider-Man and even Batmans in the world if I can have four minutes of Watchmen. A triumph of modern cinema.
Star Trek: The Next Generation: Where No One Has Gone Before (1987)
Next Gen Finds It's Footing
This is a personal highlight from a season with little to have a song and dance about. The Enterprise is thrown many lightyears from home by a mistake made by two guests called Kosinski and the Traveller. Interestingly, the actor who plays the Traveller was in the running to play Data. It's a superb episode which shows the strength of the main cast as well as displaying some great guest performances from the wonderfully arrogant Kosinski and the mysterious Traveller. There are also some rather splendid graphics here and there. However, the corniness of this first season as a whole shines through when Picard is forced to encourage his crew to "believe" their way out of it, but it is a forgivable little cringe.
Star Trek: The Next Generation: The Last Outpost (1987)
The First Ferengi
This is the first ever episode of Star Trek to introduce the Ferengi, a race of greed-ruled creatures, who at this point in the series, were shaping up to be the lead villains of Next Gen. It would be all to easy to hate the Ferengi, but I always enjoyed their appearances, and this is no exception. Making an appearance is Armin Shimmerman, the actor who would go on to brilliantly play Quark in Deep Space Nine. This is a unique appearance for the Ferengi, as they are more threatening here than their usual mild annoyance, this is shown by the fact they have purple whip things which prove rather hazardous with the Enterprise crew. Seeing a Ferengi vessel is always a treat as well. The overall episode is so-so, there is a nice bit where Riker and Portal 63 have a pleasant chat once the Ferengi are dealt with, but the novelty of this episode lies with those big eared orange dwarfs themselves.
Star Trek: The Next Generation: The Naked Now (1987)
Better, But Wesley-Heavy
This is an homage to an original series episode, and is actually rather fun: the entire crew become 'drunk' on an intoxicating anomaly and it's all rather silly. However, annoyingly the episode focuses heavily on young Master Crusher, who begins here to make a habit of being a meddling little git. Oh, and Data and Tasha Yar have get it on. In fact, seeing the entire crew as a shambles this early on in the season is incredibly refreshing; all of the stoic seriousness of Starfleet which has only just been introduced is out of the window already. All in all, quite a breeze, one of those stock Wesley-redeems-mistake episodes which you can never quite forgive him for.
Star Trek: The Next Generation: Code of Honor (1987)
An Odd One
Tasha Yar is kidnapped by a race who resemble tribal Africans. The leader of this race wants her as his wife and subsequently she is forced to fight it out with his old wife. Quite a bizarre episode,which has far more in common with the original series than Next Gen, a move probably entirely deliberate given that this only the third episode. I have to say as a Star Trek fan, I can put up with a lot of shoddy acting, but something about Tasha Yar always made me grind my teeth. Perhaps it was the haircut, or the tone of voice but I never liked her much and this is a perfect example of why. To be honest I was pleased when she left the series and actually enjoyed her performances in her subsequent and inevitable comebacks. Not essential.
Star Trek: The Next Generation: Encounter at Farpoint (1987)
A Flawed First Step
The series does not start as it means to go on. Although it's first two seasons are crammed with incredibly average episodes, as well as numerous duds, afterwards the pace picks up and one of the finest space operas is born. The first ever episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation is remarkable for two things: it's hugely enjoyable introductions to all of the main cast, and Marina Sirtis' peculiar accent which would later disappear. Seeing how it all began is very satisfying, and viewed in mind of the rest of the series, rather moving actually. Otherwise it is a very mediocre episode featuring Q, and some giant jellyfish. That's right.
The Simpsons Movie (2007)
What Is Everyone's Problem With This?
The Simpsons Movie seems to have fallen on damning criticism from all angles. Personally, I don't understand the problem; this is fresh, well written Simpsons on top form. Anyone who was expecting anything radically different from the TV show were bound to be disappointed - this is a film that needs to be taken for what it is - an hour and a half long Simpsons episode, with tightly packed, top standard Simpsons humour. As for the scale of the movie; it is much greater than the average episode; it is clear the creators have pushed the movie to the limits and tried to explore how to make it seem grander than the TV show. In a way, I think this movie is cursed by it's own popularity as a TV show, and therefore some of the jokes and story lines are bound to seem "old hat". But if it is taken as a standalone comedy, it is a more than worthy addition to a beloved show, and hugely enjoyable in it's own right. Roll on, sequel!
Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (1986)
Family Trek
Star Trek is never everyone's cup of tea, and this, the fourth installment in the movie franchise, is no exception. Yes, it's set in the real world, in the 1980's, but it never quite betrays its roots and becomes a different entity. However, for Trekkies (me included) this seems possibly the most fun and even best loved of the films, and it's not hard to see why. The cast seem perfectly comfortable in their roles, all showing the signs of age, but no less enthusiasm for their cause. There is very little in the way of peril in the film, there is no "big baddie" and the most stressful period for the crew seems to be trying to transport a humpback whale onto the Enterprise. This is a significant departure from The Wrath of Khan and Search for Spock, both of which had formidable villains. So, the plot is light(humpback whales? in Star Trek?!), the jokes are sparkling ("Nuclear Wessels")and the whole thing ends up as a fun ol' romp for the Enterprise crew. Enjoyable Stuff.
Twilight (2008)
Undead Tripe - Stick to Buffy
What's good about this film: Billy Burke's performance of Bella's Swan's Dad. There are some nice landscape shots. Bella is OK. What's bad about this film: The villains appear to be an assortment of undead retards, they maintain a constant threat level equal to cold porridge throughout the film, occasionally spouting some entirely inconsequential dialogue with pantomime-villain false bravado. Robert Pattinson may be good looking as the not-so-fangy Edward Cullen, but his performance would embarrass a four year old Shepard in a Nativity. He has clearly mastered the "I'm awfully troubled you know/digestive difficulties are getting me cross" cold pout, and reverts to this failsafe in almost every scene. His delivery of the line "The venom" and his initial reaction to Bella are positively cringey and laughable. Avoid this film if you're not a thirteen-year old girl or have enough brain activity to power a muffin.
The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
Wonderfully Chilling
Anthony Hopkins gives the performance of his career in this suspenseful thriller as the cannibalistic Hannibal Lecter. It is, in a manner of speaking, Hopkins' film, a character study on his behalf. Any fraction of second with him on screen is electrifying. His manipulation, deception and fleeting seconds of violence are all so brutally portrayed; Hopkins' succeeds in creating what surely must be one of Cinema's finest villains. Jodie Foster does her 'I'm a bit damaged' thing and personally, I don't think this is one of her best performances, perhaps because she is so thoroughly upstaged throughout. Ted Levine manages to shine as the woman-skinning serial killer known only as Buffalo Bill. There are sequences where the script verges on being slightly hammy, but its raw impact and consistent tension always gets the better of it. What's so brilliant about this film is it's claustrophobia. The sense that, even from behind bars (or glass, as the case may be) Lecter manages to have people wrapped around his fingers, is far more terrifying than if you gave him a knife and fork and stuck an apple in your mouth. You don't quite get the feeling that Starling is anywhere close to being a match for Lecter, and perhaps if she had given him just a bit more of a run for his money, it could have been slightly more exciting. Then again, perhaps the most numbing thing about Silence of the Lambs is how easy it is for a monster to have his way with the world.
Transformers (2007)
Wrong Time, Wrong Place
Transformers was always going to be risky; 'transforming' what started as a series of toys and an apparently beloved animated series into a film screams "iffy!" in any film buff's ears. Unfortunately, it is a case of wrong time, wrong place for this CGI soaked blunder of a movie. In a world with Jason Bourne, a new, far more brutal Bond and the Dark Knight, Transformers can't help but take itself seriously. In my opinion, this is the wrong choice. After sitting through over an hour of this drivel, I was pleading for some Robocop-esquire satire, but none came. Surprisingly, it was the performances that I most enjoyed. Le Beouf is suitably awkward and bewildered and John Turturro puts in a show stealing performance. Where Transformers falls down is on its metallic heroes. They are truly the worst cinematic creation since the human/alien/basically a naked sloth in Alien: Resurrection. The fact that they talk is a huge mistake, funnily enough it is the little yellow mute one that has the most character. None of the others summon even the smallest smidgen of compassion, and consequently, you couldn't care less when they get crushed by Megatron, a dormant Transformer who, waking up after a century or so's hibernation declares that he IS Megatron. Well thanks for the heads up. If Transformers just had the integrity to abandon it's integrity, realise that actually, yes it is a ridiculous idea for a film and have some fun with it, it could have been much better. Instead it's just boring.